I just got outed.

[Geogaddi]

I was riding in the car with my mom a few minutes ago.

"Do you want to start going to church again?"

"No thanks"

"Why not?"

"Because I read the Bible and it's full of inconsistencies"

"The Bible???"

"Yes, the Bible."

"Funny you should say that, because I talked to this guy today, and he's been to Israel and stuff and written some books about how the Bible is inconsistent. It's neat, I'll show it to you later."

"Okay."

"BUT he believes strongly in God!"

"Hmmpf"

"You do believe in God though, right?"

"No"

"*COMPLETE AND UTTER SHOCK*"
"Wha?? When did this happen?"

"A while back"

"Why?"

"There is no evidence for the existence of a god"

"*Continues being shocked and assuring me that she's not angry*"
(Trust me, she could not have been more shocked if shot up heroine right there.)

"But what if something happens to you tonight and you don't believe in God?"

"I don't know???"
"It's not like believing is a magic ticket to heaven."

"*IMAGINE THE MOST SHOCKED FACE YOU CAN*"
"Don't tell your grandmother. She'll freak out."




Sigh. My mom isn't the type to question what she's been taught. It's going to be tough consoling her without destroying a fragile system of nonthinking 40+ years in the making.

I'd appreciate serious advice.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Oh god. Not another one.
Don't tell your grandmother?

 

[Dog--]

Tell her you were on drugs, and accidentally said that, you don't mean it, it was a drug trip. (the worse drugs the better results)

 

[Hectic Glenn]

In this circumstance, it's difficult to tell the people around you that you love something about you which can upset them greatly. You could lie, but then you're not being true to yourself. So I would do as you did, told her your own mind.

I'd comfort her afterwards with the following short story. I'd say just because I don't believe in God's existence it does not mean I'm not a good person. I will still live my life with all the morals and respect I've learnt through my life, I'm no different to before. You need not worry about me and 'what might happen to me' because even if I don't believe it doesn't make me a bad person. There are millions of people in the world oblivious to Christianity and it's existence. Inuits and Tribes for example, will these people be punished for not believing in God? I hope you can respect my decision, as I respect the way you live your life, this being something important this faith has taught me.

You could be alot more blunt than that, but tact is always good for family especially. It's the art of getting your point across without making enemies. Life skill!

 

[<RJMC>]

she will tied up you on your bed while sleeping and will bring priests to exorcize you

you: mom what is this?
yo moma: is ok babe,eveything is going to be fine,are you sure of this phater?
priest: oh yes it has been hapening lately,whit those videoclips and cellphones and internets,devil know no boundaries
you: whats going on?
priest:dont worry son you will be freed in a few minutes,the demon you have inside wont be out by just the word of god,so I have to put this trough your rectum*pulls out medieval cigar shaped mechanisn that expands at will*
priest: god be whit you
you:AAAAAAHHH!

 

[TechnoHippyChic]

Good advice HG.

If that isn't enough, have her sign up here. We can help deprogram her.

 

[Geogaddi]

Thanks Glenn.

I just called her and gave her a less eloquent version of what Glenn said. She seems okay with it but kept hinting that maybe I should give it further thought. I had to quell that by telling her I spent the better part of a year reading arguments from both sides and I still read books on the subject fairly regularly. I also avoided the A-word by saying that I'm taking the neutral position of not holding any belief related to the supernatural until evidence presents itself.

Overall she seems to be a little unsure but happy that I'm making my own decisions.

I'll keep you guys updated.

I don't plan on telling my grandma.

 

[Qonfused]

I'm in the same position. My mom totally believes that I'm a Christian. Every time she's talking with her religious buddies, she always has to mention: "Oh, this is my son, Travis, born again Christian since age 12." I just kind of smile and walk away. I've gotten into some arguments, more discussions rather, about religion and the Bible within which I kind of hint that I believe the Bible is just a story book, nothing else. The stories within are good guidelines to live by but nothing more. I think it's time for a mini "coming out."

 

[Dog--]

My parents never even talk about that stuff. I doubt they'd care too much, though. They are the kind of parents that let me think whatever I want, with no questions asked. But even so, they are (weak) Anglican, so.. eh..

 

[DeusExMachina]

Just don't tell your grandma. I sure as hell ain't ever gonna tell mine.

 

[Krynn72]

(Trust me, she could not have been more shocked if shot up heroine right there.)

There is your advice right there. Shoot up some heroine right in front of her, and she'll forget this whole god thing lickity split.


On a serious note, though, my advice is dont tell your grandma. If your mother was that shocked, I can only imagine what her mother would be like, considering shes had another 30ish years of nonthinking.

As for your mom... well its gunna be a tough ride for awhile. Nothing can change that. Just stick to what you believe in, and dont betray yourself. I am sure you can handle it.

