Why are parents

LOL gray fox.

My parents have brought be up just right in my opinion.
They werent TOO leniant, where they bought me everything i wanted and done everything ive asked them to do and by no means was a spoilt kid. However, neither was i ever grounded. Sure my mother goes mental when she sees my house is trashed after i host a houseparty (like last night lol) but thats expected.

Going onto your case though... I think your parents should totally chill out. The more they act like they are, the more theyre guna drive you away. You are 20 now, your an adult, they should let you do whatever you want to do, and trust in you to do well at university because of course ..you don't owe it to them, you owe it yourself to achieve your goals.

Go to them and tell them ''look... im 20 years old now, leave me live my life the way i want to live it. I wont be living here forever so just chill the f*** out''.

:D
 
Thats got 'finally time to kick him out' written all over it.

Parents WILL kick you out, or do it softly and give you time to find a place first or something. I dunno, never been in that situation.

What I DO know is that, no matter what they do in terms of being too harsh or not leniant enough, you will miss them when you leave.
 
KoreBolteR said:
Go to them and tell them ''look... im 20 years old now, leave me live my life the way i want to live it. I wont be living here forever so just chill the f*** out''.

:D
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He has no right to say that since they're paying for the house.
Their house, their rules. If he doesn't like it he can go crash with one of his pothead friends.
Like everyone else has been saying.
 
Shift said:
Well Im doing first year again, different subjects though, because I basically cocked up last year by pretty going 5 times in the entire year and mainly concentrating on band activities and going to strange places at night getting drunk. So thought I should have another bash at it this year with different subjects, but since that put me in more debt that your average student, I figured I had to save some money by living at home. Shit I know, but it seems necessary under the circumstances.
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Did that last year too... only, I was in the Third Year, attended all the lessons (but then "going 5 times" is practically 100% attendance when you're an English student) and I probably drank a lot less. Regardless, it is certainly better to get this crap out of your hair when you're early in University. Nothing sucks worse than wishing you'd majored differently 3 years down the line.

Still, I think you've done the right thing by cutting your financial losses and sticking with your parents. But even if their motives are protective, you probably still owe your parents enough that you should try and respect their authority a bit more than common sense dictates. If they really are being draconian, just meet them halfway. Accept that you're going to have to put up with a little crap while you're in their home.

Most of all though, take every opportunity to bad-mouth your situation, but don't start to believe too much of it. See it out to the bitter end, it'll be worth it sooner or later. By the end of the year you'll get two years of doing what the hell you like, and at the end of that, a start on the ladder, no matter which rung you start on.

PS. My main consolation is that I almost certainly still have far less debt than you. I doubt I'd have gone if I was born a year later, and was thereafter violated by your tuition fee scheme :p
 
Shift said:
such tools.

Sure im grateful for my dad giving my plenty of support to my band and carting my huge amount of gear around to the different venues every 2 weeks, but as soon as I mention a party and about to leave the house, they go mental.

Im almost 20 and my parents have grounded me, because apparently im not spending money on taxis, and if they dont know where I am, it apparently ruins their night. So I said that im going anyway, so they took my key and said if I go I dont get back in.

Somehow I think choosing to live at home this year was a mistake, sure I get out enough with all the gigs we do, but I feel that whilst Im under this roof I cant leave the house at all unless its in the local area, traveling to town for uni or for band practices. Gay.

I am so outta here next summer.
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LOL man you are 20 years old WTF are you still doing??
 
I've never been grounded in my whole life.

You should move out of your parents' house, BTW.
 
Either way I will be next summer, I just needed to this term to try and gain some money back. Think I was mainly ticked off about it on this occasion because it was my drummers 18th and felt really pissed off that I was forced to let him down because my parents cant trust me. But oh well, in the past now.
 
Shift said:
such tools.

Sure im grateful for my dad giving my plenty of support to my band and carting my huge amount of gear around to the different venues every 2 weeks, but as soon as I mention a party and about to leave the house, they go mental.

Im almost 20 and my parents have grounded me, because apparently im not spending money on taxis, and if they dont know where I am, it apparently ruins their night. So I said that im going anyway, so they took my key and said if I go I dont get back in.

Somehow I think choosing to live at home this year was a mistake, sure I get out enough with all the gigs we do, but I feel that whilst Im under this roof I cant leave the house at all unless its in the local area, traveling to town for uni or for band practices. Gay.

I am so outta here next summer.
Click to expand...



living on your own just to be able to come and go as you please only works for the first few months ..then reality hits and you realise you cant afford to live on your own and are spending every last dime simply staying alive or paying rent. So your parents are worried is that really a big deal? would you prefer they didnt care where you are or where you're going?. It's their house, you live by their rules OR start paying for room and board OR get out and realise you have zero time to go out because you're too busy working just to pay for everything. Save while you're at home and move when you're ready to move out ..not because your homelife has become an inconvienece to your social life ..because moving out unprepared guarentees you'll have no social life
 
CptStern said:
living on your own just to be able to come and go as you please only works for the first few months ..then reality hits and you realise you cant afford to live on your own and are spending every last dime simply staying alive or paying rent. So your parents are worried is that really a big deal? would you prefer they didnt care where you are or where you're going?. It's their house, you live by their rules OR start paying for room and board OR get out and realise you have zero time to go out because you're too busy working just to pay for everything. Save while you're at home and move when you're ready to move out ..not because your homelife has become an inconvienece to your social life ..because moving out unprepared guarentees you'll have no social life
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I never thought of it that way. As much as I loved having my own room right in the center of the city, it was a bastard having to blow more money away on food because I had ran out again, or get a nice healthy addition to my student loan only to have to take three quarters of it out to pay the rent. Here I have all my food payed for, my dad is always on hand to take my band practices and transport my gear to gigs, he even offered to sell is old car to pay the insurance for a van that the band could use to transport all out gear, since gigs are starting to creep out of Manchester now.

