Write Valve's "Gone Gold" Press Release for 'Em.

[razorblade kiss]

"Holy f*cketysh*t, HL2 is teh gold, now we are teh l33t3st haxorz of jooz allz" - Gabe, moments before he is slapped by Hordon Freemen wit teh crowbar

How do you slap someone with a crowbar?

 

[Biozeminade]

"Vivendi Universal and Valve Software are pleased to announce that Half-Life 2, the highly anticipated sequal to the 1998 Game of the Year has officially gone gold and will be shipped to retailers within 3 weeks.

Enjoy the game.

PS: This press release is really short because we had some random n00b from HalfLife2.net write it for us."

 

[Xcellere]

"Half-Life 2 has gone gold..........................






















Semi-Transparent 9th Dimensional Gold, meaning you'll kind of see it on September 30, 8183.

-Doug Lombardi"

 

[Dr. Freeman]

Gold Woowotowotowotowow Daosmdomgoamodmsomgoamomdsmdomw Owowowowoowowtotowootowowtotw

now thats a mouthful :burp:
i wanna read Chris_D's post.. keeping in mind he has haxored Steam once :E

 

[Xcellere]

Or this:

"Half-Life 2 has gone gold, only problem is we put it in a Cadburry Egg-style gold wrapper.......... and Gabe it. Sorry."

-Doug Lombardi

 

[Intamin]

"Um, we here at Valve aren't sure of what you all mean by Half-Life 2 going gold, but according to the periodic table, the second element is most certainly not gold, but is in fact a radioactive substance.

"Thus, we regret to inform you that Half-Life 2, even if it was a game, will not be released on account of the fact that it's Half-life is 24,948.8473 years. Sorry to disappoint you all, go away now."

-Anonymous

P.S. Please don't hurt my children!

 

[kelerain]

Gabe has typically been a man of few words on annoucements. I would guess he would post it on half-life2.com and send email to all the major fan sites with something simple, concice, and direct.

"
Halflife 2 has gone gold.

-Gabe
"

 

[aeroripper]

no i highly doubt that kelerain... they've already said the news will be on their hl2 page and steampowered and lots of other sites... we'll know about it from everywhere

And it would be REALLY unwise to post it in a forum or e-mail or something because... well... we already know what happened to that once :-P... my name is gaben!

 

[Death.Trap]

Or this:

"Half-Life 2 has gone gold, only problem is we put it in a Cadburry Egg-style gold wrapper.......... and Gabe it. Sorry."

-Doug Lombardi

LMFAO HAHAAH


poor gabe...

 

[DrEvil]

Wooohoooo!

 

[DrEvil]

Or this:

"Half-Life 2 has gone gold, only problem is we put it in a Cadburry Egg-style gold wrapper.......... and Gabe it. Sorry."

-Doug Lombardi

cruel but funny.

 

[DarkStar]

"I'm pleased to announce that Half-Life 2 has gone bronze! It's kinda like going gold, but not quite as final. We're hoping to go silver by Q4 of this year."

-Doug Lombardi

 

[Mr. Redundant]

Doug: HALF-LIFE2 FANBOYS, I HAVE GREAT NEWS!!!!!

HL2 fanboyz: "what? Hl2 has gone gold?!!?!"

Doug: NO!!, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Gieko.

 

[CyberPitz]

I am pleased to announce that Half-Life 2 is going gold!!
-Doug whispers-
Hmmmm...are you sure you want me to quit playing pranks on everybody!?
-More Doug whisper-
*SIGH* FINE!!! Can I at least post SOMETHING?!
-Doug nods-
"MY PASSWORD ISNT GABEN!! ITS NEBAG! HAHA NEWBS FIGURE THAT OUT!!"
-Doug sighs and leaves-


......PS HALFLIFE 2 IS GOLD NOW!

 

[MetEoRA]

"We're pleased to announce that the long-awaited Half-Life 2 for GameBoy Advance has finally gone gold. It will hit store shelves on November 2nd. Enjoy!"

Oh damn.

 

[Hazar]

"We're pleased to announce that the long-awaited Half-Life 2 for GameBoy Advance has finally gone gold. It will hit store shelves on November 2nd. Enjoy!"

Oh damn.

hahaha

here's mine: "We are somewhat happy and sad to announce that HL2 has officially gone gold. *tears* Unfortunatly, it has gone gold, literally."

 

[gooball]

"Half-Life 2 is gold, but it will arrive a few weeks later then we had hoped.

Here's the story:
To celebrate the game going gold, we broke out the champaign and had a bit of a party. Everything was going great, we had a DJ set up in the office and spin beats while we danced and celebrated. Gabe was showing off his knife collection. I was skateboarding all over the offices, in the lobby, and in the Steam server room (sorry about the 2 minute outage, by the way. I ollied off one of the server cases and fell into a bunch of wires.) As the party continued in to the night, every employee had a chance to pick music for the DJ to play. Somehow the HL2 gold disc got mixed in with the techno cds.

The damn stoner DJ must have unknowingly taken it home after the party.

So we all strolled in to work this afternoon, and after sobering up in the meeting room for an hour, we realised that we could not find the gold master disc. We tried to track down the DJ, but nobody here seems to even remember inviting him...

Anyhow the game will be on store shelves in a few weeks.. I need a coffee..."

- Doug Lombardi, Valve Software

 

[el Chi]

How do you slap someone with a crowbar?

Well, they certainly don't get back up in a hurry.