A question for all you men-folk...

hakojo

hakojo

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So say there's this girl you see about twice a week, whom you have sort of a thing for. You've gone out (that is to say, gone somewhere alone together) twice in the past, although she insisted on splitting the cost of food and/or gas both times. Although lately she's been trying to make herself unattractive to you by bitching about her period, her job, and her dog's tumors, not to mention loudly and repeatedly declaring her wish to somehow have sex with GLaDOS (among other female fictional characters), you're not getting the message. It's not that you aren't a nice guy, it's just that you have a lot of growing up to do still, and this particular girl doesn't want to get near your family issues with a 20-foot pole. Also, you have a fursona.

What could this girl possibly say to you to make you stop pursuing her romantically, and yet not make you cry like the pantywaisted man-baby you are?
 
Didn't we have a thread just like this by Warped?

Same answer to this one.

Just be absolutely clear and honest with him.

Edit: And you were the first person to answer Warped's thread... And to quote you directly, "it's best to just be up front"

What made you think there was a better solution to this?

What made you think HL2.net could provide you with such a thing!?
 
Just tell him you don't want anything to do with him.

Politely...
 
Stop trying to make yourself unappealing to him and just end it!
 
Hmm, one time a girl I liked threw mud at my face. That worked very well.
 
15357 said:
Hmm, one time a girl I liked threw mud at my face. That worked very well.
Click to expand...

But sweet girls aren't for you, eh? You hard-fighting, hard-farting, ugly, ugly son of a-


You know you still liked that girl!
 
Raziaar said:
Stop trying to make yourself unappealing to him and just end it!
Click to expand...

The thing is, there's nothing to really *end*. It's not like I've actually been in a relationship with him - as it stands now, we see each other in class, he tries to get my attention about random shit, and I try to not lead him on while not being rude by outright ignoring him or anything. If he actually asked me if I liked him *that* way, I would of course tell him no, but as of now it's kind of this tenuous thing where I'm trying to cement my position as the quirky friend.

I'm also coming at this off of another blew-up-in-the-hangar relationship where the guy was awesome except for the fact that I suspected he was an adult baby, in which I did end up giving him a very polite "sorry, but no." The not really having anything to say 'no' to is what's frustrating me.
 
hakojo said:
not to mention loudly and repeatedly declaring her wish to somehow have sex with GLaDOS (among other female fictional characters)
Click to expand...
Well. For starters, putting forward the idea that you would be willing to have lesbian sex with a gynoid who is into bondage is generally not unattractive to men.
 
Warped wasn't in a relationship with the fat girl in his thread, either.

Who said anything about saying 'no' or 'ending' anything?

Tell. Him. What. You. Need. To. Tell. Him.

There's no magical way to not make him feel sad. It's part of life, he'll move on. That's seriously the least of your worries.
 
Maybe he just wants to be friends? I mean, have you ever thought that this guy might be in need of friends and is trying to desperately create some good friends so that he won't be lonely for the rest of his miserable life?

Just ask him to clarify. Then you can say no.
 
Viperidae said:
Well. For starters, putting forward the idea that you would be willing to have lesbian sex with a gynoid who is into bondage is generally not unattractive to men.
Click to expand...

Really? In my experience, it's always okay up to the lesbian bondage part, but when the robots get involved it somehow becomes wrong....

Anyway, I guess next time he randomly injects a 'you're so awesome!' or 'I love you!' into a conversation, I'll just stop him and ask him exactly what he means by it, and hopefully it won't go as badly as that one time I told him a DVD he had was bootlegged. -sigh-
 
Create your own fursona which is his fursona's natural predator. Snarl whenever he enters your territory.
 
OMG the drama!

Also, fursona? I don't even want to know...
 
hakojo said:
'you're so awesome!' or 'I love you!' ... hopefully it won't go as badly as that one time I told him a DVD he had was bootlegged.
Click to expand...
This guy is way too much of a tryhard. Why do you hang out with him?
 
Viperidae said:
Why do you hang out with him?
Click to expand...

He's in one of my classes, and I was trying to be social for once by actually talking to my classmates. He's quite attractive, and he seemed nice enough at first; the fursona thing didn't come out for another couple of weeks.

Actually, it's not so much the fursona as the fact that he actually wants a fursuit. And that he'll need to think of a good place to hide it from his mom when he gets one.

...I'm just going to start issuing basic questionnaires about these sorts of things when I start talking to people. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
 
189.jpg


...not sure if troll

Have you tried, you know... just ****ing telling him? If there's anything I learned in my romantic history, it's that honesty - even if heartbreaking, is always appreciated by both sexes. The right thing to do is just have a conversation with him in which you are completely honest, deliberate and direct.

"Sorry, dude, I'm just not interested. We can talk about it if you want"

The 'talk about it' part is, of course, optional, but usually avoids rawness considering you have a class with this bro.
 
hakojo said:
The thing is, there's nothing to really *end*. It's not like I've actually been in a relationship with him - as it stands now, we see each other in class, he tries to get my attention about random shit, and I try to not lead him on while not being rude by outright ignoring him or anything. If he actually asked me if I liked him *that* way, I would of course tell him no, but as of now it's kind of this tenuous thing where I'm trying to cement my position as the quirky friend.
Click to expand...
You could say something like "I don't know what kind of ideas you've got about us, but I want to the flirting to stop." Just be firm and nice. You know, scrunch up your lips as if to say "I understand your pain/sorry about your loss". This has the advantage of giving him a way out to keep his dignity. He might try and pretend that it isn't a big deal that way.

