Worst Pickup Lines Ever

hey baby i see that your checking out my goods want a sample??... well stand and deliver b****
 
el Chi said:
Pulling and paying are two different things.


I should know; I found out the hard way.
Click to expand...

Ah the benefits of having a stripper friend ;)

She's really nice, only kissed her because we were playing spin the bottle, she is absolutely gorgeous though!
 
demonkyo said:
hey baby i see that your checking out my goods want a sample??... well stand and deliver b****
Click to expand...

Well, that's the finest first post I've ever seen.







Bar none.
 
"Hey, wanna see something swell?"

:LOL:

I'm not sure if it would work though, I've never tried it. :p
 
lol well most people start life here with a 'hello im Demonkyo' in the newbies forum but you've jumped in there and made a name for yourself, good on you. I'm sure John is partly attracted to you, so no worries. Welcome and your chat line is good.

Continuing the 'drunk stupid things' thread you could say, 'I've got a fork in my eye, if i get my sight back again will you go out with me'

edit:
LOL
Ritz said:
Take me right here and now!
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Basically shes cut out the pickup line and offered herself...cheap girls pfft
 
If you are in the military, you can pull the classic
"I don't know if ill ever come back, but if I don't..." Fake tears will help.

Demonkyo... wow. I know you.....
 
Finest line ever:

"If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the
answer to this question?"

or

"Cold out, isn't it" [staring at breats]

"Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?"
 
Ritz said:
Burnzie said:
Or just punch her in the ovarys.

Right in the baby makers.
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Take me right here and now!
Click to expand...

;)

there we are lads... Tried and tested method.

I think you all need to take a page out of my book.
 
Does this smell like chorophorm to you?
Or..
Does this rag smell a little odd to you?
 
Foxtrot said:
Does this smell like chorophorm to you?
Or..
Does this rag smell a little odd to you?
Click to expand...

:angry:

"Contemporary Romance" - Andrew Weldon

1. "At the risk of sounding trite-I love you"
2. "If you were to commit to loving me, I would seriously consider loving you in return."
3. "I still have to speak with my accountant, but it is possible that I may want to marry you."
4. "I :imu: love :imu: you."

The :imu:'s are fingers :D
 
Stab her in the arm and then say 'Baby your hot I wanna take you home!' she'll be so distraced with the arm that she wont notice how rude the line was!
 
Hectic Glenn said:
Continuing the 'drunk stupid things' thread you could say, 'I've got a fork in my eye, if i get my sight back again will you go out with me'
Click to expand...
Yes, yes and yes.
 
"Hey baby, ever taken a ride in a Skoda Favourite?"

or alternatively:

"i bet youve never met a guy with as many sexually transmitted virusses as me!"
 
cabbs said:
"Hey baby, ever taken a ride in a Skoda Favourite?"

or alternatively:

"i bet youve never met a guy with as many sexually transmitted virusses as me!"
Click to expand...
this thread has made me laugh so much, funniest one in a long time.

Oh and cabbs ,they used to be called 'STDs' (diseases) but now they are STI's (infections) so you HAVE to call them STI's, theres never been STV's as far as im aware. Its not a laughing matter :(
 
Hectic Glenn said:
Oh and cabbs ,they used to be called 'STDs' (diseases) but now they are STI's (infections) so you HAVE to call them STI's, theres never been STV's as far as im aware. Its not a laughing matter :(
Click to expand...
:LOL: Yes it is.
 
"did you hear the one about the fat penguin?"
"no"
"neuther have i, but it broke the ice"
 
xLostx said:
Hey baby, wanna do something you'll regret in the morning?
Click to expand...


Reminds me of that poster with silly reponces

The night before, sweet filly
The morning after, fat cow

There is one from the "Perfect Storm" that goes
"You know what would look good on you?....ME!"
 
No one can do it better then Quagmire.


Glen Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through.

[Quagmire tries to hit on some women at a lesbian bar]
Glen Quagmire: Hey, any of you ladies been penetrated?

Glen Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet?
Meg Griffin: No.
Glen Quagmire: [Turns to Chris] Hey Chris, how's it going?

Glen Quagmire: Don't look at me like that. Fat chicks need love too... but they got to pay.

[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Glen Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.

Glen Quagmire: Baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together.

Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Glen Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Glen Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Glen Quagmire: Fifty bucks.

Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.

UPS Woman: I've got a package for Glen Quagmire.
Quagmire: I'll be right back
[Closes door, then returns a moment later, naked]
Quagmire: And I've got a package for you too! Oh!
[she maces him]
Quagmire: Nice try, but I've built up an immunity.
 
AntiAnto said:
Finest line ever:

"If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the
answer to this question?"
Click to expand...

That IS a fantastic one... :thumbs: :LOL:
 
Use your finger to signal a girl over to you.

"Hey baby, if I can make you come with one finger, imgaine what I could do with ten."

Sorry if that's already been posted.
 
These are worth trying :D. Or alternately you could speak in l33t speak and basically ask if they "want to be sex0red"
 
Fishlore said:
Use your finger to signal a girl over to you.

"Hey baby, if I can make you come with one finger, imgaine what I could do with ten."

Sorry if that's already been posted.
Click to expand...
Aaah there's nothing quite as romantic as fisting... :|

As we all know, the way to a girl's heart is thr-
<Shudders>No. No, I just can't bring myself to say it. I'm sorry.
 
Walk up to two or more girls talking to each other and just stand unnaturally close looking somewhere else. Wait for them to notice you. Turn to them surprised. "Oh hi! I'm X" etc. Stolen straight out of Good Will Hunting but it's worked for me.

I went into Cold Stone Creamery the other day and saw a girl that was in one of my classes last semester. She asked if it was my first time at Cold Stone and I replied, "Yep, poppin' the Cold Stone Cherry today." She laughed and said, "Well I'm glad to be your first." I am so in.
 
I believe just introducing yourself is a much better method, but here goes...

"baby, you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive"

"Hey, you know, the adult human has 206 bones in its body. Want one more?"

"You know, there's something wrong with your eyes..." (she responds: "what?") "They're not 4 inches above my schlong."

"I hear Uranus rotates on it's side. True?"

etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
 
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