 

[mastag]

I really have no idea what i believe in, tbh. My mom is pretty open minded so she's not gonna make me choose a religion. But when i'm with my grandparents they make me go to church. presbyterian.

 

[Acepilotf14]

By 7-31-07, this thread will be 3 pages long. Maybe longer.
I have made my mark.
\i/
\-/
@<3

 

[Que-Ever]

Thanks Glenn.

I just called her and gave her a less eloquent version of what Glenn said. She seems okay with it but kept hinting that maybe I should give it further thought. I had to quell that by telling her I spent the better part of a year reading arguments from both sides and I still read books on the subject fairly regularly. I also avoided the A-word by saying that I'm taking the neutral position of not holding any belief related to the supernatural until evidence presents itself.

Overall she seems to be a little unsure but happy that I'm making my own decisions.
I'll keep you guys updated.

I don't plan on telling my grandma.

She's happy you're making your own decisions? My parents rarely let me make my own decisions. Almost everything, I have to do what they tell me. Otherwise, I'd be in big trouble. I'm not sure what they would do, but there you go.

 

[Adabiviak]

How old are you? As in, are you looking at living at home with her for a few years yet, or are you out on your own? It might be worth staying in the closet for a while just to avoid making waves. If she's regulating and asking you to go to church, that'll be rough.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

My parents were a little shocked at first but within a day we were all fine again when I told them. That was when I was 13, though I had been an atheist when I was 12.

 

[Krynn72]

I havent told my parents. I dont think they would care anyways. The few times we ever talked about it they said "I believe in god and heaven, but not any of the rules the churches made up." and basically said that as long as you're a good person you'll go to heaven.

But that was probably like 8 years ago or something, and I dont think its ever been brought up again. Although my grandparents are Catholic, and go to church every week, so I dont know what they would think about it though. I cant imagine them getting angry though, they're insanely nice people and seem to be very accepting.

Heres to hoping I never get asked!

 

[Jintor]

My parents are in some sort of spiritual weird zone, so they didn't really mind.

 

[Fliko]

I'm in the same position. My mom totally believes that I'm a Christian. Every time she's talking with her religious buddies, she always has to mention: "Oh, this is my son, Travis, born again Christian since age 12." I just kind of smile and walk away. I've gotten into some arguments, more discussions rather, about religion and the Bible within which I kind of hint that I believe the Bible is just a story book, nothing else. The stories within are good guidelines to live by but nothing more. I think it's time for a mini "coming out."

Haha, same here, hell, EVEN THE SAME NAME!! CONSPIRACY?

My Mom was pretty shocked when I said I'm atheist, and she trys guilt tripping me "So your saying your Stepdad is in hell right now?"
****, that makes me want to slap the shit out of her

 

[Dog--]

Why not just say "No, he can't be in hell, I don't believe in hell, he is in the ground."

*No disrespect, but if your an atheist, it's what you believe*

That would make her speechless.

 

[Llama]

Ahh, the joys of atheist parents.

Don't tell your grandma, sounds like the shock would kill her (perhaps literally)

 

[mindless_moder]

that really doesn't sound too bad , it actually sounds like she somewhat understands where your coming from . If i came out of the closet i would probably be subjected to a great deal of religous babble, not quite sure if they would go as far as to kick me out or anything but it would definitely result in a heated argument.

 

[Jintor]

I'm actually more surprised when people I've known for a while are revealed to be intense Christians or whatever. It never shows in most other ways!

 

[mindless_moder]

they probably weren't that INTENSE or you have a differing idea of what intense is people can go to church on a regular basis and still not be all too religious its more of an obligation than an actual commitment , I've hung around with a lot of fundamentalist Christians and you can pretty much tell that theres something wrong very early on.

 

[Krynn72]

When I was watching Borat I started laughing and saying how stupid the "Spiritual healing" thing was, and my friend told me he believed in that. He also said that he thinks there is "nothing wrong" with anything in the Jesus camp movie, and also said that Atheists should be the most hated group in America when I brought up the fact.

I dont really hang out with him that much anymore.


Also, lol at Fliko's mom thinking him thinking his step dad was in hell. Another bit of evidence on how naive religious people can be. What did you say to that?

 

[Jintor]

they probably weren't that INTENSE or you have a differing idea of what intense is people can go to church on a regular basis and still not be all too religious its more of an obligation than an actual commitment , I've hung around with a lot of fundamentalist Christians and you can pretty much tell that theres something wrong very early on.

Mmm, I guess you got a point. I've never really run into really, really fundamentalist Christians.

 

[Remus]

I havent told my parents. I dont think they would care anyways. The few times we ever talked about it they said "I believe in god and heaven, but not any of the rules the churches made up." and basically said that as long as you're a good person you'll go to heaven.

