We lost another one, RIP Operational

I remember him. Used to agree with pretty much everything he said. I never really knew him or spoke to him, but still, this is just ****ing terrible. Is it just me, or is it always the smart, funny, likeable ones that kill themselves?
 
I don't really remember him that well nor did I know him, but reading the original post made me feel really sad. It's terrible when something such as this happens and my condolences to his friends and family as I know it's horrible to lose someone close to you.

R.I.P.
 
I remember him well from many HL and Portal discussions, also his funny avatar always made me smile. He will be missed. :(
 
How very sad.

He was part of our little Starcraft group... seems surreal that he's gone. ;(
 
I wish I could say I knew him more than his avatar, but I don't. It hits me hard to know that such a regular poster will be gone forever, and will never make a post again.

Hopefully he is in a better place. My condolences.
 
I'll just post what I put on Pitzy's FB post:

Goddamn, I remember playing SC1 with him and you and Tav. Holy shit I remember how he'd tolerate me sucking ass at Terran and trying to understand it and he always let me try to learn more and get used to the game without getting mad. Oh god :'(

It's indeed very troubling that he chose to end his life but I hope that he doesn't regret this decision at least... we definitely need to have some SC2 matches to honour him when the game comes out

<3<3<3Operational, RIP
 
I'm not really 'in' with anyone here, but this still sucks. Operational was a consistently intelligent poster who will certainly be missed.
 
A new day has come since I found out the news, and it's different in a way. I feel almost in denial, kind of like I did with bvasgm's death. It almost doesn't feel real, because to me hl2.net almost has sort of an eternal feeling, and the members as well. It's a new kind of terrible emotion I'm feeling right now.
 
Horrible, terrible news. I don't really know what to say, I never really engaged with him much on these forums but his posts were always a pleasure to read and he was a great contributor, he will be sorely missed.

I just hope that other members can take this thead as a sign that no matter what trouble they are in, people on here are willing to help.

This has made me very sad, we have such a great community and then things like this really make you realise how great it is that people, who communicate by text over years feel so strongly about each other.

RIP
 
Solaris said:
I just hope that other members can take this thread as a sign that no matter what trouble they are in, people on here are willing to help.
Click to expand...
I was thinking something like this.

I hope other members (especially those going through a tough time and may feel alone), can realize that people do appreciate them greatly and want them around, even if it's never said, or even if it may not seem like it some times.
 
I only very rarely saw his posts around HL2.net, but regardless, truly a tragedy. Rest in peace man.
 
I'd go as far as to say that Operational was one of the most coherent posters here and in Solaris's words, his posts were a pleasure to read.
 
I don't want to dedicate a thread to this and make it a huge production, so I'll just put it here:

I've been feeling massively suicidal the past week or so. I all but deleted my Facebook and Steam profiles, and considered throwing everything I own into the river, after which I guess I would be putting myself in the river as well. I'm not going to go through with it, and I'm seeing a therapist on Monday. Until then I'm going to whittle away the remainder of the weekend with TF2, cinnamon toast crunch, darkness, and sleep.
 
Stigmata said:
I don't want to dedicate a thread to this and make it a huge production, so I'll just put it here:

I've been feeling massively suicidal the past week or so. I all but deleted my Facebook and Steam profiles, and considered throwing everything I own into the river, after which I guess I would be putting myself in the river as well. I'm not going to go through with it, and I'm seeing a therapist on Monday. Until then I'm going to whittle away the remainder of the weekend with TF2, cinnamon toast crunch, darkness, and sleep.
Click to expand...

I know you've probably heard this before, but you're not gaining anything by committing suicide. Whenever you feel like this, just remember that there's always something to live for, no matter what. These may seem like small words coming from me, but just remember this. You would be missed by everyone here if you do this.
 
Stigmata said:
I don't want to dedicate a thread to this and make it a huge production, so I'll just put it here:

I've been feeling massively suicidal the past week or so. I all but deleted my Facebook and Steam profiles, and considered throwing everything I own into the river, after which I guess I would be putting myself in the river as well. I'm not going to go through with it, and I'm seeing a therapist on Monday. Until then I'm going to whittle away the remainder of the weekend with TF2, cinnamon toast crunch, darkness, and sleep.
Click to expand...

I just want you to know that I appreciate you being around. You're one of my favorite people in the world.

I'll blame myself if you kill yourself. You don't want me to feel sad for the rest of my life do you? Maybe I'll kill myself because I feel I didn't try hard enough to stop you.

Think about it.
 
Stigmata said:
I don't want to dedicate a thread to this and make it a huge production, so I'll just put it here:

I've been feeling massively suicidal the past week or so. I all but deleted my Facebook and Steam profiles, and considered throwing everything I own into the river, after which I guess I would be putting myself in the river as well. I'm not going to go through with it, and I'm seeing a therapist on Monday. Until then I'm going to whittle away the remainder of the weekend with TF2, cinnamon toast crunch, darkness, and sleep.
Click to expand...

Hey bro, you know we're always here for you. I always try to make myself available to talk with you, as we have in the past. I'm sure others will as well, and it'd be a good thing to talk to those people as well since I know I'm too boring to hold anybody's interest for too long.

I love you Stig, and I hope you always make the best decision to sit down, reach out to some of us here on HL2.net, as well as in your real life, and work yourself out of those thoughts.

I've gone through many stages myself where I've felt really low down, depressed and suicidal, moments where I've tried to block out all contact with everybody around me. It's difficult for me to talk about emotional things with my family, because I just about can't do it unless it's through e-mail or instant messaging or something. Funny how that is, but I can't express myself emotionally in real life... I just stay quiet. I always find myself getting through those moments of downers though, and realizing that A: I'm too much of a pussy to end up doing it anyway, and B: They're just thoughts, things I can work past, and overcome. There's always something better out there, even for someone as fairly pathetic as myself.

