Half-Life2 jokes

[BRODIEMAN2k4]

Why did Valve remove the Antlion guard from the game?

Spoiler

Because it kept butting in during important cut scenes

I don't get it?

 

[CrazyHarij]

Two really bad jokes, can't be arsed to try and come up with any more at the moment...

Why is Gordons nemesis is called the G-man?
He scares the baGEEsus out of everyone with that voice.

It's easy to steal source-code, the hard thing is getting away with it. You must carry it very carefully so you don't spill any.

 

[mbrithoms]

What Happened when Gorden went to Mount Olive

Spoiler

Alex and Popeye kicked his teeth in

When is it proper to hit a Vortigaunt

Spoiler

When he says Alyx's hair smells nice

 

[bam23]

A bar ouches into a man and says gordon.

 

[denlife7]

Where are all the children in City 17?

Spoiler

Playing Halo2 on their xbox

 

[Naudian]

denlife holy jeez post them all at once, not one after the other....but funny stuff man gj...unless youre stealing them from some site :O

A bar ouches into a man and says gordon.

AND WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!?!??!/1/1

 

[MadHatter]

Why did Valve remove the Antlion guard from the game?

Spoiler

Because it kept butting in during important cut scenes

Wha? They removed the ant lion gaurd? Am I just silly enough to believe this guy or am I really slacking with the news?

 

[ne0_shiny]

How come Eli only has one leg?

Spoiler

He lost the other when Dog tried to hump it....

haha this one is the best :cheers:

 

[Yogibbear]

Wha? They removed the ant lion gaurd? Am I just silly enough to believe this guy or am I really slacking with the news?

You're silly.....

 

[MadHatter]

lol, okay.

 

[ZeeM]

Why did the chicken leave CS Italy?

Spoiler

Because he got run over while crossing the road

haha the best by far

 

[SLH]

What's the different between a headcrab and Alyx?

One goes for your head, the other gives you......

Ok, ok, it's not that funny.

 

[MFL]

Guy1: I have seen everything.
Guy2: Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?
Guy1:No.
Guy2:Then you haven't seen everything.

 

[SLH]

What do you get if you cross a headcrab with Alyx?


Something that talks in a sexy voice whilst sitting on your face.

 

[[daniom]]

Why didn`t G-man talk to Gordon untill late in the end of hl1 ?

Spoiler

G-man is gay and too shy, he wants to take gordon from the ass

 

[SLH]

What do you get if you cross Gordon with the G-Man?

A mute with a speech problem.

 

[[daniom]]

What do you get if you cross Alyxx with the G-Man?

A litle G-man baby with a litle blue dress and tiny suitcase

 

[denlife7]

denlife holy jeez post them all at once, not one after the other....but funny stuff man gj...unless youre stealing them from some site :O

sorry about the post frenzy, but the jokes just kept coming to me

and no, I didn't steal any of them, they are all from my warped mind, remember the headcrab in the crotch caption poll?? :cheese:

 

[SoulCannibal]

Why did the Headcrab cross the road?






Because he was stapled to a Chicken.

Best one so far.

 

[KurtCobain]

Wha? They removed the ant lion gaurd? Am I just silly enough to believe this guy or am I really slacking with the news?

Lol come on man , the ant lions head butts people and sends you flying.

 

[Seppo]

What's the difference between Gordon and Alyx?

Spoiler

The other is so hot you can't sleep at nights, while the other is just a sexy female character in a video game

 

[DrEvil]

Why does Alyx have duct tape on the front of her jacket?

Spoiler

Well when Valve implemented the world physics, she had to keep those beauties stable some how...

lol !!!!!!!!!1 (It's actually not that funny ,pretty funny but not that funny but I had to add all those exclamation marks to fill in 10 characters)

 

[DrEvil]

sorry about the post frenzy, but the jokes just kept coming to me

and no, I didn't steal any of them, they are all from my warped mind, remember the headcrab in the crotch caption poll?? :cheese:

Your jokes were the best by far.

 

[Orange]

how'd the headcrab cross the rode?

it jumped on the chicken and zombified it.

the strider f*cked one and the gman win.
crow bar was good too ;D

 

[CrazyHarij]

What's the difference between Gordon and Alyx?

Spoiler

The other is so hot you can't sleep at nights, while the other is just a sexy female character in a video game

LOL
:cheers:

I hear ya, I wouldn't be surprised if Half-Life 2 turns us into homosexuals