4 Chineese Jokes

[qckbeam]

I feel rejected.

There is enough lovin' in this thread to go around...come a little closer to the fire, baby! :naughty:

 

[Steve]

I feel rejected.

*smooch!*

...hey! don't be gay, dude!

 

[Cybersol]

heh heh heh, nice joke. first and second poster

 

[Prince of China]

There is enough lovin' in this thread to go around...come a little closer to the fire, baby! :naughty:

:naughty:

 

[Bad^Hat]

I'm feeling fat and sassy.

 

[Tr0n]

*smooch!*

...hey! don't be gay, dude!

And you was bitching about me not giving you love! :|

 

[Steve]

And you was bitching about me not giving you love! :|

You knew what this was...

 

[kirovman]

I get the joke. I Chinese, most people say a "r" sound when they pronounce the letter "l". Most Japanese people drive Catalacs while the others drive mostly Lincons and Chevrolays.
And second of all, what the hell? Chinese people don't hate Japanese people.
That's bull-shit.

Of course many of them do, there is a great deal of resentment. Maybe they don't say it so much, but I been to china and lived with my Chinese girlfriend for 3 months. And my friends, from different backgrounds in China, most hate Japanese quite passionately, but they wouldn't say it without a bit of prompted discussion ie how do you feel about the Japanese?.
They have a word for them Dong Yang gui zi meaning east devil.

Ever heard of the Rape of Nanjing too? A lot of the chinese haven't forgiven them.

Goto the chinadaily (www.chinadaily.com.cn) forums also if you still don't believe there is a lot of hatred. They have plenty of posts.

Not that I agree with any of it, I am mearly stating my observations in the past 3 years of intermitant living in China, as a European.

 

[kirovman]

If you don't believe me, look:
http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/forum.shtml?fid=A48

 

[mortiz]

The thing I don't understand is China is larger and has (and I assume has had for quite some time) a larger Army, so I thought it would have been the Japanese getting kicked around by the Chinese back in the olden days?

 

[Steve]

The thing I don't understand is China is larger and has (and I assume has had for quite some time) a larger Army, so I thought it would have been the Japanese getting kicked around by the Chinese back in the olden days?

It ain't about the size of the army (which is 1 million people, by the way..yeesh), it's about the trainng of the troops, the technology available, and the amount of resources at the country's diposal.

Besides...why would China want to invade that tiny island? Also, if I remember correctly, during WWII (I assume that's what you're talking about when you say "olden days"), Japan only managed to take control of Manchuria, Korea, and bits and pieces of the other southeastern areas of China.

 

[exodusuk]

wierd.

 

[kirovman]

It ain't about the size of the army (which is 1 million people, by the way..yeesh), it's about the trainng of the troops, the technology available, and the amount of resources at the country's diposal.

Besides...why would China want to invade that tiny island?

Well they are concerned with that tiny island Taiwan. And modern day chinese people are worried Japan will revert to their wartime tendancies, as Japan has a lack of natural resources while China is rich in oil, gold and other things, so they believe Japan will want to expand in the future, once again.
Maybe you can put their almost unanimous beliefs down to the communist party education.
You have the freedom to express your voice in China, unless it threatens the party power.

Also something I heard a lot about in China, they call overseas chinese ABC (American born chinese) or BBC (British Born Chinese) and they have a joke that they are banana - yellow on the outside and white on the inside.

Sounds like China will be a world leader in the future ~50 years, they have the manpower and willpower to do it.

 

[mortiz]

It ain't about the size of the army (which is 1 million people, by the way..yeesh), it's about the trainng of the troops, the technology available, and the amount of resources at the country's diposal.

Besides...why would China want to invade that tiny island? Also, if I remember correctly, during WWII (I assume that's what you're talking about when you say "olden days"), Japan only managed to take control of Manchuria, Korea, and bits and pieces of the other southeastern areas of China.

Yeah, China might not have paid much attention to Japan in terms of benefit from invading to begin with, but after China was invaded by Japan in the first place I would have thought China would have retalliated some how.

By "Olden Days" I mean the past in general, tensions between Japan and China have existed for a long long time, since way before WW2, and since China is the larger country I would think it would have been China who'd have come out on top in that relationship as oppose to Japan. Although I suppose you could argue that China is infact made up of many different provinces which 'were' hard to unite where as Japan has always been distinctly more 'collected' than China.

Also Japan wouldn't really stand much of a serious chance against China now if they were to war, since sanctions placed on Japan by the U.S. seriously limits the size of Japan's army's and means they have no access to nuclear weapons. Where China's Army is enormous as has been said and they posses nuclear weapons.

 

[Tr0n]

Yeah, China might not have paid much attention to Japan in terms of benefit from invading to begin with, but after China was invaded by Japan in the first place I would have thought China would have retalliated some how.

By "Olden Days" I mean the past in general, tensions between Japan and China have existed for a long long time, since way before WW2, and since China is the larger country I would think it would have been China who'd have come out on top in that relationship as oppose to Japan. Although I suppose you could argue that China is infact made up of many different provinces which 'were' hard to unite where as Japan has always been distinctly more 'collected' than China.

Also Japan wouldn't really stand much of a serious chance against China now if they were to war, since sanctions placed on Japan by the U.S. seriously limits the size of Japan's army's and means they have no access to nuclear weapons. Where China's Army is enormous as has been said and they posses nuclear weapons.

Well don't forget....US will have the back of Japan if China does ever try that.

 

[Steve]

Although I suppose you could argue that China is infact made up of many different provinces which 'were' hard to unite where as Japan has always been distinctly more 'collected' than China.

Exactly. Over the past couple thousand years, China has been involved in too much civil war and various other kinds inner turmoil to really "come out on top" against Japan. Jeez, Romance of the Three Kingdoms is such a great book...

 

[Gray Fox]

Chine is not rich in oil.
Furthermore China still has a relativly opressive regime compared to the US and Europe and a lot of other countries, so they need their army to keep the communist party in power although the enemy of your enemy is your friend would come in to play and china would be more united, but still.

But what do you think about the hading over of Hong Kong to china by Brittain, why do you think the they did that, and do you think it is right.
I mean I'm all for giving colonies back to their native country, and I was happy at first cause I thought it would have a positieve effect, bringing the country closer to a democracy and kapitalism, but now I found out that because of the handing over china stopped some free market experiments in other parts of the country, and if they waited a little bit and gave it later back it would be better, there would be more areas with free market and more democracy.

 

[kirovman]

Chine is not rich in oil.

I meant relative richness, they have large reserves and possible undiscovered regions. Obviously nowhere near as rich as the middle east, but they are officially an "oil producing nation", unlike Japan. Saudi Arabia produces the most oil in the world, and I think China produces just under half of their oil, China is in the top 10 oil producers, but they still need to import loads, obviously, due to their increasing domestic demands as their economy develops.

China also has 10% the proved reserves of Saudi Arabia... that is higher than the USA. It is 10th in the world, when it comes to reserves.

Also they have lots of coal (more and more obselete with the coming of the modern age, but China still uses lots of it.

Other resources they have is lots of land, and a big population.

Now Japan is an island with high population density, so there is the fear amongst chinese people that Japan wants all these things (except the high population of course).

Me, I think they don't need to worry.