I got hit by some dumb bitch in an escalade and all I have to show for it is a

Tollbooth Willie

The Freeman
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,556
Reaction score
830
shard of glass in my hand which will probably be stuck in my dick as well once I jack my cock. Share your stories of vehicular carnage.
 
Your mother f*cking ran into me as I pulled out of a parking lot. Gunned the f*Cking throttlefrgdfvcbgnhv m
 
Vehicle size is inversely proportional to responsible driving, I'm finding. When I see a dumb bitch in an Escalade (or the equivalent - you can always tell by the "my brat is an honor student at ____" or "I <3 my Golden Retriever" stickers) I either stay well back or try to pass as quickly as possible.

Oddly enough, the only 'accident' I've ever been in involved a stoner in what I think was some sort of Honda, and he just bumped into me from behind at a stop light. Didn't end up calling the police or anything because he was extremely nice about it and pulled over to make sure I was okay, and the only damage to my car was a scrape on the back bumper (my car is like 8 years old, so I could barely even pick out which scrape was his fault) and a wet spot on the driver's seat where my Coke spilled.

Had a couple near misses, though. Damn ghetto punks around Cleveland's East side like to play chicken turning into oncoming traffic.
 
Hope that lady has insurance that will give you money.

I've been in a couple of accidents, but not while driving, although I don't actually drive much in the first place. Some lady hit the back of the car when my mom was driving. Got a few days of whiplash from that one. And some guy in a truck, probably drunk, purposefully sped up and plowed into our car from behind while my sister was driving. Car totaled, his truck was also pretty messed up (but he still got away).

And a couple of weeks ago, my aunt was sitting on the passenger side and some dude ran a red light and hit her side. I heard that her leg was completely bruised up, she couldn't move any muscles in her right shoulder, and swallowed some glass. Also the guy had crappy insurance.
 
I got hit on my bike once got right back up and the gy asked if I was OK and then we went our separate ways.
 
So who's paying for the damages, Willie?

I also got hit by some dumb bitch when moving out of a parking space. There was the place with shopping carts kind of obstructing my view to the right, but I took a glance that way, then while backing out looked left and when I looked right again there was this Volvo right on me, so I slammed the brakes. Half a second later the car hit me, denting my bumper and smashing the back light (which I glued together fine, it's plastic after all) with its front light which of course cracked as well. The idiot woman was like "I don't know why I didn't brake...". Well I don't know either, why you didn't break, slow down or swerve, you bitch -.- (I didn't say that). I knew however that the law was on her side, because she technically had the right of way, so my next insurance fee was higher after it paid for the damages :|
 
The only time I've ever been actually impacted by another vehicle is when a really, really old man was trying to navigate the bottom floor of a parking garage. I was behind him, and he pulled up to a stop sign, stopped, waited for like 45 seconds trying to figure out which way to turn, put his car in reverse, and as I laid down on my horn for probably 5 long seconds he slowly backed up and hit my car. Then he put his car in drive, rolled back up to the stop sign, waited again, and slooooooowly turned right. I went left (to the exit he was trying to find lol) and got away from that old ass dude. The slow speed did absolutely nothing to my bumper so whatever.

But more dangerous than that was when some asshole in an enormous black pickup truck ran me off the highway because he merged into the right lane which I was traveling in. He basically shoved me off into the dirt on the side, and it was right before a really harsh turn exit, so I practically vaulted off the dirt, back onto the pavement of the exit ramp, and had to hit my brakes on and off (no anti-lock brakes, I'm really surprised that I remembered that fact while fearing for my life) while taking the 20mph curving exit at like 60mph. Lots of tire squealing and burning rubber smell later I was successfully stopped in a breakdown lane on a regular road, with a wet spot on the driver's seat where my Coke spilled.

If I didn't manage to make that turn I'd probably be dead. If my brakes had locked up, or I had spun out from turning the steering wheel too much, I probably would have skidded off the exit ramp, down the hill the other side, and smashed into the large trees at 40+ miles an hour.
 
