Work Stories

Dag

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I know most of you in here have jobs, but do any of you have awesome stories? Here's mine-

Where I work, the cooks work in a very enclosed space. They have the stove/oven on one side, on the other side is the countertop/cutting board. On the other side of the cutting board is the bar. The bar is so close, you could reach out and slap a cook. (People have tried.) Now, the countertop has multiple tiers on top of each other, so the cooks can put thier knives, extra cups of pasta, and yes, thier beers. Now, some cooks drink a little more than is needed, and during this particular night, the cook who mans the oven was in this situation. He was talking in-between the tiers to a customer, when he tries to make a funny hand motion. Of course, his beer is right in the way. WHAM!. He slams the beer of the tier, and into the customers face. Now, we use glass glasses, and those hurt, and getting hit by one can be quiet undignified. Especially when its full to the brim with beer. So the customer got a bloody nose from the glass, and a face, lap, and stool drenched in Beer. To make matters worse, everyone at that moment turned around, and just stared at him. To conclude, that was one of the funniest nights I have ever spent there. So what about you guys? :afro:
 
I dont go to work yet but I used to go to my dad's old workplace at night!

I'm sure you can imagine how freaky an office building might be at midnight. All the cubicles are pitch black. My dad used to take us to his job at midnight. We just sat in seperate cubicles playing quake 3 arena together in the dark. Plus there was the break room with a bunch of pop and snacks so we stayed realy late sometimes. There were others things like a scooter we used to ride all over the place and a ping pong table.

And there was a computer parts warehouse my dad used to take us to. It was huge and we could climb up the shelves. Plus if we found something cool we could take it home cause they have billions of things there.
 
I use to work at a movie theater. One day when I was cleaning a theater with a couple other people I spilled some pop on my shirt and pants so I tried to dry it off by rubbing it off on one of the chairs, that didn't work so well so I got on the banister thing and really started giving it, someone said it looked like I was humping it and I said no it doesn't, but this does. So now I was really working the banister, but all of a sudden everyone gets real quiet so I turn around. I see the General Manager standing in the VIP suite just looking at me...with a look (a look) on his face. Of course the first thing he does is leaves and tells all the other managers so everyone in the whole building thinks I was raping a banister. To make things worst there was an employee meeting the next day, which he thought it would be a great time to go bad behavior, and I was his best example. I don't think my face has been reder...
 
once somebody shat all over a roll of paper towels and threw it around the bathroom. they asked me to clean it up but i said **** you and quit.
 
I had to help a guy buy a tab hunter (?) CD off the internet in the library. He was about 5000000000000000 sandwiches short of a picnic:

"Ok, what's your email address?"

"Wagontrain"

".............? Wagontrain.......?"

"Wagontrain"

"at hotmail.com?"

"No, wagontrain"

"You need a bit on the end....."

That went on for about 2 minutes, so I just typed in [email protected]. Got his credit card details (wrote on the back of an envelope :() and ordered the CD. **** knows if he got it! Afterwards he said thanks to me about 50 times, thanked all the staff in the library and then left.

Now this guy was not the most articulate of guys, and his mouth didn't work so well. After he went, I asked if I could go and wash my hands. They were covered in his saliva :x

Poor guy, his name's George. Wouldn't hurt anyone, but he is loud and quite intimidating if you don't know him :(

Oh sorry, didn't realise it was awesome stories, just a work story for you :p
 
I used to work at a movie theater. One Saturday morning some lovely middle aged woman came up to me and asked for a hotdog. I told her we hadn't yet begun to cook them, but we'd be putting them on the rollers shortly. Keep in mind, this was about five minutes after opening at 8:30 in the morning; most people don't eat hotdogs at 8:30 in the morning. So I left to throw them on the roller tray just for her. They have to be cooked to a certain temperature before we can serve them, and it takes about twenty minutes to get there. So ten minutes later she comes back and asks again. This time she seems very pissed off with me and complains that she's "going to miss her show" although our theaters wouldn't be opening for another 15 minutes, and her show wouldn't be starting for at least another 45. I told her it would take about another 10 to 15 minutes. She stormed off. Four of five minutes later she walks back over to me. "Done yet?" She asked. I said that I told her it would take 10-15 minutes, and that they weren't done. She just glared at me. Then she grabbed her little box of nachos, napkins, and popcorn from the counter and threw it at me. Funny thing is I got in trouble for not appeasing the bitch. I quit two weeks after that.

