Sui
Tank
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2004
- Messages
- 5,998
- Reaction score
- 3
I know it’s crazy, but there are a lot of people out there who’re still lumbered with low-bandwidth internet connections. While 27mb of video footage might seem a relatively small download to you and me, some people will have to sit rigid at their computers, watching that small download bar inch further and further to the far right of their PC monitor before they can watch the brand new Half-Life 2: Episode One trailer. So, while you all download the trailer from Valve’s newly unveiled Episode One website, I’m going to describe the events of the clip to all those poor souls unfortunate enough to be stuck on the cobbled old path that is 56k. Anyone who’s connection is currently being sucked up by a million torrent downloads can read along too. [br] [br] Argh! You cover your eyes defensively as R2-D2’s deep-voiced older brother attacks you with a strange metal spatula. Oh, wait, it’s just a dog. But there’s no time to play fetch now, as Samuel L. Jackson kicks in and screams “where’s that crazy motherlover alex, fool?” His question is answered by an anorexic corpse in a trench coat; Alyx pulls the words out of your mouth. “Stalkers!” But as you both make a dash to the local police department, the sky starts raining concrete blocks. Then the trailer skips a bit forward – I think they must have cut out some bad language or something – because we’re suddenly flying through the insides of an alien toaster in a modified flying car. “Don’t worry”, she says, as Alyx is ripped to death by savage antlions. And zombies. But lo and behold! She has legs! Alyx saves the day by karate kicking all the bad guys, which spontaneously makes a bridge explode. Then Valve just stuck in some War of the World footage, followed by the message “buy our game!” [br] [br] Okay, so maybe I’m not that good at translating crazy action-packed trailers. Maybe all of you 56kers should just bite the bullet and download it yourselves. Here’s a link – click the banner!
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