Have you ever contemplated suicide?

Never seriously seriously. More a 'What would they do if I suicided' kinda thing, rather than 'Hey, Mr Knife, meet Mr Wrist...'
 
Of course. Not really like a "ok I'm doing it tomorrow night at 9 PM" type thing, but I have.

I hated High School a lot. If my teachers could see where I am now they'd probably fall out of their chair (I only graduated a year ago, too).

Well, some of them.
 
No I haven't, I do not believe suicide to be an option under any circumstances, to me its a major sign of weakness. It takes far more guts to stand up to whatever the trouble is in life and see it through, you have been given a life so why throw it away so cheaply when other people die when all they wanna do is live.

The only time I would contemplate suicide is if I was in war, captured and most likely will die anyway, and think about killing myself so i dont leak any infomation. BUT LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN!
 
Dunno. I think I've thought about it, like as a "what if" sort of thing, but I don't think it's ever come across as a valid option, no matter how bad things might have been.

I'm not saying it's something I'd never, ever do, but things would have to be REALLY bad, and the alternative so unthinkable that it would be my only way out.

That or someone tells me to become an hero on 4chan. Ouch, those guys really know how to hit you hard.
 
I thought how would I commit suicide if I wanted to (and I don't :)). I've come to the conclusion that jumping off a high building would be the most awesome way.

But I've also thought stuff like how much it would suck if I suddenly had an overpowering urge to stab myself in the throat with that kitchen knife I'm holding right now. Just for a split se- *stab* --AAAAARGHHH...KHHH...khhh *dramatically exhales*
 
Once, in the space of 2 seconds, and then it was gone. Nope - I love being alive too much.
 
Absolutely not. No matter how bad things are, I have never even given it a thought. The mere notion uneases me.
 
Shift said:
No I haven't, I do not believe suicide to be an option under any circumstances, to me its a major sign of weakness. It takes far more guts to stand up to whatever the trouble is in life and see it through, you have been given a life so why throw it away so cheaply when other people die when all they wanna do is live.
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You think people who suffer from severe depression don't want to fix their problems?

I'm sorry, but saying (paraphrase) "tough it out, pussy" is neither helpful or informed. Contemplating suicide is not rational thinking. It's a product of extended periods (possibly years) of misery, loneliness, and feelings of worthlessness. It can make even the smallest steps towards recovery seem insurmountable. It is a weakness, but not the kind you're thinking of, as it is not necessarily an act driven by cowardice or wanting the "easy" way out. It's just a way to stop feeling like shit.

I used to be pretty harsh on people who commit suicide up until pretty recently, which was ironic considering my own problems. But I eventually found that to be pretty arrogant and hypocritical of me.
 
If I had a gun I'd have done it by now.

One night I took a load of sleeping pills and selotaped a bin liner over my head. I woke up in my own vomit and the bag torn open. I know to bind my hands next time too.

I'm in a different frame of mind for the time being, things could go either way.
 
Jesus, now i'm depressed.

I've had some pretty low points, but have always found solace in friends/family/music/books and have never considered ending it all. If experience has taught me anything it's that these feelings rarely last. If they do, it's time to go and seak some professional help - something that nobody should be ashamed of doing if they're unhappy.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjnvSQuv-H4[/YOUTUBE]
 
Therapy didn't "cure" me, but it certainly helped and gave me perspective on a lot of things. The healthiest part of it was simply verbally expressing my thoughts and problems. Because these aren't things you generally say out loud. It's all internalized. Actually hearing your own words helps you frame the issues and even recognize things that had never occurred to you previously.
 
Xune said:
If I had a gun I'd have done it by now.

One night I took a load of sleeping pills and selotaped a bin liner over my head. I woke up in my own vomit and the bag torn open. I know to bind my hands next time too.

I'm in a different frame of mind for the time being, things could go either way.
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seek medical help ..seriously




whatever reasoning you may have for committing suicide it's completely meaningless ..or at least will seem that way 10 years after the fact ..dont deny yourself the opportunity to later on say "god I cant believe I was upset about that" ..people change, you'll change eventually ..whatever depression you're living under will eventually go away or at least subside long enough that you can live a productive life .. in the meantime you can help it go away sooner by seeking out medical help ..it is very important that chronically depressed people seek medical help, it can literally mean the difference between life and death


and yes everyone thinks about suicide, that's normal ...what's not normal is following through with your thoughts of suicide ..whatever ails you is perferable to death because death is permanent, depression is not
 
To follow on a little from Sterny - I had a friend at university that tried to kill himself. His gf left him, his grades were suffering and his family were a bunch of ****s who really didn't care. After drinking a bottle of vodka he decided enough was enough and necked a load of pills he found in the kitchen. Fortunately he's also a little bit thick and chose Antihistamines - not deadly (at least in the quantity he took), but made him go quite strange. Today he's happy, married, good job and has just had his first kid - we laugh about it now.
 
There's two basic types of depression, at least how I see it. You have the kind that's physically caused through neurological issues or chemical imbalances, and there is the kind that is caused by social situations, whether involving love or economic issues or a general dissatisfaction of how your life is going.

