A jerk almost got me in trouble

Tyguy

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This "incident" happened at school some years back that I for some reason never told anyone about and just recently recalled.

I'm sitting in my dorm room doing some homework and I get that inkling us gentleman get, the one where you need to fire off some knuckle children as fast as humanly possibly.

Everything goes according to plan, I finish in a messy fashion (i never remember tissues) but I figured a towel or dirty article of clothing would suffice. After I put everything away and buckle up the fire alarm goes off..."just in time", I thought.

As we are evacuating the dorm I notice a line starting to emerge at the door. Apparently somebody had used the fire alarm pull station and they were trying to figure out who it was. This was done by checking our hands with a black light (I guess the alarm stains your hands for that very reason).

I think nothing of it until I'm about to be checked...then I realize:

"I HAVE CUM ON MY ****ING HAND..."

Well, of course a few spots lit up like fireworks on my hand...especially in one certain area of the hand that would probably come into contact with the fire alarm. The guy looks at me, looks down, looks at me again....blank stare for 5 seconds..."all set".

I don't know if it's supposed to reflect some crazy color or something but I was pretty sure I'd have to explain myself at some point to someone of importance...

Anyway, that's how I almost got kicked out of school for pleasuring myself.
 
why dont you just say you faped? it will prove you didnt do it cuz you where faping so no need for checks
 
who's the jerk? oh I get it you're the jerk. or the jerk is you or something


also blacklight shows all bodily fluids the same. so if it's blood or semen it'll look the same. he probably saw you sweating and decided it was semen
 
I'm sure you weren't the first to be in this situation.
 
Of the last 6-8 fire alarms in the dorms at my school, I've stayed in to ditch almost all of them. **** their stupid ass drills at 10 in the damn morning. Only couple times I went out was cuz my ears knew they would fall off at that time.
 
No I'm the jerk!

jerk.jpg


no, steve martin's the jerk.
 
you can get expelled if you jerk on school grounds? where do you live...the vatican?
 
He might've gotten expelled if they thought he'd pulled the fire alarm, not for jerking it. Hence the blacklight check.
 
When the unnecessary "lack of tissues" part of the story came in, I thought the big twist in the story was going to be that you spunked on your roommate's t-shirt or something and that he was a jerk but he didn't notice and walked round with the t-shirt on and got laughed out of the school thus establishing you as King of the Playground.

29f6y5g.jpg



P.S. Go search "king bob recess" on Google. You won't regret it.
 
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