helping a stranger

[kaf11]

So as some of you know, I live in a somewhat large city. On a daily basis, I'm approached by people asking me for spare change. I'm sure many of you get this as well. I always hear from people, including the Salvation Army, that you should never give them anything. I always feel aweful about it, but by setting a standard I never feel even worse for giving one man something, and another nothing. In addition to those who ask for change and then give you a quick "God bless" and continue on to the next person, there are those who stop me for five to ten minutes and weave for me a completely ridiculous story about why they need your help. My girlfriend was stopped by the same scam artist twice and given the same pitch about a dead best friend (he must not have recognized her the second time several months later). Anyway, today I was stopped by a man claiming to need the remainder of the cost to fix his flat tire/rim. Instantly my bullshit detector almost broke, by my second thought went to an article I recently read, one which touched on a recurring thought of mine I've had for a while. In the article, which describes a situation in my own city, a black man's car was having trouble, and the white female journalist stopped to help him. She didn't have the propper tire iron to help him, but decided to stay to see if there was anything she could do. She watched him for 30 or so minutes try to wave people down at a busy intersection. All my fellow residents did was try not too look at him as he frantically tried to get some assistance. His children were in the car the entire time watching as he humiliated himself. Finally, the journalist had seen enough and went to the intersection herself. Needless to say, a truck pulled over within seconds and the man's tire was soon repaired.

(see the rest of my story below)

 

[ktimekiller]

i need a mace...

 

[AzzMan]

Act like youre insane/on drugs all the time, they won't approach you...trust me....

 

[bryanf445]

So as some of you know, I live in a somewhat large city. On a daily basis, I'm approached by people asking me for spare change. I'm sure many of you get this as well. I always hear from people, including the Salvation Army, that you should never give them anything. I always feel aweful about it, but by setting a standard I never feel even worse for giving one man something, and another nothing. In addition to those who ask for change and then give you a quick "God bless" and continue on to the next person, there are those who stop me for five to ten minutes and weave for me a completely ridiculous story about why they need your help. My girlfriend was stopped by the same scam artist twice and given the same pitch about a dead best friend (he must not have recognized her the second time several months later). Anyway, today I was stopped by a man claiming to need the remainder of the cost to fix his flat tire/rim. Instantly my bullshit detector almost broke, by my second thought went to an article I recently read, one which touched on a recurring thought of mine I've had for a while. In the article, which describes a situation in my own city, a black man's car was having trouble, and the white female journalist stopped to help him. She didn't have the propper tire iron to help him, but decided to stay to see if there was anything she could do. She watched him for 30 or so minutes try to wave people down at a busy intersection. All my fellow residents did was try not too look at him as he frantically tried to get some assistance. His children were in the car the entire time watching as he humiliated himself. Finally, the journalist had seen enough and went to the intersection herself. Needless to say, a truck pulled over within seconds and the man's tire was soon repaired.

well your gf was telling me this too, you cant trust anyone really. I mean sure in some situations its not right, but you never know. You just have to stay away from those people, most of the time they just buy drugs or w/e with the money they get.

 

[Shodan]

Ouch, my eyes hurt.

The classic excuse in my area seems to be "Have you got 2 quid please mate I need it for the train to get home..."

"If you don't have the money why the **** did you come into the city?"

"Please mate I need to get home"

"You say that every time, **** off back to the shelter"

"How would you like it if you needed some mate and ya didn't have the money... mumble blah blah"

I have no time for junkies and other bastards, I just try to ignore them now.

 

[baxter]

I give to charities, of my own free choice, never under pressure, sorry I ignore them.

 

[StardogChampion]

Just breeze past them and waggle your hands at your pockets. That's the universal symbol of I don't want to give you my money.

I'd never give to beggars.

 

[Absinthe]

Best hit-up for money I ever experienced was some dude telling me he had an infection in his foot which was going to spread up to his heart and kill him. So... he needed spare change. Never mind that he looked perfectly fine in every way.

Saw him again a few weeks later and this time the infection wasn't spreading from his foot, but his shoulder.

 

[ricera10]

I remember when I was in 2nd grade a guy asked my dad for $5. Needless to say, 5 minutes later we saw him walking out of a store with a box of ciggarettes...

 

[TheSomeone]

I have no time for junkies and other bastards, I just try to ignore them now.

It's funny because I can picture you burning in hell when I close my eyes.

 

[Shamrock]

Think if they attacked you for such a vulgar response.. It would be funny..

 

[AzzMan]

It's funny because I can picture you burning in hell when I close my eyes.

Is it bad that I can picture myself in hell when I close my eyes? Although I'm not burning, usually sitting on a throne on a pile of millions of corpses, with a crown of flames, as I take over the universe one lousy soul at a time. skeet skeet skeet:hmph:

 

[Dog--]

Go to the bank and withdraw like fifteen 20's and go up to one and start waving all your money around in his face saying "I work hard for mah money! So hard for mah money!" It'll give them a clue as to not bother you Works For Me!

 

[Solaris]

That sorrys sad.
No-one stopped for him becuase he was black.
Shame on them.

