Girlfriend Baggage, its ****ing heavy

[Warped]

I hate starting another self help thread but you guys probably get a kick out of them as much as I do. Basically I've been dating this girl from high school since Jan 1st (we hooked up on New Years) which was a friendship at first and everything is going so smooth. I can't even tell you how many times I've slept over her place now but tonight I decided to head home from work instead of hopping over her place.

She even agreed it'd be nice to have a night off, since she was making my Valentine's gift and I need my beauty sleep for once this week. Anyway I'm sitting there playing Portal and I get a text that her ex called out of the blue. She felt frightened and felt weak like when she used to be around him. He hadn't called since Christmas time 2009 but sad part is she had a restraining order put against him. He was a real douchbag to her and she threw him out a long time ago. Anyway I'm wondering how I should deal with this. She changed the locks but this is right before Valentine's Day and it bothers me. Tonight I may even swing over there but she said she doesn't know if she wants me over or not.

Right now she's hanging with a friend of mine from high school who is also a girl and now they're close friends too. I trust her to take care of her tonight. But how does one deal with the infamous ex. He used to sell drugs out of her house and had a real ****ed up life from what I keep hearing. I also know the douchbag is smaller but has rage issues. He doesn't even live in the area any more supposedly. So how do I kick this guys ass and who wants to help find this douchbag once I find out his last name?

TLR Version, Douchbag ex boyfriend of my girlfriends is possibly back in town, how do I deal with this baggage?

I'd totally love to go all Dexter on this freak and take him out serving justice, but on the other hand my prints are on file. I do have plenty of friends that are here in town too but I'd love to know where this guy is living now. So any feedback would be nice. This is all new territory, and I would totally bust up this kids kneecaps

edit: yeah I'm heading over there she's still freaked

 

[Krynn72]

Pee on your girlfriend. That makes her yours for good.

 

[Warped]

Pee on your girlfriend. That makes her yours for good.

:naughty:

can do

 

[Remus]

You're not in highschool anymore, so finding out where he's staying and geting in a fist fight with him isn't the right way to go. You say she filed a restraining order against him, if the calls continue, or he actually shows up, call the police on his ass.

If you're lucky the police shows up all trigger happy and tase everyone ROFL.

 

[Stigmata]

Set up traps around the house like in Home Alone and wait for him to swoop by.

 

[Vegeta897]

Offer him a piece of chocolate with a tracking device embedded into it. Then create a GUI interface in Visual Basic to track his IP address.

 

[Krynn72]

Dress up like your girlfriend and when he sneaks up on you he'll grab your dick and be all "YO WHAT DA FUK IS DIS?" Then give him a kiss. He will never come close to either of you again.

 

[The Monkey]

Oh for ****'s sake, are you serious? How do you know he even wants anything to do with you? Leave the guy alone, as long as he leaves you and your girl alone. If he doesn't, call the cops. You're not 12 anymore, you can't use violence at every turn in life when things don't go your way.

 

[MJ12]

Buy some knives for self defense, there is a five pack on sale at Wal-mart for only fifteen dollars.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

Set up traps around the house like in Home Alone and wait for him to swoop by.

excellent mental pictures thank you for this

 

[Remus]

Oh for ****'s sake, are you serious? How do you know he even wants anything to do with you? Leave the guy alone, as long as he leaves you and your girl alone. If he doesn't, call the cops. You're not 12 anymore, you can't use violence at every turn in life when things don't go your way.

That's basically what I was saying.

 

[Bad^Hat]

Offer him a piece of chocolate with a tracking device embedded into it. Then create a GUI interface in Visual Basic to track his IP address.

Just make sure that, when you zoom in on his location using the GUI, the map is the correct size relative to the area you selected.

 

[Danimal]

My only advice would be to try and hit where the jaw connects with the skull, assuming he's one of those dudes who always covers his chin in a fight - If it doesn't knock him out, it will move his hands away from the front of his face, that in which is the best oppurtunity to drive an open palm directly onto the larynx with the crushing force of a thousand danimals.

loljks, fighting makes you far less of a man than you think.

 

[Viperidae]

What about the other 5 girlfriends you bought on discount in the Philippines? Just move on to the next one if one of them has defective loyalty. Warranty that shit.

 

[Danimal]

Warranty is void if seal is broken.

 

[Rizzo]

Fighting is cool.

