Zero Punctuation reviews the Orange Box

[Au-heppa]

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/art...ctuation/2541-Zero-Punctuation-The-Orange-Box


If you are not familiar with Zero Punctuation, check out these reviews including Bioshock and Halo 3:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation

 

[Asknoone]

Couldn't resist, could you? (ZeroPunch is absolutely awesome)

 

[Au-heppa]

No...

 

[Andrew LB]

...force feedback cod piece. ROFL.

I only agree with him about Portal. The rest of the review is just wrong. The guy should re-play the original half life/hl2/all episodes and piece things together a little better.

 

[Pesmerga]

Haha that's his best one yet. Oh wow, that's ****ing hilarious.

 

[Grand Architect]

I must say, spot on review.

 

[Laivasse]

His praise is all spot on, but his criticism of Ep2 goes off the rails when he starts to talk about not knowing who Magnusson is.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

His praise is all spot on, but his criticism of Ep2 goes off the rails when he starts to talk about not knowing who Magnusson is.

Yeah, but other than that his points were mostly valid. I agree with him to a very large extent about Episode 2. (And before anyone starts shouting at me, for pity's sake people; HE LIKED IT!)

 

[Gordon07]

That is definatley the most entertaining review I've seen.

 

[Tyguy]

Everything that he mentions negatively about episode 2 is still better than anything out there though, which he hesitantly conveys.

 

[Ridge]

I enjoyed it...including the criticism...hell, Magnusson did just come out of nowhere! The comment about the bridge was spot on, although I agree that we have done the toxic sludge + jump out zombie thing a few times too many now...lets see...Water Hazard, AntiCitizen 1 and now the forest...thats the same gimmick 3 times in as many games...

 

[leib10]

The only thing he criticized that I can agree with is the retreading of old ground, such as the "use-the-wire-spools-to-get-across-radioactive-waste-while-zombies-pop-out-at-you" gimmick. Granted, it works, but that (and the elevator puzzles) got a bit old. Time to move on to new things.

 

[UseAbuse]

I heart zero Punctuation.

 

[Kadayi]

I do like his reviews as they are bloody funny, and although I do agree with him on some aspects of EP2 I do think he was a little off the mark in a lot of ways. I found the addition of Magnusson to the cast quite enjoyable for a start. I liked the fact that as the credits roll though he puts a shout our to Valve to explain where Barney is though.

what's more amusing to me though was the knuckle dragging comment made by the UT cretin complaining about the lack of AI challenge in HL2. AI challenge was never HL2 strong point ever....

 

[I Like Kill]

Zero Punct. is am a**hole. That, and that alone makes his reviews great. He has rarely, if ever, given a review completely full of praise. To expect him to glow with admiration and poop bricks of gold for Episode 2 is somewhat foolish. (I, on the other hand, did drop some precious metals on my first play through.) That is why his Portal review was so... well... not him. He couldn't say anything wrong, and sufficently ran out of material.

 

[Kadayi]

That's not quite true, He did do a very positive review about Psychonauts for the escapist, but the editorial perception was that people like his more acerbic reviews better.

 

[Evo]

Woop

Been waiting for this

 

[RioBravoXL]

That accent makes everything he said all the more whimsical.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Haha.. He loved Portal. Who couldn't.. It's like cake and puzzles with story and a bit of comedy all wrapped up. I loathed the first section of Ep2(Antlion tunnels) But once I got out of that hellhole it got fun. I thought the final battle was a little.. TOO epic.

 

[Wanted Bob]

As always, very entertaining review. I was surprised when he seemed to give Portal about as much praise as he did Psyconauts (the only other game I've ever heard him rant on about all the positive things).

 

[Para]

His praise is all spot on, but his criticism of Ep2 goes off the rails when he starts to talk about not knowing who Magnusson is.

Zero Punctuation reviews are from casual gamer's perspective. Even I didn't know who Magnusson is until the obvious microwave line BUT even then I thought Magnusson was an useless addition to Episode 2 for the same reasons ZP lists.

 

[Laivasse]

I guess casual gamers need to pay more attention to the earlier lines that tell us he's been in White Forest working on the rocket for a while. Why do we need any more introduction than 'this is an ex-BM guy who's been in White Forest for a while'...?

Yahtzee slags him off basically because he doesn't know who the guy is. It's a bit silly to complain about not knowing who he is if you're not prepared to listen to the dialogue carefully and try to place him in context. Why also assume that you'd have met every important member of the resistance within the short playtime of HL2? Then joking that there are too many ex-BM people around - Magnusson's introduction brings it to about half a dozen, on the whole planet. Why does anyone have a hard time believing that the people most intimately involved in the Resonance Cascade would also be some of the highest ranking people in the post-RC clean up efforts?

Yahtzee's humour is great, but as a legitimate criticism that particular point failed all round. It was a story gripe, yet the story deals with it perfectly. There are problems with Episode 2, but Magnusson is not one of them in any way, shape or form.

