"If You Could Talk Back"

Headcrab Pie

Headcrab Pie

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Now first of all, I did not come up with this great Idea. Somone else did, not me. But it was quite succesful and had many pages.
All in all if you could talk back to the HL-HL2-HL2E1 people(as Gordon,not you yourself), what would you say?

Some of the ones I remember:

Posted By Shift
Alyx:Thats the old passage to Ravenholm, we don't go there anymore.
Gordon/You:Why? Why? Hey, don't just say some gloomy speech and not tell me why! Why,b**ch! Bad secnery? Landlord an arse? WHY!!!
 
Eli: You found Gordon? IMPOSSIBLE!
Gordon: WHYWHYWHYWHY?! Why is it impossible?
 
I remember Unreal 2 where you could do that.

The responses always sucked balls.
 
(In the beginning, the whole teleporter crap)
Dr. Breen: What? How did you get in here?! SECURITY!
Gordon: I AM THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS' PAST!
 
Barney: (breathing heavy) I finally got you that beer I owe you
Gordan: thats nice barney but I don't drink
 
Headcrab Pie said:
Some of the ones I remember:

Posted By "?????" Unknown
Alyx:Thats the old passage to Ravenholm, we don't go there anymore.
Gordon/You:Why? Why? Hey, don't just say some gloomy speech and not tell me why! Why,b**ch! Bad secnery? Landlord an arse? WHY!!!
Click to expand...

That was mine :D
 
EP1:

Alyx: Is Dr. Kleiner really telling us to get busy?
Me: Yeah b*tch, lets get it on!

EP2 Trailer:

Alyx: Gordon, help!
Gordon: *snicker* *runs away*

HL2:

BME Half way threw Judith's "speech"

Gordon: SHUT UP YOUR MOUTH.
 
thinking about a comeback when ep1 alyx tells you to "crank that thing"
 
Alyx: "Let me do the talking, Gordon. We might need her to get out of here."

Gordon: "Everybody's a comedian."
 
Alyx: "Man of few words arent you?"

Gordon: "Actually, contrary to popular belief, I am not actually that reserved of a person, but I have been trapped in a series of incredibly unorthodox events. In fact, to me, what seems like mear days ago I was in the test chamber of Black Mesa where a god damn resonance cascade turned my whole world upside down, I was forced to traverse the complex maze of Black Mesa, getting assaulted by alien species teleporting all around me, getting fired at by the military, and... for gods sake, I ended up on a foreign system... A FOREIGN SYSTEM! have you ever heard of such a thing? I mean, one moment I am in the tight arbitrary mazes of the Lambda complex, the next moment I am jumping across rock clusters floating in outer space. I mean jeez. But while I was there i fought all manners of aliens including this one giant hovering baby and a headcrab with an enormous nutsack. Then this wierd guy in a suit keeps showing up, and he told me some wierd stuff that i still dont understand! Next thing i know im on a train heading to city 17 with my pompus god damn administrater staring me in the face the second i get off the damn train. What the hell do you expect to me to say!? Im pretty shell shocked, I havent drefecated or pissed since i got to work in black mesa before the cascade so i think my colon and bladder are about to burst! Kleiner's lab has a shitter right? And by the way what the hell are those nasty vortigaunts doing around here? Last I remember they were trying to splatter my arse all over Xen. What year is it? I mean, nothing looks the same around here. And for that matter, what is the combine? By the way, has anyone ever told you that you are an incredibly attractive lady? How old are you, i mean, i should be at least twenty years older than you, but i guess if ive been in stasis this whole time, my body is tecnically closer to your age. I mena, i havent had sex in over twenty years tecnically... Im sorry, that was uncalled for. I very often speak before I think, im just that much of a talker. Lets forget the whole thing and we can make a shot at being friends. By the way, you have a nice gun, why can I not pick it up without using the developer's console? It reminds me of the MagSec 4 from Perfect Dark, which was my favorite gun of that game. But anyway, where was I before... "

_________________________________________________________________________

Phew that was exhausting.
 
