Window cleaner killed himself with giant pencil.

[Stormy]

A window cleaner died after repeatedly stabbing himself in the leg with a giant pencil.

Jeffrey Burton's body was found in a blood soaked room at his home in St Leonards with a gash to his upper right thigh and an oversized souvenir pencil covered in blood next to his ankle.

Heh, local news is always rather random.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/5048949.Window_cleaner_killed_himself_with_giant_pencil/

 

[Vegeta897]

Damn misleading titles. Why do I care that he was a window cleaner if he didn't do this whilst 500 feet in the air cleaning windows on some skyscraper?

 

[<RJMC>]

I though he had fall from the platform and was impaled by one one of those modern statutes in shape of big things,in this case a pencil

 

[CptStern]

he should have erased the evidence for insurance collecting purposes

 

[comoxer]

Damn misleading titles. Why do I care that he was a window cleaner if he didn't do this whilst 500 feet in the air cleaning windows on some skyscraper?

I know, very misleading.

 

[Hells Angel]

I wonder if he wrote his will first

 

[Raziaar]

Damn misleading titles. Why do I care that he was a window cleaner if he didn't do this whilst 500 feet in the air cleaning windows on some skyscraper?

Yeah, I was thinking that maybe he plunged from his window washing platform with his giant novelty pencil and positioned it so that he impaled his brain or something upon impact.



But man... if he wanted to kill himself, why go in such a bizarre way? Why kill yourself from your legs?

 

[CptStern]

from the article:

An inquest at Hastings was told Mr Burton, of De Cham Road, had no history of suicide attempts and was looking forward to going on holiday. .....

With no suicide note, his death on September 27 remains a mystery to family and friends.

Mr Craze recorded an open verdict saying there was no evidence he was trying to commit suicide.

he may have very well impaled himself with the novelty pencil blacked out and bled to death

 

[Stormy]

Well he says he used the pencil for yoga, my guess he was doing some crazy moves, slipped and impaled!

And just to top things off, here is a nice sign outside one of the local news agents in Brighton this morning.

 

[Dekstar]

And just to top things off, here is a nice sign outside one of the local news agents in Brighton this morning.

Really wish it had a subtitle saying "CURRENTLY NO LEADS"

 

[Ezra]

I suppose when you stab yourself to death with a novelty sized pencil you're asking for some god awful jokes. I'm sure even he would've drawn that conclusion before his death... ehhhhh...

 

[Hurricane]

Warning, pictures are graphite and may disturb viewers.

 

[Dog--]

Damn misleading titles. Why do I care that he was a window cleaner if he didn't do this whilst 500 feet in the air cleaning windows on some skyscraper?

This exactly. I was expecting to hear about a guy who jumped and got impaled by a pencil.

This story sucks.

 

[Tyguy]

good thing it wasn't a pen, the wounds may have been permanent.

:|

 

[Dan]

sketchy way to die

 

[Barnz]

oh no puns *runs*

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Really wish it had a subtitle saying "CURRENTLY NO LEADS"

Oh god f*ck you. I laughed so hard I had to go wipe my ass.

 

[Maestro]

Wish he could have died more artfully...

Man death-news threads are way funnier when you have puns.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Looks like his life has been erased.

 

[the cow says moo]

I knew exactly what the title of this thread implied and thought it was funny as hell.

 

[Dog--]

oh no puns *runs*

Oh no rhymes! *mimes*

 

[Dekstar]

Oh no rhymes! *mimes*

Oh no mimes! *-/-<*

 

[YROC]

I guess he wasn't as sharp as his family thought.

 

[Reginald]

To be blunt, I can't think of a decent pun.

 

[Dog--]

To be blunt, I can't think of a decent pun.

HI-OOOOOOOOOO!

 

[Maestro]

To be blunt, I can't think of a decent pun.

 

[Bad^Hat]

I lost my shit at the last paragraph.

Mr. Craze? Really?