Uwe Boll creates another masterpiece

[CptStern]

BloodRayne reviews:

New York Daily News: "Boll is the best at what he does, and what he does is make truly terrible films."

Seattle Times: "You don't know the meaning of pain!" our heroine hisses at one point. Oh, honey, believe us, we do."

Austin Chronicle: "I’m not sure what Boll sees when he looks through the director’s lens while filming each of his pictures, but I’m certain it’s something different than what the rest of us."

"Michigan Daily: "The third straight game-to-screen atrocity from German director Uwe Boll. This is the type of film that studios push toward dead months like January with the tact of a landlord sweeping rats under the fridge."


it's officially a bomb:

"Additionally, the video game-inspired "BloodRayne" earned about $1 million for its independent distributor, Romar Entertainment, according to a rival studio."


that's a terrible opening weekend


how could someone who has a doctorate in Literature (he can call himself "Dr Boll") create such utter dreck?

 

[Kamikazie]

New York Daily News: "Boll is the best at what he does, and what he does is make truly terrible films."

OMFG, thats the best insult i have heard in a long time...

 

[JNightshade]

I am so unsurprised. Boll is the master of all things awful.

 

[CptStern]

yes
http://www.actiontrip.com/comics/strip.phtml?pic=jakejusticetheresurrectionofevil

 

[Kamikazie]

yes
http://www.actiontrip.com/comics/strip.phtml?pic=jakejusticetheresurrectionofevil

.......
whew, that was another good laugh

 

[Shodan]

Why doesn't he give up?

Perhaps this will give him a big enough hint.

 

[CptStern]

hehe dont shoot me, but apparently he's been approached to do ...Metal Gear Solid

/me runs

 

[JellyWorld]

hehe dont shoot me, but apparently he's been approached to do ...Metal Gear Solid

/me runs

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[CptStern]

sorry

http://www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=60555

 

[Dekstar]

sorry

http://www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=60555

there it says that he wants to do it, but that Hideo is very protective of MGS.

*Puts the knives away*

 

[Ren.182]

hehe dont shoot me, but apparently he's been approached to do ...Metal Gear Solid

/me runs

SNAKE!!!! SNAKE!!! SNNNAAAAAKKKKKEEEEE!!

D:
Please don't say he's going to make it... PLEASE!

 

[Asknoone]

Haha, Bloodrayne sucked. Suprise. Not.

He won't get Metal Gear.

 

[OvA]

Oh, Hideo, say it ain't so.

PS: Boll makes his money through a loophole in German tax law, allowing him to profit from a crappy movie.

 

[Dalamari]

Tarantino will direct a remake of The Last Temptation of Christ before Boll gets to direct MGS

 

[CptStern]

Tarantino will direct a remake of The Last Temptation of Christ before Boll gets to direct MGS

not so sure about that:

Dr. Boll: Now people are coming to me with metal gear solid. They wrote a script, and Konami basically paid these people to write it. And I hope that Metal Gear Solid will be working.

Hunter Daniels : Do you want to do make Metal Gear Solid?

Dr. Boll: yea, absolutely. And especially with the Doom situation. I think we could do it a lot better…its one of the top five of all time.

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/index.php?Show=5550&Template=newsfull

 

[Yuri]

Why isn't this in Films and TV?

Poor Uwe Boll. No one understands him. All he wants is to make money.

 

[OvA]

Why isn't this in Films and TV?

Poor Uwe Boll. No one understands him. All he wants is to make money.

Agreed. If I were in his position I would be doing the exact same thing.

 

[DEATH eVADER]

I bet Valve where willing to have a movie of Half-Life, but the only director that came there way was Uwe Boll, hence the reason Valve ran-for-the-hills, whilst the Gordon look-a-like knocked Uwe unconsious, with his iconic crowbar

 

[Shodan]

Boll can't make MGS, he'd ruin it...

I hate him so much, why does he persist in doing this? why do people let him have the licenses?

 

[Asknoone]

He blames the dislike towards his movies on 'Dumb audiences'

 

[Yuri]

Boll can't make MGS, he'd ruin it...

I hate him so much, why does he persist in doing this? why do people let him have the licenses?

Money.

 

[TheAmazingRando]

Kurt Russell dissapproves of Uwe Boll.

 

[Que-Ever]

Agreed. If I were in his position I would be doing the exact same thing.

BS. Isn't he doing the same thing as in "the producers"?

sorry, misquoted. anyway...

 

[Absinthe]

I would love to see Uwe Boll take on MGS just so I could watch the fanboys writhe and foam.

 

[el Chi]

Now people are coming to me with metal gear solid.

Why? Why would people do that? I'm not especially a fan of MGS, but surely it'd be obvious that:
a) It would be dreadful
b) It would do pretty badly as a result
c) It would severely piss off aaaaallllllll the audience, especially their original fans...

Like, what?

He blames the dislike towards his movies on 'Dumb audiences'

What? You're only allowed to say that as a director if you've created something pretentious. Amateur.

 

[TheSomeone]

how could someone who has a doctorate in Literature (he can call himself "Dr Boll") create such utter dreck?

That might be the problem...

 

[Absinthe]

I wouldn't worry about it. Chances are he's lying out of his ass.

There's a reason Boll only secures the rights to lesser-known/regarded titles: the big guys wouldn't let him touch their material with a ten-foot pole.

 

[DeusExMachina]

Yeah, Hideo would never allow Boll to touch his franchise. Hell, I'm pretty sure he stated in an article "there's no chance in hell that man would ever touch it," or something along those lines...

 

[Yuri]

Isn't he doing the same thing as in "the producers"?

No, what they did was steal. He is making shit, cheap movies with nobody actors, seemingly very quickly, to make money. He doesn't even have to hire a screenwriter with his/her own ideas cuz he is using the simple and easily transformable plots of video games. He knows that if its out in all theaters, someone is going to see it. I know I see movies that don't look particularly good because they are the only thing playing.

I would love to see Uwe Boll take on MGS just so I could watch the fanboys writhe and foam.

Now that's entertainment.

 

[bam23]

Where's Chuck Norris when you need him?

 

[dream431ca]

It's mostly the movie companies fault for actually allowing him to get these movies on to the screen. The people are getting pretty mad that these guy is still making movies...hollywood is offically corrupt and should be Nuked...at least nuke the company that allowed him to put this abomination on the screen....this is insane and should be stopped.

 

[Jintor]

Man, why couldn't he direct the Halo movie instead?

 

[JNightshade]

At first I was pissed when I found out he was doing Far Cry, but then I realized: the entire game revolves around graphics, gameplay, environments, and AI. The story is absolute trash. Without the gameplay, it'll just be another crappy movie- no harm done.

 

[OCybrManO]

Yeah, I always thought Uwe Boll would be a perfect match for a Far Cry movie.

 

[CyberPitz]

I hope Postal comes out good...because The game was ****ing badass.

"Just sign the damn petition, I've got shit to do."

<3

 

[Raziaar]

That german tax law thing doesn't affect him? Isn't it already in effect?

 

[Jintor]

I resaw Resident Evil: Apocolypse just a couple of minutes earlier (on showtime, while i was playing CoV). Man, it was so lame, and crap... uhhhh.

 

[Cormeh]

Surely the question is, if these movies are so bad, and cost so much - How is it possible for more dross to be financed, produced and released?

Who watches this kind of stuff?

 

[Lucid]

I hope Postal comes out good...because The game was ****ing badass.

"Just sign the damn petition, I've got shit to do."

<3

Postal movie? Go watch Falling Down.

 

[nutcrackr]

I really really really hopes he stops making this crap, no game movie is far better than a crap one. :/