A serious talk about my relationship with my Girl friend...

[ApocalypseNow]

Ok, 1st off we have been together for little longer then a month and I already think are relationship is going kinda wierd...

The problem is, I think she would cheat on me if had the chance to do so with someone else she really liked... Shes just that kind of person... Like last night at my friend bobbies party, she had a few drinks, and started hanging out with my friend bobby... and I think she likes him. She really likes guys who play guitar really well, which bobbies does, and well heres a quote from her that she said to her friend on that subject.

"i dunno theres just something about guys who are good at guitar... theyre ****ing HOTT!! but they have to be good at it!"

I kinda cleaned it up seeing how it had a few names mentioned.... but she says stuff like that all the time that kinda stabs straight into my heart...

She plays guitar but I don't...

Anyways at the party she said a few things to my friend that set off a few alarms in my head.

I have come down to the conclusion that she loves me with 1/2 of her emotion.. and thinks about other people sometimes with the other half....

Like she counts on me as a person she can trust, and someone to shares all her problems with but shes only half devoted to me...
I know she still loves me and needs me but I don't want someone to only be half devoted to me when I am fully devoted to them!
I think in a relationship a couple should be fully devoted to each other...

So I have come down to this:

Dump her right now, and stay completely away from her and meet new people and live the rest of my life with someone hopefully better... but, this would end up hurting her and me very much and I would seriously have no clue what she would do, becuase right now she really depressed because of her moms a bitch to her all the time... I'm kinda of her only escape into somewhere that she can forget about her problems and have a good time...

Or stay with her and hope for the best and maybe end up being hurt really bad in the end...

I like her alot but shes been kinda like this since we started going out...

I think she cheated on her old boy friend... becuase I knew that while she was together with he last boy friend, she was kinda messing around with another guy and we she broke up with her boy friend, she imediately started hanging out with him... (It wasn't sex but kinda close to.)
And when ever I would bring stuff about this up, she tries to shy away because she knows that answers im looking for.

The one guy that she messed around with is asshole jerk type (Its not like hes better then me because I could seriously beat his ass but hes kinda my friend.), I seriously think should would rather be with him more then me, but becuase he only wants to mess around with her and not have a really emotional relationship it make my girl go crazy with jealously....

What Im afraid of is staying with her and growing to love her just to have her cheat on me or something else that could scar me... So if I broke up now it wouldn't really be as painful as later on...

I really want to talk to her about this but I don't have a good idea how to get into it... Like I need to let her know that if she ever messed around with another guy while we were going out it would kill me!

I think the biggest problem is that are interpretation of what a relationship is, is different...

I really feel like im being used... Like she just uses me as a pawn to get everything else she wants....

Any suggestions on what I should do?

 

[Fat Tony!]

Although im not really one who has much experience and knowledge. I have to say stick with her, she could still love you. And if she doesnt then well i hate to say it but its good practice to deal with rejection

 

[ApocalypseNow]

Although im not really one who has much experience and knowledge. I have to say stick with her, she could still love you. And if she doesnt then well i hate to say it but its good practice to deal with rejection

I know she cares for me but, I really need her full devotion to stay with her... because you really shouldn't half-ass anything, especially a relationship...

 

[Cutey_Kaite]

Long posts make my head hurt

On topic:
Stay with her, and TALK to her about this

 

[The Dark Elf]

sounds like she's just with you for the convienience, she wants someone to fall back on and your it.. To be honest I'd let her go, your just gonna get hurt the way its going, best to get out now and start getting over her, if she really cares about you then she'll come back, but right now. Best your out of it mate. Sorry that thats unlikely what you want to hear, but its the best tihng you could do, she doesn't seem sure what she wants, in a way she's using you.

 

[LoneDeranger]

Again the guitar thing! I swear, if a girl ever brings up a guitar during a conversation again, I'm gona break up with her right then and there.

So my advice is:

TO GUYS: If she starts talking about guitar and you don't play guitar, WATCH OUT! Definatelly a red flag.

TO GIRLS: Stop it with the fscking guitar thing, FFS!! There are millions of nice guys who don't play the guitar in the world.

 

[ApocalypseNow]

sounds like she's just with you for the convienience, she wants someone to fall back on and your it.. To be honest I'd let her go, your just gonna get hurt the way its going, best to get out now and start getting over her, if she really cares about you then she'll come back, but right now. Best your out of it mate. Sorry that thats unlikely what you want to hear, but its the best tihng you could do, she doesn't seem sure what she wants, in a way she's using you.

Thank you for helping me put a few things into some words... your exactly right, shes doesnt know what she wants....

 

[ComradeBadger]

I agree with Fenric.

I've been in similar situations. Best to get out now

 

[Warbie]

Be yourself and don't be afraid to show your emotions. Don't to be too needy and clingy - as nothing turns a girl off more. Give her space to be herself but don't appear to be indifferent.

