weak handshake

You're so dumb you're all but drooling.

I think it's pretty silly how much value we all attach to strength of handshake. It doesn't really make much sense when you think about it. Obviously I do still try to grip as hard as I can without being actually crushing. Usually it's easy to avoid that because I am a wimp.
 
I hate handshakes that feel like someone just laid a slightly moist, warm dead fish in the palm of your hand.
 
Dog-- said:
This makes no sense. You were trying to say shaking of hands disappeared from our culture, but really look at what you said.. It has done everything BUT disappear. That's another one of those "I could care less" things that bugs me.
Click to expand...

Dog-- why are you so ****ing stupid?
 
Yeah, pussy handshakes are awkward. Usually because they come from people I don't expect. I go into the meet with high hopes for the person, then they give a limp handshake and I can't tell if I can trust them with any sort of masculine task, which makes me distrustful of them.

Also, I don't brofist. Nothing says "Respect me less" than a brofist. I mean, besides a weak handshake obviously. As many people have found out, I will never brofist with someone. It tends to have the adverse effect of making everyone try and trick me into it, but it has never worked except for one time when I was drunk. But they might have made that up because I don't remember it.
 
That's stupid, Krynn. Though not as stupid as Dog--.
 
God dammit Danimal now you just trolling.

Krynn72 said:
Also, I don't brofist. Nothing says "Respect me less" than a brofist. I mean, besides a weak handshake obviously. As many people have found out, I will never brofist with someone. It tends to have the adverse effect of making everyone try and trick me into it, but it has never worked except for one time when I was drunk. But they might have made that up because I don't remember it.
Click to expand...

What if they punch your hand so hard they break your fingers? That's pretty manly.
 
after a weak handshake i usually use this:

dG8-6.JPG


I can't have that shit get on my hands!! Weak handshakes are contagious unless dealt with immediately.
 
I used to have a limp-wristed shake, then someone told me it was a sign of confidence and authority to have a strong shake (I had never picked up on this before), so I just started endeavoring to match everyone's grip. Since then I've had a bunch of compliments about it when greeting new people, but in all honesty I'm awkward as hell and just do it to make a good first impression. >_>
 
Krynn72 said:
Also, I don't brofist. Nothing says "Respect me less" than a brofist.
Click to expand...
"Respect me less"
Click to expand...
brofist
Click to expand...
BUT THE BROFIST WAS ORIGINALLY KNOWN AS RESPECT KNUCKLES

IT'S IN THE GODDAMN NAME

IF YOU BROFIST IT'S A SIGN OF RESPECT

5lp9qa.jpg


YOU STUPID DOG YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE BROFIST

YOU CAN'T EVEN CURL YOUR PAW INTO THE NECESSARY SHAPE
 
I hate weak handshakers. Every time someone limply shakes my hand, I think how pathetic it is.

But then theres the other side of the coin, where you dont expect a strong handshake. My newly aquainted grandad for example is pushing mid 80s, and he has one of the strongest hand shakes Ive ever recieved.

It was like a pure thunder grip, and I had to squeeze harder to keep my ego in check.
 
my brother and i will shake hands for about a minute. he usually wins but his thunder grip is because hes an electrician, works in the extreme cold and is generally a much more angry person if you piss him off. Also the best handshakes came from my Great Uncle, he'd keep shaking your hand even after the conversation ended, but if you let go you couldn't say 'Goodbye' just 'So-long"

also when shaking hands with a female, do you go for the firm grip, hard handshake or the kiss on the hand??
 
To shake hands with a female is against the law of Allah.
 
I only recall one weak handshake - it was a guy we were interviewing for a job, and it's exactly what you'd expect a zombie handshake to be like... cold and limp, but not the same kind of limp that you can mimic by leaving your hand hanging weightless; there was just enough control to let you know the nerves were working at some rudimentary level. It was the equivalent of looking at a doll at the depths of uncanny valley. For the record, his hand is otherwise fully functional.

Weak handshakes are fine - that's how some people roll, but this guy's handshake actually gave me the creeps.
 
Bro I'd expect a zombie handshake to end in him trying to pull you closer and devour your brains, or his arm coming off.
 
Warped said:
after a weak handshake i usually use this:

dG8-6.JPG


I can't have that shit get on my hands!! Weak handshakes are contagious unless dealt with immediately.
Click to expand...
I agree with Warped for once. Weak handshakes are so ****ing disgusting you just shudder and want to cut off your hand.
 
I dislike weak handshakes, but the opposite extreme is also just as unappleaing.

Some people seem to hear this notion that "A strong handshake gives people the impression that you're reliable, to be respected, and have a large penis"
Now I'd say that people with big penises are pretty unreliable.
Ha Ha, you can't trust me to do anything...

¬_¬


Anyway, the point is, they interpret "strong handsake" or "firm grip" as "CRUSH WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT".

It might not be offputting in the sense that holding a limp hand is like holding a limp penis, but it is pretty disrespectful and annoying. Such a daft display of strength shows just as much a lack of confidence or thought as does a limp one.

I agree with Sulk that we attach too much importance to handshakes. At the same time, I also say it is physically just unpleasant holding a limp hand or having your hand crushed. It does say something about the person when they do either of these things.

This was my opinion. There we go.
 
If I have to choose, I'd rather get my hand crushed than to hold someone's limb hand.
 
Subtle troll: this thread was actually about handjobs.

From men.
 
I hate the dead fish, but I dont like getting my hand mangled either. A good shake is simply a firm grasp of the other person's hand, letting them know "hey, watsup? we're equals and we can work together". I have a buddy who, when shaking hands, comes in from the side and shakes. It makes you feel like you're shaking hands with someone from a 1920's silent film...








...It's a goddam experience
 
Pretty much always manshakes with friends, but for strangers or people older than myself its a good firm handshake.
 
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