Transformers 2 will be a massive piece of crap

Yorick said:
I thought it sucked. So did a ton of other people. Unless you're a fanboy who has wanted to blow Optimus since you were like, 4, it's a pretty established opinion that it was a lousy movie.
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Not only did I never want to blow a giant robot, I never even HEARD of transformers before the movie came out. Maybe I was living under a rock. This was one of the best movies of 2007 imo.
 
Can we all just agree that the Pretenders are an amazing addition to the Transformers fluff?
 
I loved Transformers when I was a kid (6 thousand years ago, bitches), I liked the movie Transformers, and, I liked some of the characters. It wasn't really what I expected, but I didn't really know what to expect.

Glenn, the reason he didn't want to destroy the garden was because he didn't want humans (other than those required) to become aware that they were visiting the planet, where they would obviously begin attacking these robot invaders with weapons of mass destruction and shit.
 
Darkside55 said:
Transformers 2 will be a massive piece of crap.
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pre-requisite response: "and you're surprised because ....?"


is michael bay doing this one? needs more 'splosions. you know, the concept if tweaked a bit could be somewhat interesting:

here's an idea; robots gone amuck!

toasters tired of their masters shoving toast down their gullets revolt going on a kitchen appliance killing spree. Microwaves attack helpless babies, blenders seek out frogs to goo-ify and lawnmowers run over unsuspecting toes. Humanity caught by surprise are running a losing battle against the evil kitchen appliance deceptiontimicons. Salvation comes from a rag tag group of transforming bots who rise up to save humanity; there's the transforming refrigerator: IceTray, transforming garbage disposal; Oscar the Transforming Grouchy Garbage Disposal, and a transforming 8-track player simply known as Obsol33t
 
I liked the first one. Never been into the Transformers. Just thought it was a cool movie.

Then again, I like Short Circuit...
 
There's always a tiny chance he'll manage another film of The Rock's quality.


Tiny.
 
Eejit said:
There's always a tiny chance he'll manage another film of The Rock's quality.


Tiny.
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<stares blankly> the rock is good? <doesnt mean to be rude but finds no other way of saying it without sounding rude even though he likes eejit>



Top Secret said:
I liked the first one. Never been into the Transformers. Just thought it was a cool movie.

Then again, I like Short Circuit...
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I loved short circuit ..transformers is no short circuit
 
The Rock is a great action movie.

Nice action scenes, decent leads (even Cage was on form and he's very variable), and a superb supporting cast - something all great action films have and all poor ones fail to have, credible plot (by action movie standards) and even the script was fine.


His best (and only good) film.
 
ok I get that ..and I've seen the movie twice ..yet I cant remember anything from it ..except an image of sean connery squinting in a bad toupee ..and I always remember the plot to movies. I do remember thinking the action was over the top ..independence day over the top..and I like over the top but not that kind of oer thetop ..El mariachi over the top or Big Trouble in Little China ..but Bay movies? ugh
 
Bad Boys wasn't too bad, but I wouldn't consider it as good.

The Rock was noteable for having characters. Unlike most Bay films which have caricatures.
 
Well, to it's credit, I didn't actually know it was a Bay movie until you mentioned it just now. :p

<3 Ed Harris.
 
Oh yeah, and Bad Boys had Will Smith. The biggest star in Hollywood who's never made a flop.

You pretty much can't go wrong with Will Smith. He's like an upgraded Kurt Russell.
 
I went into Transformers expecting to just watch a movie of massive explosions and fighting, with no story...

I was still bored.
 
Eejit said:
Bad Boys wasn't too bad, but I wouldn't consider it as good.

The Rock was noteable for having characters. Unlike most Bay films which have caricatures.
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good point ..and I do see how it could be enjoyable but imho it was mostly forgettable :E
 
Darkside55 said:
as a pretender.
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A Pretender?
xlarge.jpg
 
anyone ever seen that x-files episode directed by Scully? I think it's the one where she loses her sister ..anyways ..the episode has so many scenes where scully is walking in slow motion towards the camera while a Moby song plays in the background ..this is repeated no shit at least half a dozen times ..it was the most overused cliche in a tv episode ever that was full of cliches. it was just god awful amateurish shlock that any person with even a tiny bit of knowledge of films and film making would spot in an instant ..laughably so <- this is michael bay but with a much larger budget


btw as I wrote this the Pretenders was playing on interwebs radio
 
CptStern said:
anyone ever seen that x-files episode directed by Scully?
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Scully was the character played by Gillian Anderson so it was Gillian directing, not Scully although that is an interesting idea. The episode was in the 7th season called All Things. I can't remember it too well but that Moby BS was certainly out of place.
 
omg I thought scully was her real name ..not dana scully, who is this gillian anderson person? her sister?
 
I loved the first Transformers Movie, it was one of the best films of 1986.
 
You know, if Wall-E manages to be included in the nominees for Best Picture at the Oscars, making it the first ever animated feature to be included in that category, I move that we go back and revisit Transformers '86 to be included in every category.

For now until the end of time.
 
I thought the movie was pretty good. The humor was just a bit off.
 
CyberPitz said:
I went into Transformers expecting to just watch a movie of massive explosions and fighting, with no story...

I was still bored.
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This is ****ing exactly it.