... I came at the last one. :|

Breen - ...and this one has proven a fine pawn to those who control him.

Gordon - YOU HAVE REALLY BAD TEETH! ^^

Breen - ... *Embarrassed, clears throat* Ahheh, I brush my teeth 3 times a day.

Gordon - AND YOUR BREATH SMELLS! :)

Breen - Fine, you'll go into the portal WITH them.

Gordon - You should get some tic tacs.

Breen - MY BREATH DOES NOT SME--- *Smashes control panel, huge elaborate lazer pops out, aimed at the core, many many many levels below and starts charging up*

Gordon - Ohh shi-!

*Lazer fires, goes through the citadel, destroys core, world explodes*
 
Cubbage - Colonel Odessa Cubbage at your service, sir.

Gordon - Why do you have a mustache? How does everybody know my name? Why was i volunteered to take down an alien ship with tiny rockets? WHY DOES YOUR NAME SOUND LIKE CABBAGE?!@#$%^&*()_+

Cubbage - Err...

Rebel - GUNSHIP!

Cubbage - Damn! ... Err... Let me just... err... Sent a warning to lighthouse point! yes! They will be glad to hear you made it! Heh... hehe... *Causually turns around*

Gordon - *Being rushed upstairs by rebels* YOU PUSSEY! YOU ****ING PUSSEY! ONCE I DESTROY THAT GUNSHIP I'M GONNA COME BACK AND PUT A BOLT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! YOU ****! IF ALL MY ALLIES WEREN'T INVINCIBLE TO MY ATTACKS I WOULD CROWBAR OUT YOUR EYES! SOMEONE JUST OPEN THE GATE SO I CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF... *Arrives at rooftop, gunship has killed all his support* Ohh... F*ck...
 
(I like this one well enough to repeat it):

Dr. Breen: Well if it isnt Gordon Freeman at last.

Gordon: Barney says "F*ck you."
 
nokori3byo said:
(I like this one well enough to repeat it):

Dr. Breen: Well if it isnt Gordon Freeman at last.

Gordon: Barney says "F*ck you."
Click to expand...

:D

Win.



GMan: "Wake up, Mr. Freeman, wake up, and smell the ashes."
Gordon: "Five more minuites."
 
breen - Gordon Freeman, at last!

Gordon - Didn't I kick your ass 15 minutes from now?

Breen - Uhh...
 
GMan: "Rise and shine Mr. Freeman, rise and ... shiiine"
Gordon: "shit, acid flashback."
 
haha nice one, this will be one hell of a thread.

Vort: This is more than anyone can bear..
Gordon: Yeah, it's really this whole combine war thing is killing me..

Breen: Let me remind all citizens of the dangers of magical thinking. We have scarcely begun to climb from the dark pit of our species' evolution. Let us not slide backward into oblivion, just as we have finally begun to see the light. If you see this so-called Free Man, report him
Gordon: Punches Console Screen ans says f*** you

Alyx: This is the gravity gun my father was talking about. You can call it the zero-point energy field manipulator if you really want to."
Gordon: Cut the crap and gimme the gun..

Father Grig: "I am Father Grigori. You have already met my... congregation!
Gordon: Yeah, they are really the most holiest of shit..Holy Shit..

On death citizen: Resistance Soldier: Should we bury him here?
Gordon (weak..): Use the no..noclip...dies..
 
RNEvermore said:
Alyx: "Man of few words arent you?"