The worst one is the former, where you can at times have no reason to be unhappy or depressed, generally feeling like shit. It's the most confusing of them all.
 
Yes, but I imagine it's also the case where drugs can be most effective.
 
Solaris said:
Yes, but I imagine it's also the case where drugs can be most effective.
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Yes, you're right. But medication is expensive and it's not without its own host of potentially serious side effects.

Heh... reminds me of those commercials for the fewer periods pill. "Hmm... well on one hand, I'll have fewer periods, and you know how wonderful that'll be even if I bleed more... but on the other hand, it could make my heart explode!"

It's AMAZING what sort of side effects there are in some of this medication. I mean you have arthritis medication, with a potential side effect of killing you through normal use. What would make a person choose between such a tossup?
 
I heard anti-depressent drugs are pointless to use, and merely mitigate the depression for short periods of time like alcohol, and it doesn't actually cure the problem in any way.
 
Shift said:
I heard anti-depressent drugs are pointless to use, and merely mitigate the depression for short periods of time like alcohol, and it doesn't actually cure the problem in any way.
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It's a treatment, not a cure.
 
I don't think about me ending it all, but I do think about what happens after I die. Where do I go? What happens?

I wish we could explore the mysteries beyond death.
 
Solaris said:
It's a treatment, not a cure.
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Bingo.

Anti-depressants are not meant to be a cure. They're just meant to lift you out of the gutter for a bit so you can pursue a real solution.
 
Really contemplated killing myself? HELL NO!
 
I've thought about killing myself before, as I believe most people have. It's one of those subjects that glance across your mind every so often. I haven't truly wanted to kill myself; only thought of what would happen, what would everyone think; which generally leads me to thinking, "I've got lots of life left, why the hell would I do that?"
 
Not that I can recall.

Once when I was drunk beyond any sences I thought about how pathetic my life was at that moment, and that what I had at that moment could barely be considered a life. It's hard to explain in words, but it was a really strange feeling.
 
Occasionally when I feel really bored with my life...but then I remember that it probably hurts like sh*t to die.
 
Probably, a long time ago.

Luckily, I suffer from an acute fear of death.
 
I've got trillions and trillions and brazillans of years to be dead coming up, might as well live for the next 90 whilst I still can.
 
The Monkey said:
Not that I can recall.

Once when I was drunk beyond any sences I thought about how pathetic my life was at that moment, and that what I had at that moment could barely be considered a life. It's hard to explain in words, but it was a really strange feeling.
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Yeah, had one of those too. Real acute. It's the only time I ever broke down in front of my friends.

I can't recall a trigger either. It's like it just came out spontaneously.
 
no, I can't imagine why you would want suicide unless you were really ****ed up, like no arms or legs, or some sort of terminal disease. If things are that bad, just grab a bag and go walking. Catch a plane to fiji, live your dreams if you've really got nothing to lose.
 
Raziaar said:
The worst one is the former, where you can at times have no reason to be unhappy or depressed, generally feeling like shit. It's the most confusing of them all.
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Ha, it doesn't help when someone gets the nerve to go up to you when in your in this state and their like "Stop grabbing attention! You have no reason to be depressed, you have it so much better then everyone else."

I've thought about suicide a lot, I've wanted to do it a few times, but I always have stopped myself with the single thought:
"But what if everyone misses me..."
 
Like for a second, but then I shook myself out of it with something like "wow, if I killed myself I'd be seriously pissed off because I have so much more to do" type of thing
 
I often think about killing myself, although less so recently. All I can do is wait in hope that the worst never happens.

Raziaar raised a good point. There needs to be a distinction between depression caused by internal physiological factors and depression caused by external circumstances. Mine is the latter - I can reason out everything that is getting me down. My dismal mindset is a result of my dismal situation. I know exactly what is wrong with my life and exactly what would need to happen to make it more tolerable for me. Unfortunately the prospects of those things happening are remote.

I also disagree that suicide is by definition irrational. Certainly, it most often is. But if you have reason to believe that the likelihood of suffering in your life ahead is so great as to outweigh any potential happiness you might find, or if you are rationally convinced that you are by your nature a danger/threat/detriment to the physical or mental wellbeing of others - or your very own - then it is not necessarily an irrational choice to decide that nonexistence is a viable option. Of course, in contrast it might be the case that it's actually rare for these conditions to be true, while by contrast suicide is very common, but 'rare' is not 'never'.

There was a guy in the next street from me who got mixed up with drugs and gangs, to the extent that he started being threatened by some nasty people. I don't know the details of his involvement with them, but they wanted something from him and told him they would harm his family (sister and mother) if he didn't supply it. He hung himself in the end (his life maybe wasn't too great anyway) and the gang lost interest. I don't think anyone can assert with certainty that his suicide caused more damage than it prevented. Perhaps there were other options, I don't know, but I won't criticise his choice by saying it was wrong by definition.