I went into this film with the intention of turning off my brain/good movie taste and came out bored shitless. I'm all for stupidly action-filled or campy films (see 300) but the action in this was pathetic and badly edited/filmed, the time spent with the 2D cardboard cut-out humans (of which there were many) was far too much, the humour was humourous etc etc.

I went into the film expecting giant robots beating the shit out of each other and next to nothing else. Bay couldn't even deliver well on that account.

EDIT: I practically re-iterated what was said, and not in a good way.
 
I don't think anybody who didn't already like Transformers couldn't enjoy the movie, whether you had low expectations or not. I honestly don't believe it could be entertaining to anyone else. Not even children.
 
I ****ing LIKED Transformers as a child. I still think it sucked.
 
You idolized Transformers as a kid and you seriously think it sucked when you saw Optimus Prime's transformation? REALLY?

You idolized Transformers as a kid and you think it sucked when Starscream and Megatron had their dialogue, when Starscream betrayed Megatron, that whole fight between Prime and Megatron where 70% of the dialogue was taken straight from their last battle in the '86 movie?

You idolized Transformers and you think it sucked when Blackout first transformed and made the iconic noise? Bumblebee smashing his original VW Bug form? The fight between Bumblebee and Barricade where they're both transforming back and forth from their altmodes? The dramatic score as the Autobot protoforms fell to Earth? Megatron's declaration to the humans? The homage to the Kup vs. Blitzwing fight in the city? Optimus Prime's sword? Megatron's mace hand?

You idolized Transformers and you think all that sucked? Dude I don't think you idolized Transformers. Maybe you...liked...Transformers. Maybe you tuned in to Transformers. I don't think you idolized Transformers. I was at the premiere in LA a week before the movie was released to the public, sitting front row in front of three balconies full of people who'd been lined up all the way down downtown Long Beach. They brought the film reel out of an armored truck. Myself, and all those people in there, were goddamned RIOTOUS during those scenes that I described.

One of the promoters who'd brought the film in threatened to take it away if we didn't stop cheering so loud, at which she almost got rolled. ROLLED. I incited three floors of people to scream out, "HAIL MIGHTY MEGATRON" when he was defrosted. Dude, that movie didn't suck. That movie was fucking balls-out awesome. Now, I'm not the kind of guy who'd be such an uber-elite nerd to tell you, "Oh if you didn't think this you're not a true Transformers fan," but man...you might LIKE Transformers but there's no way that you idolized them as a child and did not cry when Optimus Prime first transformed on screen. There is just no way. Everyone I could see in the theater at that moment was crying like a bitch. Like a BITCH. At the end of the movie that theater exploded in the most thunderous applause I have ever been a part of in any event, not just movies. The damned Episode Three SW-nerd-filled premiere didn't even get such an uproar, and I was there camped out for that one too.

The only people who watched Transformers when they were young and did NOT like this movie are OMG IT'S NOT GEEWUN fans, or casual viewers of the TV show. The latter isn't bad and I bear them no ill-will. The former should probably go crawl into a hole somewhere, craddling their SKYLINX figure, and just die.
 
You idolized Transformers as a kid and you seriously think it sucked when you saw Optimus Prime's transformation? REALLY?

You idolized Transformers as a kid and you think it sucked when Starscream and Megatron had their dialogue, when Starscream betrayed Megatron, that whole fight between Prime and Megatron where 70% of the dialogue was taken straight from their last battle in the '86 movie?

You idolized Transformers and you think it sucked when Blackout first transformed and made the iconic noise? Bumblebee smashing his original VW Bug form? The fight between Bumblebee and Barricade where they're both transforming back and forth from their altmodes? The dramatic score as the Autobot protoforms fell to Earth? Megatron's declaration to the humans? The homage to the Kup vs. Blitzwing fight in the city? Optimus Prime's sword? Megatron's mace hand?
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Congratulations. You've named everyhting good about the film. Thing is, that stuff makes up a small portion of the film, the rest of which is terrible.
 
Look darkseid, as a hardcore Transformers fan you must admit that it could have been a lot better. Now extrapolate the percentage of potential awesomeness it has for you to how other people will see it.
 
I don't know why but I don't mind the rest of the film. I really don't. Sleazy car salesmen, oddball government agents, donut-scarfing hackers cracking an alien code...man, I don't care about any of that shit. I had to deal with Chip Chase and Dr. Arkeville. Nothing will be stupider than the Transformers going to King Arthur's court, and no character--human or otherwise--could ever be as rage-inducing as Warpath. I watched the third season, damn it.

I think I'm completely inured to the shit that was in the live action movie because the shit in the cartoon (sans the movie, which was a masterpiece unequaled by any other human or divine work) was far and away worse. The movie by comparison was classic theater. So I really can't imagine it being any better, simply because it could've been so much worse, and it wasn't.

But the next one will, because goddamned PRETENDERS. Oh my God, why're they doing this?!

...Also, I just opened up Seibertron.com in another tab checking to see if there was any further news of this Pretender bullshit, and I was greeted with a picture of Classics Warpath, next to Classics Cosmos, next to a shitty Rodimus and an okay-looking Wheelie. Now I'm really raging. Holy ****, THAT'S how this movie could be worse: putting Warpath in there.

Goddamn, I think I'm actually slightly relieved that the bullshit that will destroy this movie is the Pretender, because if Warpath was in the movie...I think I'd rage so hard I'd go super saiyan.
 
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