 

[Para]

It's not about introducing new characters, it's about the need for them. Why the rocket couldn't be Kleiner's project? Why didn' they launch the thing ages ago? how did they even manage to build/procure a military grade missile silo without getting detected by the Combine until they could defend themselves?

The whole Magnusson/White Forest is an awful plot device and the weakest point of whole Ep2. OK, we all know Valve told that they were struggling with the story and Portal helped them a lot with it but looking at Magnusson/White Forest/rocket...did they run out of ideas and went to the B-scifi cliche box?

 

[Asknoone]

It's not about introducing new characters, it's about the need for them. Why the rocket couldn't be Kleiner's project?

Kleiner was based in City 17.

Why didn' they launch the thing ages ago?

Alyx mentions this in the first five minutes of the game. They couldn't launch whilst the Combine were in power and because they didn't have the codes that Alyx stole from the Citadel. Mossman was trying to recover them but she couldn't get them.

how did they even manage to build/procure a military grade missile silo without getting detected by the Combine until they could defend themselves?

It's rather clear it existed long before the Resonance Cascade. They simply occupied it - did you not see the old Russian text on all the signs, where the resistance had scribbled English notes?

There's crits, and then there's whether or not you actually followed the game.

OK, we all know Valve told that they were struggling with the story and Portal helped them a lot with it but looking at Magnusson/White Forest/rocket...did they run out of ideas and went to the B-scifi cliche box?

Struggling with the story? Huh?

 

[Para]

Kleiner was based in City 17.

That's not really a reasoning, there's no clear reason why it would be someone else than a character already introduced. What's Eli's job anyway?

Alyx mentions this in the first five minutes of the game. They couldn't launch whilst the Combine were in power and because they didn't have the codes that Alyx stole from the Citadel. Mossman was trying to recover them but she couldn't get them.

This whole thing felt very arbitrary to me but OK, that does make sense so I'll give you a point for that.

It's rather clear it existed long before the Resonance Cascade. They simply occupied it - did you not see the old Russian text on all the signs, where the resistance had scribbled English notes?

That's exactly my point. Why didn't the Combine occupy, seal or blow it up completely? Clearly there isn't too many Xen creatures around to prevent the Combine from actually at least patroling the thing every now and then so the whole reason why such place even exists is beyond me.

There's crits, and then there's whether or not you actually followed the game.

I've absorbed all the possible sutff already, I just don't happen to like Ep2's execution.

Struggling with the story? Huh?

Several of those interviews when acquiring the Narbacular Drop students Gabe mentioned how they were strugging with the story and introducing Portal and their storyline really helped them push onward Ep2/Ep3's story. Instead of being a complementary addition to the main story it turned into rather major plot point which to me says that something's wrong in the house of awesome stories. I guess they need those 4-6 years to actually develop the story instead of just new tech.

 

[Rizzo]

I agree with the magnusson as a walrus at the diner table, not that i didn't like him, it's just that when did we hear anything about him? He pops out of nowhere.
Don't mention his lunch.

 

[Grand Architect]

Alyx mentions this in the first five minutes of the game. They couldn't launch whilst the Combine were in power and because they didn't have the codes that Alyx stole from the Citadel. Mossman was trying to recover them but she couldn't get them.

I think it was that with the Citadel still up lunching a rocket was stupid as it would be shot down right quick, or the like. But they do say they couldn't do it until the citadel was down.

 

[Asknoone]

That's not really a reasoning, there's no clear reason why it would be someone else than a character already introduced. What's Eli's job anyway?

Magnusson has been there for years. Kleiner has been in the City for years. Eli has been at Black Mesa East for years.

This whole thing felt very arbitrary to me but OK, that does make sense so I'll give you a point for that.

Score one for the good guys.

That's exactly my point. Why didn't the Combine occupy, seal or blow it up completely? Clearly there isn't too many Xen creatures around to prevent the Combine from actually at least patroling the thing every now and then so the whole reason why such place even exists is beyond me.

You were there for a day or so. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of xen creatures, but they aren't out in force due to the amount of 17 escapees. Also, that's a slightly OTT niggle considering it's a game...I mean, it's a point, yeah, but it's not a crucial point given context.

 

[Narvi]

You were there for a day or so. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of xen creatures, but they aren't out in force due to the amount of 17 escapees. Also, that's a slightly OTT niggle considering it's a game...I mean, it's a point, yeah, but it's not a crucial point given context.

The Combine were leaving the rebels alone to develop portal tech, recall? After you showed up they proceeded to take out any bases you could reach to help. They probably just didn't feel like bothering their resources against what they felt was a project that would never work against them.

Besides, the Combine aren't really what we call cleaners. They leave shit alone.

 

[Para]

You were there for a day or so. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of xen creatures, but they aren't out in force due to the amount of 17 escapees. Also, that's a slightly OTT niggle considering it's a game...I mean, it's a point, yeah, but it's not a crucial point given context.

Even Finnish countryside is more dangerous (bears, wolves etc.) than what we saw in Episode 2. Looked nice but didn't fit the story premise at all.

