"Yeah, you lay down, I'll get the tennis racket."

Shakermaker

Shakermaker

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Do you talk in your sleep? I supposedly do, but no one ever wrote down what I said exactly. This woman keeps a blog of what her husband mumbles during the night. Some of the stuff he says is hilarious.

"Look out! Marshmallows!"
"Yah, I can't believe in God when I'm THIS good."
[quite suddenly, upon waking] "Get the python!"
"Oh, we're going to be late for the pogo ballet, stop it!"
"I'm better than Superman. He's just a c**t .... in underpants."
"Put the lobster down. Put it down!"
 
i hate to be the cynic but is there any credibility to this? i was looking at it earlier and it just seems like someone got stoned and wrote those...
 
That shit's so fake.

Edit: What Tyguy said.
 
Tyguy said:
i hate to be the cynic but is there any credibility to this? i was looking at it earlier and it just seems like someone got stoned and wrote those...
Click to expand...

Vegeta897 said:
That shit's so fake.

Edit: What Tyguy said.
Click to expand...

This and this. You can definitely say some funny/weird shit in your sleep, but it's hardly ever that clear cut.

Usually it's not things like "I'm better than Superman. He's just a c**t .... in underpants."

more like "Ask dad if it doesn't or if he's just gunna of his car" (me)
 
My brother speaks an unknown language. It has touches of Japanese flavor but is still complete gibberish.
 
one of my roommates did last semester. he said "she didn't tell me how old she was!" and i was like "wtf, man?" and then he started coughing and swearing.
 
Hey guys, did you know Futurama is fake? Blackadder too?

I don't care if it's real or made up, I'm laughing my arse off.
 
I laughed more at "and then he started coughing and swearing"
 
I heard a friend speak the most insane shit when I sleept at his house after a night on the town. Forgot what he said now, stuff about wheat and some flower I think, but it was still mostly coherent. Also this girl I knew said she had to post "this" letter and was clapping on her belly.

Also I once punched a wall in my sleep. I still have a knuckle mark in the drywall.
 
This happened on January 1st

I just came back home from a party and I had to go get something from my sister's room.Her TV was on but she was asleep.As I was leaving , she called my name.I came closer to her - she called me again.I said "What is it ?" She said
"Set the dimensions to be 2x2"
"Dimensions , what the hell are you talking about , whose dimensions ? "
"Of the table"
At this point I was trying not to laugh my ass of so I headed for the door.Then again , she called me.
"What is it !?"
She continued snoring.

This wasn't the first time she did something like that.I remember her talking about Chuck Norris and some laser gun.I'm not joking.
 
I listened to my brother mutter "Mmm Taco Bell" and then letting one rip. I though it was funny how concise it was.
 
Apparently I held a conversation with a couple of friends in my half asleep state once about the importance of "getting the surfboards". :|
 
The morning after I stayed up absurdly late working on my pixel art city 17, my sister came in my room while I was sleeping to ask me how to install Black and White.

However, I was completely dazed and my head full of ms paint and pixels, my mind made up something entirely different for what she was asking me. What I heard was her asking me about like, the color values of certain pixels in the image. And I said to her "How should I know!?" in that angry 'let me sleep' manner.

Only when I asked her later in the day did I find out what she actually asked me... I thought it was quite funny.
 
My brother usually mumbles physics stuff when he is asleep. Usually can't make out the most of the stuff he says, but one time "must get good grades". He is such a nerd even when he is asleep.
 
I once headbutted someone becouse, when I was just about to fall asleep, thought she was a spider. It was my mom

She had come to say goodnight. I had just seen a big ass spider before going to sleep, and thought it didn't bother me. Guess it did. It was a weird moment when I stared at her, wondering where the spider went.
 
Apparently, years back, I was yelling and screaming "WATER BOTTLE" in my sleep, before proceeding to roll off the bed.
 
My girlfriend usually asks me something like "Where's the cheese?"
I'm like "What cheese"
"The cheese!"
"What cheese?"
then she usually tells me to shut up or piss of or something. makes me laugh xD
 
I have a friend of mine who doesn't often talk in his sleep, though it has happened on occasion.

Years ago when we were all staying at a friend's place, I was still awake talking to said friend, when my other friend said in his sleep:

"She does some sweet-ass sketches, man."
And
"What about the cobras? On the beach?"
 
I'm always talking in my sleep. I once shouted out at the top of my voice "NO! No more diggers" much to the amusement of my missus. I also told her in my sleep that "The Chocolate cake is poisonousness" and not to eat it, but "the Carrot Cake is fine because I tried a bit" :D
 
There are times when I conduct entirely lucid and ordinary conversations with other people while asleep. I don't remember telling them that I'd be quite alright and was planning to get up in only five minutes; in fact I've set my alarm for five minutes from this very moment (a lie). Apparently I'm very verbose when I'm asleep.

There are other times when my mother gives me a kiss on the forehead and I say "**** off, you baaaaaarstard".
 
It's not my fault their mothers don't love them
picture.php
 
Sulkdodds said:
There are times when I conduct entirely lucid and ordinary conversations with other people while asleep. I don't remember telling them that I'd be quite alright and was planning to get up in only five minutes; in fact I've set my alarm for five minutes from this very moment (a lie). Apparently I'm very verbose when I'm asleep.

There are other times when my mother gives me a kiss on the forehead and I say "**** off, you baaaaaarstard".
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm pretty much the same as this. My mum has come in to wish me good morning and I've held perfectly reasonable conversation with her only for me not to remember it when I get up properly.
 
swan_song1973 said:
one of my roommates did last semester. he said "she didn't tell me how old she was!" and i was like "wtf, man?" and then he started coughing and swearing.
Click to expand...

Lol'd at this one hard.


Anyways, I don't know if I talk in my sleep, since no one is around, but when I was younger, me and my buddy were chilling at my house. I was playing gamecube about 3am and he was crashed on the floor. Out of nowhere, he just yells out "SUPEERRR SSAAIIYYAAANNN!!". I turned to look at him, but he was just snoring and shit.

That had my head ****ed up for about an hour.

He takes meds, so that could have something to do with it.
 
Was driving today with the missus asleep in the passenger seat. We had been talking earlier about the possibity of the colleges closing due to snow (the schools already are). I thought it unlikely but she was arguing in favour of. They started talking about DCU being closed on the radio and she lifted up her arm and started tapping the radio. I said to her "I thought you were asleep." She just kept snoring.
 
she was probably ignoring you so she could go back to sleep
 
I was heard commanding someone to "Lay the metal on the track" a few years ago in my sleep.. My dad recorded it, I may upload it if I find it.
 
I once told my dead pet guinea pig to "shut the **** up", apparently.
 
One of my roommates (who rides horses fairly often) sat straight up in bed, yelled "HORSES!", then laid back down. This is the same roommate that got up while asleep and very creepily stood next to my bed staring at me for a minute.

I don't usually talk in my sleep unless I'm having a particularly emotional dream. Last night I dreamt that I was arguing about something with my sister, and I got really upset and yelled "No I can't!", loud enough that I woke myself up. There was also one time that I started laughing.
 
I was taking a nap after a long raid in WoW (shut up), and someone woke me up to ask what I wanted from takeaways. Apparently I told them "I want a jam donut but I don't have enough badges."
 
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