You Douche Bag!

[Dog--]

What is one time in your life that you most felt like a douche bag/asshole? Example - Embarrassing someone in front of alot of people for no reason, then you felt bad afterwards.

Mine would be calling everyone on HL2.net a douche bag with this thread. D:


Now you!

 

[Gunner]

When I drove over that old lady the other day, instead of going back to help her, I called the cops and said a black male assaulted her.

 

[CyberPitz]

Probably spreading my semen on my sisters tampon right before she used it.

 

[phantomdesign]

I once had REALLLLLLY bad gas . . . and unleashed it in a small classroom room where approximately 30 other people were located. It was the middle of the winter and the room had no ventilation (had thsoe steam-heater-units).

 

[spookymooky]

I once had REALLLLLLY bad gas . . . and unleashed it in a small classroom room where approximately 30 other people were located. It was the middle of the winter and the room had no ventilation (had thsoe steam-heater-units).

Mr. Campbell?

 

[Krynn72]

Me and an old highschool friend mixed our school lunch leftovers into a tiny paper cup. It was some of the nastiest looking shit you'd ever seen, i mean, you all know what school lunches look like, so imagine several types of gross meat, sauces, "vegetables" and liquids, all put together and combined.

Got a good mental image? Good.

So we placed it on the seat of our other friend while he was getting his food (he came in really late) and pushed his chair in. We knew he would look at his chair and see it, since this wouldnt be the first prank we pulled at our table, but it would be good for a few laughs at the thought of it.

Well he walks up with his tray of food sets it on the table and sits down.

Me and my friend cant help but bust out laughing so freaking hard that the whole cafeteria looks over at us. He just looks at us with a confused smile, until he feels it seeping in.

He stands up and looks at the chair, and my friend says "Oh my god! I cant believe you sat in it!" The guy gets so embarrassed looking, and he walks from the middle of the huge room all the way to the doors, down the hall, and into the gym locker room so he can change into his gym clothes. As he is walking out, me and my friend both stop laughing, and the guilt starts to set in. A girl over at another table tells us how we are huge assholes.

We waited like twenty minutes, then decided to go out and apologize. We found him outside the doors with a few of his other friends (all of whom give us dirty looks the entire time) and we apologize, and give him some money since he never got to eat his food.

He never talked to us again really, and sure as hell never sat with us at lunch anymore. Im pretty sure he never even came into the cafeteria again that year, and instead went to the library. I dont think he forgave us until a year later when I was put in the uncomfortable circumstance of having to group with him.

So yeah... I think that counts as a Douche bag moment.

 

[Ennui]

The only time I ever felt like a douchebag was in a couple of isolated girl-related incidents.

 

[Krynn72]

Do tell.

goddamnthis10char

 

[Ennui]

They're not really interesting. My friend and I were drinking together and he spent the whole time talking about how he wished he didn't have a girlfriend (who's at another university a few hours away) because he wants to get with this one girl, so we called her and her friends and they came over, and I promptly hooked up with the girl in question. Felt sort of like an ass about that. Also because I found out later that she had only kissed like one other guy in her LIFE, so what we did was new to her, and it was just an "LOL IM DRUNK" thing for me (I honestly couldn't care less about her as a person, she's uninteresting and vapid).

Also tend to feel like a dick when I lie to girls I care a lot about or whatever. I've never done anything too bad though.

 

[Krynn72]

Oh, yeah that story. Not really a douche bag moment though, because douchebag moments usually require active douchebaggery like in my story

 

[Cheomesh]

Hm. Since I don't do too much douchebaggery (probably should though to get back at the world for doing it to me for so long :|) I guess the closest thing is when I got a full blackhawk in project reality, with snipers and heavy AT soldiers, flew us up high and then bailed out.

 

[Ennui]

Oh, I'm a douchebag online all the time, but that doesn't count.

 

[phantomdesign]

As far as being a douchebag, I've pulled a number of revenge pranks that were really bad. Lets just say you don't want to mess with someone who is . . .

[1] smart, creative, and always thinking
[2] extremly devious
[3] knows how to keep his mouth shut; enjoying accomplishment far more than fame.

Although technically I wasn't' a douchebag since I was merely enforcing justice. I'll post some of my older stories tomorrow when I'm more awake. (Can't post recent onces till I move again, lol).

 

[Bad^Hat]

Pretty much everything I did between the ages of 14 and 17 - my angsty period. I was such a shit back then... of course I still am sometimes, but now I'm a loveable shit

 

[sinkoman]

This kid I knew always would wear hoodies, and what i'd always do was yank down on the hood while it was lying on his shoulders, so that the neck part would clothesline him.

