Half-Life: Filling in the blanks

[el Chi]

Eli: "The last time I saw you I sent you up for help after the resonance cascade. I never thought it'd take you this long to get back to me! Heh-heh!"

Gordon: "Since the resonance cascade my existence has been defined by fear, torment, struggle and slaughter, killing because that seems the only option available to me in an inescapably linear path through life and the only time I did get any rest was because I'd been kidnapped by a stranger masquarading as a new employer and put into stasis for nearly two decades and then I wake up to this horrible nightmare world where everything I worked so hard for at Black Mesa was totally in vain because not only did it not stop the portal storms, it also allowed an alien empire to invade Earth, so you'll have to excuse me if I don't really see the funny side of that, Eli."

 

[Rapstah]

Rebel: Don't forget to reload, mr. Freeman!
Gordon: Thanks.

...what? Did they have to be fun or something?

 

[Darkside55]

Barney: "Good job, Gordon, pulling that switch and all. I can see your MIT education really pays for itself."

Gordon: "Oh f*ck off, Calhoun."

 

[Insano]

Barney: "Good job, Gordon, pulling that switch and all. I can see your MIT education really pays for itself."

Gordon: "Oh f*ck off, Calhoun. At least I can get the chick."

Corrected.

 

[Pulse]

Rebel: CPs! CPs!
Gordon: Fukken saved.

 

[ríomhaire]

*Eli turns on mini-anti-mass-spectrometer*
Eli: Hey, look at this.
Gordon: Is that a...er...oh god. I think I'll turn it off...actually...better not to touch it...I'll just...go over here and cry in the corner.

Barney: We'll have to get in that building to open the gate. Even then, that suppression device will...uh...suppress anyone coming through unless we shut it down.
Gordon: ...*sigh*...all I wanted was a desk job.

 

[Que-Ever]

Gordon: Why do we all have to wear these ridiculous ties?

 

[Mahalis]

Breen: Look, Gordon! Look what you are throwing away! Is it worth it?
Gordon: What, a dead strider? Yes, actually.

 

[ríomhaire]

Breen: Tell me Doctor Freeman, if you can. You have destroyed so much, what is it exactly that you have created? Can you name even one thing?
Gordon: I made a tenis-ball cannon when I was 10 :cheese:

 

[Piers89]

Alyx: Thats the old passage to Ravenholm, we dont there go there anymore...
Gordon: Oh right, now, hmm... let me guess, at some point your going to send me there arent you? Am i right? Yeah i thought so...

 

[Asknoone]

Kleiner: "Bon Voyage, and best of luck in your future endeavours!"
Gordon: *Sigh* "Now you've done it."

 

[Sam]

Eli: Judith! I see they set you free.
Gordon: Seriously, Vance? You're supposed to be smart.

 

[el Chi]

Breen: Tell me Doctor Freeman, if you can. You have destroyed so much, what is it exactly that you have created? Can you name even one thing?
Gordon: I made a pile of corpses out of your soldiers. How d'ya like that, ya tit?

 

[Asknoone]

Alyx: I guess you proved you can handle yourself out there.

Gordon: Handle myself? Handle myself? Missy Vance, whilst you were crawling around in nappies and learning potty tricks I was dishing out PHD justice with the sharp end of a crowbar, defending Earth against alien hordes and hopping from one end of a trans-dimensional bottleneck to the other. So don't ****ing patronize me with your 'handling' superiority crap, because I've been there, I've worn the t-shirt and I'll send you out of this room with your tail between your legs if you so much as say one more word. Bitch.

 

[ríomhaire]

Alyx: Wow, Gordon! You're my new hero!
Gordon: You where watching that?! And you didn't even try to ****ing help at all you little bitch!? GET IN THE ****ING TRAIN BEFORE I CROWBAR YOUR TINY ****ING BRAIN OUT OF YOUR ANNOYING LITTLE HEAD!

 

[ScroogeMcDuck]

Alyx: "Is Dr.Kleiner really telling everyone to....to get busy?"
Gordon: *Humming to himself* "You and me baby aint nothin' but mammals, so let's do like they do on the Discovery Channel."

- The Bad Touch, by Bloodhound Gang.

Breen: Tell me Doctor Freeman, if you can. You have destroyed so much, what is it exactly that you have created? Can you name even one thing?
Gordon: I made a pile of corpses out of your soldiers. How d'ya like that, ya tit?

Best insult ever!

