Are you "the nice guy"?

I'm starting to hit the age where I don't need to do that...some of the girls are looking for more of a permanent "marriage" thing...though I doubt they will say "no" to the mysterious/sexy thing.
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dude, you're 22 (at least your profile says that). are you serious?
 
ComradeBadger said:
What kind of age is that.. 30??



The question is, are they jerks and assholes because they get the girl?
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Well, I'm 22...and I'm starting to feel the need to settle down coming on...though I wished it would have taken longer. :p But all the younger girls *18 and 19* go for the attractive/muscley guys...they don't care about nice guys...from personal experiences of course.
 
Small down? Is 45k people small?

It the south...people are all the same --;
 
As far as being a nice guy, why would you not want to be nice with someone you love? If you don't love them to begin with don't be in a relationship.

Unless all you can think about is sucking boobie then you're just ready to be abused. Which has nothing to do with being nice, that's just being stupid. I have seen guy friends hurt by their girlfriends over and over. Blinded by the boobie. It wasn't until the girl just tossed them aside they realized how stupid they were. They thought they were being the nice guy, but they weren't. If your wanting to get boobie and be an arse at the same time just be pimp. You'll get paid for it too.
 
alehm said:
As far as being a nice guy, why would you not want to be nice with someone you love? If you don't love them to begin with don't be in a relationship.

Unless all you can think about is sucking boobie then you're just ready to be abused. Which has nothing to do with being nice, that's just being stupid. I have seen guy friends hurt by their girlfriends over and over. Blinded by the boobie. It wasn't until the girl just tossed them aside they realized how stupid they were. They thought they were being the nice guy, but they weren't. If your wanting to get boobie and be an arse at the same time just be pimp. You'll get paid for it too.
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The "nice guy" just seems pathetic to girls. Nice guys seem like they have no confidence and are shaky. Girls may say they want a nice guy but there is a reason nice guys finish last. Don't be the nice guy. Ever. You don't have to be a dick but don't follow them around complimenting them, opening doors and dumb shit like that. Just be good looking, funny and most importantly, confident. Confidence is everything. It makes you more attractive. Not to mention if you actually are attractive everyone perceives you as funnier, smarter, more confident and really there is no down side to it. Just ask them if they want to hang out, pay attention to subtle hints and you can figure out if you have a chance or not.

Generally if a girl goes out of her way for you then you have a chance. If she stares, moves to stand next to you, walks close to you, does the same things you do, laughs at your jokes then those are all hints that you have a chance. Even if she is only doing 1 or 2 of them. Some girls are real hard to figure out so you might have to do some digging. Ask questions and see if she responds. Generally stuff like hanging out with her and say your probably can't go and see if she gets dissapointed. Girls aren't all that hard to figure out.
 
See I don't get it. You say don't be a nice guy then go on listing to be funny and confident as if those are contradictions to being nice.

I guess we are using the same vocabulary but different dictionary here. Which is a long way of saying, we probably are in agreement here and don't realize it.

Yes girls want a man with confidence and who can make decisions. You can still be that and nice. You can also be confident and be an arse.

Going back to my example of guys who let themselves get walked over by women because they are sucking boobie lack confidence. They think they are being nice, but they are being abused. Just like women who always find themselves ending up with jerks or can't figure out why ever man they date ends up abusing them usually lacks a sense of self worth. It's not that they find themselves in that situation because they are nice and the solution is to become mean. The solution is they have to realize they deserve better and to get out of that unhealthy relationship.
 
Glirk Dient said:
The "nice guy" just seems pathetic to girls. Nice guys seem like they have no confidence and are shaky. Girls may say they want a nice guy but there is a reason nice guys finish last. Don't be the nice guy. Ever. You don't have to be a dick but don't follow them around complimenting them, opening doors and dumb shit like that. Just be good looking, funny and most importantly, confident. Confidence is everything. It makes you more attractive. Not to mention if you actually are attractive everyone perceives you as funnier, smarter, more confident and really there is no down side to it. Just ask them if they want to hang out, pay attention to subtle hints and you can figure out if you have a chance or not.