 

[EversorAssassin]

My girlfriend had a f*cked up ex; treated her like hell, and eventually they parted ways. He moved far south, did some time, and got out. A few months ago, a friend told her that she saw the guy at a gas station, showing pictures of my girlfriend and asking strangers if they recognized her.
A few days later, We head to her place after going out for dinner, and this dude is asleep downstairs on her bed. Long story short, I chased him out with my combat machete (Basically, a foot long knife shaped like a machete but extremely heavy, thick, and sharp.. like a cleaver that I stow in my car.)
Two nights later, I stop at a gas station, and as I'm filling my tank I see a cop march out of the building shoving the guy infront of him in cuffs. I later found out he was arrested for panhandling. He had hitch-hiked several hundred miles across the country just to find my girlfriend for a reason we probably won't ever find out.

tl/dr: Get a cleaver and go to town.

 

[Unfocused]

Buy some knives for self defense, there is a five pack on sale at Wal-mart for only fifteen dollars.

Haha, you'll never miss the opportunity ZT.

 

[Eejit]

Sounds like you need dirty deeds done dirt cheap.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Damn hl2.net got some used merchandise issues.

Jk, I meant abused merchandise.

 

[Remus]

Damn hl2.net got some used merchandise issues.

Used merchendise is fine...

On one condition.

Spoiler

WASH YOUR VAG

 

[Dan]

You should get her one of those luggage bags with the wheels on the bottom and the handle that pops out. They make things much easier. They are kind of a pain in the ass when the sidewalk is all bumpy and it flips over, but sometimes you just have to shoulder that burden.

 

[<RJMC>]

eh,if she has a restraining order against the exboyfriend,them why not call the cops? I mean restraining orders cover also things like phonecalls isnt? isnt it that why those exists?

 

[Mr Stabby]

lick his face.

 

[VirusType2]

Kill them both, and then eat them.

 

[Stylo]

Buy a panther.

 

[Mr. Djees]

I'd totally love to go all Dexter on this freak and take him out serving justice, but on the other hand my prints are on file.

You have a pretty low threshold for murder. The obvious solution is to not leave any prints.

 

[Warped]

eh,if she has a restraining order against the exboyfriend,them why not call the cops? I mean restraining orders cover also things like phonecalls isnt? isnt it that why those exists?

Well after spending the night she felt much more secure. Her father showed up and she finally called the cops but apparently the restraining order ends February 19th which is about a week away. She thought it lasted up through July which it says on her paper. She wants to do nothing at this point though because she really doesn't want to go back to court to see him again and that pisses me off a bit. I don't think this problem is going away any time soon but her father and I are on the same page and would probably mess this kid up if we ever had the chance.

I'd like to think I'm a nice guy and wouldn't retort to violence as the answer but put yourself in my shoes and you may think differently.

 

[CptStern]

She felt frightened and felt weak like when she used to be around him. He hadn't called since Christmas time 2009 but sad part is she had a restraining order put against him

ya this should be your first clue to get the **** out of Dodge. sounds flakey/needy

 

[Remus]

I wouldn't want my boyfriend to resort to violence on my behalf. That would just make everything messier. I would want him to be there for me and helping me to deal with the situation in the manner of my choosing, instead of being off out beating up some dude and possibly getting hurt/arrested...what good would he be to me if that happened?

Yeah, but HE would feel better about HIMSELF if HE beat the crap out of some dude for you.

 

[VirusType2]

Does poison count as violence?

 

[Krynn72]

Yeah, but HE would feel better about HIMSELF if HE beat the crap out of some dude for you.

Exactly. Stop being so selfish and think about what he wants for a change.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

You have a pretty low threshold for murder. The obvious solution is to not leave any prints.

Solution: Cut the flesh off your fingertips.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Solution: Cut the flesh off your fingertips.

No, that's too obvious. Lightly hold your fingertip in acid to dissolve your prints. It will be HORRIBLY PAINFUL but it will get the job done, with few scars if you don't **** it up!

 

[VirusType2]

Just don't use your fingers to kill him.

 

[Maestro]

Sounds like you need to chill the **** out, OP. He called her! That's some heavy shit right there, bro. Unless he made obvious and overt threats of violence then you should wait. If he does then make sure that he knows you will rip his nuts off if he tries anything, but offensive violence only works in a war zone.

 

[Bad^Hat]

No, that's too obvious. Lightly hold your fingertip in acid to dissolve your prints. It will be HORRIBLY PAINFUL but it will get the job done, with few scars if you don't **** it up!

I recall reading about a criminal who did this before a bank job or something. It didn't work.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Use gloves, duh.

 

[VirusType2]

I don't trust women... so is she:


Using him to make you jealous? (reel you in)

Encouraging you to fight? (using you to make him jealous)

Using the both of you for something to boast to a 3rd dude ("Guys are fighting over me... they are scaring me")


Do this: Ignore her and the stalker dude.

Continue to wear pants.

 

[Stylo]

I recall reading about a criminal who did this before a bank job or something. It didn't work.

John Dillinger. He tried acid and surgical mutilation. Epic fail on both counts!