 

[Jintor]

Citizen: Don't drink the water. Th-they put something in it. To make you forget. I don't even remember how I got here.
Gordon: Ah, jeeze, I havn't had a drink for 20 years...

 

[Beerdude26]

*Gordon gets blinded by the scanner*
Gordon: "Oh damn! What is this, a flying testicle?"

 

[McGooTheWise]

Alyx: I guess you proved you can handle yourself out there.

Gordon: Handle myself? Handle myself? Missy Vance, whilst you were crawling around in nappies and learning potty tricks I was dishing out PHD justice with the sharp end of a crowbar, defending Earth against alien hordes and hopping from one end of a trans-dimensional bottleneck to another. So don't ****ing patronize me with your 'handling' superiority crap, because I've been there, I've worn the t-shirt and I'll send you out of this room with your tail between your legs if you so much as say one more word. Bitch.

LOL! This should be put on one of those sites with the pictures that say "Owned" on them... XD

Alyx: You go on gordon, I'll stay here and shut of the supression feilds. (And cower behind a computer desk, while you take out an army of combine soldiers that have ambushed you and backed you into a corner, in an old jail that is now infested, totally, with aliens.)

Gordon: Or... You could shut them off now, and we could go together? Then agian, with you, and your shitty little modded glock, I doubt you'd be of much help anyhow, so I guess I'll go without you then.

 

[highlander]

Alyx : wow gordon your my new hero
Gordon: NO U R!

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1: Didn't see you get on.
Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1:This is my third transfer this year.
Gordon: Oy mate, this bloke won't answer me, can you tell me where I am?
Citizen 2: No matter how many times I get transferred I never get used to it.
Gordon: Okay, but where am I? And what's that flying thing? Hey, little robot, where am I?
Scanner: *flash*
Gordon: AAAAH! MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
CP: Get back citizen! *hit*
Gordon: OW! MY HEAD AND MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
Breen: Welcome... Welcome to City 17...
Gordon: Thankyou! Finally someone answered my question! That guy is the friendliest person I've met so far! He seems nice.

 

[Vegeta897]

Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1: Didn't see you get on.
Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1:This is my third transfer this year.
Gordon: Oy mate, this bloke won't answer me, can you tell me where I am?
Citizen 2: No matter how many times I get transferred I never get used to it.
Gordon: Okay, but where am I? And what's that flying thing? Hey, little robot, where am I?
Scanner: *flash*
Gordon: AAAAH! MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
CP: Get back citizen! *hit*
Gordon: OW! MY HEAD AND MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
Breen: Welcome... Welcome to City 17...
Gordon: Thankyou! Finally someone answered my question! That guy is the friendliest person I've met so far! He seems nice.

Brilliant.

 

[Jintor]

Agreed.

 

[McGooTheWise]

Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1: Didn't see you get on.
Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1:This is my third transfer this year.
Gordon: Oy mate, this bloke won't answer me, can you tell me where I am?
Citizen 2: No matter how many times I get transferred I never get used to it.
Gordon: Okay, but where am I? And what's that flying thing? Hey, little robot, where am I?
Scanner: *flash*
Gordon: AAAAH! MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
CP: Get back citizen! *hit*
Gordon: OW! MY HEAD AND MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
Breen: Welcome... Welcome to City 17...
Gordon: Thankyou! Finally someone answered my question! That guy is the friendliest person I've met so far! He seems nice.

Oy! Good show mate! I might put that as a sig one day...

 

[CyberPitz]

Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1: Didn't see you get on.
Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1:This is my third transfer this year.
Gordon: Oy mate, this bloke won't answer me, can you tell me where I am?
Citizen 2: No matter how many times I get transferred I never get used to it.
Gordon: Okay, but where am I? And what's that flying thing? Hey, little robot, where am I?
Scanner: *flash*
Gordon: AAAAH! MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
CP: Get back citizen! *hit*
Gordon: OW! MY HEAD AND MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
Breen: Welcome... Welcome to City 17...
Gordon: Thankyou! Finally someone answered my question! That guy is the friendliest person I've met so far! He seems nice.

Buwahahaha..I actually was roffling out of my chair on that.

 

[Dr. Breen]

I read this entire thread and now I envy all of you.

 

[Dr. Breen]

Me:


"Welcome. Welcome to City 17.

You have chosen, or been chosen, to relocate to one of our finest remaining urban centers. I thought so much of City 17 that I elected to establish my Administration here, in the Citadel so thoughtfully provided by our benefactors. I have been proud to call City 17 my home. And so, whether you are here to stay, or passing through on your way to parts unknown, Welcome to City 17. It's safer here.


