Top 100 Fundamentalist quotes

[CptStern]

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!"

:O

"Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is. "

:O

"I appreciate your recommendation, and it is intriguing, but as a pro-lifer, I cannot support an organization that is opposed to the death penalty."

comedy gold

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx

 

[Hazar]

I'm at a loss of words for the gravity one....

 

[Javert]

Highly Polished Mirror Award

"I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it."

 

[Vegeta897]

Reminds me of the Flat Earth Society.

Bad memories of attempting to argue with them

 

[Hazar]

"If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do lol"

 

[Jimmeh]

Highly Polished Mirror Award

"I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it."

On the one hand, the sheer ignorance of some people is hilarious. On the other, it's just plain scary..

 

[Dekstar]

""Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth."

Wow....

 

[co05]

""Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth."

Wow....

That person doesn't deserve a child.

 

[DreamThrall]

reading that site makes me angry.

 

[Remus]

"You got it backwards.

Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.

Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales."

"[Am I in discussion with a human who has a functioning brain?]

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?"

"...

Interestingly, and sadly, all we see on the internet and in society today is talk about domestic violence; but NEVER do we hear anything about statistics on wives who refuse to obey their husbands. It is evil. It is just as sinful for a wife to frustrate her husband through insubordination and disobedience as it is for a man to commit domestic violence. I am not lessening the sin of domestic violence, I am emphasizing the sin of wives who rebel against their husbands by not being obedient. I realize this is ancient mentality to feminists today; but it is 100% Biblical doctrine. A wife is expected by God to obey her husband. Feminists are eagerly willing to crucify abusive husbands; BUT they won't even address the issue of wives who disobey, mistreat, and frustrate their husbands. It takes two to tango.

Please understand that I believe a wife who is being physically abused should leave if she feels threatened; but not divorce. Such a wife needs to sincerely ask herself "why" her husband is being abusive--there's ALWAYS a reason. ..."

""Make sure your answer uses Scripture, not logic.""

:|:|:|:|:|:|

 

[ríomhaire]

"One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted everywhere by everyone. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: Unless there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it."

 

[brink's]

Hilarious...great post.

This is my fav so far

"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"

"I AM here to be my husband's "personal maid" and to be "stuck in the house." I showed plenty of verses that showed that - the 31st chapter of Proverbs! Wives are to be a help meet for their husbands. I consider it a privilege to cook the meals, do the laundry, clean the house, rear the children, pick up clothes he may leave lying around, clean the kitchen counters after he makes a sandwich...... [...]

Yes, women have rights - the right to obey God's Word......."

It's this line of thinking that makes me nervous to announce my atheist believes to my family this summer. They aren't retards like these or anything, and they know I'm no Molly Mormon, but i can only wonder how their perception of me will change once they learn I've fazed our God altogether.

 

[Jimmeh]

That person doesn't deserve a child.

At the bottom of that quote it says that the kid apparently topped himself. There's a link to some oddball christian forum with it, and I just can't really believe the shit I'm reading...

 

[Remus]

"Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist's funeral?

I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human
beings (they're not even human, but only inhuman animals),
since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards
and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their
right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone
chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of
others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?

And what epitaph do you engrave on an Atheist's grave
marker? "Here lies the only good Atheist, which is a
dead Atheist". What else is there say? Nothing at all.
No last words, no last rites, no flowers, no anything.

Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off as
a result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damned
God-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades.

Which begs another related question, do Atheists cry at
funerals? If so, why? Since Atheists hate God, and they
hate Family, and they hate Country, who are they crying
for? It is true: The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist."

:frown:

 

[brink's]

All Aboard! Everyone hop on the Darwinist holocaust train!

Well the everyone grab your ticket! The dark side is going to make it that every man, woman and child has free health care. It's not exactly the same, but for me it brings back images of the jews being led towards the death showers in Germany."

YES yes yes!!
oh god can't stop laughing!!!

 

[Rapstah]

The gravity one - would that make the moon fall into the earth now that the astronauts have defiled it with sin?

 

[Tagaziel]

I want to not believe that this is true D:

 

[Rapstah]

I want to shoot christians. Time to play Medieval II: Total War and eliminate the Papal States as Egypt.