 

[Tagaziel]

Para, I guess you are complaining for the sake of complaining.

"Oh no, there are not enough dangerous animals!"

Migration. Most corpses you find are either decomposed partially or funny skeletons to scare Alyx with. Plus, massive Combine activity. And refugees. And the Resistance. And...

...there's quite a lot of reasons why wildlife would be almost non-existent.

Hell, Hunters could've ate most of it for nourishment/fuel.

"Oh no, who is Magnusson!?"

I'll assume you had no contact whatsoever with the Episode 2 previews, despite being a registered member of HL2.net for the past three years and posting here regularly.

When he's first introduced, Alyx lays out some very basic background information and as the game progresses, characters inform you, directly, of his origins and just who he really is.

"Oh no, rocket is not Kleiners!"

Because we all know building a silo from scratch in the proximity of the Citadel with the Combine remaining unaware of it is an easy task. Or maybe not.

"Oh no, silo was not blown up by the Combine!"

To quote Alyx Vance: "The Combine is slow to wake, but once it's up, you don't want to get in their way". This short sentence from the intro to Half-Life 2 (yes, I consider Point Insertion a large introductory sequence) is enough to logically deduce that the Resistance simply kept a low profile.

Not to mention that the silo would be of little interest to the Combine, because, realistically, they rolled over the United States and it's nuclear silos. Why would they concern themselves with a decaying, Soviet missile silo that's propably damaged beyond repair anyway.

Also, Breen waiting for the resistance to develop Local Teleportation Technology.

 

[Para]

I'm not looking for wildlife, I'm looking for the alleged Xen infestation (other than just ant lions which were plenty) which was the reason after portal storms that made people move to centralized locations.

Yes, I avoided Episode 2 spoilers and steered away from this site when the hype machine started for Ep2. Didn't do that with Episode 1 and was a bit let down by it because of that. Episode 1 was solid experience though. And it's still not about Magnusson himself, it's about the whole point of his existence here. There isn't even subtle clues to pick and digest about him like there was in HL2 and Ep1 about just about anything.

So basically you're suggesting that Combine is just dumb enough to assimilate other races, take their technology and conquer their worlds but not to look around for possible sources of incursion in advance? Well OK, if its their first time they've met resistance this could be considered possible but the thing is that Combine is a sum of what, remnants of several dozen civilizations which would mean that the multiverse is filled with pansies and human are the first ones to resist. Then again, if the others didn't resist why did they bother building guns at all? Maybe they're all French...

Taking care of such silo would've been easy anyway, being Combine they could've just infest the place with Xen creatures, for example there's lots of nice living space for antlion grubs which most definately would stop any sort of rebel takeover or at least slow them down. As a bonus that could've been even used as an explanation why Combine isn't there but how instead the rebels came and swept the place clean for their own use.

Biggest problem of Episode 2 to me is that it's more of the same. Surely in this case "the same" means quite high quality but I always want progression when I play games which are sequels to something. Episode 2 screams "not even trying" at few corners, especially on the plot side like I've already said.

Good example of "not even trying" is the following: Considering that Gordon took down only one Citadel out of at least 17 there should soon be literally pouring all things Combine around but instead we're given this view of a few dozen this and that wandering around looking for their masters. Currently Combine doesn't seem like a force that could conquer a pile of garbage which is very disappointing and I hope this changes in Episode 3.

 

[Laivasse]

I take your point that the sense of intensity and large-scale danger could be upped a bit, but I, and many others, felt that Ep2 was a rock-solid enough narrative that these impressions never entered our heads during gameplay.

And they are, after all, just peripheral story issues which can be disregarded when talking about the quality of the game. We can still assume that there is lots of Xen fauna - just that they are somewhere else; that there are lots of Combine forces but they are massing elsewhere.

I'd quite like to see the stakes raised for Ep3. It would be interesting to have a 7-Hour-War-esque scenario start to develop. That could take us back to the atmosphere of HL1 with the interdimensional walls crumbling to pieces and a sense of hopelessness pervading everything. It's not something I found lacking in Ep2 though, since it felt like a perfectly self-contained chapter of the story.

 

[Asknoone]

Good example of "not even trying" is the following: Considering that Gordon took down only one Citadel out of at least 17 there should soon be literally pouring all things Combine around but instead we're given this view of a few dozen this and that wandering around looking for their masters.

You're taking on the Overwatch. An arm of the Combine - the human sector. Most of them have never even been off-world, let alone taken part in a conquest. You aren't really facing the actual Combine - that's why they worked so hard to close the portal. All other Citadels are now inactive, and alongside problems in the centres they also have to re-establish communication. Half-life takes place on a day to day basis. Really, you're not putting much effort into understanding the whys.

 

[ranmafan]

Yeah, I kinda get the feeling the Combine as a whole is not putting much effort into conquering the Earth. They just really want our technology and are willing to pick our brains for it, but as a physical specimen we're not much. We've sacrificed a lot of physical prowess for our brains.