Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck will stare down the G-Man until he breaks down into tears and his limbs detach and flee to Antarctica to spend the rest of their lives helping penguins read bibles, as Chuck commands them. The G-Man will then reveal the entire story behind half-life to Chuck, however he already knows and will roundhouse kick the G-Man until he gets trapped in a loop of apologetic sobbing, at which point Chuck will leave to go get lunch - a blue whale caught with nothing but a paper clip and then roasted on a furnace powered by the souls of those Chuck has conquered.
 
bam23 said:
Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick the G-Man so hard, his foot would break the speed of light, travel back in time, and roundhouse kick the G-Man again.
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Thereby creating a paradox. If g-man was roundhouse kicked before chuck originally kicked him then g-man wouldn't be alive when chuck originally kicked him and hence woulndt have been kicked in the first place making him still alive.

Breaking the universe FTW.
 
madog said:
I heard Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, but he's never cried. But that may be wrong because there is an article where Chuck says he broke down crying. Who woulda thought Chuck would be an emo?
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Real men cry occasionally. It takes a lesser man, who tries to hide it.
 
G-man stops time so Chuck can't move. Then he goes up to him and hits him with his case. Game Over.
 
Glirk Dient said:
Thereby creating a paradox. If g-man was roundhouse kicked before chuck originally kicked him then g-man wouldn't be alive when chuck originally kicked him and hence woulndt have been kicked in the first place making him still alive.

Breaking the universe FTW.
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Yes. e=mc^2 ftw

Chuck Norris - 50 G-Man - 1
 
Raziaar said:
Real men cry occasionally. It takes a lesser man, who tries to hide it.
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Quoted for the mother swiving truth.

P.S. What happened to the dancing cow?
 
Quixoticism said:
Quoted for the mother swiving truth.

P.S. What happened to the dancing cow?
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Read the sig! The Sig! only about two more days of this.
 
madog said:
G-man: infinite
Chuck Norris: negative infinite
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You don't get it...

There is no destroying Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris > G-man

G-man can be destroyed. End of discussion!
 
I wouldn't be surprised if Chuck Norris himself jumped through your front window (the window would break at the sight of Norris) and murdered your whole family. If so, pics.
 
Chuck Norris didn't tell God he could create dinosaurs so promptly ate them all and roundhouse kicked God in the face to teach him a lesson.
 
Gman is invulnerable. Chuck Norris is just a human being who can die, G-man can't die and will never die...
 
If Chuck Norris died, the universe would destroy itself as the force holding it together would be gone.
 
madog said:
G-man: infinite
Chuck Norris: negative infinite
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See, that's where you're wrong. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. TWICE. Instant win.
 
bam23 said:
See, that's where you're wrong. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. TWICE. Instant win.
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But his score was negated by G-man 1337 hax. So really G-man pwned Chuck Norris.

Plus, Chuck Norris has a weakness to paddles!
 
That is bs right there. Chuck wouldnt be able to move in the first place. G-man stops time. Plus he could send Chuck into a warp forever and let him rot.
 
madog said:
That is bs right there. Chuck wouldnt be able to move in the first place. G-man stops time. Plus he could send Chuck into a warp forever and let him rot.
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Stop trying...you can't win. What your trying to prove is as impossible as proving that there is/isn't a god.
 
Well there has to be a God. Then there would be no Chuck Norris. And Chuck will die from old age eventually as where gman will live on forever. Gman h4x ftw!
 
SpaceMarine from DOOM pwns all.

THATS DOOM, not Doom3, nor the movie DOOM. All disgraces to the original.
 
no, he Destroys the forces of Hell on Phobos, Deimos and one of the circles of hell. Returns to Earth to purge Hell from it, then rebuilds earth.

Sheesh i love the Original DOOM.
 
Cormeh said:
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element he recognises is the element of surprise.
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That one's from the Mr. T list. There's also a Vin Diesel one, but they aren't as good nor as popular.

There's now an official site. This must be new. http://chucknorrisfacts.com/
 
chuck3.gif
 
Que-Ever said:
NOOOOOOOOOOOES!
wait nevermind, sean connery must be the one swinging the paddle. It's all good.
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Sean Connery is dead........
 
Icarusintel said:
this is clearly photoshopped
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no, it jsut shows how great of an actor chuck is, on TOP of being a cowboy that knows karate.
 
Que-Ever said:
no, it jsut shows how great of an actor chuck is, on TOP of being a cowboy that knows karate.
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Actually, Chuck fell down, tricking the baddies. And then when they got close, he did a kip-up to stomp down one, while round-house kicking the other, hence saving time.
 
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