 

[Remus]

""Well my baby boy has been difficult to potty-train. He is past the age that he should be trained and I was getting really tired of it. I would sit him in the toilet for a long time and nothing would happen. When I would put him back in diapers, he would go! And I was sick and tired of it. So I got really mad, sat him in the potty and told him he had to "go". The baby started screaming and I got the idea that it was a demon. So I commanded it to manifest and give me his name. The baby continued screaming and saying: "You can't make me, you can't make me". I insisted in the demon telling me his name, so the Holy Spirit said: "That's his name, "you can't make me". I commanded it out. The baby had deliverance and he has been potty-trained since.""

Honestly WHAT THE ****?!

 

[Rapstah]

Find me a quote that's racist among those and I'll be extremely pissed off.

 

[Remus]

Find me a quote that's racist among those and I'll be extremely pissed off.

Here you go

"Just wait till the United States becomes a CHRISTIAN nation again. We will get rid of public schools, put kids back in church schools the way it was at thye beggining of our nation. Abortion, Homosexuality,new-age mumbo jumbo, False Religions such as Mormons, Jehovahs witnesses, Catholics, Jews, Kawanza, Halloween, Satanic Music, will be all abolished when this nation once again becomes a Christian nation as it was intended. You just wait and see how we deal with filthy muslims then! And in the meantime God steps in every once in awhile like his sending Katrina to wipe out the filthy, debaucherous black communities who refused to repent. They mock God with "Fat Tuesday" a wild sin-fest right before Lent. Thay run around like monkeys, completely in sin, then when they were shipped to dallas, and places like that they made the crime rise considerably. If we were truly Christian we would go down there and shoot the rest of them. Praise God.

[Note: There is a claim that the name used below was posted by an impostor. See the note in the thread from Chris Hallquist.]"

 

[Rapstah]

I'm pissed off. :imu:

EDIT: Wrong smilie >>

 

[co05]

It's sad. Christianity preaches love and acceptance but these Fundamentalists throw that right out the window.

 

[sinkoman]

""Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth."

Wow....

That one made me sick. Her son KILLED himself because of her, and when she cried to the forums about it, they all started supporting her, saying that it was good that she tried to convert him, saying that anybody who told her that it was her fault he killed himself, for not accepting him, and telling him his unchangeable thoughts were bad, was a liar.

That woman deserves to die in a ****ing HOLE.

 

[Geogaddi]

"Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men ****ing eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

I personally can't wait.

 

[Rapstah]

None of those christians seem to understand that people can worship others than God and Satan. :hmph:

 

[ríomhaire]

I found these funny at first but some just fill me with rage.

 

[jverne]

the old romans had a great way of dealing with Christians.

 

[CptStern]

"i have not read all these replies.. but the way i see it with the Big bang is... if the big bang happened, why are we not see lots of life created in Iraq with all the bangs going off there?"

omfg.....

 

[French Ninja]

"Just wait till the United States becomes a CHRISTIAN nation again. We will get rid of public schools, put kids back in church schools the way it was at thye beggining of our nation. Abortion, Homosexuality,new-age mumbo jumbo, False Religions such as Mormons, Jehovahs witnesses, Catholics, Jews, Kawanza, Halloween, Satanic Music, will be all abolished when this nation once again becomes a Christian nation as it was intended. You just wait and see how we deal with filthy muslims then! And in the meantime God steps in every once in awhile like his sending Katrina to wipe out the filthy, debaucherous black communities who refused to repent. They mock God with "Fat Tuesday" a wild sin-fest right before Lent. Thay run around like monkeys, completely in sin, then when they were shipped to dallas, and places like that they made the crime rise considerably. If we were truly Christian we would go down there and shoot the rest of them. Praise God.

Halloween is not a religion.
Halloween is not a religion!
Halloween is not a religion!!!!
D:

 

[Stigmata]

I feel really, really bad for you Americans. Eventually you'll start regressing, and then Canada will have to "liberate" you and blow up your "missile factories"

 

[Que-Ever]

I feel very, very tired.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Hey Dave can I move in with you?

 

[Stigmata]

Once I move out of my mom's house

 

[Que-Ever]

"[On preventing homosexuality in young boys]

[T]he boy's father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son's maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger. [emphasis added]"

oh, ffs.

 

[staticprimer]

The feeling of my brain trying to explode is preventing me from reading more than four of those quotes.

oh ffs

"One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it. [emphasis added]"

and my head just exploded.

 

[Planetary]

I've got a million of these.

 

[Jintor]

I feel like an invasion of a Christian forum with a load of us logical people.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

What are logic.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

what a ****ing joke. These people just cannot except that you do not need god to be a good person. At best their amusing as hell.