Let me read a letter I recently received. 'Dear Dr. Breen. Why has the Combine seen fit to suppress our reproductive cycle? Sincerely, A Concerned Citizen.'

Thank you for writing, Concerned. Of course your question touches on one of the basic biological impulses, with all its associated hopes and fears for the future of the species. I also detect some unspoken questions. Do our benefactors really know what's best for us? What gives them the right to make this kind of decision for mankind? Will they ever deactivate the suppression field and let us breed again?

Allow me to address the anxieties underlying your concerns, rather than try to answer every possible question you might have left unvoiced. First, let us consider the fact that for the first time ever, as a species, immortality is in our reach. This simple fact has far-reaching implications. It requires radical rethinking and revision of our genetic imperatives. It also requires planning and forethought that run in direct opposition to our neural pre-sets.

I find it helpful at times like these to remind myself that our true enemy is Instinct. Instinct was our mother when we were an infant species. Instinct coddled us and kept us safe in those hardscrabble years when we hardened our sticks and cooked our first meals above a meager fire and started at the shadows that leapt upon the cavern's walls. But inseparable from Instinct is its dark twin, Superstition. Instinct is inextricably bound to unreasoning impulses, and today we clearly see its true nature. Instinct has just become aware of its irrelevance, and like a cornered beast, it will not go down without a bloody fight. Instinct would inflict a fatal injury on our species. Instinct creates its own oppressors, and bids us rise up against them. Instinct tells us that the unknown is a threat, rather than an opportunity. Instinct slyly and covertly compels us away from change and progress. Instinct, therefore, must be expunged. It must be fought tooth and nail, beginning with the basest of human urges: The urge to reproduce.

We should thank our benefactors for giving us respite from this overpowering force. They have thrown a switch and exorcised our demons in a single stroke. They have given us the strength we never could have summoned to overcome this compulsion. They have given us purpose. They have turned our eyes toward the stars.

Let me assure you that the suppressing field will be shut off on the day that we have mastered ourselves...the day we can prove we no longer need it. And that day of transformation, I have it on good authority, is close at hand.


We now have direct confirmation of a disruptor in our midst, one who has acquired an almost messianic reputation in the minds of certain citizens. His figure is synonymous with the darkest urges of instinct, ignorance and decay. Some of the worst excesses of the Black Mesa Incident have been laid directly at his feet. And yet unsophisticated minds continue to imbue him with romantic power, giving him such dangerous poetic labels as the One Free Man, the Opener of the Way.

Let me remind all citizens of the dangers of magical thinking. We have scarcely begun to climb from the dark pit of our species' evolution. Let us not slide backward into oblivion, just as we have finally begun to see the light. If you see this so-called Free Man, report him. Civic deeds do not go unrewarded. And contrariwise, complicity with his cause will not go unpunished.

Be wise. Be safe. Be aware.


I have been asked to say a few words to the transhuman arm of Sector Seventeen Overwatch, concerning recent successes in containing members of the resistance Science Team.

Let me say up front that I regret having to temper my heartfelt congratulations with a strong measure of disappointment. But I wouldn't be doing my duty as your Administrator if I didn't pass along the message I have received from our Benefactors.

The capture of Eli Vance is an event of major significance, make no mistake. And while it's true that conceivably we could have taken him at almost any time in the last several years, the manner of his capture may prove to have unexpected benefits. It cannot have gone unnoticed by all resistance members that Doctor Vance's capture coincided with the act of giving shelter to Gordon Freeman. This might cause other resistance members to think twice before harboring Doctor Freeman. It might cause them to question his allegiance; even prompt some to turn him out, or turn him over to our cause. However, we cannot count on such developments. Doctor Freeman's reputation is such that other desperate renegades are likely to grant him a great deal of license in the spirit of spreading general chaos and terror.