 

[Sulkdodds]

There's this one guy in my area (just one guy) who constantly asks everyone for money for ridiculous reasons. He's asked me five times already. The first time, he said he needed the money to get out of the city because the cops were after him. He was so annoying I gave in and gave him a pound. Since then he's approached me four more times. No, you should be out of the city by now, the cops are after you!

- nah mate, they're not anymore

- THEY WILL BE!

 

[kaf11]

ok, sorry I got interupted, but here is the rest of my story (refer to my first post):

So I remembered this story about this man who honestly needed help and couldnt get any simply because of the color of his skin. The man who needed help with his tire was black. He had asked for help from everyone on the street, and people kept walking past him without consideration. After he gave me his speech, I thought to myself, "No, I'm not going to be that person who blows him off just because he is black and asking for help. Lets give him a minute of my time and see if his story checks out before I give him the $8.00 he needs." So I agree to help him out under the condition that I go to the repair shop around the corner and speak to the attendant that quoted him the repair cost earlier. We get there a minute later and the man who helped him happened to be gone. The first sign of a possible lie, but still a probable situation. The man then pleads for me to go to an atm and give him the money he needs. He gives me a dodgy identification card to hold onto with his apparent name on it, and the number of the auto repair shop in which he works. I tell him I wont do it unless he walks me to the truck and I see the flat tire myself.

So we go walking to the street he said he broke down on earlier. The entire time he's genuinely thanking me for this act of kindness. He told me about how other people would lock their car doors as he walked by earlier and about how he had been avoided. He even offered to pay me $20.00, a case of beer, and a free oil change in gratitude for my act of kindness. He was supposed to meet me later after he gets back to his shop, where his wallet was.

We eventually get to the street he supposedly broke down on, and it happens to be the street on which my bank/atm is on. He walks me to the bank, and I ask where his truck is. He then changes the story to, "Oh, I thought you were just giving me the money. The truck is the opposite way down this street." Hmmm. This is the dodgiest thing he's done yet, but at this point I think to myself, "Lets see just how far he'll go to get this money." So I withdraw $20.00 (which I needed last night for a case of beer anyway). He thanks me and says he only needs $15.00 now, but the $20.00 would do because he doesnt have change. "Why is it now $15.00? I was just going to go the repair shop to pay for the tire with you. I wasn't going to give you the money directly." His reply: "Oh, I need to take a cab to meet another person who has the car jack I need to bring the tire to the shop to get it fixed." At this point he is becoming a little more erratic. I take out the phone number of where he works and try to call them to verify his story, If it checks out I would have walked to his truck with him to once again try to see if he was telling the truth. On my cell, I call his work and get nothing. He tells me that they must be in the garage and cant hear the phone ring. I begin to walk back to my apartment (which is very close to where we were, I told him I was going to a friends house and that I live in a different part of the city, just in case), and he beigns to beg me for the money to get a taxi because he says they'll tow his truck any minute. He then points out a convienence store across the street in which an old woman works who he knows. So I say, "Lets go in and see her. She can give you the money and you can get this taken care of." He agreed and we went inside.

As I'm sure you already know, she wasn't there. The other attendants had never seen him either. I call his work number again and he gets more agitated. He then grabs other people in the store who claim to know him. They pause for a second looking at him, and then verify that he works at the repair shop he claimed to work at. They were lying, and I could practically smell the lies coming off of this man as he became more agitated that I wouldnt give him the money. So I decided to end this whole thing by asking for a phone book from the store clerk. As I begin to look up his work number to see if it matched the one he gave me, he tried to get between me and the book. I didn't even need to see the number, he knew that he was busted. He told me that another person in the store he knew would give him a ride, and that he doesnt need the taxi money anymore. So I tell him to have them pay for his bloody tire and I walk out.

I get home, after assuring myself that I wasn't followed back to my apartment, and I'm severely pissed off. I have just given nearly an hour of my time to a stranger in need, only to be the target of a scam. Of course I knew it was a hoodwink once things started to get suspicious, but I continued to pull him along just to see if there could be some truth. There wasn't. The first thing I did once I got home was go to the website of the garage he worked at and checked to see if the number he gave me was real. It wasn't. Trying to do something to help out an individual who couldn't get any help elsewhere was a mistake. I'm pissed off at him not for wasting my time, but because the next stranger in need of help who comes to me is going to get the same treatment the man got from others; turn my head away and lock my car door.

 

[bryanf445]

Seems like he didnt have his story planned out well enough. Should've figured someone like you would actually try and find out if the he is telling the truth or not. But since you went through all that trouble, youll know next time just to leave him alone.

 

[kaf11]

Yeah, part of me really did want to find his bloody truck and help him. Too bad I wasted time on him and not someone who really did need my help.

 

[Shodan]

It's funny because I can picture you burning in hell when I close my eyes.

Its not funny, because If I stop and give money to junkies and other people after pills or whatever, I'll get stabbed and robbed or killed and I'm not prepared to die for some piece of shit who wants my money to spend on drugs.