Humans Suck (mostly Dog--)

[Dog--]

Humans Suck (mostly Dog-- (j/k Dog-- is the best human)

I've been thinking (and by 'been thinking' I mean the thought popped into my head ten minutes ago), humans are like the worst possible animals..

How did we ever survive?

Besides our 'intelligence' we've got nothing. We can't run fast, we aren't strong, we can't hear that well, our noses suck and can't smell anything, we can't see that well (how many people you know have glasses? That makes shitty eyesight that much worse for our case). And it's not just that, but think about for example a litter of puppies from a wolf or something. They are born into a litter of like 4-5, and in like 15 weeks they can fend for themselves. Now think of a human baby. Born one by one, with the high possibility to kill the mother while being born (infections and what not), and even then the kid can't even BEGIN to fend for themselves until they are like 5 YEARS old.

Put a naked human in his prime (so like 18 year old) out in the wild and tell him to catch some food. He will either freeze to death, or starve to death. Rabbits outrun us, deer and moose can easily take us, birds fly away from us. We can't do shit unless we have some kind of tools, which just goes to show the only thing we have is actually our intelligence.

Really anything you can think of as an advantage for us isn't really that good when you compare it to even the worst animals in nature. We can't do anything. We suck dick as a species in an evolutionary viewpoint.

Also the reason I thought of this is butt cheeks - no other animals have them except us, know why? Poo gets trapped between them breeds viruses and bacteria and shit and ends up bad for us. Yet another thing we can't do right.

I am really really curious as to how we survived when we didn't have guns and buildings and shit.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

So what you're saying is that human's are no good at anything if you take away our greatest advantage?

That's like taking away the teeth and claws of a wolf.
That 18 year old human will thrive if he knows what he's doing. He'd make tools and clothes.


edit: I suspect early humans survived like any other ape, but as we built up the capacity for knowledge, we then turned it to our advantage to make all the things we have now.
I think you also need to consider our other abilities in the context of the whole package. We might not have the best eyesight, but then birds can't do much apart from fly and see things far away. Dogs have great smell, but they don't have hands and they can't see well.

 

[jverne]

Humans suck, but not for the reasons you presented.

Modern humans lived and prospered for almost 10000 years. It's now that we're going to **** ourselves up.

 

[Tacoeaterguy]

It's not always physical ability that lets a species flourish, sometimes they need to use intelligence. Just look at monkeys. They are pretty smart animals, (in certain cases) and instead of hunting they eat bugs and fruit. My question is, as our species evolved, what determined that we would be smarter than the original humans? I suppose we adapted to our environment better or something. I think another factor to our survival is that we travel in populated groups. Sure, if you put one human down on earth and have it survive, it would be rough. With other humans around, resources are easier to gather, and it provides protection. Humans are coolio.

 

[Dog--]

I'm not talking about economy or global warming or anything, I'm talking about evolution. Like everything about us isn't suited to helping anything.

 

[barbarbarbarbar]

I swear to god , If I wasn't this tired I would have had such a great argument.

 

[Tacoeaterguy]

I swear to god , If I wasn't this tired I would have had such a great argument.

Just drink some coffee, which humans discovered. See, we can do anything.

 

[jverne]

I'm not talking about economy or global warming or anything, I'm talking about evolution. Like everything about us isn't suited to helping anything.

On the contrary, we evolved precisely for being multifunctional.

 

[Dog--]

On the contrary, we evolved precisely for being multifunctional.

Jack of all trades is master of none, it just seems like we should've evolved to being stronger or faster as that would've helped us out alot more.

 

[YROC]

Speak for yourself. I kick ass in the wilderness. O:<

 

[barbarbarbarbar]

Just drink some coffee, which humans discovered. See, we can do anything.

A Red Bull perhaps.

 

[MuToiD_MaN]

We haven't evolved much in the past 10,000 years because we haven't needed to. Not that that's a huge amount of time on the evolutionary scale, I know, but look how we're communicating right now. Imagine if rabbits, birds, wolves, or moose had a way to instantly communicate their thoughts instantly to any other of their respective species across the world. You'd trip the **** out and call them your new overlords.

We *are* the "overlords" of this planet for a reason. That's because we've been intelligent enough for thousands of years to invent the tools we used to conquer the world. Whether we're intelligent enough to avoid destroying it now is another matter.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

I swear to god , If I wasn't this tired I would have had such a great argument.

This made me laugh.