Decide whether you can trust her and stick to your decision. If you think she's trust worthy then stop worrying about her cheating. If you can't trust her, or stop worring about her being unfaithful, then end it now.

Many problems with relationships are all in the mind.

 

[Deadline]

Be yourself and don't be afraid to show your emotions. Don't to be too needy and clingy - as nothing turns a girl off more. Give her space to be herself but don't appear to be indifferent.

Decide whether you can trust her and stick to your decision. If you think she's trust worthy then stop worrying about her cheating. If you can't trust her, or stop worring about her being unfaithful, then end it now.

Many problems with relationships are all in the mind.

Yea, definatly talk to her about it, but if that doesn't do anything and she keeps acting that way... I would tell you to drop her right there.

Well either way you go, good luck.

 

[Top Secret]

Talk to her. She doesn't want to talk about it, leave her. Be up front. Don't try and slide it under. Be straight forward. She shys away, or won't talk about it, turn, and walk out the door.

 

[Zeus]

Na na na na- na na na- hey hey hey- good bye....


You don't want to end up like that guy on americas most wanted. His wife was cheating on him and had her boyfriend (the guy that americas most wanted is looking for) hire a gunman to kill the husband.

 

[Murray_H]

http://www.ejectorseats.co.uk/phantom eject.jpg

If she's making you feel like this, then there is something wrong with the relationship, so get out now before you're too far down the line and contemplating suicide

 

[[Matt]]

sounds like she's just with you for the convienience

Speaking from experience i would say you've got it in one!

 

[Jackal hit]

how old is she? and how old are you? what you described of her, makes her sound like she's... 17 or 18. not very mature. (i've got enough experience to know that about 70% of females are quite immature as far as guys are concerned until about the age of 21 or 22) frankly, she sounds ..eh whatever, talk to her about it. and make your decision from there.

 

[JonTheCanuck]

I PLAY GUITAR QUITE WELL! lol anyways, it seems like u are kind of the fallback guy as previously mentioned, but my advice would be talk to her and tell her about it. Because i found that if u just leave something that bothers u, its gonna keep bothering u and reoccuring over and over again until it becomes a huge problem. If u tell her about how u feel that she doesn't listen or feel she might be undevoted then bring it up and see if it changes anything. If she rejects this and doesn't change then it might be time to end it. If u dont say anything, its gonna end up bad in the end anyways.

 

[gh0st]

this is kind of interesting. i would say leave her, because this is sort of the way that my ex girlfriends have acted. start off great for like a week, then we sort of start hanging out with other people, etc. the one relationship ive had (and still have) that has lasted more than a month started out much differently than what you describe, or what i experianced. its closeness (i.e. we wouldent even really hang out with othe rpeople) for at least a few months THEN as we trust each other more and more we sort of go our own ways sometimes.

that being said, i would probably leave her. buy a new graphics card with the money you save from seing bad movies.

edit: but yeah, definatly talk to her about.. if shes mature enough she will respond to you in a non...dumbass way. good luck

 

[csmighty1]

simple. If she still dances around the question and doesn't give you a strait answer, Just say that this relationship would probably be better off dead =).

Only alittle over a month? And you think the relationship is going downhill? Get out!!!

 

[Fender357]

I didn't read what other people wrote about this so, if I'm just repeating what somone else said, whatever.

Whenever me and my GF have trouble we talk about it. Even if its somthing we would much rather ignore, we just talk about it. And it makes stuff way way better.

Just tell here how she is making you feel. If she isn't going to talk to you about it, then just talk to her about it. Just make her hear you out.

What ever happens after that is what should happen, she knows how you feel, and hopefully she'll tell you how she feels. Thats the best way to judge where your relationship is going. And what you can do about anything thats wrong.

 

[GhostValkyrie]

Red Flag!
If you decide to listen to these fools, and stay with her, watch out.
I say you confront her, and end it.

Sorry to give such a short and elaborated post, but this kind of thing can be easily summed up. You need to get out. No matter how long, in your case short, you're with someone, the potential to cheat is a threat to be dealt with. It sounds like you're trying too hard. Find someone better.

 

[Warbie]

Woh - don't listen to him ^

 

[LoneDeranger]

Woh - don't listen to him ^

I think he's right.

Now I'm not the best person to ask for advice, but a girl DID pull the "guitar trick" on me once. She wasn't even so obvious as in your case, she just said she used to know a great guy who played the guitar.

 

[ApocalypseNow]

Red Flag!
If you decide to listen to these fools, and stay with her, watch out.
I say you confront her, and end it.

Sorry to give such a short and elaborated post, but this kind of thing can be easily summed up. You need to get out. No matter how long, in your case short, you're with someone, the potential to cheat is a threat to be dealt with. It sounds like you're trying too hard. Find someone better.

Yeah I just broke up with her about 20 mins ago... I feel better I think...

 

[Letters]

Well, if you're still here, then I assume all went okay with that, eh?

 

[ApocalypseNow]

Yeah she took it a little bit to well, which make me even more glad now that I broke up with her.