So, I come up to him one day and yank down on his hoodie, and hear RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP, as the whole hoodie comes down his shoulders.

I go "WTF???", as he turns around and yells at me, "****!"

I looked, and I had pulled so hard that the whole thing tore down the zipper seam.

Turned out he had gotten the jacket just yesterday too.

Yeah, I felt like an ass...

 

[Dr. Breen]

Me and an old highschool friend mixed our school lunch leftovers into a tiny paper cup. It was some of the nastiest looking shit you'd ever seen, i mean, you all know what school lunches look like, so imagine several types of gross meat, sauces, "vegetables" and liquids, all put together and combined.

Got a good mental image? Good.

So we placed it on the seat of our other friend while he was getting his food (he came in really late) and pushed his chair in. We knew he would look at his chair and see it, since this wouldnt be the first prank we pulled at our table, but it would be good for a few laughs at the thought of it.

Well he walks up with his tray of food sets it on the table and sits down.

Me and my friend cant help but bust out laughing so freaking hard that the whole cafeteria looks over at us. He just looks at us with a confused smile, until he feels it seeping in.

He stands up and looks at the chair, and my friend says "Oh my god! I cant believe you sat in it!" The guy gets so embarrassed looking, and he walks from the middle of the huge room all the way to the doors, down the hall, and into the gym locker room so he can change into his gym clothes. As he is walking out, me and my friend both stop laughing, and the guilt starts to set in. A girl over at another table tells us how we are huge assholes.

We waited like twenty minutes, then decided to go out and apologize. We found him outside the doors with a few of his other friends (all of whom give us dirty looks the entire time) and we apologize, and give him some money since he never got to eat his food.

He never talked to us again really, and sure as hell never sat with us at lunch anymore. Im pretty sure he never even came into the cafeteria again that year, and instead went to the library. I dont think he forgave us until a year later when I was put in the uncomfortable circumstance of having to group with him.

So yeah... I think that counts as a Douche bag moment.

This kid I knew always would wear hoodies, and what i'd always do was yank down on the hood while it was lying on his shoulders, so that the neck part would clothesline him.

So, I come up to him one day and yank down on his hoodie, and hear RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP, as the whole hoodie comes down his shoulders.

I go "WTF???", as he turns around and yells at me, "****!"

I looked, and I had pulled so hard that the whole thing tore down the zipper seam.

Turned out he had gotten the jacket just yesterday too.

Yeah, I felt like an ass...

Hm. Since I don't do too much douchebaggery (probably should though to get back at the world for doing it to me for so long ) I guess the closest thing is when I got a full blackhawk in project reality, with snipers and heavy AT soldiers, flew us up high and then bailed out.

 

[Ravioli]

i have never in my life been purposly bad to anyone in the exeptense of the person being a total ass. I can only remember one situation were i was mean. I was in a small sailing boat with 2 other kids (some stupid ass sailing camp which i hated). One kid whos like 7 years old drops his hat in the water, he tells us to turn around and get it. Me and the other kid said "no" and he became very sad and almost crying and i said "stop crying or il drown you in the water" but i didnt say it in a jokeing-ly way. He became so frightend! It wasnt till when i got home i realized what horrible fear and discomfort i brought to the kid imagine being in a boat with 2 older guys wanting to drown you and wont give a shit about you.

 

[jondy]

lol breen

 

[Dr. Breen]

imagine being in a boat with 2 older guys wanting to drown you and wont give a shit about you.

 

[The Monkey]

In high school, me and some friends placed a fish, two open milk packages, a glas filled with raw eggs in an unused locker and locked it (all lockers are places in the basement, which prevented the stench from spreading). It took the staff two weeks to locate the correct locker and cut the lock off, at which it was nearly impossible to go down to your locker without throwing up.

 

[sinkoman]

I've always wanted to shit in a book in the school library, and put the book back on the shelf.

Imagine how long it'd take them to find the source of the stench.

 

[Kula Meenur]

Probably spreading my semen on my sisters tampon right before she used it.

Oh my christ D:

 

[Dog--]

In high school, me and some friends placed a fish, two open milk packages, a glas filled with raw eggs in an unused locker and locked it (all lockers are places in the basement, which prevented the stench from spreading). It took the staff two weeks to locate the correct locker and cut the lock off, at which it was nearly impossible to go down to your locker without throwing up.

That reminds me of this one locker in my school that was empty (we have like 100-150 more lockers in my school then students), I got this kind of soda that comes in a bottle that looks like a beer bottle (glass) every day for lunch, and stacked like 50-75 of them in this locker (just something I did, rather then recycle them). At the end of the school year the janitor opened up the locker, and it all came smashing down. It was pretty funny, and I didn't even really feel like a douche bag for it

 

[Krynn72]

Probably spreading my semen on my sisters tampon right before she used it.