Generally if a girl goes out of her way for you then you have a chance. If she stares, moves to stand next to you, walks close to you, does the same things you do, laughs at your jokes then those are all hints that you have a chance. Even if she is only doing 1 or 2 of them. Some girls are real hard to figure out so you might have to do some digging. Ask questions and see if she responds. Generally stuff like hanging out with her and say your probably can't go and see if she gets dissapointed. Girls aren't all that hard to figure out.
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Don't open doors? That's just being a jerk, needlessly.

All of this is just heresay and conjecture, because every girl is different. Some girls like to be treated like a walking missiah, and others just want to be treated as a complete equal (as if she was just your best guy-friend) or worse.

You just need to find the ones you want to be associated with, and that's all that matters.
 
How is not opening doors being a jerk. If you aren't in front of her you shouldn't run to open it, only open it if you are there first, just like if you were with the fella's.

Also, would you seriously want a girl that wants to be a messiah, what's in it for the guy?

You'll also find that Glirk, from my experience, is totally right, girls really are all the same, at least the ones you should be wanting to be with (the ones who are pre-Madonna's and actually have a personality). They all like to think they are very different, but they really aren't.

A great way to spot if a girl is into you is body language. As the saying goes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In other words, if she is copying your body language, it's a good sign that she is probably into you.

And lastly, don't be afraid to make physical contact with girls, but don't do it in a creepy way.
 
Alright, I will define what I mean by "nice guy" first. A nice guy is the pathetic loser that hounds a girl complementing her and being overly nice in an attempt to win her. In reality it just makes him look pathetic and no girl wants a guy that other people see as pathetic and is no challenge to get.

If you walk around complementing her on everything, saying sorry a million times for anything that could offend her, offering to carry her bag all the time, opening doors, offering to always pay and so forth is just pathetic. If you just act confident and cool you will be exponentially more valuable in the eyes of a girl.

I am not saying never be nice. Just don't be the nice guy. If you over complement a girl those complements lose their meaning. That works for everything else. If you do things sporadically it means a lot more to her and isn't annoying. Best to just act confident and cool and get to to be interested in you so you can make the moves, not the other way around.

Kester^ said:
And lastly, don't be afraid to make physical contact with girls, but don't do it in a creepy way.
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Kester is right, but I just wanted to talk about this. Touching girls can absolutely ruin your chances but it can also make their eyes glaze over and they will fall in love with you. I am not talking about touching sexually as that will ruin your chances as well. I am talking about grabbing her hand for a bit when you say something meaningful or heck even if you are begging her to hang out(in a joking way, not a pathetic way). Also little pushes when she jokes about you are always good. Don't shove her face into a wall, but just a little nudge. Oh...and don't hug. It goes along the lines of pathetic nice guy. I used to be guilty of this and it doesn't help at all.
 
There's a difference between being nice in general and being the "nice guy" stereotype.

The nice guy is the fawning, ever-complimenting accomplice to the female. He'll drop whatever he's doing and leave the party to walk her to the bus stop. If it were up to him, you'd think he'd surgically attach himself to her. His presence around her is just as much (if not more) than her boyfriend's, if she has one. And he's not getting any action in return.
 
I go over all big and brash to get a girl on their own then act like a nice guy. But still boast about my looks or whatever (I don't find myself that attractive, but it works *shrug*)
Girls normally love it.

At the moment things seem to bet getting quite serious with a girl I met nearly 3 weeks ago, but things can't advance beyond secret meetings cause she has a boyfriend of two years. :LOL: And that's how I flirted with her at the party.
 
You should be a nice guy. Well more of a gentlemen. However you should be a nice guy with confidence. Be direct with what you have to say. Don't act like a creep and stare at her 24/7. You can be nice, but show that you have confidence and be direct with what you have to say.

Take a look from the girls perspective "If someone was acting like this, would you find it a little creepy? Would you find it incredibly friendly(falling into friend zone), would you find it flirty?" and etc. I mean if someone was constantly opening doors for you all the time and would never leave you alone.... they'd probably get a little annoying and may come off as the stalker type. So don't be like that if you don't want to come off as that. You can be nice. But it's about how you go about being nice that makes the difference.

I find a little physical contact always good as stated above. Nothing big or that seems like your trying to hurt her. Playfully. Basically, flirting. However playfully/flirting isn't the only way to do it. You can be very sweet with how you do it.
 
