What' s the best way to kill a rat?

Smoke

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I have one under my floorboards, and it will not come out.

Suggestshens?
 
Cheese. And then stand on it.

Or get a dog.

Or a mousetrap.

Or don't kill it.
 
Light the house on fire. That will be sure to kill the little bugger, and if it is female and she had other mice, then it is guaranteed to kill them all.
 
Rat poison = bad, the rat eats the poison, crawls back under the woodwork and dies = OH GOD D: /pukes
 
Mouse traps.

You fool! Mouse traps will never work on rats! They're made for mice! You're crazy! I was crazy once. That's what they told me anyway, but I knew I wasn't. But maybe I was just fooling myself. Like you. You fool! Mouse traps will never work on rats! They're made for mice! You're crazy! I was crazy once. That's what they told me anyway, but I knew I wasn't. But maybe I was just fooling myself. Like you. You fool! Mouse traps will never work on rats! They're made for mice! You're crazy! I was crazy once. That's what they told me anyway, but I knew I wasn't. But maybe I was just fooling myself. Like you. You fool! Mouse traps will never work on rats! They're made for mice! You're crazy! I was crazy once. That's what they told me anyway, but I kn--

*falls unconscious*
 
Rats are lovely creatures. Use a humane trap and set it outside.

Do it.
 
The little ****er is under the floor and will not come out, I don't care if he dies under there, I can live with the smell. But if he stays there there's a risk he will chomp on the power cables. I want him to die.
 
So my baby rat is running around on my keyboard and managed to type "ohfag" and press enter, in a conversation to Stigmata.

Proof that rats are amazing.
 
Rats are amazing, yes. I have 3 pet rats and this is one of them, hence the bitter hatred that he has suddenly turned against me.
 
Rats are amazing, yes. I have 3 pet rats and this is one of them, hence the bitter hatred that he has suddenly turned against me.
I lol'd as I read this. I've had the best idea of them all, yet no one wants to acknowledge it.

Let me toss another idea out there. Open the floorboards and toss in 19 different types of cats. That will be sure to take him out. The cats will kill each other off so you won't worry about having them come out.
 
Get a humane trap dammit, rats are idiots for food.
 
I would toss my 3 cats down there but the place he's hiding is so damn small I can't even fit my hand in to grab him.
 
Just wait, he'll come out. I'm amazed you think he's going to just stay there when there's more interesting places he could be. Leave a plate of food out.
 
Why kill a potential resource?

When I lived in Scotland we were plagued by mice and voles. Now, we could have killed them. But we found it far more profitable to trap them with a modified weasel trap and then release them into the gardens of our enemies and competitors.
 
Right after calling Shodan and Instinct (she has smaller hands than me, useful!) to my aid, the little shit ran back into his cage.

I'm going to drown him now.
 
I've decided thanks to this thread that...

I'm bringing back the bubonic plague.
 
Ah well grats on your rat hunting!
I myself like rats. tehy are cute :D
 
Speaking of rats... for some stupid reason we now have mice up in our attic. I guess they must of gotten in somehow last summer while we were rewiring the house and had the garage open a lot.

But what puzzles me, is that I can't find any way that they're making it outside. They have to be eating something to survive, but I can't for the life of me figure out how they're getting in and out after the fact.

It's really driving me nuts, and I haven't yet been able to trap them.
 
I found a mouse had eaten some clothes I left in a bag in the garage. Unfortunately my favourite cashmere jumper was one of the items ;(
 
Give him little clothes and a hat. I'm sure he'll just put them on and stroll out.
 
Don't kill it. Rats are nice. unless it's a black rat. And a plague carrier. You can kill it then. Otherwise just try and capture it and put it outside.
 
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