ever feel like you dont fit in?

[63]

I always get teased at school becuase I dont have any legs or eyes...kids can be so mean....

 

[Maxi]

I'm going to have to agree with qckbeam. Throughout my life I've had quite a few friends, being lucky enough to know quite a few people with interests relatively similar to mine (in fact, I was introduced to D&D, comics, and games by three of my friends, and I probably would never have found them myself). Recently however, many of those friends have drifted away, at least to a degree, and I find myself looking in from the outside as the rest of them start to pair off with girls. Unfortunately, although whenever I can talk to girls alone they've always been encouraging (or at least not insulting), I find that my eloquence and intelligence, which are my among my few strong traits, slip away and I am transformed into a gibbering dumbass. Needless to say, gibbering dumbasses aren't the most popular people, so I've taken to remaining mostly silent and continuing my attempts at politeness and courtesy from a relative distance. This has probably been more successful, but it's still rather depressing from time to time. That said, I've had quite a while to think about such things, and I've seen quite a few other relationships, so I have some idea of what I'd be getting into and I have a fairly developed idea of what a relationship would mean to me. That said, I doubt I'll ever find one until college or later.

I've found the internet community to be much more fulfilling, as I've encountered some great people, learned quite a bit more than I could living in the middle of nowhere, and I've been able to earn the respect of others, something I'm often unable to do in person, as I'm not the funny, life-of-the-party presence that some of my friends (or, perhaps, former-friends) are.

... that's the end of my introspective rant. Thanks for listening/being the internet community I now call home.

I have to say that I feel the same way as Pendragon right now, but almost no one of my friends has got a girlfriend. I also feel the same way about you guys as he do.

 

[qckbeam]

I've found the internet community to be much more fulfilling, as I've encountered some great people, learned quite a bit more than I could living in the middle of nowhere, and I've been able to earn the respect of others, something I'm often unable to do in person, as I'm not the funny, life-of-the-party presence that some of my friends (or, perhaps, former-friends) are.

Agreed 100% there. The best people I know, I know through the internet community. In particular the HL2.net internet community

 

[Fat Tony!]

Well, I also feel the same. Im really badly shy so it pains me to go out, this leads me to get very nervous or intimidated when anyone is particually loud or aggressive. I fit into a very small group of friends in my school and we completely section ourselves off from each other basiclally if your not in the group your usually not a friend. With a few exceptions of course. It sucks but it means i can spend more time with work and get better grades... and supposivly you make better friends in uni .

 

[Bad^Hat]

But on the other hand, I can see that I'm a lot like Pendragon or Bad^Hat. The odd time, I can act really smooth and confident with girls, and people I just want to hang out with, but mostly it gets really awkward, and I can't think of a single thing to say to anyone. Plus there's the whole social anxiety thing, I can find myself intimidated by social interaction at times... I want to be able to just slip into a big group of people and just be normal, but I always find myself talking about 2% of the time, and never really able to fit in. It really gets me down sometimes, when I'd think of the state of my life: just a few "good" friends, never had a girlfriend (that's what I hate the most about me ), just not being able to talk to people, no job, few hobbies, all that good stuff :flame:

But, I still love high school. It's a lot better than elementary, I never fit in at ALL from grades 1-8. It's a lot more fun now. And things are changing for me. I'm starting to get over my social anxiety, and making a lot more friends, I can act more like myself a lot more of the time. So... Really, I've got little else to say. [/SELF-INDULGENT RANT]

I agree with most of that. Surprisingly I was kind of popular in Primary (Elementary) School, though. People thought I was unique and fun, if a little over dramatic (Friends stab you in the back so easy back then, I cried alot >_<). Everything changed when I started high school. I made a very few good friends who I hung around with about every lunch hour, we used to have this ever-changing spot in the yard we'd occupy and just talk/play/whatever. Good times for the most part, but people change, they did and I think so did I. I really can't pinpoint the moment it all fell apart, but I got a horrible affliction which made my high school life a living hell. I'm really not sure if anything even sparked it, maybe just being overworked (I always hated homework with a firey passion, it's just depressing to have to work outside of school hours, and alot of the time they just set way too much), but I "caught" depression, and a whole ton of anxiety. I like to think I was a fun kid, but I just stopped seeing the fun in everything... it just started sucking. My parents said to my counseller they could actually see me losing the will to do anything, I hung my head when I walked, I very seldom had any energy to do anything outside of school hours, every second night or so I'd spend about half an hour in my room crying. I think I broke something - to this day I find it almost impossible to cry, even when provoked, which worsens things because I feel like I'm bottling them up again. A quarter into my sixth form year (dunno what that is in grades... I was 16), I just said enough and left school. I had to, I was going insane. You know when insane people laugh maniacally in some movies? I actually caught myself doing that a couple times for no reason. Anyway that was like two years ago to this day, since then I've done one mildly succesful computer course (just to try and get back into the swing of things, after I while I stopped attending), but other than that I've had no jobs and little social interaction. On top of that something just happened which has come at a REALLY bad time (I don't wanna make this sound like a "BooHoo" post so I won't say). Basically I was just about to move out and get on with my life, I mean DAYS AWAY, but this thing kind of requires that I stay home. Not against my own will mind you, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck...

IFG!!!!!!!!1111