Toilet Libraries

[Reginald]

All real men have a toilet library.

When I move out and get my own place, I will have my very own toilet library.

As I am weighing up the benefits of moving out at the moment, I thought I would start to plan my toilet library.


Here is what I have in it so far:

The Collected Tales and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe
The Complete Edward Lear
1001 Films to See Before You Die
60 Ways to Change Your Life This New Year (magazine supplement)

If you came to my toilet, would you be semi-pleased with this library? Or do you require more?

What is in your toilet library?

 

[Sheepo]

Am I the only person in the world that doesn't take more than a couple seconds to shit?

Usually I'll carry whatever I'm reading with me.

 

[Dog--]

wow, I just go in, go real quick, and leave. I barely have time to pull down my pants ffs.

 

[Reginald]

Like I said, only real men have toilet libraries.

 

[Krynn72]

Either you guys have explosive shits all the time, or you guys force it out.

Either way its unhealthy.

I usually scramble to find something to grab and read before going in. As of late its been an anatomy book.

When I move into my new place (a duplex all to myself whoo!) I'll probably put some books in the cupboard and have an actual library in there.

 

[Emporius]

Pffft, amateurs

Lets see:

Ender's Game
Some Calvin and Hobbes
Zits
Breath and Bones
Several Uncle John's Bathroom Readers (absolutely necessary)
Pillars of The Earth
OXM
PopSci

 

[Sheepo]

Either you guys have explosive shits all the time, or you guys force it out.

Nope, if I have to shit and it just... poops. I also never have any pain or struggle which others seem to have. WTF at bathroom grunting. If I have picked up a good book though, I'll sit on the toilet for a while and keep reading.

 

[Dog--]

Like I said, only real men have toilet libraries.

Well ****, I can't do log tossing competitions when I'm pooping.





Wait..

 

[Sheepo]

Emporius reminded me I'm in dire need of my own copy of Ender's Game.

 

[TimoJay]

I have the entire PG Wodehouse collection in my toilet library.
Yeah. I take long shits.

 

[Jintor]

I go to the library to take my shits.

 

[nipples]

I just play something on my ipod or text people.

 

[JFry]

If it's taking you that long to take a shit maybe you should just pull your pants up and come back when you're ready. I usually just think "is this what buttsex feels like?" when I'm pooping.

 

[Warped]

I usually don't have time to read on the toilet, if your on the can too long i suggest eating both more vegetables and fruits

 

[Tarkus]

I actually take my laptop with me and continue surfing the interwebz or talking to people on messenger

 

[ktimekiller]

I normally carry whatever book im reading at the moment

 

[Stigmata]

You guys are bad at pooping. I know when I have to poop, and when I do it's only marginally slower than urinating.

 

[MJ12]

I am in to much concentration to read while I shit.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

If I take long enough to have time to read, I'm spending that time trying to finish ASAP

 

[NeptuneUK]

I read PC gamer magazine.

One day I will evolve into a real man and read autotrader.

 

[Pesmerga]

Playboy, PCGamer, the back of a box of condoms, whatever is laying around. Usually I just look at my hairy legs, though.

 

[Sulkdodds]

At home, our toilet is a tiny cubicle seperate from the bathroom, so there's no room for book storage. Here, it's almost as small, and anyway shared by various people in the house. A toilet library has never really been feasible for me.

However, I always must read something in the toilet. This sometimes results in a mad scramble for something I want to read while all the while I'm popping a turtle head, but more often it constitutes a couple of minutes of tactical decision before I embark for the loo. At home, I sometimes take my laptop in there and sit around for about an hour; here, I tend to grab some article or poem that I need to read, and peruse it within. Usually, however, I'll plump for a magazine or whatever I'm absorbed in reading at the time.

I know someone whose bathroom used to house every Asterix book, every Tintin book, and several collections of The Far Side.

 

[pomegranate]

I usually don't have time to read on the toilet, if your on the can too long i suggest eating both more vegetables and fruits

This. I only spend a long time poopin if it's while I'm at work... bonus slacking time.

