You're fatter than you think, fatty

CptStern

suckmonkey
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
10,303
Reaction score
62
Your pants have been deceiving you for years. And the lies are compounding

waistline-measurement-chart-for-men-090710-xlg.jpg


...the temple for waisted male self-esteem is Old Navy, where I easily slid into a size 34 pair of the brand's Dress Pant. Where no other 34s had been hospitable, Old Navy's fit snugly. The final measurement? Five inches larger than the label. You can eat all the slow-churn ice cream and brats you want, and still consider yourself slender in these.


http://www.esquire.com/blogs/mens-fashion/pants-size-chart-090710#ixzz0yrZ1l3Vb
 
Uh-oh ... I'm screwed. I wear an Old Navy 36 and was feeling pretty optimistic about it. F*CK.
 
meh I dont wear clothes so I dont have to care about clothes sizes
 
I don't think I wear any of those kinds of pants...

I think I'm wearing Wal-Mart pants.

They're probably off the scale...
 
so long as you're not in georgia you should be ok Wal-mart pants guy
 
Work clothes do not warrant spending any more than is absolutely necessary... thus wal-mart is the store for work clothes. Even in my standard human clothes... I don't wear any of those brands.
 
I know I'm a fat git, but I'm getting less and less of a fat git every day and can now get in sizes I haven't been able to for 10 years. So your ****ing little chart can kiss my arse frankly.
 
On a brighter note: same goes for self-perceived penis size. Look in a mirror.
 
Its such horseshit that they do this. I don't want to have to test-run my pants in a store just because you're a lying sack of shit when it comes to your sizes. I want to just buy them, bring them home and wear them, without having to worry about them being too big or too small.

I guess I could just stick with one brand of pants, but thats gay yo
 
I'm surprised Levi isn't on there, since it's a bit more popular. NEITHER OF MY JEAN'S MAKERS ARE ON THERE.
 
I'm not surprised by this, and have noticed it ages ago. While I'll wear a 5 in most brands, some stores like Old Navy and Gap would have me swimming in their size 3s. I always figured it created some brand loyalty among fatties who want to feel better about the size of their pants, but it's just a pain when you have to try on three different sizes.

Lol, some stores do the same thing with bras, only in reverse so you feel like your tits are bigger.
 
Do they have other size benchmarks? I wonder what my actual waste size is but I definitely wear nowhere close to '36.'
 
Do they have other size benchmarks? I wonder what my actual waste size is but I definitely wear nowhere close to '36.'

Well without different measurements to deduce the pattern from, you could try doing the measurements on the same scale (but this probably isn't likely)

For a pair of Old Navy 40" jeans, for example, take the ratio of real to advertised measurements (41/36) and apply it to the jeans in question (40" * 41/36 = 45.6"). This is assuming the "vanity sizing" works on a scale of course, which we can't determine with the data, but it's probably a good general-case estimate.
 
"For a pair of Old Navy 40" jeans"

hold on there Bessie that sure is a wide load
 
Psh... I've worn 40s since high school. But you couldn't expect anything less from an all-star defensive tackle ;)

They were never Old Navys though. I don't know if Old Navy sells anything I'd wear regularly.
 
I wear a 34 Waistline and Old Navy Clothes are the worst. they last like 3 months then fall apart. American Eagle, Dickies, etc last me forever
 
I wear a 34 Waistline and Old Navy Clothes are the worst. they last like 3 months then fall apart. American Eagle, Dickies, etc last me forever

Old Navy is also like, the blandest most boring clothes ever. And this is coming from someone whose entire wardrobe is completely comprised of grey, navy blue, and black, and has the fashion sense of a Soviet gulag prisoner. (Grand Moff Tarkin on a good day.)
 
Tarkin doesn't have good days. He spent his whole life saving up for one and some punk ass newbie ruined everything for him.
 
Old Navy is also like, the blandest most boring clothes ever. And this is coming from someone whose entire wardrobe is completely comprised of grey, navy blue, and black, and has the fashion sense of a Soviet gulag prisoner. (Grand Moff Tarkin on a good day.)

Old Navy carries the only jeans that have the fit my body styl- ... that fit my proport- ... There's no way for me to describe the appropriateness of the cut of Old Navy jeans without sounding like a fatty in the context of this thread goddammit!
 
I'm not familiar with the whole size measurement thing, since I don't like shopping for clothes.

Wish they still had uniforms in uni. :/
 
So when I went from 30 to 32 I actually increased in size tenfold?
I didn't realise they started doing clothes sizes in a logarithmic scale.
 
this is good advice for a big segment of hl2.net members <not being sarcastic>

Don't worry Stern, we know. You remind us every day that you're better than all of us "fat virgin homosexuals" on this forum.
 
I'm not familiar with the whole size measurement thing, since I don't like shopping for clothes.

Wish they still had uniforms in uni. :/

you're never getting laid :(
 
I thought women liked men in uniform...
 
meh women could wear a garbage bag and it'd still be a turn on

"that hefty bag really brings out the colour in your eyes and you've done wonders with the twist tie .....can we have sex now?"
 
Back
Top