Those thoughts are a very difficult thing to live with. Mine have sort of morphed from feelings about myself, to worrying about the world around me. My family, my friends. I can't go one second of the day without having my head completely filled with morbid, terrible thoughts. I work past it every day though, often because I have to, but also because I really do love life. I believe mine stems from the fact that my mother is bipolar, and I carry on those genetic traits, and for all I know what you feel, the seriousness of your situation is far worse than mine on a mental level, but I know if I can work past it, you're definitely strong enough to.

So make that effort, reach out and connect with us here on halflife2.net. I know there's a negative stigma to the whole "helplife2.net", and I've faced my fair share of the backlash on here(resulting in no more threads on the matter by myself), but I feel that there shouldn't be anything negative about it, since I'm certainly all about the bond and friendship we all share here, and I believe there are others as well.
 
Every time I feel suicidal, I hope I remember to try this: get in a car, and drive to a beach. Sell the car, and start my life there. Sleep under a dock if I have to. Get a job and relax on the beach on weekends. A little excitement never killed anyone [with a strong heart].

Because what we all want is stability; but maybe when we don't have it, just throw it all in the wind and try for the opposite. Complete instability has got to be really interesting.

I've been thinking of driving 3,000 miles to California and don't stop until my car is in the ocean.
 
I'm probably not the only one who feels somewhat guilty. I never paid that much attention to Operational. Naturally I noticed him as an intelligent poster with a sharp sense of humour and a great avatar, but, regrettably, not much more. And now I get that internet death paradox with full force: all too often, you only come to be properly aware that there's a real person on the other end of the wires at the very moment that they utterly vanish. Great!

But this thread shows that plenty of us didn't need to be reminded: someone remembered and knew and cared. Maybe it didn't mean much in the end. But maybe one one day one of you will save someone's life, or maybe already did.

RIP Operational, and all the best to any friends that are reading. To you too, Stig.
 
That's terrible news. I remember him and his hypnotoad avatar too. Although I remember many of his posts, we never had any direct conversations or played online together.

I beg to know why would anyone want to do such a thing to themselves. My life isn't all that great right either tbh, but then again I never lost anyone exceptionally close to me, so I wouldn't know how I would handle it.
 
Dr.Demento said:
I beg to know why would anyone want to do such a thing to themselves. My life isn't all that great right either tbh, but then again I never lost anyone exceptionally close to me, so I wouldn't know how I would handle it.
Click to expand...

I have it on very good authority that knowing doesn't help. If you have never been suicidal, you simply can't get it. But since you asked, the reason why someone would do this is because the pain and suffering they are in is so great that death seems preferable. That living one more day with what you are dealing with is too horrible to bear.

Yeah, it didn't help me, either. :(
 
I always enjoyed your posts Op. Whenever I detect a nuclear launch, I'll be thinking of you man.
 
I'm sure he would be happy to know so many people cared about him, and I'm sure he does know that now, wherever he is.
 
Oh my god, I've been to Menzies Creek, it's not too far from here.

I can't say I knew him, but this is truly sad news.

R.I.P Operational.
 
Every time I see this thread it still seems weird... I never knew the guy that well, but realising he'll never post here again...

:(
 
No idea but his friends know about hl2.net now. I don't see how it could be anyone other than one of his friends.
 
Maybe he was left signed in (I never log out) and someone got on HL2.net.
 
The same thing happened with bvasgm. His activity went up after we found out the news.
 
You guys all posted messages on his profile which gives emails alerts, I assume that whoever picked up his email account from his family has seen all the activity from this site and followed the links.
 
Slightly off topic, but could we have Borgasm stickied again?
 
taviow said:
No idea but his friends know about hl2.net now. I don't see how it could be anyone other than one of his friends.
Click to expand...

Actually, it might have been his mother - I told his mother about this thread last night over the phone. He was probably still logged into his account on his machine, so when she checked out the link I sent, it must have taken her directly in on Operational's login. The timing's about right too - about an hour or so after I finished talking to her on the phone.
 
Thanks, makes sense.

This is really sad, for some reason it didn't really hit me before, it is now. I didn't have any connection to him personally but I remember his posts here and I saw him no different than the rest of you, we are all just random people from every background imaginable that found this place by accident and learned that we all enjoyed the type of discussions that take place here, a very odd little community but a community non the less.

You only get one life, don't any of you **** it up this way. Technically I can only speak for myself but I'm sure I speak for everyone here, we are all here for eachother no matter what our backgrounds or beliefs happen to be. No matter how gay that might sound, we're all friends here.
 
I completely missed this topic, only found out by seeing taviow's signature. I didn't know him well but he has been here for a long time and remember a lot of his posts of which were enlightening, will be very sad not to see his avatar pop up here and there with another post. So many attempt suicide and sometimes as in this case succeed without fully knowing the amount of people who care for them and the amount of people they would devastate if they were to end their lives. Its a massive shame, he shall be missed.
 
God Damnit, i actually liked him.

Im finally back after a month of vacation and the first thing i read is this. God damnit if any one of you ****ers commit suicide il beat you up in hell, whenever my time comes. Its important to know that even though you are all screen names and avatars, you assholes still mean a lot to me. You guys are more important to each other than you think. Some of us has been here since 2003-2004, thats freaking SEVEN YEARS, its IMPOSSIBLE not to get personal after that long. Il stick to this forum till the day that i die. I wonder which one of us will live the longest.
 
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