Half-Life2 jokes

What did Alyx say to Gordon when they, uh, met somewhere and were, umm, walking or something?


Take off those horrible glasses Gordon, you look stupid. have you ever got out the lab? Ahhaha omg what a nerd.


Well I think it's pretty clear now who has the best jokes. Just tell me if you want more.
 
OK, I've got another one.

Gordon was walking down the street and suddenly got hit by a car. The driver rushed out and asked Gordon if he was allright. What did Gordon answer?

I think I'm half alive

Hahah omg half alive, as in Half-Life. Hahah...haha...aha.
 
Hive said:
That one isnt that funny.
Click to expand...

Which one do you mean? The funny one or that other one that is less funny? I'm guessing the latter
 
Lol some funny ones.and some well ur not so funn-, well some are just flipping crap
 
OH come on its not that bad, g-spot / g-man
the gee-man was funny, some gr8 ones
 
What did Barney say to Gordon when he wanted to get through a door?


Hey, catch me later, i'll buy you a beer.
 
Why call it 'half-life'?

Thats how long you need to wait for a sequel
 
Okay here goes ...

So we're in a bar, and we have Gordon, Barney, Alyx, G-man, Headcrab, Shepard, and Zombiescientistguy. They're all having a good time, hanging - just chillin', cracking jokes about eachothers moma's.
Suddenly, The godfather walks in, with his 'family' besides him. Most customers leave right away, leaving their belongings behind them, to scared to even think twice.
The godfather walks up to our table, and looks them all in the eye, and says to them in his typical italian sour voice:
-"Why you doing this to mee? Hav I not been good to you? I came to you as a friend, and you putte di knife inne my back?"
The headcrab can't stand it any longer, and jumps on the godfathers head. Zombiescientist guy goes for it and grabs an Alyxboob. Gordon kisses Barney and Barney returns the favor, all the while g-man is lighting another cigarette from the fart Shepard just set on fire.

THE END
 
bliink said:
Why call it 'half-life'?

Thats how long you need to wait for a sequel
Click to expand...

lol ... *drum beats and cymbals* ... nice ...
 
OK...A Man/Woman walks into a gaming shop and buys a copy of HL2....They rush home, rip open the box and install the game but soon find it won't install........Why.....

Because they need an Internet connection to activate it...........Boom Boom....


HAHAHAhahahahahahahaha............The classic's always give me a good laugh....
 
Expansion Pack said:
OK...A Man/Woman walks into a gaming shop and buys a copy of HL2....They rush home, rip open the box and install the game but soon find it won't install........Why.....

Because they need an Internet connection to activate it...........Boom Boom....


HAHAHAhahahahahahahaha............The classic's always give me a good laugh....
Click to expand...

A clear case of fanboy assholism.

(j/k)
 
Some of the bad jokes remind me of my cousin...

Cousin: knock knock
Me: who's there?
Cousin: gun
Me: gun who?
Cousin (yelling really loud into my ear): BANG!
 
Ahh I'm still njoying this. Tho I do question whether some of these classify as 'jokes'. Hmm

Here are more!!

What do the farmers of city 17 use to harvest their barley?
Combine harvesters

A guy's in a pub talking to this forum. "Hey forum", he says, "My mate was out upgrading his PC for HL2 and he wanted a new processor and gfx card." "Wow" says the forum as he lights a cigarette, "Is his PC now capable of running HL2 on hgh resolution?" "No he didn't get the upgrades after all." Forum looked shocked; "Oh! No way! How come?" He queried
"He didn't have enough money for 'um (forum).

What did Gordon wear to his job interview?
A hazard suit and tie.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A combine solider, who's after killing you
Hey why didn't you just come in and start shooting me?
Cos there's a table in the way
 
Just read someone "Customer Preview" Of hl2 on the EB website which I thought was pretty funny...

"i dont know what all da hype is about. i got 2 play it and those videos u all downloaded are crap. half life 2 uses the same graphics engine as hl1. they look the same. there are maybe 2 new weapons and 6 new enemies. that's it. no gravity gun. no stiders. they made up the whole 'source physics engine' thing. "
 
What do you call a PC that you can sit on?



A Citadel.
 
Why wouldnt gordon and alyx make a good couple?












because gordon likes cats and alyx has a dog
 
What happened when all the citizens of City 17 refused to work for the Combine anymore due to their work conditions?

The Combine started a Counter-strike
 
What do you call a train that runs on ketchup?


A Sauce Engine
 
Definition of Counterstrike Source:

Having to wait for your burger at the shop counter for so long that you strike the shop assistant with the sauce bottle...
 
I heard that instead of making Counterstrike 2, Valve have started work on Counterstrike : Sourcier, which is basically like the current version, but with terrorists and counter-terrorists running around in lingerie........

go, go, go, sweetie....
 
Why do the Combine Elite wear white uniforms?

It keeps them from being seen in all the Steam.

(ba dum kssch)

Okay, bad joke.. i'm trying to think better ones up, i'll post if my brain comes up with anything.
 
Why does Alyx have duct tape on the front of her jacket?



Well when Valve implemented the world physics, she had to keep those beauties stable some how...
 
..So Gordon walks into Valve HQ and has to go to the bathroom, he tells Gabe this but just about he's going to ask for the way to the toilet, Gabe hits a silent alarm and Gordon is quickly arrested and taken away.

Lombardi walks by and asks what happened.
Gabe replies:
He was going to take a Leak!
 
Why is Valve's new engine so environmentally friendly?


Because it runs on Steam
 
Why don't chickens cross the road in cs_italy?


There are no chickens, but they can easily be modded in...
 
Did you hear about the forward thinking Heinz employee who downloaded the source code thinking it might be a new recipe for ketchup?
 
Why did Gordon eventually leave Alyx?


He had nothing to talk about
 
Why are there no cats in City 17?


They hate being chased by Dog
 
How come Eli only has one leg?


He lost the other when Dog tried to hump it....
 
Why doesn't Mossman ever laugh?


How happy would you be having to wear the damn cream turtleneck around everyday??
 
What do you get when you cross Twinkie the kid and a game Developer





WHO CARES GABE IS FAT!!111one



Oh i'm so hilarious *sarcasm*
 
Why did Valve remove the Antlion guard from the game?

Because it kept butting in during important cut scenes
 
"Knock knock...."

"Who's th... I didn't even know we still had a door"
 
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