"If You Could Talk Back"

lololololol this is great thread. i think its gettin revived for which i am grateful
 
guy: "I didn't see you get on board."
Me: "Neither did I, but some gay guy at valve decided that they would scrap the entire intro to the game, which would have explained what happened, but instead threw me ignorantly onto this train, with no idea WTF is going on."
guy: "Whatever."
 
BREEN:"Tell me, Doctor Freeman, if you can: you have destroyed so much... what is it, exactly, that you have created? Can you name even one thing?"
GORDON:"Tell me,Doctor Breen,have you ever made out with an combine advisor?"

BREEN:"Welcome to City 17. It's safer here."
GORDON:"Great,*****n Mother Russia's 1984"..


ALYX:(After firefight sequence) "Sorry it took so long to get here. It looks like you really could have used some help."
GORDON:*Passionately kisses her,Alyx tries to back off*
ALYX:WTF?
GORDON:"umm..i...i thought you were someone else?"
ALYX:"Nevermind that,you reek of antlion man juice!"
 
"Now... (Barney takes off his mask) ... about that beer I owed you!"

GORDON:"WHASSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
BARNEY:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!"
GORDON:"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP!!!"
*kleiner on the intercom*
KLEINER:"WHATSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP??????????????????"
BARNEY:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
GORDON:"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP"
*combine metrocops bust in*
METROCOP:"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS UUUUUUUP?????"
GORDON:"WHASSSAAAAAAAAP?"
METROCOP:"I'll tell you what's up,you're going to nova prospekt"
 
Marine 1: So where are we taking him?
Marine 2: Topside for questioning.
Marine 1: What for we got him. Let's kill him now!
Marine 2: And if they find the Body?
Marine 1: Body? What body?
Marine 1&2: Ahahaha!
Gordon: Ooooooooooh shit...
 
Gman: Doctor Freeeeemaaaannnnn...
Gordon: TAG YOU'RE IT!
 
99.vikram said:
NO. Short hair = hawt.
Click to expand...
Don't get me wrong, she's hot, but there'll always be that hair keeping her from her incredible hawtness potential. To be on topic:

Father Grigori: Aim for the head!

Gordon: OHHHHH MY GOD!! You're such a @#$%ing bad-ass! Dude, dude, dude we have to spend Saturday invading the combine citadel! Wait, did I tell you about the time I killed the Nihilanth!? Yeah well I-

Father Grigori: THE ZOMB-

Gordon: @$%# the zombies! Child's play. So the Nihilanth, yeah, I know it's a weird #$@%ing name right!! SO, here I was...
 
Countryside Rebel: We're driving to Hawaii!
Gordon: Count me in!!
 
Woman:Where you the only ones on that train
Gordon:Yeah,why

Combine:pick up that can!
Gordon:Im trying to,but it just flyes in front of me like i have no hands!
 
*alyx is writhing and screaming with the stalker on top of her*
Gordon: *girlish giggle* careful Alyx, I think it wants a kiss!

*alyx gets impaled by hunter*
Gordon: lulz, nice one. *high fives hunter*
Gordon: now, tag team.
*Kicks Alyx in the face*

(SPOILER IN THIS ONE)
*Eli is dying*
Alyx: dad.. Dad, don't leave me..
*Eli looks up with a big grin on his face*
Eli: GOTCHA!
*high fives Gordon*
*The advisors come in and take off the faceplates, revealing kleiner and magnusson inside.. Dog comes and has a laugh too*
All of them: aw man bitch, we got you so good!

Gman: Dr Freeman... YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D.
*takes off facemask*
Gman: We had you goin' there man! Aliens never bust into your job! You didn't become a badass action hero in a dystopian future, either. Hell, you didn't even get the girl! C'mere, Alyx.
*Gman and Alyx start making out*
Gman: Hell, she isn't even a girl in the first place!
*Alyx takes off her mask and it turns out she is really Colin Farrel*
*the Nihilanth walks over, takes off his mask, laughing, and pats Gordon on the back.
Nihilanth: Aw man, that was excellent. Remember that grenade you threw at me? That was actually a cupcake. The look on your face just there..

NEXT WEEK ON PUNK'D
WE GET SOME DOUCHE FROM THE ARMY AND A SECURITY GUARD WITH THE SAME PRANK.
 
DAMMIT SPOILER USING THE FREAKING TAG.

I was reading the word spoiler and then came across the spoiler. Dammit.

Use the tag please
 
No amusing comments from me. It's funnier the fact he doesn't say anything. I just imagine him doing things and making actions at people.

Aah, what the hell...

HL1
Barney: You're late Mr Freeman
Gordon: Blame the goddamn long train journey! Now shift, I need a piss.
 
