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If I built a time machine, I would go back in time in order to tell myself how to build a time machine.

And before crabs devoured every flippin goobery headful, I jump kicked, leaving my newly opened presents, quickly requiring some totally unibrowed Valve worker x-ray your zombie.

Yes. No-scoped crosshairs.

It sure is going to be a strange weekend for any new gamers. They'll discover that there are only two classes seeing much use, and when they try to join a game on the hugely popular "achievements_spysniper" map they'll have to figure out why red and blue players are killing each other in...