This brings me to the one note of disappointment I must echo from our Benefactors. Obviously I am not on the ground to closely command or second-guess the dedicated forces of the Overwatch, but this does not mean I can shirk responsibility for recent lapses and even outright failures on their part. I have been severely questioned about these shortcomings, and now must put the question to you: How could one man have slipped through your force's fingers time and time again? How is it possible? This is not some agent provocateur or highly trained assassin we are discussing. Gordon Freeman is a theoretical physicist who had hardly earned the distinction of his Ph.D. at the time of the Black Mesa Incident. I have good reason to believe that in the intervening years, he was in a state that precluded further development of covert skills. The man you have consistently failed to slow, let alone capture, is by all standards simply that--an ordinary man. How can you have failed to apprehend him? Well...I will leave the upbraiding for another time, to the extent it proves necessary. Now is the moment to redeem yourselves. If the transhuman forces are to prove themselves an indispensable augmentation to the Combine Overwatch, they will have to earn the privilege. I'm sure I don't have to remind you that the alternative, if you can call it that, is total extinction - in union with all the other unworthy branches of the species. Let's not allow it to come to that. I have done my best to convince our Benefactors that you are the finest the species has to offer. So far they have accepted my argument, but without concrete evidence to back it up, my words sound increasingly hollow even to me. The burden of proof is on you. As is the consequence of failure. I'll just leave it at that.


It has come to my attention that some have lately called me a collaborator, as if such a term were shameful. I ask you, what greater endeavor exists than that of collaboration? In our current unparalleled enterprise, refusal to collaborate is simply a refusal to grow--an insistence on suicide, if you will.

Did the lungfish refuse to breathe air? It did not. It crept forth boldly while its brethren remained in the blackest ocean abyss, with lidless eyes forever staring at the dark, ignorant and doomed despite their eternal vigilance. Would we model ourselves on the trilobite? Are all the accomplishments of humanity fated to be nothing more than a layer of broken plastic shards thinly strewn across a fossil bed, sandwiched between the Burgess shale and an eon's worth of mud?

In order to be true to our nature, and our destiny, we must aspire to greater things. We have outgrown our cradle. It is futile to cry for mother's milk, when our true sustenance awaits us among the stars. And only the universal union that small minds call 'The Combine' can carry us there.

Therefore I say, yes, I am a collaborator. We must all collaborate, willingly, eagerly, if we expect to reap the benefits of unification. And reap we shall.


I'd like to take a moment to address you directly, Dr. Freeman.

Yes. I'm talking to you. The so-called One Free Man. I have a question for you. How could you have thrown it all away? It staggers the mind. A man of science, with the ability to sway reactionary and fearful minds toward the truth, choosing instead to embark on a path of ignorance and decay. Make no mistake, Dr. Freeman. This is not a scientific revolution you have sparked...this is death and finality.

You have plunged humanity into freefall. Even if you offered your surrender now, I cannot guarantee that our benefactors would accept it. At the moment, I fear they have begun to look upon even me with suspicion. So much for serving as humanity's representative.

Help me win back their trust, Dr. Freeman. Surrender while you still can. Help ensure that humanity's trust in you is not misguided.

Do what is right, Dr. Freeman. Serve mankind.


So, this is Dr. Freeman...at last. I wish I could say this was a pleasant surprise, but it's neither a surprise and, as I'm sure you would agree, not very pleasant. Well, I'm nothing if not pragmatic. Well, Dr. Freeman, under other cirumstances I like to think we might have been able to work together in an atmosphere of mutual trust and respect. Judging from your brief tenure at Black Mesa, you showed every promise of becoming a valuble and productive contributor to the scientific process. And yet, I'm not sure what spurred you to it, but we don't really have a place in this enterprise for a rogue physicist. Your mentors are partly to blame, of course; my disappointment in Eli Vance and Issac Kliener is far greater than my sorrow for your unfotunate choice of career path. In a way I suppose you could not have done otherwise. Who knows what seeds of iconoclasm they planted in you when you were young and gullible? While they certainly share a great part of the responsibility for the recent troubles, it is you alone who has chosen to act with such willful disregard for humanity's future. Tell me, Dr. Freeman, if you can: you have destroyed so much ? what is it exactly that you have created? Can you name even one thing? ... I thought not. I have laid the foundation for humanity's survival, and not as we have narrowly defined ourselves but as something greater than we could ever imagine, something that we can now only begin to glimpse. Look, Gordon, look at what you are throwing away. Is it worth it?"


Gordon Freeman:

{o,o}
|)__)
-"-"-
"O RLY?"


Yeah, I know. It's stupid, old and lacks craftiness. I fail at life...

 

[Ridge]

Breen: Tell me Doctor Freeman, if you can. You have destroyed so much, what is it exactly that you have created? Can you name even one thing?
Gordon: I made a pile of corpses out of your soldiers. How d'ya like that, ya tit?

