Guys, I need your help.

-Kashmir-

-Kashmir-

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Ever since I learned of the death of my cat, I have sunk into a deep, deep depression.I need some help getting cheered up. If you guys want to tell some silly, non-inside jokes here, I would appreciate it. I really need this.
 
D'you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
 
I literally spit water all over the monitor when I first heard it, but that's just me, hear it goes:

What's the best thing about sex with eighty-one year olds?


There are 80 of them.
 
Get another cat.
 
Dog-- said:
I literally spit water all over the monitor when I first heard it, but that's just me, hear it goes:

What's the best thing about sex with eighty-one year olds?


There are 80 of them.
Click to expand...

Oh god, so much win here.
 
The pollution is so thick in New York that a man once shot an arrow into the sky, and it stuck.
 
My sister had a one-eyed cat that she gave to me when she made a cross country move and couldn't really bring him. I made an eye patch for him with a big googly eye glued on the front. I only put it on the cat once, but it was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.
 
Dog-- said:
I literally spit water all over the monitor when I first heard it, but that's just me, hear it goes:

What's the best thing about sex with eighty-one year olds?


There are 80 of them.
Click to expand...

This is awesome.
 
Guys, I just suffered a huge loss, my fish died. Someone please just post some inside jokes, I really need this.
 
Adabiviak said:
My sister had a one-eyed cat that she gave to me when she made a cross country move and couldn't really bring him. I made an eye patch for him with a big googly eye glued on the front. I only put it on the cat once, but it was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen.
Click to expand...

you must post pictures at once


edit: oh damnit, I wasn't going to post in this thread because of my avatar.

Kash, I don't have any jokes, I'm sorry. How about the image dump? it usually makes me laugh. I think it was page 130 that was hilarious.
 
It kills me that I don't have a good picture of the patch, but here's a shot of the cat. I was sending my sister a picture of the cat in his new home by way of a webcam, so pardon the shite quality. I only had him for about a month, by the way. (Thanks a lot, sis :()


Here's where he's buried.
 
aww

sad thread is sadder


I've always loved cats.

Someone told me that they learned that the housecat is the most lethal predator on the planet because they eat so many types of prey than any other predator and they are so skilled at it.

Of course, anything bigger than them wouldn't be prey though
 
Dog-- said:
I literally spit water all over the monitor when I first heard it, but that's just me, hear it goes:

What's the best thing about sex with eighty-one year olds?


There are 80 of them.
Click to expand...

This wins.

So does the eye patch cat, but pictures would have helped :(
 
At least you gave him/her a good life while it lasted :) s/he could have gone to a cruel owner or something.

:cat:
 
You can have mine. He's ****ing insane. And big.
Jokes aside, i had two cats, when i toke the first one to the vet, i was pretty calm, but when i turned him over to the vet and he started to panic it felt like i got punshed. I was real sad when they put him down. Some other shit happend thou so i didn't mourn him for so long. And he was sick so it was the right thing to do.
 
Take my cat, it won't even poop outside.

I'm serious. It's seven years old. ****ing wuss. :|
 
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them

But if you really want cheering up, it's going to cost you $5.
 
You get sad when your cat dies. They are almost a part of your family.
And i have lost both within a pretty small time frame.

Edit, Family that is.
 
Rizzo89 said:
You get sad when your cat dies. They are almost a part of your family.
And i have lost both within a pretty small time frame.

Edit, Family that is.
Click to expand...

Paulie paulie paulie.
The mew of the family, he brought in the money, planted the narcotics movement, oh paulie oh paulie.
 
Solaris said:
who gets depressed over a cat?
Click to expand...

A pet is your companion, who keeps you company in times of trouble. A pet comforts you after a long day at school or work. They're basically a part of the family.
 
Solaris said:
who gets depressed over a cat?
Click to expand...

When I was 11, I watched one of my cats get run over by a car. I cried for a whole day and was depressed for at least a week. Cats are just as important to their owners as any other pet, and they can be right up there with friends and family members too. Hell, I'm 20 now, and if my other cat died I would cry just the same.

>:|



In other news, what's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have sex with my Ferrari.
 
What is more fun than stapling babies to the wall?

Pulling them off.
 
What colour does a baby go in a microwave?

I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.
 
What's better than a dead baby?

A pile of dead babies
 
Adabiviak said:
Click to expand...
:O

patrick-moore.jpg
 
I lost my cat in february... He had Cancer and Diabetes. he was going blind of diabetes so we put him down. Saddest day of my life. Watched him as they gave him the shot. As he slowly laid down as if he was going to sleep. Little to his knowledge he would never wake up... It was especially sad because if he was scared he would hide hes head in your armpit, and that's what he was doing to me when he died. !_!

He was 15 years old, had him ever since I could walk, ever since I can remember. Haven't quite healed yet, still miss him horribly. he was an orange cat, btw, and his name was pumpkin. ironically he was born on halloween. :P

All you can do is remember the good things about your cat, and look at pictures. Time heals all wounds, but the problem is that you have to wait.

Here's a pic of my kitty, btw, laying on his pillow a few days before he passed.

l_a1c001c08cc48c52f654b73e4359754f.jpg


he was a big cat too... a few inches longer than normal cats. :o

Sorry for your loss, man. It hurts like hell, I know it, and people will tell you "It's just a cat!" but what they never realize is that when you live with any human, or animal for a few months, they become family. Hope you can find another kitty to fill the hole in your heart... My brother got a dog after that, and lucky me, she's a retard. -.-

And a few sick jokes for laughs.

Why does Micheal jackson like thirty-three year olds?
There's 30 of them.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
 
Solaris said:
who gets depressed over a cat?
Click to expand...

What are you, soulless?

I am trying not to think about the day that my cat dies... have only known her for a couple years, but I've really gotten to love her. It's actually my dads new wife's cat... but I've grown really attached to her and she loves me. It's quite surprising to since she started off as afraid of going near me or anybody really. Basically worked my charm and she's a lapcat now. She's so very old though, but still acts young.
 
Van_Halen said:
he was an orange cat, btw, and his name was pumpkin. ironically he was born on halloween. :P
Click to expand...

We had a cat named pumpkin too. When I was like 7 years old. We named him pumpkin because we got him from a pumpkin patch at Halloween, and because he was orange.
 
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