 

[nurizeko]

Like I said, only real men have toilet libraries.

Correction: Only married whipped men without any other space of their own have toilet libraries.



For everyone else its go in, do the business, wash up and leave.

 

[Unfocused]

Nope, if I have to shit and it just... poops. I also never have any pain or struggle which others seem to have. WTF at bathroom grunting. If I have picked up a good book though, I'll sit on the toilet for a while and keep reading.

Seriously this. I go to the toilet when I feel like taking a shit, not when I feel that a shit will come out if I sit on the toilet seat for 5 minutes. Why would I go to the toilet, unless I want to take a dump right now?

 

[nipples]

Sometimes I'll play Rockband while shitting. Fun experience.

 

[Reginald]

Can we get a poll up in this bitch as everyone seems so split?

 

[Darkside55]

Remind me never to read books at you peoples' houses. I find toilet reading not only disgusting (germs all over your books), but also why the hell would you want to sit on a toilet--with shit on your ass--and read? Is that really comfortable to some people?

Just wipe your ass already, wash up, and then go read.

 

[ríomhaire]

QI F annual.

 

[hool10]

The readers here sound like girls.

It's because my anatomy is different that the line to the girls room is so long.

Squat bitch!

 

[Raziaar]

All these books have been flagged! They cannot be returned!

Remind me never to read books at you peoples' houses. I find toilet reading not only disgusting (germs all over your books), but also why the hell would you want to sit on a toilet--with shit on your ass--and read? Is that really comfortable to some people?

Just wipe your ass already, wash up, and then go read.

Germophobe!



But seriously I don't read in the bathroom... as a kid though, the things I used to read were shampoo bottles and stuff. I would anticipate reading the ingredients list and stuff. Lauryl Sulfate and Laureth Sulfate are always on the tip of my mind!

 

[Mech Man]

Dan's dangerous book for boys (some dude humour book my bro gave me) , some gaming mags , Stephen Fry's book of general ignorance and my personal favourite You are what you shite.

Speaking of toilets and reading has any one here tried to read while taking a leak? I did once and dropped the book down the toilet...

 

[StardogChampion]

Seriously this. I go to the toilet when I feel like taking a shit, not when I feel that a shit will come out if I sit on the toilet seat for 5 minutes. Why would I go to the toilet, unless I want to take a dump right now?

Same here. Never in my life have I spent more than 5-10 minutes taking a crap, unless it's some diarrhea skidder that takes one million wipes. I only go when I need.

 

[Warbie]

Edge mags and Terry Pratchett books cover every flat surface in my bathroom. And yes, I have once, after forgetting to buy toilet paper, wiped my arse with the shiney paper from an issue of Edge. It was neither absorbent or flushable!

 

[Iron Kat]

I just read whatever book I'm reading at the time.

 

[G(ordon)-man]

Well, since I'm in the bathroom for a short time I don't do anything.

 

[Rizzo]

Not even poo? :O

 

[CyberPitz]

I use music....I ALWAYS have to have a radio in the bathroom, because I listen to music with just about everything I do in the bathroom. Pee/poop, Brush teeth/shave, shower....

Oddly enough, one of my legs ALWAYS falls asleep when I take extended dumps. Makes me rush more.

*EDIT*

Same here. Never in my life have I spent more than 5-10 minutes taking a crap, unless it's some diarrhea skidder that takes one million wipes. I only go when I need.

Unfortunately, those are my usual wipes, so I'm on there doing the business for a couple minutes, while the wiping requires an extra 5. God damnit.

 

[Ennui]

I only take about 2 minutes including wiping for the average shit, so generally I don't bother taking reading material, but sometimes when I'm in it for the long haul I will. My apartment next year will have my book of trip reports (Tripping: An Anthology of True-Life Psychedelic Adventures) in the bathroom for reading material though.

 

[kineaesth]

I usually just think "is this what buttsex feels like?" when I'm pooping.

It's not.

Also I prefer light reading to anything serious. Try as I might, my concentration is usually elsewhere and it's difficult to read something serious.