Dark Family Secrets

[CptStern]

from Something Awful Dark family secrets thread, some really weird and sometimes disturbing family secrets:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1928334&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

My great-great-uncle is Budd Dwyer. He was in the Pennsylvania house of reps and was framed for accepting bribes, and would have been sentenced to years of prison, 55 the wikipedia says, I'd ask my dad, but he wouldn't talk to me about it more than, "yeah, uncle budd, he was a good man." Anyway, he would have been sentenced to years of prison, and a fine, instead, he called a press conference, and shot himself on live national television.

I remember that, saw it on tv (edited version)

My cousin was murdered and my Aunt knows who did it and won't turn them in.

No one believes me.

She told me she knows.

****in' ****.

...also have family that are "retired" from the Jewish Mob. "Retired" because they still work in the businesses that are fronts but arent active in the Family.

My Great Uncle was killed by an infamous member of the Italian Mob in Florida and its believed to have been a mistake, because my Great Aunt receiving a check every month since his death.

I too have an aunt who went to become a nun and then left the cloister with another nun. They live together in a mobile home. Draw your own conclusions, we do.

My grandfather on my fathers side was involved in every single major European and North African landing/assult during WWII in which the Americans were engaged. He was part of a commando unit before they had commando units in the army .......Apprently he was part of a liberating force at a concentration camp, after 2.5 weeks the units involved required a direct order from the head of allied command in France to stop killing surrendering German soldiers.

my dark family secret: ..my grandfather on my dad's side worked for the Falangistas ..General Francisco Franco's Fascist political party during the 1930's (Spain) ..my grandfather may have been a driver for a group that was responsible for "disappreances" of several political dissidents. I think it was more of a survival thing than a political thing ...to this day my family name is revered because my grandmother secretly fed some of the poor in her village defying the political group that surely would have arrested her had they found out

 

[Tr0n]

My grandpa was in the KKK...

Actually...that's not secret nor dark. Ain't got any "dark" family secrets really.

 

[CptStern]

well that's not exactly a good thing ...so ya it's a dark secret

 

[Pressure]

I'd say, but the secrets are TOO dark.

 

[CptStern]

most ****ed up I've read so far ..well there were some pedo ones but I'd rather not read/post them

My biological grandfather was a wealthy judge who later served on a state senate. He was very popular in the high society of that region of the country, which I will not mention. (A portrait of him still hangs in the state capital.)

The relationship between him and my biological mother was reported to be so close growing up that a romantic/incestual facet was rumored. It was also rumored that this fact led to my bio grandmother committing sucicde by hanging when she was in her early 50's, leaving her body to be found purposefully by her daughter (my mother) upon returning home from school. (My mother was 14.)

This was rumored to have led to my mother's unstable adulthood, including giving birth to me and putting me up for adoption, as well as dedicating the last 15 years of her life to scientology, an organization which eventually killed her.

Oh, and my biological father was supposedly someone who was being chased by cops one night; my mother -- who was tripping on acid with her four-year-old in the room -- found the fugitive in her bushes and ended up having a 2 year relationship with him. But supposedly I was conceived on that night, as the cops looked for him and as they both tripped on acid

:O

 

[DeusExMachina]

I have a sinking feeling my relatives helped Franco and his Fascist regime. I'll have to ask my mom about it. She said our family was nobility and fairly involved with the military so its likely.

 

[The Monkey]

LOL, you gotta love the somethingawful forums...

 

[gick]

my dark family secret: ..my grandfather on my dad's side worked for the Falangistas ..General Francisco Franco's Fascist political party during the 1930's (Spain) ..my grandfather may have been a driver for a group that was responsible for "disappreances" of several political dissidents. I think it was more of a survival thing than a political thing ...to this day my family name is revered because my grandmother secretly fed some of the poor in her village defying the political group that surely would have arrested her had they found out

Holy shit man, I ****ing hate the Falangists. Im currently reading a book on the Spanish Civil War, its a fascinating period of history...

I dont think I have any really dark family secrets, I guess if there are any I wouldnt know about it. Mind you, My dad and his mates put a guy in hospital in the early 70s by beating him with golf clubs. Apparently he deserved it.

 

[Greatgat]

One of my uncles caved my aunt's head in with a monkey wrench. She lived, but half of her skull is plastic.

I thought as I was growing up that I had two full-blooded sisters, but found out they are only my half sisters. My mother cheating on my dad twice and got pregnant. Twice! This one was actually pretty rough on me. I still love them of course, but at the time I just felt strange.

Another uncle went to jail for child molestation.

My stepbrother went AWOL from the army and married a stripper. He's currently hiding out in Montana.

Fun!

 

[The Monkey]

My grand-father on my father's side delivered milk to the nazis when their train stopped on the way to the Finish front.