Cole said:
You should be a nice guy. Well more of a gentlemen. However you should be a nice guy with confidence. Be direct with what you have to say. Don't act like a creep and stare at her 24/7. You can be nice, but show that you have confidence and be direct with what you have to say.

Take a look from the girls perspective "If someone was acting like this, would you find it a little creepy? Would you find it incredibly friendly(falling into friend zone), would you find it flirty?" and etc. I mean if someone was constantly opening doors for you all the time and would never leave you alone.... they'd probably get a little annoying and may come off as the stalker type. So don't be like that if you don't want to come off as that. You can be nice. But it's about how you go about being nice that makes the difference.

I find a little physical contact always good as stated above. Nothing big or that seems like your trying to hurt her. Playfully. Basically, flirting. However playfully/flirting isn't the only way to do it. You can be very sweet with how you do it.
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I know a guy that rubs girls back *Not really rubs, more like waves high on their back with their hand...you know what I mean?* and all the girls that receive it say it's creepy as hell.
 
See, I'd call that being overfamiliar. It depends on the person doing it.

HOWEVER: Little moral - don't always think with your penis, it can get you into ridiculously problematic situations.. I've just recently dodged a right bullet - here's hoping it still doesn't come back to haunt me.
 
By dodged a bullet you mean dodged a little Badger running around.

Or you dodged the clap.
 
ComradeBadger said:
The question is, are they jerks and assholes because they get the girl?
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No no, these are the guys who are irritating pricks who go out of their way to bump into you while they're walking, then act like it's your fault. Or throw food/water bottles/etc. at people at lunch. Or yell at the top of their lungs about all the niggas and bitches they know. The guys who abuse their girlfriends and treat them like shit all the time, and the girls know it, but they stay with them anyway for god knows what reason.

Keep in mind I'm still in high school, and this is as far as my experience with people goes. Maybe once I graduate I won't have to deal with these kinds of people again, but around here that's about as likely as the second coming.
 
I want to be james bond. Actually, I want to be the james bond performed by Daniel Craig. Holy **** would that be cool.
 
I'm the nice guy. But, I have no problem saying what I want to say, if I truely feel that way.




99.vikram said:
Sometimes people walk over me and I don't care.
At other times, when I feel pushed I hit them back with sarcastic jabs or straight out retribution.
I just cant seem to say NO in the usual way..
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.
 
No no, these are the guys who are irritating pricks who go out of their way to bump into you while they're walking, then act like it's your fault. Or throw food/water bottles/etc. at people at lunch. Or yell at the top of their lungs about all the niggas and bitches they know. The guys who abuse their girlfriends and treat them like shit all the time, and the girls know it, but they stay with them anyway for god knows what reason.

Keep in mind I'm still in high school, and this is as far as my experience with people goes. Maybe once I graduate I won't have to deal with these kinds of people again, but around here that's about as likely as the second coming.
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Those kind of guys?
Well i'd like to point out something.
1.)Not all girls are like that(I know the kind girls your talkin bout though quite well).
2.)They believe they can change the guy.
3.)The girls will love the moments when the guys nice and caring. Basically if your nice and caring all the time, it seems average. However if your a bitch all the time, then your incredibly sweet for a moment it's orgasmic.

It's could be compared to arguing with a very ignorant person. Sometimes you feel compelled to show them that your right and there wrong and that there being ignorant. However once your about to give up showing them that there ignorant, they show some sign that they are understanding. Then they go right back into the ground and start being ignorant. In the end you will probably fail.

The girl may be compelled to change the guy, but will probably fail... then once there about to give up he becomes a sweetheart... so she stays with him..then he goes becomes an asshole and it repeats.
 
Cole said:
Those kind of guys?
Well i'd like to point out something.
1.)Not all girls are like that(I know the kind girls your talkin bout though quite well).
2.)They believe they can change the guy.
3.)The girls will love the moments when the guys nice and caring. Basically if your nice and caring all the time, it seems average. However if your a bitch all the time, then your incredibly sweet for a moment it's orgasmic.