 

[Bob_Marley]

We survived because we had tools. Thats a humans big advantage. You can break a branch off a tree then use it to smack an animal upside the head then eat it. Or you don't even have to do that - eat plants. After all, we were hunter-gatherers. By improving our tools and techniques we've largely lost our basic survival skills, but we don;t need them at the current time and if required they can be learnt. To this day people still survive with basic tools in inhospitable conditions - such as the native tribes in the Amazon.

Sure, a rabbit can out run a man but lets see him out run an arrow. A wolf can beat an unarmed man easily, but can he do it nearly so well when our man has a spear?

The other thing not to underestimate is our predisposition for teamwork - much like many other sucessful creatures humans work best as part of a team, allowing us to divide jobs and specialize in different areas.

 

[StarBob]

We survived because we had tools. Thats a humans big advantage. You can break a branch off a tree then use it to smack an animal upside the head then eat it. Or you don't even have to do that - eat plants. After all, we were hunter-gatherers. By improving our tools and techniques we've largely lost our basic survival skills, but we don;t need them at the current time and if required they can be learnt. To this day people still survive with basic tools in inhospitable conditions - such as the native tribes in the Amazon.

Sure, a rabbit can out run a man but lets see him out run an arrow. A wolf can beat an unarmed man easily, but can he do it nearly so well when our man has a spear?

The other thing not to underestimate is our predisposition for teamwork - much like many other sucessful creatures humans work best as part of a team, allowing us to divide jobs and specialize in different areas.

Mostly this.

The evolution of humans has been long and no doubt had plenty of branches that ended in failure. The first offshoot of humans was the upright walker. He was the one that could spot incoming predators and distant food sources from further away over territory. With this evolutionary advantage of prey avoidance and the ability to find food sources more easily, it gave them a survival advantage over other species that relegated themselves to trees and underground for safety.

With longer lifespans our brains gained more time to develop throughout life and things were learned such as the use of tools. These tools made it possible to more effective hunt and gather and survive in less hospitable climates than humans were originally capable.

Ultimately our community structure grew with communication through language and coordination of growing intelligence making hunting more effective and started the move from survival to prosperity. Youth could spend more time developing intelligence and life skills instead of survival skills. The hunter-gatherer societies learned to cultivate crops and maintain local game to keep small groups stationary and stable to further advance learning and development.

Basically that brings us to modern humans, all that is left in terms of evolution is a little bit of brain growth and body type change.

 

[Dog--]

The evolution of humans has been long and no doubt had plenty of branches that ended in failure. The first offshoot of humans was the upright walker. He was the one that could spot incoming predators and distant food sources from further away over territory. With this evolutionary advantage of prey avoidance and the ability to find food sources more easily, it gave them a survival advantage over other species that relegated themselves to trees and underground for safety.

Well modern monkeys walk on all fours and they stand when they want, same with bears. I'm sure using 4 legs tires you out less too, so you can migrate further.

 

[elkaebee]

http://discovermagazine.com/2006/may/tramps-like-us


Humans will run you down boy. They will run you the **** down.

 

[Dan]

I've been thinking (and by 'been thinking' I mean the thought popped into my head ten minutes ago), humans are like the worst possible animals..

How did we ever survive?

Besides our 'intelligence' we've got nothing. We can't run fast, we aren't strong, we can't hear that well, our noses suck and can't smell anything, we can't see that well (how many people you know have glasses? That makes shitty eyesight that much worse for our case). And it's not just that, but think about for example a litter of puppies from a wolf or something. They are born into a litter of like 4-5, and in like 15 weeks they can fend for themselves. Now think of a human baby. Born one by one, with the high possibility to kill the mother while being born (infections and what not), and even then the kid can't even BEGIN to fend for themselves until they are like 5 YEARS old.

Put a naked human in his prime (so like 18 year old) out in the wild and tell him to catch some food. He will either freeze to death, or starve to death. Rabbits outrun us, deer and moose can easily take us, birds fly away from us. We can't do shit unless we have some kind of tools, which just goes to show the only thing we have is actually our intelligence.

Really anything you can think of as an advantage for us isn't really that good when you compare it to even the worst animals in nature. We can't do anything. We suck dick as a species in an evolutionary viewpoint.

Also the reason I thought of this is butt cheeks - no other animals have them except us, know why? Poo gets trapped between them breeds viruses and bacteria and shit and ends up bad for us. Yet another thing we can't do right.