But it's a risk; it might make you more desirable since you are confident enough to know that he wants more from you. :p And it would be the creepy kind of desire, where he won't get over it.

Maybe a better option would be to find a reason to slap him in the face. This is an astoundingly effective way to end any ideas he's got (and yes still remain casual acquaintances, or even friends if you desire). Just so you know, it wouldn't work the same if you were in an intimate relationship with him.

If you need ideas, for example, if he flirts or says something inappropriate or puts his hands on you. Not that it would be a bad idea, but you don't have to slap him hard at all, because your body language/facial expression will be dealing the blow. He'll probably say something like "damn... ...sorry." Give him a moment, then you can act like it never happened, and say something a friend would say to another.
 
BabyHeadCrab said:
If there's anything I learned in my romantic history, it's that honesty - even if heartbreaking, is always appreciated by both sexes. The right thing to do is just have a conversation with him in which you are completely honest, deliberate and direct.
Click to expand...

Totally agree. The weird part is the trying to find an opportunity in casual conversation, because this really isn't the sort of thing that should have to be made into a big production.
 
Every time you see him, talk about a guy/girl you like, and make sure he knows it's not him. Not only does it signal that you aren't interested, but it should be a repellent to get him to leave you alone.
 
hakojo said:
Totally agree. The weird part is the trying to find an opportunity in casual conversation, because this really isn't the sort of thing that should have to be made into a big production.
Click to expand...

There's never a holy or appropriate moment - that's a common misconception rooted in dead-end folk tales daydreamed by neurotic archetypes, not real people. It will always be awkward and painful for both parties. Just get it over with and it'll be behind you - you'll feel so so so much better.

VirusType2 said:
Every time you see him, talk about a guy/girl you like, and make sure he knows it's not him. Not only does it signal that you aren't interested, but it should be a repellent to get him to leave you alone.
Click to expand...

This is precisely what you should not do, aka 'playing games'. Kate Hudson demonstrates this in her lauded filmography of brilliant, zany romantic comedies. Being deceptive, indirect or dishonest in your behavior elicits a dishonest communication mechanic. Dishonest behavior perpetuates dishonest interaction and unhappiness in these situations. It's a vicious cycle best left to the likes of teen movie actors.
 
Thanks y'all. The thing that drives me nuts about this whole stupid situation is that it's not like this is all new to me or anything - this is like, my third guy who seemed nice but was later revealed to have some horrible, game-breaking secret, and I was able to let the other two go pretty easily just by saying "I don't like you that way, please stop your advances" before anything got too serious. I should be able to do the same thing here, but I feel like I'm about to go kick a puppy or something.

Next time he starts in on the crazy affection, I'll just ask once and for all what his deal is and see if we can get this sorted without too big a fuss.
 
BabyHeadCrab said:
This is precisely what you should not do, aka 'playing games'. Kate Hudson demonstrates this in her lauded filmography of brilliant, zany romantic comedies. Being deceptive, indirect or dishonest in your behavior elicits a dishonest communication mechanic. Dishonest behavior perpetuates dishonest interaction and unhappiness in these situations. It's a vicious cycle best left to the likes of teen movie actors.
Click to expand...
She's not trying to be happy with him, she's trying to lose him.

I still say you should slap him. Slap everyone. It's so final. Not only will he get the message without any awkward conversation and awkward after-effects (like every time you see him), he'll dislike you slightly, but still respect you and be friendly. That's exactly what you want.

The physical pain of the slap probably takes his mind of the emotional pain - the fact that he just got overlooked for good. It's also a bit mysterious which means he won't be hurt or whatever; he won't know why you don't like him. (as opposed to telling him he's a childish furry or something). It's really merciful.


Maybe some of you will disagree, but I just know I've been slapped before and I know how it feels and what it means.
 
all that being said however, I suggest yiffing with him at least once
 
He's a werewolf, so maybe I should tell him I'm a vampire? :3

I'll keep the slapping in my arsenal for if this goes south.
 
hakojo said:
So say there's this girl you see about twice a week, whom you have sort of a thing for. You've gone out (that is to say, gone somewhere alone together) twice in the past, although she insisted on splitting the cost of food and/or gas both times. Although lately she's been trying to make herself unattractive to you by bitching about her period, her job, and her dog's tumors, not to mention loudly and repeatedly declaring her wish to somehow have sex with GLaDOS (among other female fictional characters), you're not getting the message. It's not that you aren't a nice guy, it's just that you have a lot of growing up to do still, and this particular girl doesn't want to get near your family issues with a 20-foot pole. Also, you have a fursona.

What could this girl possibly say to you to make you stop pursuing her romantically, and yet not make you cry like the pantywaisted man-baby you are?
Click to expand...
You're being a pantywaisted woman-baby bitch, you know. Don't act like an asshole to a guy that you say is nice, just say that you aren't interested in taking things any further.
 
Oliver and I are experts on this - trust us. He and I have been through many "peaks and valleys", if you know what I mean... ;)
 
Tell him your into girls,

Or

Snog his best mate
 
See Naph, I told you she wasn't interested.
 
Give up. Just have unprotected sex with him until you get pregnant then enter into a loveless marriage.
 
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