What are some of the most random things you've heard?

Qonfused

Qonfused

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Like today in Journalism class, this girl brought in her digital camera and was taking quick movies of the class. One kid came up to her, took her lip gloss and told her to smell it (all in fun, as odd as it sounds). Well, then an idea sprang and he went to his desk and got ready. The video went like this:

"So, Mark, why are you mad at me?"

"BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T SMELL THE LIP GLOSS!"

The line itself wasn't all that funny unless you knew him but his "Acting" was hilarious. I made a .gif of it.

mark5nd.gif


I guess you had to be there because it was so hilarious.

So, what are some random, funny things you've heard over the years?
 
Ummmm, yes that is one of those things were you need to be there.

Often the funniest things are momments between people rather than a said joke etc.
 
"I searched for 'Penis shaped food' in google and clicked I'm feeling lucky. Gay food fetish porno is not as cool as it would seem." - Marcopolo
 
Me and my friends were talking about accidental pregnancy and one of my buddies said "Dude, just use a false name".

Pretty stupid, but we laughed at it for hours while he stood there wondering what the hell was so funny.
 
"I fry mine in butter!!"

Very strange. No idea of what was going on.
 
I laughed my ass off today when my friend told me and another friend that we needed to buy the pizza because "Dude, I'm ****in' smoking you guys out" and so we at least owe him that much.

My teacher heard and stared at him for a while, so he replied "oh, it's slang. Don't even ask what it means."

I laughed a lot.

This is the same class where I put tubg*rl (its censored here) on the projector.
 
I asked my Dad if we had any ice-cream left and he said "Because I told you I let the dogs out already", I don't know if this was random, maybe he didn't hear me right, he wasn't talking to anyone else because it was just me and him in the house that night, it was funny.
 
Ennui said:
This is the same class where I put tubg*rl (its censored here) on the projector.
Click to expand...

:O

What happened after you did?
 
Oh, and at work today, I said, "And then you find yourself masturbating over the corpse." *mimes masturbating over a corpse*

I'm sure it was the most random thing my manager has heard.

Trivia: I accidently originally posted that reply in the "New Buddha thread." Whoops. Quick editing on my part.
 
She yelled at me and told me to take it down.

See, I had been talking about tubg*rl the day before (tricking people into seeing it, as well as **********) and so she went home (my 50 year old female teacher) and searched for them >.<

She was not amused but she couldn't do anything because I warned her. She then helped us trick another teacher into seeing it.

Oh, what fun.
 
Ennui said:
She yelled at me and told me to take it down.

See, I had been talking about tubg*rl the day before (tricking people into seeing it, as well as **********) and so she went home (my 50 year old female teacher) and searched for them >.<

She was not amused but she couldn't do anything because I warned her. She then helped us trick another teacher into seeing it.

Oh, what fun.
Click to expand...

Interesting...

What's the big blanked out thing?
 
Hey guys, according to bitchionary.com, that shit is not even the random of ness at all. Random, is goddamn truly insane and deserves no less than speak of the ugly faced devil. You stupid unedumactioned people need to primitively undastand that unless it is a crazy chaotic sequence of unpredictable events, it ain't random. The random you're using is another lame definition used by damn 16 year old popularity freaky homo myspaciens drama queen Valley girls who try to validate their copy cat existence while all the time flirting with the 40 year old maths professor. That shit is not random, those people are not random. HEY FELLOW FAT FRIEND WHO MAKES ME LOOK HOTTER, GUESS WHAT I DID? WHAT?!?!?!? ^_______________^ <- FATNESS NOT TO SCALE. ROOOOOOOARRRRR!!!! LOLOLOLOLL DAT WUZ SO FUNNAH HOW U MAKE LIKE LION SO RANDOM KEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKKEEEEZERGRUSH!!!! WATCH ME GO KING KONG!!! ME BEAT FLABBY BREASTS MADE OF FAT. Hey, guess what, by your shitty definition, we all are ****ing random cuz u c, we gots the electrons in their probability clouds in the atoms of our body, going **** knows where, teleporting NNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH where the **** they want to go. You see, my crrrwaazzzzyy waaaaahhhhhdom electrons in my damn body could all be whizzing around at Mars! Or better ****ing yet, inside that stupid ditzy journalism class girl's gaping sperm dumpster POUNDING THAT SHIT TO HELL WITH A TEN THOUSAND PERCENT OF ORGASM.
 