I am really really curious as to how we survived when we didn't have guns and buildings and shit.

Speak for yourself. Humans are stronger than most other animals. The only ones that come to mind which are stronger are the really large (elephants, bison, moose) and some apes. A wolf the same weight as a human would lose an arm wrestling contest.

Humans are not fast, but we have higher endurance that almost any other animal. You can't outrun a deer, but you can run it down to exhaustion.

Also, 15 week old puppies aren't fending for themselves. They die without mama.

In short, your post sucks.

 

[Dog--]

Speak for yourself. Humans are stronger than most other animals. The only ones that come to mind which are stronger are the really large (elephants, bison, moose) and some apes. A wolf the same weight as a human would lose an arm wrestling contest.

Humans are not fast, but we have higher endurance that almost any other animal. You can't outrun a deer, but you can run it down to exhaustion.

Also, 15 week old puppies aren't fending for themselves. They die without mama.

In short, your post sucks.

Just because a wolf isn't strong in the arms doesn't mean anything, it doesn't use it's arms the same way humans do, our arms are our main muscles, we use them for everything, a wolf uses it's jaws and hind legs.

And I also highly doubt you can run a deer to exhaustion, unless you're a marathon runner, even then I doubt you could.

And I didn't say that 15 weeks old puppies do fend for themselves I said they could, a 15 week old baby couldn't do shit, it can't even crawl yet for **** sakes.

In short, YOUR post sucks harder.

 

[Danimal]

ITT: Dog-- thinks the same way I did when I was 13 and listening to Slipknot.

 

[elkaebee]

Just because a wolf isn't strong in the arms doesn't mean anything, it doesn't use it's arms the same way humans do, our arms are our main muscles, we use them for everything, a wolf uses it's jaws and hind legs.
.

Unless you walk around purely on your hands, I think you're wrong.

Remeber these things:

Run a marathon using only your arms and I'll agree with you.

 

[Wanted Bob]

We also have opposable thumbs. Most of the effectiveness of those that I can think of is in relation to intelligence, but I'm sure it gives us some sort of advantage in the wild.

 

[jverne]

The jack of all trade gave you computers so don't be too quick about judging it.

Humans can lift up to 100kg or make fine watches.


Seriously, the very fact we dominated every species is a clear reminder of our "superiority".

I still think humans suck but not from an evolutionary point of view.

 

[Bob_Marley]

Well modern monkeys walk on all fours and they stand when they want, same with bears. I'm sure using 4 legs tires you out less too, so you can migrate further.

Standing on two legs and having thumbs lets you carry a spear so you can stab the monkey to death, eat his flesh, wear his skin for a hat and make his bones into more spear tips.

 

[Dan]

Just because a wolf isn't strong in the arms doesn't mean anything, it doesn't use it's arms the same way humans do, our arms are our main muscles, we use them for everything, a wolf uses it's jaws and hind legs.

And I also highly doubt you can run a deer to exhaustion, unless you're a marathon runner, even then I doubt you could.

And I didn't say that 15 weeks old puppies do fend for themselves I said they could, a 15 week old baby couldn't do shit, it can't even crawl yet for **** sakes.

In short, YOUR post sucks harder.

So in what way is a wolf stronger than a human? If you were to wrestle with a wolf, you could overpower it like a baby. If you were to have a weight lifting contest, you would crush it. If you measured any kind of pushing, or leveraging, or other strength measurements you can think of, a human is stronger than a wolf.

 

[VirusType2]

Well modern monkeys walk on all fours and they stand when they want, same with bears. I'm sure using 4 legs tires you out less too, so you can migrate further.

Actually, I've read that humans are the best of all creatures on Earth for long distance ground travel. The most endurance. Where do you think they got the name 'marathon' anyway.

the messenger who ran from Athens to Sparta asking for help, and then ran back, a distance of over 240 kilometres (150 mi) each way

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marathon#History

Also, you greatly underestimate the cunning and intelligence of humans compared to other predators. Easy to outsmart a fox. Just set a trap/bait/ambush.

 

[Dog--]

Actually, I've read that humans are the best of all creatures on Earth for long distance ground travel. The most endurance. Where do you think they got the name 'marathon' anyway.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marathon#History

Also, you greatly underestimate the cunning and intelligence of humans compared to other predators. Easy to outsmart a fox. Just set a trap/bait/ambush.

