Zoloft doesn't make me feel better anymore.

Talking to people helps. I have unlimited calling with my best friend. It's great.
 
Bad^Hat said:
You know what, maybe it'd just be easier if I put it this way: depression is like herpes. You can pretend it's not there, but that's not going to stop the itching.
Click to expand...
I do believe depression is a type of disease, but it's so hard to imagine you know? The brain and all the body's "hormones" are a complicated thing to imagine it can be linked to behavior.
 
Saturos said:
I do believe depression is a type of disease, but it's so hard to imagine you know? The brain and all the body's "hormones" are a complicated thing to imagine it can be linked to behavior.
Click to expand...

It's all brain chemistry, and it's not really that hard to believe, is it?
 
Get some exercise. Hit the weights hard, do some running, and do it with friends. Do some social activities. Get a big group of people to go somewhere. That helps more than it sounds.

Also, this might sound completely unhelpful, but quit thinking negative thoughts :p
 
Stig we all love you. I agree with bam on this, getting some gentle exercise is great. Find a piece of nature to go to and take walks there. It's great to clear your head. Find a new awesome game, play with some of us guys online.
 
I hear they've got some nature left over Vancouver way. You should take a gentle walk there.
 
I'm starting to bike a lot more. Sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. And walking through parks in the summer is nice, especially now that I live a block and a half away from a huge, sprawling one with tons of forest and bike paths and a river running through it :D

Also, going to see my therapist in 50 minutes. I'm letting her know that I'm taking myself off of Zoloft. Things should go alright.
 
ive dealt with clinical depression my whole life without any meds (unless you count smoking pot self-medication, though I do it more for fun, I do think it helps with depression). the key is activity, positive self-reinforcement, interests, and generally keeping your head up all the time no matter how hard it is to do that.

I find that making sure I sleep enough, work out a bit so I have energy, and eating relatively healthy foods helps a whole lot. Especially in the past month and a half since my mom died, I've felt pretty ****ing awful 99% of the time with no end in sight, but I'm managing, and feelings of depression (both related to her death and everything prior to that) are definitely possible to work with even if you can't make them go away completely.

Also maybe investigate this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_John's_Wort

oh and come back to that special secret place, we miss you :( as evidenced by farrow's monthly post being in this thread
 
Update!

Today is the third Zoloft-free day in a row. I feel very light-headed, and floaty. But I also feel as if I've somehow re-integrated myself into... myself. It's an odd feeling. It's almost as if I've spent the last few years lost in my mind, consciously aware of every one of my thought processes, but not aware that I was aware of said thought processes - in essence, I was slightly insane. Now, my mind seems to have quieted, and my automatic thoughts have sunk back below the threshold of consciousness. I feel more alive, and it feels very nice :D
 
Hey Stiggie

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE


<3
 
Stigmata said:
It's almost as if I've spent the last few years lost in my mind, consciously aware of every one of my thought processes, but not aware that I was aware of said thought processes - in essence, I was slightly insane.
Click to expand...
That's almost how I feel on a daily basis right now. Not all of the time, but quite often (or at least when I notice it). It's like, I'll be doing something quite mundane, like today as I was walking down the sidewalk to return a video, and for no reason at all I suddenly... notice myself... just living. As though I became aware of what I was doing on another level, and I think to myself, "was I just doing that?" Like nothing I do ever really gets through to me, or pierces the depth that it used to; I'm just acting out my own life while somewhere inside my true consciousness is hidden away... safe from it all. The worst part is I'm not on any drugs, and haven't been for years. It's just the way I constantly placate myself, drop out of reality when I'm uncomfortable, skirt responsibility, content myself with temporary thrills and be damned with fulfillment. It's not healthy... it's no way to live, not for where I'm at. Not for where I should be, anyway.

In other news, good to hear you're feeling a bit better. Make the most of it, man. :)

Damnit, my tea got cold as I was writing that... I dwell too much.
 
Science is great, medical science is even greater, but I would never go on drugs so easily, especially the mind altering ones.


So until they invent gene therapies that can effect those stupid faulty base codes that cause us to feel irrational levels of depression or anxiety, I think people should be extremely and rightfully reluctant to use mind-bender drugs unless your condition is naturally severe.

Likewise if a drug is making you feel more deeper in depression then without, then the drug is not only not working, but doing more damage then good, so your right to get off it.


Soooooooooo many people suffer depression, anxiety, all sorts of these problems, and it seems so out of proportion compared to the mental diseases that afflict other animals that perhaps the blessing of sapience is partly down to that.
 