Another really hilarious story involves my last job spent working in a hospital as a janitor of sorts. One morning while coming up my basement steps, about three weeks into the job, I fell down the stairs, broke a vertebra in my back, damaged my shoulder, and gave myself a nice concussion. Because I had to stay off of work for three weeks, I was fired. How funny.
 
I got a job part time at a local family owned burger placed and I was just the stock boy. SO I was stocking the ketchup and the guy I was working with was filling the glass ketchup bottles with the new big ones we got. And there already was one someone had opened but instead he came over to where i was stocking and took it. I didn't see him and kept stocking and as I was stocking I was tallying and everything came out right but then when I double checked it wasn't there so im asking about ketchup and the guy that took it told me after like an hour of me looking for it so I got pissed off and just as some family walked inside I yelled "****ing asshole" really loud. The dad got all pissed and we pretended like they were crazy and that we were the only ones in the stock room and we didnt hear anything. And the best part is that they believed us and They kept trying to figure out why the hell they were hearing things.


Edit: also one time (at the same job) I was giving these people thier food and one of them was a really hot girl. She asked for an extra bottle of mustard I think it was and When i brought it to her I saw her thong sticking out and I got excited and squeezed the mustard all over the floor and her back. It was pretty great, I later watched it on the security camera video, It was ****ing hilarious.
 
I used to work in a very old grocery store and one day the boss was mopping the floor in front of the freezer section. There was water leaking on the floor and he was cleaning it up, mopping against the front of the freezer when ZZZZT!! -smoke and sparks and the store goes black. It's a pretty small store and I still see him standing there waddling around not knowing what to do and I start laughing out loud. "You think that's f**king funny?!" he yells with the gnarliest evil eye I've ever seen, pointing his finger at me. I walked out of sight and continued laughing until I couldn't breathe.

Now I work in a casino and I see all kinds of weird things every single day. Once I saw a person die and be brought back to life and the people not three feet from him were still playing the slot machine the entire time.
 
I worked at tescos, on the tills and one saturday, just before christmas, it was really busy and this guy comes to my till, I swear to god he was Borat,

Click for Borat

Same accent and everything, he bought some random crap, and when it he had to pay, he just stood there, so I said again, it was £15.37 or whatever, and he starts to get out a card and gives it to me, so I took it but he wouldn't let go!
I Started looking around for Borats christmas adventure cameras, but there was no one,
I was still trying to get the card from him, and people were starting to look at me, so I said "Let go!" and he said,

"No, I do not want to pay." then for no reason I said, "You will ****ing pay!" and he let go of the card, these people just started looking at me, as if they were completly appalled, that was so weird.

Also just before I left, I desperatly wanted to play with the tannoy thing, so I turned it on and said loudly, "Ding Dong, Ladies and gentlemen, this is a customer announcement, please do not panic."

People were looking around, going WTF etc. Fantastic.
 
hmm, I once got this certain kind of email, which seemed a lot like an ex, but I hadn't talked to her in months, but I was still sore over the whole thing. At that same moment this work experience kid walked past the office and had a stupid grin on his face looking at me (and he was known for practical jokes, never doing his work properly etc. He was like that ginger haired character in the fast show, only younger and covered in acne). So naturally I assumed it was him who'd done it and cause I was having a particularly bad day and he'd already lost a bunch of work that morning, I fired him on the spot for it.

Day or so later I found out it WAS from my ex and the guy had been completely innocent (for once).... never did rehire him or tell him though, would have fired him at the end of the month anyway :p
 
On Christmas Eve, we were open...we're a Fastfood/grociery/ice cream shop. Well...there is a wall that you can climb up and sit on right by the lobby sitting area...overlooks the whole store. Well it was about time to close, and really, Christmas Eve...at 10:00 PM..who's gonna come in? So I got up, and start singing some random shit, and someone walks in. I just sit there...frozen. He looks at me for a few seconds, and orders some ice cream to the other worker.

"That's a funny looking statue to have up at Christmas."
I fell off laughing, he screamed so loud....I never seen someone run that fast.
 
