Why not to pee in the amazon

[CptStern]

The tiny hunter shadows its prey, almost invisible due to its translucent body and small size. When the target fish exhales, the candir? detects the resulting flow of water and makes a dash for the exposed gill cavity with remarkable speed. Within less than a second it penetrates the gill and wriggles its way into place, erecting an umbrella-like array of spines to secure its position.

Unconcerned with the host's panicked thrashing, the firmly anchored parasite immediately nibbles a hole in a nearby artery with its needle-like teeth, feasting upon the bounty that gushes forth. Within two minutes the candir?'s belly is swollen with the blood of its victim, and it retracts its gripping barbs. A candir? attached to a host fishA candir? attached to a host fishThough it may seem that the exploited host fish has escaped, its injuries are so extensive that chances of survival are grim. Meanwhile the victorious attacker slinks back into the river's dark places to digest its meal.

it gets worse ...

It is not uncommon for people swimming or bathing in the river to urinate in the water, an action which creates tiny water currents that are rich in urea and ammonia. It seems that the tiny, slender catfish cannot always distinguish a urinating human from an exhaling fish gill, and on occasion it will attempt its trademark high-speed attack on some unfortunate soul.

Silvio Barbossa was one such soul. He was swimming in the Amazon River when he went head to head with the tiny parasite:
"I felt like urinating. I stood up, and it was then it attacked me. The candir? attacked me. [?] When I saw it, I was terrified. I grabbed it quickly so it couldn't go deeper inside. I could only see the end of its tail flapping. I tried to grab it, but it slipped away from me and went in. [?] I was very afraid, because the candir? bites.

MADRE DE DIOS!!!

When the candir? successfully invades a human, it proceeds exactly as it would with a fish host. After entering the misidentified orifice, it quickly wriggles its way in as far as possible, often accompanied by the victim's frantic attempts to grip the slippery, mucus-coated tail. In the unlikely event that the panicked victim manages to grasp the fish, its backwards-pointing barbs would cause excruciating pain at each pull, and bring a quick end to the dramatic tug-of-war. Once inside, the parasite inches its way up the urethra to the nearest blood-gorged membrane, extends its spines into the surrounding tissue, and starts feasting.

http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=797

<crosses legs and whimpers>

I cant unread the article, now you cant either

 

[Kamikazie]

I thought this was about not peeing while on amazon.com D:

OMG!! WHAT THE HELL! Satan created this bastard.

 

[knut]

My biology teacher told us about these little bastards a few years ago. Squeemish stuff indeed.

 

[Lucid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NMGsRmZTFQ

 

[Cpt Tenacious]

Yeah no shit.

 

[MJ12]

I remember watching a video on this in bio.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

It was in the movie "The Rundown", I know I've said this before.

 

[Seppo]

picture of the little sucker:

Spoiler

i don't see how a fish that big can enter your penishole, it's like 1 cm in width.

 

[highlander]

oh god, D: D:

 

[VirusType2]

DON'T EVER URINATE WHILE SUBMERGED IN ANY BODY OF WATER.

Fair warning.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Unless you're cold. But then you should be covered in butter if you're in cold water.

 

[VirusType2]

If you come under attack from one of these pesky parasites, quickly taze the penis.

 

[morgs]

on occasion it will attempt its trademark high-speed attack on some unfortunate soul.

^ this part made me laugh

 

[The Monkey]

Dear God.

 

[Shift]

Thats just....not.... normal D:

 

[Jintor]

Jesus ****.

 

[Baal]

i don't see how a fish that big can enter your penishole, it's like 1 cm in width.

You poor naive Internet user. You've clearly never seen the worst sights the Internet has to offer.

Fortunately, I have not either, but I am aware of its existence.

 

[Azner]

This was posted before. Thread title was something like VAMPIRE CATFISH STRIKE AGAIN. Other than that yeah, dont take a wee into the river, fishies jump up your genitals. But i guess its ok if your spray area is like SPRRRAAAASSSH

 

[Cormeh]

Spoiler

He'd have a hard time with me, I tell you what.