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Oh, I'm not really talking about the amount of people that will see it, more about the judgement that both parties are making. The day women can do anything without some idiot commenting on our appearance despite the fact that it seldom has anything to do with our actions will be a happy one for...

No. No. Do you ever read anything properly? I was saying that by publicly rating her appearance, you sink to the same level she is at by publicly criticizing her date.

I've always disagreed with that policy. You're sinking to her level.

Logic, please, anyone?

She used not look like that. She used to be quite good looking. I think she's on antidepressants at the moment, which can sometimes cause weight gain. So Stern, there's a good chance it has nothing to do with food.

Sinead O' Connor. She's a very famous Irish singer.

What has this got to do with it? I can see her point. They just weren't well matched, is all. That's allowed.

Shit, that must be so scary. I don't know what I would do if I woke up and everything started shaking, I think I would just completely lose it. Fortunately, Cork isn't really on any kind of fault line, although apparently we are at slight risk of tsunami. That would be worse than an earthquake...

I think that if I had to die young, that's the way I'd choose to go....in a haze of mystery and intrigue.

That costs monies. Which I can't spare, as I'm impoverished. Which is why I need so badly to bum a printer-scanner-photocopier off somebody.

Hell no. Seriously. All I want is to print some stuff without shelling out 70 bucks.

Exactly. I mean, we're all grown-ups here, it's not like I need them to be together. Actually, when they split up, my relationship with my mother drastically improved. And soon I'll be moving out, and most likely never really coming back permanently. So now I have my printer-scanner-photocopier...

Well...yeah, kinda. I mean, I never really thought their break-up was much of a tragedy, nor do I consider their (tenuous) reconciliation to be a huge cause for celebration. I'm neutral. I don't mind what they do as long as it works and they're happy, and in the meantime, I have problems of my...

So I went to my dad and I was all like 'Oh where did you get that printer-scanner-photocopier because it's really nice and I need to get one for my apartment and I could use some printer-scanner-photocopier shopping advice" and he told me where he got it and then talked for like five minutes...

But people take photos for lots of reasons other than aesthetics. Anyway, I think that photo is beautiful. I've set it as my desktop background.

Perhaps I should have been more specific: I have a feather-down duvet on my bed. (I'm differentiating here now between a duvet, which is a large cotton sack full of feathers which you put on your bed, and a quilt, which is made of three layers of cotton and filling such as wool. I tend to just...

A happy world where I have a fitted sheet under me, a feather-down quilt over me and none of this nonsense that they have in hotels with all the many layers of sheets and blankets that get all tucked into the mattress so when you get in under them you're kind of trapped underneath the...

Flat sheets are a ****ing nuisance sent to plague us from hell. Fitted sheets are way, way, way, way easier to put on. However, if people for some mad reason prefer to have flat sheets, they should be allowed to have them. But if it's just hotels I guess that's ok.

That sounds AWESOME.

Asking my mother for stuff is a different story altogether. As a general rule, I simply don't. It would be nice to have my own one, I guess. Above all else, I'd be able to keep it forever as you say. Ooooooh maybe I could mention to my father that I intend to buy myself a...