Gordon: "Actually, contrary to popular belief, I am not actually that reserved of a person, but I have been trapped in a series of incredibly unorthodox events. In fact, to me, what seems like mear days ago I was in the test chamber of Black Mesa where a god damn resonance cascade turned my whole world upside down, I was forced to traverse the complex maze of Black Mesa, getting assaulted by alien species teleporting all around me, getting fired at by the military, and... for gods sake, I ended up on a foreign system... A FOREIGN SYSTEM! have you ever heard of such a thing? I mean, one moment I am in the tight arbitrary mazes of the Lambda complex, the next moment I am jumping across rock clusters floating in outer space. I mean jeez. But while I was there i fought all manners of aliens including this one giant hovering baby and a headcrab with an enormous nutsack. Then this wierd guy in a suit keeps showing up, and he told me some wierd stuff that i still dont understand! Next thing i know im on a train heading to city 17 with my pompus god damn administrater staring me in the face the second i get off the damn train. What the hell do you expect to me to say!? Im pretty shell shocked, I havent drefecated or pissed since i got to work in black mesa before the cascade so i think my colon and bladder are about to burst! Kleiner's lab has a shitter right? And by the way what the hell are those nasty vortigaunts doing around here? Last I remember they were trying to splatter my arse all over Xen. What year is it? I mean, nothing looks the same around here. And for that matter, what is the combine? By the way, has anyone ever told you that you are an incredibly attractive lady? How old are you, i mean, i should be at least twenty years older than you, but i guess if ive been in stasis this whole time, my body is tecnically closer to your age. I mena, i havent had sex in over twenty years tecnically... Im sorry, that was uncalled for. I very often speak before I think, im just that much of a talker. Lets forget the whole thing and we can make a shot at being friends. By the way, you have a nice gun, why can I not pick it up without using the developer's console? It reminds me of the MagSec 4 from Perfect Dark, which was my favorite gun of that game. But anyway, where was I before... "

_________________________________________________________________________

Phew that was exhausting.
Click to expand...

That was awesome.
 
RNEvermore said:
Alyx: "Man of few words arent you?"

Gordon: "Actually, contrary to popular belief, I am not actually that reserved of a person, but I have been trapped in a series of incredibly unorthodox events. In fact, to me, what seems like mear days ago I was in the test chamber of Black Mesa where a god damn resonance cascade turned my whole world upside down, I was forced to traverse the complex maze of Black Mesa, getting assaulted by alien species teleporting all around me, getting fired at by the military, and... for gods sake, I ended up on a foreign system... A FOREIGN SYSTEM! have you ever heard of such a thing? I mean, one moment I am in the tight arbitrary mazes of the Lambda complex, the next moment I am jumping across rock clusters floating in outer space. I mean jeez. But while I was there i fought all manners of aliens including this one giant hovering baby and a headcrab with an enormous nutsack. Then this wierd guy in a suit keeps showing up, and he told me some wierd stuff that i still dont understand! Next thing i know im on a train heading to city 17 with my pompus god damn administrater staring me in the face the second i get off the damn train. What the hell do you expect to me to say!? Im pretty shell shocked, I havent drefecated or pissed since i got to work in black mesa before the cascade so i think my colon and bladder are about to burst! Kleiner's lab has a shitter right? And by the way what the hell are those nasty vortigaunts doing around here? Last I remember they were trying to splatter my arse all over Xen. What year is it? I mean, nothing looks the same around here. And for that matter, what is the combine? By the way, has anyone ever told you that you are an incredibly attractive lady? How old are you, i mean, i should be at least twenty years older than you, but i guess if ive been in stasis this whole time, my body is tecnically closer to your age. I mena, i havent had sex in over twenty years tecnically... Im sorry, that was uncalled for. I very often speak before I think, im just that much of a talker. Lets forget the whole thing and we can make a shot at being friends. By the way, you have a nice gun, why can I not pick it up without using the developer's console? It reminds me of the MagSec 4 from Perfect Dark, which was my favorite gun of that game. But anyway, where was I before... "

_________________________________________________________________________

Phew that was exhausting.
Click to expand...

*applaud*
 
Barney: "Now, about that beer I owe you!"
Gordon: "Yeah, what ABOUT that beer you owe me."
 
G-man: I'm sure it will make sense to you in the course of...well I'm not really at liberty to say...

Gordon: Hey give me my answers now! When will I get my answers?!! This really isn't making any sense....
 
