Zombie Satellite does not do your bidding.

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MJ12

The Freeman
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Don't be alarmed. High above your heads, a zombie satellite is on the loose. OK, actually, it won't really be a bother to us earthlings. Or at least to most of us. (More on that later.) But the rogue communications satellite is wreaking havoc in Earth's orbit and does threaten to interfere with signals coming from other satellites. Here's the backstory...

The communications satellite named Galaxy 15 lost contact with ground control after a solar flare probably fried its brain. As a story from the Christian Science Monitor reports, attempts from Earth to contact the satellite have been unsuccessful. But instead of just dying and drifting off, the satellite has continued to orbit the Earth, even though it refuses to receive instructions from its owner,Intelsat.

For the science nerds out there: The satellite is still on, with its "C-band telecommunications payload still functioning even as it has left its assigned orbital slot of 133 degrees west longitude 36,000 kilometers over the equator." Translation: Not good.

What's confounding scientists is that even though the satellite is toast, it continues to operate at full power, but with nobody telling it what to do. Why on earth we should care: The "zombiesat" (as its known in space talk) could steal a working sat signal, and interrupt programming for its customers. Yes, that means our television programs. The horror. As the blog Boing Boing points out, Galaxy 15 was one of the satellites that carried the Syfy channel's signal. And now it's met an end good enough to be its own Syfy show.
Click to expand...

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/93656?fp=1
 
Hahahahaha. Syfy channel sucks. Except some of the original movies. Pure gold.
 
When this thing starts singing daisy bell, I'm running into the mountains.
 
When it start shuffling up to other satellites and converts them that's when I'm running to the hills
 
...instead of just dying and drifting off, the satellite has continued to orbit the Earth, even though it refuses to receive instructions from its owner...
Click to expand...
Wow, some reporter fails at basic physics.*

*Disclaimer: I am aware of several factors which could slowly cause the orbit of such a satellite to be changed over time (see Skylab for one), however the phrasing suggests something much more stupid. It is also possible this article is supposed to be stupid, in which case I'll admit they trolled me fairly well.
 
I for one welcome our earth orbit overlord.

Why did you choose an article from a Christian source, not to spark a religious discussion? Just curious...

Anyway, I'm curious as to how this would actually "steal" another working sat signal...it's as if there's a fail safe that wasn't properly thought out.

and now I will listen to Dave Matthews' Satellite.
 
According to Wikipedia, Christian Science Monitor is an historic and credible scientific source. [CITATION NEEDED]
 
Avoidist said:
According to Wikipedia, Christian Science Monitor is an historic and credible scientific source. [CITATION NEEDED]
Click to expand...

I'm not doubting the credibility, I just find it odd that this was the more popular source for this debacle...unless the OP reads CSM frequently.
 
Thank you for bolding and underlining ZT. I just wish it was italicized. Italics are so cool.

But like Riom says. We must nuke it. If I've learned anything, its that all of our problems in outerspace can be solved by nuking them. It may be Skynet, or it may steal my tv signal and interrupt this week's Breaking Bad episode. Either way, I'll be damned if we let it survive to accomplish any of its goals.
 
Tyguy said:
Why did you choose an article from a Christian source, not to spark a religious discussion? Just curious...
Click to expand...

This is a Christian Nation.

Actually, it's just the source that popped up on my email news feed.
 
ZT said:
This is a Christian Nation.
Click to expand...

True, forgive my naivete.

"Then God said, Let us make human beings in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground, and rogue satellites" Genesis 1:26

shit...
 
Tyguy said:
Anyway, I'm curious as to how this would actually "steal" another working sat signal...it's as if there's a fail safe that wasn't properly thought out.
Click to expand...

Steal? More like fail to release. It's still transmitting, so if it's operating on the same band, it would cause interference in a replacement.


At least that's what I think they meant. I'm not sure why it would make any difference since it will be broadcasting the same signal.

They made it sound like it had become aware and was going to start hacking other satellites.
 
wait

dont you see it?

ITS SHORT CIRCUIT IN SPACE!

a satelite that got "fried" by a solar plasma stuff but still functioning! its alive!!

number 15!!!
 
"Thou shalt not create a machine in the likeness of a human mind."

-Orange Catholic Bible
 
<RJMC> said:
wait

dont you see it?

ITS SHORT CIRCUIT IN SPACE!

a satelite that got "fried" by a solar plasma stuff but still functioning! its alive!!

number 15!!!
Click to expand...

Oh good god, this was my FIRST REACTION when reading the story.

I think we're onto something. I'll be Stephanie Spec and you be Newton Crosby.
 
Why has nobody suspected Aliens? Aliens did it!
 
Why does she not simply tear the judge's head off?
 
Keep it up and I'll report you for spamming Raz.
 
What's the point of underlining when you do it to half of the ****ing text?
 
Remus said:
Explain to me how that joke is relevant to this thread. *alien arms*
Click to expand...

It's relevant to your comment that Aliens like to watch television too. Our television.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_Aliens_Attack

Alien Arms?

ak724l.jpg
 
Is that a stick up that rat's ass?
 
I see this already.
Alright, I can watch Mythbusters on Discovery...
The local news on channel 2....
Cutest Pets on Animal Planet.....
or AF#^#$**(*)(EERRR)--=== on the Health Channel.
 
I'm starting the Church of the Zombie Satellite, any converts?
 
"Zombiesat" ... it's already got its Syfy Original Movie moniker! God help us ... god help us all.
 
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