 

[CptStern]

Holy shit man, I ****ing hate the Falangists. Im currently reading a book on the Spanish Civil War, its a fascinating period of history...

several of my mom's relatives disappeared during those times ...funny cuz my mom married my dad who's father was a falangist

I have a sinking feeling my relatives helped Franco and his Fascist regime. I'll have to ask my mom about it. She said our family was nobility and fairly involved with the military so its likely.

could be ...many right wing/fascist americans helped franco ..many left wing americans fought against franco ..most famously Ernest Hemmingway

 

[gick]

I have a sinking feeling my relatives helped Franco and his Fascist regime. I'll have to ask my mom about it. She said our family was nobility and fairly involved with the military so its likely.

It has to be said, most of the nobility sided with the Fascists because they remembered what happened to the aristocrats in the Russian Revolution and they didnt fancy that happening to them. Survival instinct. Do you know what sort of rank they were in the military? The vast majority of the pre-war army was strongly Pro-fascist, especially in the higher ranks.

 

[CptStern]

probably because Franco himself rose through the military ranks to become eventual dictator of Spain

 

[CrazyHarij]

My grand-father on my father's side delivered milk to the nazis when their train stopped on the way to the Finish front.

traitor!

:cheese:

 

[DeusExMachina]

Well I was talking about my Spanish relatives actually.

Yes, For Whom the Bell Tolls is my favorite book. Though, I don't believe Hemingway actually fought, just reported on the war.

 

[$kelet0r]

[Deleted]

 

[Hectic Glenn]

My great-nans daughter (not my nan) had a child with some scumbag druggy many years ago. He used to collect guns and had absolutely loads of them. One day when that child they had grew up (about 25 ish) she stole all the guns from him and used them to hold up and bank and rob them of thousands of pounds. She got caught and sent down for some time. Madness.

 

[Pressure]

My sister wants to become.... A LAWYER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

/me cries.

Someone hold me.

 

[DEATH eVADER]

My Sisters boyfriend has a Son, the thing is his Ex was pregant whilst going out with my sister.

Everybody knows, except my Dad.

 

[Dan]

my childhood best friend's dad is a coke dealer

 

[ComradeBadger]

I'm actually the black sheep of my family

My family is by and large fairly respectable.

 

[Tr0n]

well that's not exactly a good thing ...so ya it's a dark secret

Not really.

 

[Pressure]

Really it is.

I have to wait 30 seconds inbetween posts for some reason. I guess my posting skills are too EXTREME for this forum. To waste time I'm looking at this ad below the quick post box. It says, "Naught or Nice? GO >" and there's a girl in a bikini. What a stupid ad.

 

[Tr0n]

God this forum sucks. I can't do a quote post.

 

[CptStern]

Not really.

well if you were to tell that to people in my neck of the woods you might get a few angry insults ..possibly beaten up depending who you're talking to

 

[Tr0n]

But I'm not in your neck of the woods, now am I?

 

[Beerdude26]

I don't know of any "dark family secrets". Probably because they're too dark

 

[CptStern]

But I'm not in your neck of the woods, now am I?

no, but you plan to travel at some point in your life right?

 

[Tr0n]

Sure I will, but it doesn't mean to canada tho, nor would I go around spouting..."HEY A RELATIVE OF MINE WAS IN THE KKK!". Now would I?

 

[CptStern]

I dont know, we've never met


my point is that to me (I'm sure to many others) that's a dark secret ..dark dammit DARK

 

[Pressure]

I was in the KKK clan in CS:S at one point, although it stood for the Kash n' Karry Kids named after the grocery store Kash n' Karry.

 

[CptStern]

wow what genius thought up that name?

btw welcome back pressure, havent seen you in ages :E

 

[Pressure]

I did.

 

[Tr0n]

I dont know, we've never met


my point is that to me (I'm sure to many others) that's a dark secret ..dark dammit DARK

:imu: :imu: :imu: :imu: :imu:

 

[theotherguy]

A great grandfather of mine killed himself by jumpining off a bridge after WWI due to shellshock.

 

[JNightshade]

I killed JFK.

 

[Pi Mu Rho]

One of my relatives is banned from Scotland.

 

[Adidajs]

i've had three suicides in my family:

my grandfather - killed himself by jumping out of a hospital window
my mom's twin sister - shot herself
my cousin - overdose on sleeping pills

 

[Terminator]

Nothing in my family, one of my parents friends commited suicide with a 12gauge tho, shot himself in the head in a field, people rushed out to him, instantly presumed he was dead by the look of him, went inside to phone ambulance, heard the shotgun again, he had come round and tried the other barrel....in the head again, when the ambulance came he was still alive and didn't die for another 24 hours.

Not a nice death.

 

[Dalamari]

My Uncle's mother was the secretary for some SS officer