Lmao ^^^ that kinda thing has happened to me before where i think something shouldn't move and it does.
 
cyberpitz said:
On Christmas Eve, we were open...we're a Fastfood/grociery/ice cream shop. Well...there is a wall that you can climb up and sit on right by the lobby sitting area...overlooks the whole store. Well it was about time to close, and really, Christmas Eve...at 10:00 PM..who's gonna come in? So I got up, and start singing some random shit, and someone walks in. I just sit there...frozen. He looks at me for a few seconds, and orders some ice cream to the other worker.

"That's a funny looking statue to have up at Christmas."
I fell off laughing, he screamed so loud....I never seen someone run that fast.

Did you look like:
http://www.ukstudentlife.com/Travel/Tours/Belgium/Brussels/MannequinPis2.jpg
 
I used to work at a local small town grocery store while I was in high school. One night a customer came in and and bitched me out because I wouldn't cash his unemployment check. I told him we weren't a bank, and he went on to say that he knew that, but he couldn't cash it at the bank because he works during the day and can't make it to the bank during bank hours.
 
A pigeon flew into the building. I think it's dead.
 
Im on work experience at a cyber cafe. Some old guy comes in, and goes on the PC in the corner and tilts teh screen to himself. Now he starts muttering to himself, so we check up on him on the main PC. It lets us see what hes seeing, hes pretending hes a 17 yr old girl.

Hmm apparentley the guy next to him was complaining, that he was having cyber, with some 14 yr old girl over the net.

WTF this guys f***g weird.
 
solaris152000 said:
Im on work experience at a cyber cafe. Some old guy comes in, and goes on the PC in the corner and tilts teh screen to himself. Now he starts muttering to himself, so we check up on him on the main PC. It lets us see what hes seeing, hes pretending hes a 17 yr old girl.

Hmm apparentley the guy next to him was complaining, that he was having cyber, with some 14 yr old girl over the net.

WTF this guys f***g weird.

You found him!

Go and kill him at once!

Dirty old bugger.
 
solaris152000 said:
Im on work experience at a cyber cafe. Some old guy comes in, and goes on the PC in the corner and tilts teh screen to himself. Now he starts muttering to himself, so we check up on him on the main PC. It lets us see what hes seeing, hes pretending hes a 17 yr old girl.

Hmm apparentley the guy next to him was complaining, that he was having cyber, with some 14 yr old girl over the net.

WTF this guys f***g weird.

You should have joined in his chat room pretending to be the FBI cracking down on pedophiles.
 
solaris152000 said:
Im on work experience at a cyber cafe. Some old guy comes in, and goes on the PC in the corner and tilts teh screen to himself. Now he starts muttering to himself, so we check up on him on the main PC. It lets us see what hes seeing, hes pretending hes a 17 yr old girl.

Hmm apparentley the guy next to him was complaining, that he was having cyber, with some 14 yr old girl over the net.

WTF this guys f***g weird.
what's his address? ;) :naughty:
 
A couple summers ago I was working for the town road crew. It was myself and two of my friends who got hired. One day when we were brush cutting (cutting trees along the road) we went to take lunch at the local mini-mart. Well we put the chainsaws in the back of the truck but we didn't close the tailgate all the way.

We went cruising around the back roads on the company gas. When we got back to the shop we noticed that one of the chainsaws was missing. We realized that when we were baha-ing around it must have bounced off the end of the truck. My friends played decoy while I hauled ass all around the backroads looking for a chainsaw on the side of the road.

Well in conclusion we told the boss that someone stole it while we were at the mini mart.

This plus almost starting a forest fire, wars with fireworks, and sneaking into town to get breakfast at the Burger King. Best job I ever had.
 
xLostx said:
thx!!111 i am in luv now!!111!

Him: Hi I'm Rachael
Me: No you're not, you're a dirty old paedo.


Well I didn't really add them and say that, I'm just conveying the hypothetical situation, I don't have time (or the inclination) to talk to that.
 
Im going to Message him and then say something completely disgusting


edit: speaking of disgusting, I just goatse'd my friend when he ask what "all your base" was
 
MarcoPollo said:
Im going to Message him and then say something completely disgusting


edit: speaking of disgusting, I just goatse'd my friend when he ask what "all your base" was

You rascal.
 
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