Bruise Removal

[No Limit]

Because Im an idiot I got this bruise on my neck from the weekend and I need to get rid of it within 8 hours or I'm gonna have some explaining to do. I know it probably wont happen, but any ideas helplife2.net has would be appreciated. I can't really put ice on it since I'm at work.

 

[Emporius]

Get a friend to punch you in the face, and claim it was a fight.

 

[No Limit]

I dont know if I wanna get punched in the neck hard enough to leave a bruise, but thanks for the tip.

 

[Emporius]

Not in the neck, in the face. Then you can claim that hicky is just another fight bruise.

 

[Stormy]

Whats wrong with having a bruise?

 

[No Limit]

I think I need something that would look more believable than that, plus if its a choice between having to find someone the beat the shit out of me or coming clean I think I'll just come clean.

 

[Solaris]

Oh you have to elaborate now No Limit.... Love bite?

 

[No Limit]

Oh you have to elaborate now No Limit.... Love bite?

If you got a better excuse for a bruise on your neck I'm all ears.

 

[Stormy]

Love bites rock, ****ing man up and enjoy how jealous everyone is that you got laied.

 

[Solaris]

But like, love bites generally look quite different from a bruise. So if you've been cheating on your gf, 'somebody hit me herp herp' isn't gonna work.

Maybe get her to give you lots more love bites and pretend you're diseased.

 

[No Limit]

I didn't technically cheat but it's complicated, and I would rather avoid that conversation with her right now.

 

[Stormy]

Did your uncle give it to you?

 

[Hectic Glenn]

You're pretty restricted in options. The best one is putting on a dress and borrowing some make-up. Concealer would be best.

Otherwise expect penetrating questions.

 

[CptStern]

lol you got a hickey from some floozy and now your SO is going to kill you. hey just do what a good friend did when he got caught cheating. leave town till it all blows over

"hi honey I'm going fishing with the boys for the next ...serveral weeks"


also if she questions what it is just say "YOU DONT OWN ME" and storm out. she'll eventually call you back and apologise for jumping to conclusions. denial is not a river in egypt

 

[Escaep]

Just dress like this:

 

[No Limit]

The googles say I can scratch it with a penny and make it look like a scratch instead of a bruise. I don't know, that sounds like a really stupid idea.

 

[<RJMC>]

say that the woman was love biting you whitout your permision and you found out she was a vampire and you escaped

 

[CptStern]

"omg did you scratch your neck to disguise your hickey?"

 

[Raziaar]

Bruise off! Apply directly to your bruise!
Bruise off! Apply directly to your bruise!
Bruise off! Apply directly to your bruise!

Warning: May contain 99.99% wax.

 

[Eejit]

Say the vacuum cleaner got stuck on your neck.

 

[Raziaar]

Why do you have explaining to do anyway? It wouldn't involve CHEATING would it? Otherwise, who the **** would care if you have a bruise on your neck, seriously?

DON'T GO ON THE RADIO!

 

[Krynn72]

Just always keep that side of your body facing away from her. If you're slick, she wont be any wiser.

Also, don't cheat on your girlfriend.

 

[Anthraxxx]

Acid burn.

 

[Rizzo]

No Limit isn't here for advice guys. He's just here to rub our faces in his awesome libido.
"Yo dudes, I got laid." Well **** you Limit, Im singel by choice you know.

 

[Dog--]

Yea you deserve whatever you get for cheating, it's like the worst thing you can do in a relationship besides like killing the person..

Stupid dick.

 

[No Limit]

I actually didn't cheat...dick.

 

[Krynn72]

Sure sounds like you were cheating.

 

[CptStern]

"a woman's lips somehow ended on my neck for several minutes without my knowledge"


"I WAS DRUNK AND MY FRIEND DECIDED TO BE GAY"


"I missed you so much I punched myself in neck"





dude you're screwed!

 

[No Limit]

Sure sounds like you were cheating.

You don't know half of the story. No, I was not cheating since we were broken up at that perticular moment. But its still a douche move on my part.

 

[Raziaar]

Were you swimming in a tank of lampreys?

 

[CptStern]

You don't know half of the story. No, I was not cheating since we were broken up at that perticular moment. But its still a douche move on my part.

dude! you're Ross!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsvsRZhNVp4



you can justify a lot with "we were on a break"



also you're still broken up with her ..so who cares. if anything you should show that off (even if it was just your gay friend/lamprey) get her a little jealous so you can have angry make up sex

 

[No Limit]

I actually care about this girl and Im not interested in making her jealous, we're past the stupid games. And now she wants to get back together and first thing she'll see on me is a big ass hickey on my neck for a couple nights ago because I couldnt keep my dick in my pants for a couple weeks; I'm a dumbass.

 

[Raziaar]

Wear a turtleneck. That won't cause her to ask questions.

 

[CptStern]

well delay meeting her. also if you want this to work you'll be completely honest and face the consequences of your actions. but really she has no say as you were broken up at the time

 

[Eejit]

You could of course lie and say it went as far as necking, hickey but no further.

 

[PvtRyan]

CHUPACABRA!

 

[No Limit]

If I delay it she'll know I'm lying about something and I dont wanna bullshit her. I'm just gonna be straight up with her and end up looking like the douchebag that I am. Yes, technically she has no right to get pissed but it's more complicated than that. I wouldn't be all that happy if I saw her with a big ass hickey on her neck and it certainly wouldn't help me trust her.

 

[Raziaar]

Punch yourself in the neck and that side of the face repeatedly. Turn that hickey into a full facial bruise.

It'll turn anger into sympathy!

 

[CptStern]

If I delay it she'll know I'm lying about something and I dont wanna bullshit her. I'm just gonna be straight up with her and end up looking like the douchebag that I am. Yes, technically she has no right to get pissed but it's more complicated than that. I wouldn't be all that happy if I saw her with a big ass hickey on her neck and it certainly wouldn't help me trust her.

well you have no choice but to fess up. just stress that you were broken up at the time and you're supposed to be starting fresh right so leave the past in the past.

 

[No Limit]

This is starting to sound like one of those gay relationship advice threads.