I got in an accident once, the only damage was a wet spot on my seat where my Coke spilled
 
Damn, that could've turned ugly krynn, what an asshole, I hope he lost his license. nice reflexes :)

The only time i have been in an accident I was on my way to school. Riding my bike since I don't have a license, I was hit by a car coming from the left, when I was crossing a road. The dude was probably in a hurry I guess. It was really weird, I kind of bounced of and rolled away, somehow managing not to hit my head on the asphalt. Then I just stood up, and didn't really understand what had happened. Luckily there were no other cars on the road.

So I was fine, my leg hurt a little, but not bad. My coke was spilled leaving a wet spot on my seat, But my damn bike was totalled, it was bent out of shape. I didnt notice that until i had picked it up, talked to the man who hit me, first then i looked down and saw how messed up it was. The dude who hit me was nice though, offered me a ride to school, asked about insurance and stuff. I didn't take the ride, I took my bike, parked it, locked it (for some reason, it wasnt usable anyway.) I then called my friend and said i was going to be late for physics-class :)
 
I was kind of a witness to brake checking gone horribly wrong. by which I mean I was involved

car I was in hit the brakes on a tailgaiter, the tailgaiter lost control of his car, jumped the medium, went into uncoming traffic, narrowly missed a car hopped the curb and slammed into the protective barrier of the bridge he nearly went over. the driver/passengers looked like they were ok however the guy's car was totalled; his front axel was a dozen or so feet from his car. his back axel was on a angle; his car (BMW of some sort) was literally sitting on it's undercarriage
 
GET THE SHARD OUT OF YOUR HAND CHASIE, I can't see what you are writing :(
 
The only thing I don't understand is why you didn't kill the f*cking whore.

Chase what's happening to you???????
 
The only thing I don't understand is why you didn't kill the f*cking whore.

Chase what's happening to you???????

What? How do you think that shard of glass got embedded in his hand? It wasn't from when he got hit, it was from when he smashed through the windshield so he could do those horrible, horrible things to her. I hear that after he was done with her, the only evidence of her existence was a wet spot on her seat where her Coke spilled.
 
I almost got in an accident once, some **** hat almost pulled into my front end and I slammed the brakes, laid into the horn, and the asshat looks around like he doesn't know what he just did. I didn't spill my coke, not even close. I just kind of auto-slammed the breaks. My mom almost spilled hers, though.

But srsly I'm 17 and any accident means 'bye-bye' license when the insurance skyrockets. I told my parents to buy a beater and put liability insurance on it, but nooooooo. They insist on paying $1200/year.
 
LOL, is the "spilled my coke" phrase code for something? :p
 
No, brah. My mom was totally drinking a coke.
 
I was kind of a witness to brake checking gone horribly wrong. by which I mean I was involved

car I was in hit the brakes on a tailgaiter, the tailgaiter lost control of his car, jumped the medium, went into uncoming traffic, narrowly missed a car hopped the curb and slammed into the protective barrier of the bridge he nearly went over. the driver/passengers looked like they were ok however the guy's car was totalled; his front axel was a dozen or so feet from his car. his back axel was on a angle; his car (BMW of some sort) was literally sitting on it's undercarriage

People driving too close suck. The highways here during the day are nuts. I guess it really can't be helped since the highways system simply can't handle the traffic, but its impossible to follow a safe distance. Someone will always use the gap to try and pass someone they don't want to be behind. You have to travel at 70mph with like 10 feet of space between you and the next car. Today there was a three car accident where one person slammed into a volvo station wagon hard enough to actually vault the volvo on top of their own car, then someone behind him smashed into the back of his car and shoved him even further under the volvo. The volvo barely had its front wheels on the ground, with the entire rest of it up in the air propped up by the bar that hit it. Shits ****ed up. Spilled coke was the least of their problems I'm sure.
 
Back
Top