Oh man, tis these sort of threads where I just get overwhelmed trying to think of which to select and post, where to start even...
 
The Real Question is...... How Does Shen's Type in a Straight-Jacket?
 
If you don't give me any information, I'll put you through a fax machine and turn you into information.
 
Murray_H said:
If you don't give me any information, I'll put you through a fax machine and turn you into information.
Click to expand...
7a6e761860be6f4af3368f3333621a56.png


1nf0rm4710n!
 
Yesterday while mu friend and I were heading down to sport, there was this girl just standing in front of us. When we passed her she screamed at my friend "YOU'RE GROPING ME!!!!!!!!!" My friend and I were like wtf?
 
Just heard this one from my 18 year old cousin.

"Dude, you haven't bowled since the 80's"
 
AmishSlayer said:
"Dude, you haven't bowled since the 80's"
Click to expand...

Hearing something like that, coming out of nowhere, would bust me up.
 
it was random, and shocking, when tonight i went to put the movie in the player, but i ejected the VHS player instead of the DVD player and out popped "tell it to the ass". My friend is gay, and i was in front of like 6 people, so it was a true test of my abilities. I just calmly put the vhs back in, and put it in the dvd player, but when i got back to the couch i just cracked up and nobody knew why except for him. I guess he and his boyfriend forgot to put it up.
 
Do this at work all the time..
"And then the priest said, 'No! It was TWO nuns!'"
and
"Insert the glass poll into your shaft, and slam it with the hammer!"

People get sooo confused.
 
The most random things I have heard this week...

I passed by one of my friends, but I didn't notice her and she says, "Hey, ANDY!" I glance at her and then she does some little gay dance making an "L" with her index and thumb while saying, "Loser".
 
The most random thing I've seen was here on a thread about Half-Life 2 and someone posted The Wright Brothers t'was so random.
 
Once I was walking past some year sevens (youngest year in high school) and the only part of their conversation I caught was "and then she started licking her feet!"
 
i read a sign that said: "Warning: Communists"

And the random thing that I've heard today: "HEY YOU! *insert inappropariate word here thats a synonym to mother****ingsob*" by a 9th grader.
 
Some guy ran into a wall yesterday, he seriously looked as if he didn't know it was there.

Some guy i've never met before came up to me and laughed at me, a was baffled why, then he said 'this guys penis is as big as an ice cream van and produces as much cream' I cracked up, i'd never heard that before, and neither did understand why he said it to me. Mistaken identity it seems :O

After all i'm not short recoil
 
When someone at work picked up the phone at the end of the day, and said to the other guy, "Oh sorry mate, are you shooting off?"
 
Most things I hear joule say while I'm not 100% listening to him sound random... like while he's watching me post this...

"most things in my life are random... ha ha ha..."

Also, I walked into one of my friend's houses and the first thing I heard her say was, "lick it some more and it'll taste better after a while." Random!
 
Most things Shens say are quite random.
But aweshens.

Me and my friends were talking about math, and then another one of my friends just jumped into the conversation and said "Yeah, but she's got HUGE tits!"

We're all like, "omg wtf" :p
 
Random stuf i've heard and said..uhm.. damn there's a lot.. well.. okay

¨Thats canon¨
¨i dont ride before the horse is shot¨
¨i think you are teh wierd one¨
¨Yes nemlig yes¨

Wel.. thats about it.
¨lets all put 3 books in a magazine of butter¨...
 
This isn't really a random thing I've heard, but something random and stupid that I've done. I had accidentally turned off my alarm clock (who the hell puts the snooze button right by the off button?) so my dad comes in later to wake me up. I grab the remote to the TV, hold it like a phone, and say "Hello?", and I waited for an answer... At the time, I knew what I was doing (talking to the TV remote) but I thought it made sense.
 
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