Aw man, I thought I was the dad!

 

[213]

What is one time in your life that you most felt like a douche bag/asshole? Example - Embarrassing someone in front of alot of people for no reason, then you felt bad afterwards.

Mine would be calling everyone on HL2.net a douche bag with this thread. D:


Now you!

Beating up siblings/peers/friends/etc.
Killing a dog by throwing it off the side of a bridge.
Killing various insects, little animals/rodents,etc.
Throwing homemade bombs into neighbors' houses.
Blackmailing friends for money.
Soliciting favors via intimidation.
Various campaigns of torture again schoolmates, both physical and psychological.

I didn't feel bad at the time, only now, years later when I reflect upon it I sort of do for some of them.

 

[Bad^Hat]

Can... can someone ban 213? Now? Please?

 

[JNightshade]

F*ck you, I like this guy.

 

[Instinct]

Beating up siblings/peers/friends/etc.
Killing a dog by throwing it off the side of a bridge.
Killing various insects, little animals/rodents,etc.
Throwing homemade bombs into neighbors' houses.
Blackmailing friends for money.
Soliciting favors via intimidation.
Various campaigns of torture again schoolmates, both physical and psychological.

I didn't feel bad at the time, only now, years later when I reflect upon it I sort of do for some of them.

This is one of those things where you read all the previous posts and laugh to yourself, and then you read this and you just go D: and decide against adding your story.

 

[ComradeBadger]

Generally being a bit of an arsehole - ****ed around a few girls around over the past two years.. ah well

It's something everyone does at some point really so :/ it's the only time I've really been disliked..

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

I'm a loveable shit

Yaus you are!

This is a pretty common occurence, but as a form of "surprise greeting" a friend and I always sneak up behind each other when at our lockers and drill each others faces into them whenever one of us isn't looking. Now usually this wouldn't seem so bad since we always get a kick out of it, but yesterday I did it to my pal in front of a bunch of his friends who promptly laughed in his face when it all went down. He seemed pretty embarassed, and his friends thought I was probably picking on him. Felt like an ass afterwards, but it's all good now. We had a few lols later on.

Nothing says "apology accepted" like having your face slammed into a brick wall.

 

[evil^milk]

Me and an old highschool friend mixed our school lunch leftovers into a tiny paper cup. It was some of the nastiest looking shit you'd ever seen, i mean, you all know what school lunches look like, so imagine several types of gross meat, sauces, "vegetables" and liquids, all put together and combined.

Got a good mental image? Good.

So we placed it on the seat of our other friend while he was getting his food (he came in really late) and pushed his chair in. We knew he would look at his chair and see it, since this wouldnt be the first prank we pulled at our table, but it would be good for a few laughs at the thought of it.

Well he walks up with his tray of food sets it on the table and sits down.

Me and my friend cant help but bust out laughing so freaking hard that the whole cafeteria looks over at us. He just looks at us with a confused smile, until he feels it seeping in.

He stands up and looks at the chair, and my friend says "Oh my god! I cant believe you sat in it!" The guy gets so embarrassed looking, and he walks from the middle of the huge room all the way to the doors, down the hall, and into the gym locker room so he can change into his gym clothes. As he is walking out, me and my friend both stop laughing, and the guilt starts to set in. A girl over at another table tells us how we are huge assholes.

We waited like twenty minutes, then decided to go out and apologize. We found him outside the doors with a few of his other friends (all of whom give us dirty looks the entire time) and we apologize, and give him some money since he never got to eat his food.

He never talked to us again really, and sure as hell never sat with us at lunch anymore. Im pretty sure he never even came into the cafeteria again that year, and instead went to the library. I dont think he forgave us until a year later when I was put in the uncomfortable circumstance of having to group with him.

So yeah... I think that counts as a Douche bag moment.

Man, he kind of took it hard. I would've lol'd and carried on (and pulled pranks on you 'tards )

 

[Ridge]

This last may, my sis graduated from high school (on her 18th b-day, coincidentally) so naturally there was a large gathering of family and friends.

My godmother gave her a brand spankin new Dell Laptop (worth $1000 we later discovered), a copy of Office 2007 Student, and a $700 printer.

Jokingly, I started going "ooh ooh can I have one too?" and sucking up to her and whatnot...later that evening, she took my downstairs and gave me a matching package (minus the printer). I exclaimed much joy and thanks....but I felt like a douche later on and for days afterwards for being so childish...

 

[Wanted Bob]

Probably spreading my semen on my sisters tampon right before she used it.

Oh my god, that was the funniest thing I've read in a while!