Alyx: ... Hey! And you found a gun!
Gordon: This stud already had a gun. :naughty:

Alyx: UGH! This water's NASTY!
Gordon: I got some nasty water for ya. :naughty:

Alyx: Let's hope it's still light out.
Gordon: I got the light right down here. :naughty:

Alyx: Looks like the striders really tore the hell out of this place...
Gordon: I'd like to tear the hell out of your place. :naughty:
Alyx: Alright Gordon, cut the crap with all these sexual innuendo.
Gordon: In YOUR endo. :naughty:
Alyx: *Sigh*
 
Cybernoid said:
I used a special transmodulating alpha decoder device and managed to capture the entire conversation, which is actually much longer than it seems. This is what I discovered!

G-Man: So what's going on with Half-Life 2? Any progress?
Scientist: We've made some excellent progress with the physics engine.
G-Man: Physics engine! What! No one cares about that shit! Tresspasser sucked donkey balls anyway.
Scientist: Now, now, Tresspasser wasn't that bad. I think physics modelling could be the future! We could have flying scientists!
G-Man: Don't be an ass. Just make some more levels, apply some DirectX effects and release it... wait, who is that strange, bearded man behind the window?
Scientist: Oh, that's Gordon, the mute retard. I never understood what Laidlaw saw in him.
G-Man: Fascinating! Does it talk?
Scienst: No, that's the whole point. He communicates with gestures. Look, now he's extending his middle finger. I wonder what that means.
G-Man: I never suspected such things could be. But that gives me an idea! What if we could have real gestures and facial expressions in Half-Life 2! It would be wicked!
Scientist: Don't be a retard, no one cares about that shit. You're only going to shoot the NPCs in the face anyway.
G-Man: Well... well, you suck.
Scientist: I don't concur.
Click to expand...
:LOL:
 
G-Man: I do apologize for what must seem to you an arbitrary imposition, Dr. Freeman, I trust it will all make sense in the course of... well... I am really not at liberty to say.

Gordon: I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and there were dice in mirror. If anything I could say this cab was rare, but I thought no forget it, yo home to Bel-Air
 
Ennui said:
G-Man: I do apologize for what must seem to you an arbitrary imposition, Dr. Freeman, I trust it will all make sense in the course of... well... I am really not at liberty to say.

Gordon: I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and there were dice in mirror. If anything I could say this cab was rare, but I thought no forget it, yo home to Bel-Air
Click to expand...

epic win
 
Nahilanth: frrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gordon: :| OMFWTFSALSABBQ! A GIANT FLOTIGN BABY! LoL!!!!11!1!11!11!

That was my first impression. :D
 
Van_Halen said:
Nahilanth: frrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gordon: :| OMFWTFSALSABBQ! A GIANT FLOTIGN BABY! LoL!!!!11!1!11!11!

That was my first impression. :D
Click to expand...

Ahhahaha so true.
 
Usually throughout the game I just imagine Gordon to be muttering SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT under his breath constantly.
 
*After you choose to work for G-Man in the end on HL1*

Gordon: "I knew I should have been a dentist...."
 
*After you Choose not to go with Gman at the end of HL1*

Gordon: Shit, isn't this the ending of the First episode of Doom 1?



Anyone who doesn't get this FAILS.
 
Breen: "At the moment of synapse, this chamber will be bathed in radioactive particles that have yet to be named by human science. I might even name one after you, that way you won't be completely forgotten!"

Gordon: "Aww your so kind. Freemanium... has a nice ring to it! Oh no wait! Gordonium! Sweeeet.
 
Eh those would be elemental names, not partical names.
 
This is not really talking to anyone but

Gordon as he walks into the core room: "ARGH IT BURNS MY FACE"
 
Alyx: "I'm Alyx Vance, you knew my father back at Black Mesa, you probably don't remember me though."

Gordon: "Actually, a funny thing is, I am you Dad. Don't tell Eli though, if he found out I was with your Mum, he'll kill me with his leg."
 
Lmao

Gman: The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference.

Gordon: Koo Koo Kachoo?
 
Guy: "Hey, I didn't see you get on this train.."
Gordon: "Yeah, Well how about you SHUT THE **** UP?"
Guy: "?"
 
HEV Suit: Minor Fracture Detected..

Gordon: Damnit, that makes, what, 50? I frickin' LOVE this suit.
 
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