Awesome!

 

[highlander]

This thread wins.

 

[Jintor]

Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1: Didn't see you get on.
Gordon: Where am I?
Citizen 1:This is my third transfer this year.
Gordon: Oy mate, this bloke won't answer me, can you tell me where I am?
Citizen 2: No matter how many times I get transferred I never get used to it.
Gordon: Okay, but where am I? And what's that flying thing? Hey, little robot, where am I?
Scanner: *flash*
Gordon: AAAAH! MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
CP: Get back citizen! *hit*
Gordon: OW! MY HEAD AND MY EYES! WHERE AM I?
Breen: Welcome... Welcome to City 17...
Gordon: Thankyou! Finally someone answered my question! That guy is the friendliest person I've met so far! He seems nice.

I'm seeing a GMod comic...

 

[nokori3byo]

Father Grigori: Did I not tell you to seek the church?

Gordon: Yeah, that's great, Padre. You can be my shining beacon of hope after I LIGHT YOUR ASS ON FIRE!"

--or--

Alyx: It looks like you could have used some help...

Gordon: Help? What gave me away? I'm bleeding from my eyes. I need a torso transplant. Oh, and call me old fashioned, but I've always prefered to keep my spleen inside my body and my nose attached to my face. So unless you've got a spare pancreas stashed in your fanny pack, DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT HELP!

(edited for extra detail)

 

[Asknoone]

Barney: "Looks like your quite the returning hero these days Gordon!"
Gordon: "What...what's that some kind of joke?"

 

[15357]

CP:ARRRGGHRRHRRHHH...ooooooooweeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Warning: Life signal lost for-
Gordon: Boom! HEADSHOT!

 

[ScroogeMcDuck]

Alyx: "Over here! Hah! No you don't."

*Pow, Punch! whamm, Splatt!*

Alyx: "Dr.Freeman I presume? We better go."
Gordon: "Oh my god! You killed six guards with your bare fists with only four punches....that's....that's not even possible, what are you!?!"

 

[Remus]

LOL^

Dr. Kleiner: Don't worry Gordon she's debeaked and completely harmless.
Gordon: *BOOOM* Now she's harmless

 

[Dr. Breen]

Alyx: "Over here! Hah! No you don't."

*Pow, Punch! whamm, Splatt!*

Alyx: "Dr.Freeman I presume? We better go."
Gordon: "Oh my god! You killed six guards with your bare fists with only four punches....that's....that's not even possible, what are you!?!"

I guess I've enjoyed the game so much that I've never even noticed that...

 

[Shift]

*Throws bottle at citzen*
Citizen: Don't drink the water. Th-they put something in it. To make you forget. I don't even remember how I got here.
Gordon: Yeah I think you just forgot I bottled ya..

Vortigaunt: The Freeman will accept this weapon, or suffer greatly on the road ahead...
Gordon: Ok but you do realise im curently travelling on a river, not a road

Alyx: Thats the old passage to Ravenholm, we dont go there anymore...
Gordon:Why?
*Alyx walks off*
Gordon: Why??? What is it? Bad accomadation? Bad food? Landlords' an arsehole? What?!

 

[AJ Rimmer]

*Throws bottle at citzen*
Citizen: Don't drink the water. Th-they put something in it. To make you forget. I don't even remember how I got here.
Gordon: Yeah I think you just forgot I bottled ya..

Vortigaunt: The Freeman will accept this weapon, or suffer greatly on the road ahead...
Gordon: Ok but you do realise im curently travelling on a river

Alyx: Thats the old passage to Ravenholm, we dont go there anymore...
Gordon:Why?
*Alyx walks off*
Gordon: Why??? What is it? Bad accomadation? Bad food? Landlords' an arsehole? What?!

*twenty minutes later*
Gordon: Okay, landlord's an arsehole and there are freaky-ass zombies there. Glad to have cleared that up.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

^

 

[el Chi]

Barney: "Aw hell Gordon - were ya followed?"

Gordon: "Okay you know what - f*ck you Calhoun, 'cause I'm not in the mood to play the f*cking blame game, alright? It appears that yes, Alyx and I were followed, but bitching won't help so either make yourself useful or shut the hell up... 'kay?"




Barney: "Ya left this in Black Mesa!"

Gordon: "Yeah, I had a bunch of weapons in Black Mesa. I'm sure the crowbar's symbolic and all but is that seriously the best you can do? Honestly, I'd settle for a pistol at this point."