Bad^Hat said:
That's almost how I feel on a daily basis right now. Not all of the time, but quite often (or at least when I notice it). It's like, I'll be doing something quite mundane, like today as I was walking down the sidewalk to return a video, and for no reason at all I suddenly... notice myself... just living. As though I became aware of what I was doing on another level, and I think to myself, "was I just doing that?" Like nothing I do ever really gets through to me, or pierces the depth that it used to; I'm just acting out my own life while somewhere inside my true consciousness is hidden away... safe from it all. The worst part is I'm not on any drugs, and haven't been for years. It's just the way I constantly placate myself, drop out of reality when I'm uncomfortable, skirt responsibility, content myself with temporary thrills and be damned with fulfillment. It's not healthy... it's no way to live, not for where I'm at. Not for where I should be, anyway.

In other news, good to hear you're feeling a bit better. Make the most of it, man. :)

Damnit, my tea got cold as I was writing that... I dwell too much.
Click to expand...

That's exactly how I was.

My advice? Do a gram or two of shrooms. Not that that necessarily had anything to do with my change in consciousness.
 
Stigmata said:
That's exactly how I was.

My advice? Do a gram or two of shrooms. Not that that necessarily had anything to do with my change in consciousness.
Click to expand...

Yes, this would adequately disrupt the "funk", although not necessarily permanently.
 
Sadly, the only people I know who are likely able to hook me up with anything mind-altering are my parents. Seriously. "Mum, can I have some shrooms?" Yeah, I don't see that happening.

I'll take it under consideration, anyway. Like 70% (possible exaggeration) of the people in this town have been brought up on some kind of drug charges, so gotta be someone dishing it out. I've also had at least one 'catching up' conversation with an old school buddy around here which consisted almost entirely of: "How's it going? Got any weed?"
 
I feel like shit...

Depression is a monster, and it slowly devours what little bit i have left in myself...

Its about to be 3 in the morning, but my mind wants no rest. I tire myself out almost everyday so i can get my mind away, and to make myself sleep, but it never works. On average, i get about 4 hours of sleep a night, tossing and turning is a commonplace, and its summer...

I lie down every night, and my mind is rushed with the thoughts i try to suppress, and i ponder how my life has gone, but continue to view it through pessimistic eyes, and the images i try to forget come flowing in, the scars, cuts, pills, and blood that were in or on my body never seem to go away, and loneliness begins to take its toll...

I exercise nearly everyday, i hang out with friends, i smoke weed, but they are often brief respites from the sadness...

I used to take medication, i've been taking it since i was 13, i feel like i've tried them all. Zoloft, paxil, seroquel, its all been dumped into me at some point or another. I don't know if it did me good or bad, perhaps its the reason why i ended up in the hospital, either way, i can't afford the ones i'm taking now...

I try so hard to keep going, but sometimes i feel like i'm never gonna make it. This is my life, this is who i am, this is depression...

:(

Someday things will change, probably when i least expect it...maybe someday...
 
Thats probably one of the best descriptions of depression I have ever read.
Post saved on my PC.
 
poo poo head said:
I feel like shit...

Depression is a monster, and it slowly devours what little bit i have left in myself...

Its about to be 3 in the morning, but my mind wants no rest. I tire myself out almost everyday so i can get my mind away, and to make myself sleep, but it never works. On average, i get about 4 hours of sleep a night, tossing and turning is a commonplace, and its summer...

I lie down every night, and my mind is rushed with the thoughts i try to suppress, and i ponder how my life has gone, but continue to view it through pessimistic eyes, and the images i try to forget come flowing in, the scars, cuts, pills, and blood that were in or on my body never seem to go away, and loneliness begins to take its toll...

I exercise nearly everyday, i hang out with friends, i smoke weed, but they are often brief respites from the sadness...

I used to take medication, i've been taking it since i was 13, i feel like i've tried them all. Zoloft, paxil, seroquel, its all been dumped into me at some point or another. I don't know if it did me good or bad, perhaps its the reason why i ended up in the hospital, either way, i can't afford the ones i'm taking now...

I try so hard to keep going, but sometimes i feel like i'm never gonna make it. This is my life, this is who i am, this is depression...

:(

Someday things will change, probably when i least expect it...maybe someday...
Click to expand...

here's what the doctor prescribes.