It's could be compared to arguing with a very ignorant person. Sometimes you feel compelled to show them that your right and there wrong and that there being ignorant. However once your about to give up showing them that there ignorant, they show some sign that they are understanding. Then they go right back into the ground and start being ignorant. In the end you will probably fail.

The girl may be compelled to change the guy, but will probably fail... then once there about to give up he becomes a sweetheart... so she stays with him..then he goes becomes an asshole and it repeats.
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Nah, I reckon they go for people who act like that over qulter 'nice guys' is because the 'assholes' don't hide their masculinity.
 
I reckon you're both right Solaris and Cole. Women like a man who knows that they are a man and acts upon it.

Women also like to try and change that man into a caring man (who still knows he is a man, but can also be sensitive). Most of the time that last bit fails though.
 
Solaris said:
Nah, I reckon they go for people who act like that over qulter 'nice guys' is because the 'assholes' don't hide their masculinity.
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So assholes are real men? You must be the manliest man I know, Solaris.
 
the problem here is that youre sorta putting all women in one box. just like men like different kinds of women, women like different kinds of men.. and i dont believe the whole "think they can change him" thing, that would probably mostly go for girls with severely bad guys. its different from girl to girl, but most like confident guys above all, that's what i know for sure, everything else doesn't really matter, as long as you're confident. they pick up on it
 
reading this, relates to the girl i almost had!

i was a mister nice guy to an exceptional stereotype,:/

sooooo, yeah im stila gentlemen, yes i am confident, yes im still friends with this girl but shes back with her old boyfriend!

and yes! ive embraced being single now, (havent been for the past almost ****ing 2 years!)

and im getting fit :p, this new friend who is a girl, is awesome sucks she is back with her ex but i cant have everything. we still meet up and do stuff, doubt there is any hope there whatsoever but **** it :p shes a laugh

I pulled a girl, she found out* i work with this lass* and she said i coudl do better:p so hey im fit! thats pew pewed my confidence up the trouser leg and IM HOT! :p
 
CrazyHarij said:
the problem here is that youre sorta putting all women in one box. just like men like different kinds of women, women like different kinds of men.. and i dont believe the whole "think they can change him" thing, that would probably mostly go for girls with severely bad guys. its different from girl to girl, but most like confident guys above all, that's what i know for sure, everything else doesn't really matter, as long as you're confident. they pick up on it
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Yeah girls do like some certain kinds of guy more than others. That doesn't mean your SOL. It just takes some extra game to get them in your bed.

All girls are readable and they all subconsciously want the same things. A confident, funny cute guy. If you have real game you can get pretty much any girl. Few guys understand how that all works. There was a study that shows women have more sex on average. Why? Theres a small percent of the male population that has real game and gets a lot of sex. It never hurts to improve your game. Just work on making yourself look better and get funnier and real confidence will follow. Also always act like you have already won her and your not even really trying anymore, even though you are. Girls are pretty easy once you figure it out.
 
Again Glirk is right, it's stupid how easy girls actually are, once you know how. I used to go to a club, and I'd literally have the pick of the litter. I'd approach girls, and on the way, instead of thinking I hope this goes well, I'd be thinking she's already mine and usually I'd already be thinking about who next.
 
Kester^ said:
Again Glirk is right, it's stupid how easy girls actually are, once you know how. I used to go to a club, and I'd literally have the pick of the litter. I'd approach girls, and on the way, instead of thinking I hope this goes well, I'd be thinking she's already mine and usually I'd already be thinking about who next.
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It's a little different finding someone who wants to genuinely date...if you're looking for a relationship, you don't go to the club...that's where people go to get laid..which I'm sure I could get some if I went there, as well. But honestly, I don't trust it. makes me worried I'll catch something.

Especially here...this state is creepy.
 
I met my fiancee, and almost all of my long term partners in clubs.
 
dude, youre not exactly helping yourself with that attitude
 
ive never been could with girls. it seems like i get one and i think they like me and when i think everything is going well it all goes bad. this has happened a few times and has really hurt my confidence. i guess acording to you guys that's what is hurting me. one thing that seems to be good is to even if you are like going to aproch a girl and you like get nervous, just act as natural. acting natural is the only things that has constantly worked for me( it is kinda like being confident.)
 
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