Well I've been an agnostic since I was 14, but the subject hasn't come up too often. Now I'm leaning more towards atheism and I've told my parents this about a year ago. They are very open minded and are similar to what you described Krynn. My mom for one thinks christian rules are made up by the church, she does believe there is some sort of supreme being watching over us however she doesn't believe in an afterlife (so no heaven or hell). So their reaction to me saying "I'm an atheist" was pretty much "Umm... OK"

Everything's good here

 

[co05]

I go to a Christian school and when some people start giving their testimonies about their Christian life and what not I always say to myself "Really? You're a Christian, eh? Sure doesn't seem like it by the way you act."

I've always thought some people use Christianity as an excuse to save them from the horrible shit they do. "Oh no, but I repented so I'm alright now."

 

[Shift]

Well my family aint christian to be honest, never ever talk about it, so my parents couldn't care less what I beleive in. I know dad has a fond interest in ghosts and the afterlife and stuff like as he has books on them, but he is in to all the science fiction kinda books.

I remember round a mates house though, home to a very christain family, were talking about aspects of the Bible to which I laughed, and was asked what I believed in. So I told them:

"I have complicated beliefs (thanks to the previous large religion debate on politics side of the forum with many atheists crippling my previous beleifs), I now certainly do not beleive in the church, preists of any kind, the Bible and the Pope, because as far as I am concerned, those aspects could teach about the fundamentals of Christianity better than a elephant. I do however believe in at least something happening after death, and I do believe in God to an extent, as do I also believe in the Big Bang, Evolution etc etc, thanks to my other more logical side of my mind. I think Dieism is the term."

I was greeted with a 'wtf just happened sort of look' from everyone in the room except my pal he sat there nodding.

 

[Jintor]

Well my family aint christian to be honest, never ever talk about it, so my parents couldn't care less what I beleive in. I know dad has a fond interest in ghosts and the afterlife and stuff like as he has books on them, but he is in to all the science fiction kinda books.

I remember round a mates house though, home to a very christain family, were talking about aspects of the Bible to which I laughed, and was asked what I believed in. So I told them:

"I have complicated beliefs (thanks to the previous large religion debate on politics side of the forum with many atheists crippling my previous beleifs), I now certainly do not beleive in the church, preists of any kind, the Bible and the Pope, because as far as I am concerned, those aspects could teach about the fundamentals of Christianity better than a elephant. I do however believe in at least something happening after death, and I do believe in God to an extent, as do I also believe in the Big Bang, Evolution etc etc, thanks to my other more logical side of my mind. I think Dieism is the term for my beleif."

I was greeted with a 'wtf just happened sort of look' from everyone in the room except my pal he sat there nodding.

Did they then edge away from you and congregate in small grounds, muttering under their breaths and shooting looks at you when they thought you weren't looking?

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

^ "Damn that shift, being more rational!"

 

[Sam]

Me and my dad sometimes talk about how silly religions are.

Do I win?

 

[mortiz]

When I told my parents that I was an atheist they were like "meh, we don't really believe in that stuff either", I think my mom's utter hatred for being brought up in the Catholic church did that.

 

[JNightshade]

My mom's side of the family is pretty religious. Shit, my grandma almost refused to go to one of her own daughters' weddings because she was marrying a muslim! D: (thankfully, her brother, who was a priest, intervened and told her to gtf in there )

my dad's side of the family spends its holiday reunions making up the most blasphemous jokes possible and trying to figure out how to f*ck with people. My uncle has this really religious neighbor, so we were talking about putting on devil masks and painting pentagrams in the sand of a nearby beach.

I think it's obvious which side I take after

 

[Fliko]

Why not just say "No, he can't be in hell, I don't believe in hell, he is in the ground."

*No disrespect, but if your an atheist, it's what you believe*

That would make her speechless.

Actually, I'll try that next time she tries doing that.
No disrespect taken either

 

[Absinthe]

Could have been a lot worse, Geo. I think she handled it pretty well, when all is considered.

Might not be the kind of thing you'd want to bring up at the dinner table. But you shouldn't shy away from it. If she wants to talk about it, do what Glenn said. Explain that you are fully capable of being a good person living a good life without God.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Don't tell grandma, old people are impossible unless they're athletic, some reason the athletic ones always think and use reason.

 

[ComradeBadger]

I find it really strange how many families are religious these days - I don't think I know a single relative of mine who attends Church..

I wonder if that's the difference between UK & US perhaps..

 

[Acepilotf14]

Crap, this thread grew faster than I thought. Now, I'd say about 5 pages on the 31st.

 

[JNightshade]

I find it really strange how many families are religious these days - I don't think I know a single relative of mine who attends Church..

I wonder if that's the difference between UK & US perhaps..

Yeah, I'm really quite sure of it. Over here, it's almost a prerequisite to spend an hour staring at your feet in church every Sunday. Everyone's forgotten that it's possible to live a positive life without wasting time and energy on an invisible being :/