Take Six Omega-3 tablets daily. 2 at each meal would be good, though they don't need to be taken with meals. This is the most important thing on this list. You must take them daily. Your body cannot store vitamins, minerals and nutrients.

Consider stop smoking weed for now

Only drink caffeine in the morning if it helps you wake up, and preferably not soda or coffee. Tea is actually good for you. Caffeine is a huge cause of sleep problems in many people and they don't realize it. I can't even have caffeine half way through my day or I might not be able to get to sleep.

Don't exercise too close to when it's time to go to sleep.

Make sure your room is cool when you sleep. This is very important if you are having trouble sleeping.

Settle on the ideal time for you to be awake, and get on a sleep schedule by using an alarm clock for at least 30 days and sticking to it. After 30 days, you won't need the clock anymore if you stuck with it.

Seek a free clinic. They are all over. They can talk with you and help you assess your situation.



I'm not sure but I think the free health clinic can give you a paper to fill out so you can also get medicine for about $10 a refill, and the government will pay the rest.



Be happy with any improvements. If you feel better than before, you can try incorporating marijuana again, and see if that helps or hurts.

let me know how that works out for you. Or, you can just stay miserable if you don't want to try.
 
The sheer fact that so many are and it hasn't worked out well makes me lose out hope and despair, because I was hoping one day to try them to see if they could stabilize my mood more and make me more productive because I would be happier.
 
It's interesting. Everyone says that they feel like everyone's depressed. Then everyone tells everyone else that no, it's just them. Don't say you're like everyone else or it just gets worse. But then surely that's something the depressed would say to make themselves feel better. Right? And if everyone's saying it, and everyone's depressed and everyone's taking anti-depressants... does that leave the people feeling happy as being special?
 
I've been taking Prozac for about nine months now and haven't felt this good for years. I'm more confident, more relaxed, and finally not a total recluse. See, they do work for some people.
 
Raziaar said:
The sheer fact that so many are and it hasn't worked out well makes me lose out hope and despair, because I was hoping one day to try them to see if they could stabilize my mood more and make me more productive because I would be happier.
Click to expand...

There is hope, don't give up just yet. Every persons reaction to medication is a lot different from the next. Its just the fact for me it seems things get worst sometimes (but not always)...

Examples:
Seroquel: Knocked me out cold, often woke up with zero to no energy, felt lethargic, pretty much a high powered sedative, which is what its secondary use is. However, it is the one that has probably worked the best, it just drains the energy out of me.

Paxil: was given to me in low dosage, didn't work, upped the dosage twice, not much of a change came, this was the medication i was on when i was "checked in".

Klonopin: Was given to me for a little while for my social anxiety, but they took it away from me because they considered it to be too much for my body...didn't really have enough time to see the changes in mood.

Trazadone: This is the medication i was last on, it helped a bit, but the side effects were horrendous. After about a week, i got severe akathisia (which pretty much makes you restless and you can't stop moving, almost as if your tweaked out.) They gave me more medication to counter act it.

There are about 3 or 4 other meds i remember taking, but i can't remember the names, many were generics so i don't remember what they were generics for.

As for your advice Virus, here are the details:
I exercise about an hour after i wake up for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. I am going to quit smoking in a couple of weeks because i have to have my mind in college mode again. I don't drink caffeine that much, in fact i hardly drink coffee or soda, i'm more of a water and juice guy.I try to keep my room cool, i sleep with 2 fans and sometimes my shirt is off, and my windows are open, but since my room wasn't really meant to be a room, sometimes the california heat kills, but for now its temperate. As for the free clinic, i actually recently talked to my schools health facilities to see if they can offer the medication for a cheaper price, and they will contact me within the week.

I have many outlets, i draw, i write my thoughts down on post its and put them up on my door, i play my guitar and my keyboard, i do a lot of things. My mind never wants to rest, its almost like i have to keep myself occupied in order to keep my sanity, sometimes i'm even scared to be alone.

I try not to lose hope, i did once, and i did attempt suicide a few years ago, sometimes i wish i succeeded, but most of the time I'm glad I'm still here, maybe i am destined for something amazing...

You never know, life turns around quick.
 
I have suicidal thoughts constantly, but unless something seriously manipulates my thought processes so I am acting against my normal will, I would never do it. I couldn't do it. The suicidal thoughts come from an overactive mind and stuff, not from my desire to actually do it.
 
People who don't let me occasionally express myself make me contemplate suicide.

<evil eye directed at Qonfused>
 
An artist's impression of my newly decorated room:

balconyrf2.jpg
 
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