I guess mentality plays a part though, you are 20 and still at home with your parents, doesn't sound right to me lol.
 
I come from a culture (spaniard) where you dont move out of your parents house till you're married ..now I didnt do this but by the time I moved out I had some cash to keep me going ...but in the long run paying rent is for people who like to throw away money. renting almost guarentees you'll never have enough to buy anything major like property ..if I were to do it all over again I would have a downpayment and bought a condo or a loft then moved out of my parent's home ..that way instead of throwing away money into rent I'm investing in my own future
 
Shift said:
Somehow I think choosing to live at home this year was a mistake, sure I get out enough with all the gigs we do, but I feel that whilst Im under this roof I cant leave the house at all unless its in the local area, traveling to town for uni or for band practices. Gay.
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Wow, you think.

1...2...3... GROW UP! Move out! Get away from your parents! You can do it!! Come on man! Get out of that bird's nest!
 
Some people can act like morons sometimes. Then they double post.

I couldn't bare living at home again. It was difficult enough spending the summer with my parents. It's more difficult when you're at uni, but after living away from home for ten months with a full-time job, I couldn't go back. Even living 15 minutes train journey away from uni.

I don't know how my brother plans on living at home.
 
As Stern said.

Everyone's saying "move out, move out" like living elsewhere is for free.
 
Join the army? That would be about as good a move as castrating myself with rusty razor.
 
Except if you went with the razor thing, at least you'd get to see your wife have kids.
 
Druckles said:
Except if you went with the razor thing, at least you'd get to see your wife have kids.
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if he went with the army thing there's a good chance he wont see his kids grow up


"my daddy died defending some rich guy's stakes in some god forsaken land full of foreigners somewhere in the middle east"
 
Nicky 0123 said:
Mothers are almost always to bitchier of the 2 parents.
Fathers are just like 'Hey, can I cut off my head with a chainsaw like that guy...?' 'Sure, knock yourself out son...'
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Not in my family. My mum's the more lenient one and my dad's the strict, arsey one. But my my dad is a teacher, but I don't like using that as an excuse for dickheadedness.
 
CptStern said:
if he went with the army thing there's a good chance he wont see his kids grow up
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That's kinda what I meant.

I actually met a random guy on the train on the way into Manchester last Wednesday. Turns out he'd served in the army for just over 8 years. Was quite interesting talking to him about it.

Was even weirder that I was speaking to him in the first place.
 
Moods said:
Why have you been grounded your whole life?
Click to expand...
My parents used other methods, like restricting TV time etc.

Besides, if they had grounded me after I was 15 I wouldn't really have cared, it's not like they could stop me from leaving the house.
 
Druckles said:
Actually, you'll find with a job it is.
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With a part-time job (as you have to attend lectures and lab classes, or whatever you call them, if you're studying) it's not as "free".
 
There would have been no point in my parents punishing me by grounding me or sending me to my room because:
1) grounding would've been useless because I never went out
and
2) sending me to my room would have been useless because that's where I spend all my tme anyway.
 
Unfocused said:
With a part-time job (as you have to attend lectures and lab classes, or whatever you call them, if you're studying) it's not as "free".
Click to expand...

I was referring to a full-time job.

Then again, you're getting free money from the government. It only stops being free when you spend it.
 
Druckles said:
I was referring to a full-time job.

Then again, you're getting free money from the government. It only stops being free when you spend it.
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I see.

Here I'd only get free money from the government if my parents were poor, so meh.
 
Oh, I see. Yeah, the loans here aren't enough to cover most people through university. They're still relatively free.
 
Shift said:
such tools.

Sure im grateful for my dad giving my plenty of support to my band and carting my huge amount of gear around to the different venues every 2 weeks, but as soon as I mention a party and about to leave the house, they go mental.

Im almost 20 and my parents have grounded me, because apparently im not spending money on taxis, and if they dont know where I am, it apparently ruins their night. So I said that im going anyway, so they took my key and said if I go I dont get back in.

Somehow I think choosing to live at home this year was a mistake, sure I get out enough with all the gigs we do, but I feel that whilst Im under this roof I cant leave the house at all unless its in the local area, traveling to town for uni or for band practices. Gay.

I am so outta here next summer.
Click to expand...

Hehe... if I was you I'd have just gone anyway and knock on the door...lol

When my folks were angry back in the day there was no "level of angry" it was either "not pissed off" or "nuclear angry"..... so and extra notch on the angry stick was not much.
 
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