I've set traps before in my barn, killed lots of mice, usually had to reset a trap a day because it killed one a day. Then one day I didn't find any dead mice, I didn't find any for like a month. I checked all the traps, and they weren't set off, but the food was gone. I'd reset them every day and the food was gone. The mice learned how to get the food without setting off the trap. You act like humans are the only ones who can learn, any animal can learn..

Also just because that one human ran that far doesn't mean anything, there will always be the few greats, but on average people cannot run that far.

 

[Dan]

http://discovermagazine.com/2006/may/tramps-like-us


Humans will run you down boy. They will run you the **** down.

Did you bother to read this article Dog? It says the opposite of what you say.

 

[VirusType2]

I've set traps before in my barn, killed lots of mice, usually had to reset a trap a day because it killed one a day. Then one day I didn't find any dead mice, I didn't find any for like a month. I checked all the traps, and they weren't set off, but the food was gone. I'd reset them every day and the food was gone. The mice learned how to get the food without setting off the trap. You act like humans are the only ones who can learn, any animal can learn..

I never said animals are dumb. I said "you are underestimating the cunning and intelligence of humans."

Just because a mouse defeated your trap doesn't mean shit except that you need to build a better mousetrap.

Also just because that one human ran that far doesn't mean anything, there will always be the few greats, but on average people cannot run that far.

So, if nothing else on earth can beat us in endurance we don't need to be any more efficient. A cheetah might be able to run 70-75 miles per hour, but only for a minute or two.

And running isn't required for long distance travel. We aren't ****ing superheros, bitch.


You are going to honestly tell me that human intelligence isn't that important, I mean, we only invented the Hydrogen bomb. What the **** chance has a mouse against that? He's going to nibble your toes!! He doesn't provide much of a meal anyway, and neither does a rabbit, thus they aren't prime targets for us anyway. Say hello to the cow - a fearsome creature!

 

[DEATHMASTER]

I am really really curious as to how we survived when we didn't have guns and buildings and shit.

Tools

 

[Baal]

I don't know why some are saying a human can't take out a wolf without a weapon. Just because the average human today can't, doesn't mean the average human couldn't thousands of years ago.

Our natural need to care for our young is a major asset as well. It ensured perpetuation of our species and allowed us to grow, such that numbers alone helped dominate everything else on this planet. Some animals out there don't give a shit about their offspring.

 

[VirusType2]

Did you bother to read this article Dog? It says the opposite of what you say.

(In one legendary experiment, Harvard biologists stuck a rectal thermometer into a cheetah, put the cat on a treadmill, and found that it refused to move once its temperature hit 105 degrees Fahrenheit, even though it was loping well below its top speed.) Controlling body temperature, Carrier once wrote, "is critical for animals that run for extended periods." Given that humans excel at releasing heat and distance running, he speculated that we were built to run far and wide.

Humans have sweat glands and lack of fur, cheetah. Ha! Got ya.

/eats cheetah.

 

[Maestro]

So Dog--, here's my rebuttle:

You can't catch the deer, but this can.

You know what I need to make it? A piece of flint, a long stick, and some twine. Add an atlatl and it's even more effective.

Ever heard of an Apex Predator? Humans are above all of them. We eat crocodiles, sharks, and lions for delicacies.

Stop arguing humans are physically inferior, strength and speed are irrelevant when all that's needed is to outsmart the animal. That's easy.

 

[Danimal]

Dog--lol

 

[Dog--]

If dragons existed we'd be ****ed.

 

[Danimal]

If dragons existed, Saturos probably wouldn't have such swollen balls.

 

[MJ12]

Dur, fish suck cuz if dey didnt have gills or fins dey couldn't run or nothin'

 

[Letters]

Dog, I would like to introduce to a fascinating creature.

Brace yourself...

Spoiler

 

[Dog--]

Dog, I would like to introduce to a fascinating creature.

Brace yourself...

Spoiler

But their butt cheeks don't squish their butthole like ours do, look there's like a little space around it.

 

[sinkoman]

How many other animals are capable of becoming whatever the **** they want?

There are human beings that have sculpted their bodies to pure muscular perfection, and can loft hundreds of pounds of concrete straight to the sky on a whim, while others can barely lift a pencil with their thigh muscles yet create the most complex and beautiful programming algoritms evrar.

I mean, a dog is pretty much a dog, a cat is pretty much a cat, a bear is pretty much a bear, etc etc. But a human is just oh so much more than just a human...