Even where suicide is not a rational choice, it does not do to pour scorn on the person who is considering it, or the memory of someone who did it. If you have not experienced the oppressiveness and pervasiveness of 'clinical' depression, then it is cruel and arrogant to think you have any place to dismiss as weakness the behaviour of those who do experience it. Some of the harsh reactions to the choice of suicide are all out of proportion - it's like some people, if they saw another person crying in the street, would stop to help them, but if they later learned that that person was so miserable that they committed suicide, then they'd take a piss on the grave of the deceased. This makes no sense to me. Sure, you can harp on about the people that person left behind, but in truth most of the time when people criticise a suicide they have no idea if that person left anyone behind at all who cared - in truth, what most people hate is the perceived weakness of the dead person. What people tend to forget is that attacking the weak just means you are another weakling.
 
Solaris said:
I've got trillions and trillions and brazillans of years to be dead coming up, might as well live for the next 90 whilst I still can.
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So, you're 10?

That explains A LOT.
 
Skipping what others have said for a moment I'll post my post first because I have indeed really contemplated it, twice to be exact.

The first time, I took a long, hard look into the mirror and thought, "You ain't worth it, kid." In retrospect, this was one of the stupidest things I've ever thought.

The second time I was going trough a phase in which I had become mentally unstable, (not depressed or anything) which made me extremely paranoid and for some reason I thought people were trying to kill me, even my parents. So later one day I cut myself with a small Allen tool, and poured choride into the wound. I felt awfully intoxicated for a few good days (my vision was blurred and I couldn't seem to sense smell in anything), but I didn't suicide successfully (and thankfully).

Now I'm perfectly fine and not considering any more suicide attempts in the future :D

edit:

Sinko - can you elaborate on your "derealization" condition? What were your feelings or thoughts?

Raziaar - don't leave this place again dude :(
 
I've felt pain so great that I wanted to kill myself right there and then, but I've never seriously considered killing myself, even though I'm depressed at times.
 
Raziaar - don't leave this place again dude
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I wasn't really planning on returning... but I had nothing else to do at the time so I sort of posted and... I'm having trouble stopping.
 
Christ, sea. Get over yourself.

I've thought about it, sure. Mostly in a hypothetical state of mind. "Could I ever? Would I ever? What would it feel like?" thoughts.

I think it'll probably be the way i die, although I'm not depressed or anything. It just seems about right. I just don't have the balls to do it.
 
Raziaar said:
I wasn't really planning on returning... but I had nothing else to do at the time so I sort of posted and... I'm having trouble stopping.
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I've missed you, buddy.

When you guys have contemplated it, now that you look back on it, does it still seem like a good reason to suicide?
 
evil^milk said:
Sinko - can you elaborate on your "derealization" condition? What were your feelings or thoughts?
Click to expand...

The feeling is really ineffable, but it basically feels like nothing is real.

It's a side effect of anxiety. So usually, when things start becoming unreal, you're already in a paranoid state of mind, and the fact that things become unreal feeling just makes it worse. You start thinking "What if I don't exist? What if i'm just a mental fabrication?"

Things like "what if i'm really actually schizophrenic, and any moment now i'm going to wake up in the back of a van on the way to the crazy house?"

"what if i'm actually in a coma?"

"what if i'm somebody elses dream?"

So it usually culminates in EXTREME paranoia. I've had some particularly harrowing moments, there was the aforementioned time, were I was sitting in the corner of my room and screaming and crying my head off because I was positive that I didn't really exist, there was a time where I was sort of startled when the teacher cut the lights in class to play a video, and that slight jostle was enough to set me into a state of wondering if anybody around me really existed, so I was basically sitting in the middle of a dark room with people not paying attention to me, sweating and shaking because I kept justifying that everything was fake.

I recall that day clearly actually. It was at the beginning of wrestling season, and I had been attending every single practice, and really was trying to do my best. But as soon as the anxiety kicked in that day, the only thing I could think of was "I need to get home, I need to get home, I need to get home so I can sit down on my couch and think about this. I need to get home so I can talk with Raziaar, he can talk me out of this. Oh god, I hope Raziaar is on. Oh my god, maybe he doesn't even exist..."

The worst, for sure, is when you think "maybe i'm schizophrenic, and any single moment now, i'm going to wake up in the back of an ambulance, in a straight jacket".

What made those moments especially bad, was not knowing if my memories were real. You know how in a dream, you can look at a something like say, a poster, and have so many memories about going to the place on the poster, yet you've never actually been there, and it was just memories being supplanted into your mind by the dream state.

Well, I kept thinking "that's exactly what everything is. My mother doesn't really exist, my father doesn't really exist. I'm schizophrenic. I just lost control myself five minutes ago, and all those thoughts were instantly supplanted into my mind. They never happened, they're all a fabrication. I'm going to wake up in a few minutes in the back of an ambulance, and then lose control again, and i'll never even remember waking up in the van, and i'll have all these memories that never happened, all over again."

I'm sure you can see how that can be emotionally harrowing.

The derealization itself is just everything feeling fake. Things will look farther than they really are, or you'll lose depth perception completely, like you were watching a TV, or things will look like they're playing at 24 frames per second, again, as if you were watching a movie or something, or it'll be like you're watching everything from the the third person. There are tonnes of ways for the feeling to start.
 
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