*Gordon tries to open the toilet door in hl1*

Scientist: IM IN HERE.. HEY
Gordon: IMA COMIN TO RAPE EWWW >:D
 
Gordon-Shepherd;2434851[spoiler said:
*Eli is dying*
Alyx: dad.. Dad, don't leave me..
*Eli looks up with a big grin on his face*
Eli: GOTCHA!
*high fives Gordon*
*The advisors come in and take off the faceplates, revealing kleiner and magnusson inside.. Dog comes and has a laugh too*
All of them: aw man bitch, we got you so good!
[/spoiler]

Gman: Dr Freeman... YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D.
*takes off facemask*
Gman: We had you goin' there man! Aliens never bust into your job! You didn't become a badass action hero in a dystopian future, either. Hell, you didn't even get the girl! C'mere, Alyx.
*Gman and Alyx start making out*
Gman: Hell, she isn't even a girl in the first place!
*Alyx takes off her mask and it turns out she is really Colin Farrel*
*the Nihilanth walks over, takes off his mask, laughing, and pats Gordon on the back.
Nihilanth: Aw man, that was excellent. Remember that grenade you threw at me? That was actually a cupcake. The look on your face just there..

NEXT WEEK ON PUNK'D
WE GET SOME DOUCHE FROM THE ARMY AND A SECURITY GUARD WITH THE SAME PRANK.
Click to expand...




THATS...kinda...insane...dont u think?
But fun either way
 
Gordon-Shepherd said:
*alyx is writhing and screaming with the stalker on top of her*
Gordon: *girlish giggle* careful Alyx, I think it wants a kiss!

*alyx gets impaled by hunter*
Gordon: lulz, nice one. *high fives hunter*
Gordon: now, tag team.
*Kicks Alyx in the face*

(SPOILER IN THIS ONE)
*Eli is dying*
Alyx: dad.. Dad, don't leave me..
*Eli looks up with a big grin on his face*
Eli: GOTCHA!
*high fives Gordon*
*The advisors come in and take off the faceplates, revealing kleiner and magnusson inside.. Dog comes and has a laugh too*
All of them: aw man bitch, we got you so good!

Gman: Dr Freeman... YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D.
*takes off facemask*
Gman: We had you goin' there man! Aliens never bust into your job! You didn't become a badass action hero in a dystopian future, either. Hell, you didn't even get the girl! C'mere, Alyx.
*Gman and Alyx start making out*
Gman: Hell, she isn't even a girl in the first place!
*Alyx takes off her mask and it turns out she is really Colin Farrel*
*the Nihilanth walks over, takes off his mask, laughing, and pats Gordon on the back.
Nihilanth: Aw man, that was excellent. Remember that grenade you threw at me? That was actually a cupcake. The look on your face just there..

NEXT WEEK ON PUNK'D
WE GET SOME DOUCHE FROM THE ARMY AND A SECURITY GUARD WITH THE SAME PRANK.
Click to expand...
Oh God, I can't stop lolling. :LOL:
 
Half-Life 1

Barney(clone): Freeman, right? I got a message for you. Make sure you don't...*gunshot* [groans]
Gordon: Well I hope that wasn't important.
 
Lets get em boys!
*Takes out model manipulator*
 
Sorry, last post wasn't very helpful. Was slightly upset, seeing as someone had just spoiled the game for me. Managed to go the past few weeks without looking at any of the spoilers keeping the game as "virginised" as possible.

Can I sue him? :)
 
G-man: But this is where I get off.

Gordon: I sincerely hope it's Alyx you'll be "getting off" with.
 
Very sorry Drucker and Azner, this is really my fault in the first place.
In my defense, at least I edited my post to put in the spoiler tags. the other guy hasn't done that.
 
Man: They alway arrive but they never depart. I see them coming but never see them go....

Gordon: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
 
Gordon-Shepherd said:
Very sorry Drucker and Azner, this is really my fault in the first place.
In my defense, at least I edited my post to put in the spoiler tags. the other guy hasn't done that.
Click to expand...

Heh, no, it wasn't you, it was Max_Fall.

And as to talking back? I've always wanted to talk back to the Security Guards and Scientists in HL1. They'd say something stupid like "I'm going to wait here for my colleagues" and I'm just itching to retort back at him
 
Druckles said:
Heh, no, it wasn't you, it was Max_Fall.

And as to talking back? I've always wanted to talk back to the Security Guards and Scientists in HL1. They'd say something stupid like "I'm going to wait here for my colleagues" and I'm just itching to retort back at him
Click to expand...

yeah, it's just earlier my post didn't have spoilertags.
 
Father Grigori: What, brother? Did I not tell you to seek the church?
Gordon: Yes. but goddamn Valve made the level this way
Father Grigori: It is dangerous here!
Gordon: No shit, Sherlock!
 
Alyx: Dr. Kleiner we've got to get going.
Dr. Kleiner: Not until I find Lamarr.
Gordon: Uh, didn't that thing get teleported to the beach?
 
Alyx: Well, here we are again...
Gordon: Well... My life has just been reflected back on me, and now, for some odd reason, I am afraid of the light.
 
*glug glug*

Wait, Gordon has no mouth... he can't drink! :eek:
 
Drill Instructor: If I ask you to jump, you're gonna reply with "How high?" Do you get me?
Marines: Sir, yes sir!
Shepard: Are you John Wayne? Is this me?
 
Gman: Time?.....Is it really that time again Dr.freeman?
Gordon: If you say time again I'm going to crowbar you in the face.
 
G-Man: Rather than give you the illusion of free choice
Gordon: Free choice is an illusion? I must be on acid
G-Man: I have chosen for you
Gordon: AW SH** WHAT THE HE** WHY DO YOU CHOOSE EVERYTHING FOR ME? ARE YOU MY MOM OR SOMETHING?
 
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