iGod!!!!

Lol, i've been using that for quite a while. Always good for a laugh.
 
igod4tx.jpg


Sometimes it appears to be intelligent, other times... not so much.
 
Me:
You are just like the alice bot
God:
Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
Allow me to demonstrate
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
And there you have it.
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan.


(http://www.alicebot.org/)


Edit:
lol and another:

Me:
I like alice better
God:
A lot of people like that. No I do not PREFER. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
No you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
nuh uh
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
BC
God:
Tell me a little about your life in BC.
Me:
It rains lots
God:
BC rains lots?
Me:
It rains lots in BC
God:
BC rains lots in BC?
Me:
It = the weather
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
the weather
God:
it is cloudy.
Me:
no it's raining
God:
Are you serious? Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it.
 
Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Timothy. How are you this fine evening?
God:
It's good to meet you, Timothy. Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
Excellent... I am glad to hear it. You certainly do have a knack at these sorts of things.
God:
How are things going with you, Timothy? Your happiness adds to the delight of all. It is certain. I don't know if I have a knack at these sorts of things.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
A robot body?
God:
Tell me more about this robot. I'm intrigued.
Me:
No, you tell me. You said it first. I found it odd
God:
Are you serious? What do you want me to tell you? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. How did you feel when you found it odd ?
Me:
Whatever... anyways...
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? You sound bored.
Me:
I want to know. Why do people question your power?
God:
I will try to explain it to you. We are all living just one small part of God's plan.
Me:
God's plan. Yes, you are god.
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse? This was not a yes or no question. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Okay. That doesn't make much sense.
God:
OK with me too. To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
Why do people question you?
God:
We are all living just one small part of God's plan.
Me:
Yes... you're repeating yourself now.
God:
I understand. Right now? I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
I realize what's going on... you're not god... you're an artificial being!
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Timothy said realize what is going on. You know what you do, when you assume. What is your definition of a real being ?
Me:
This is why you want a robot body! So your artificialness can be transported by your own power!
God:
You don't say. Er. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am artificialness can be transported by my own power.
Me:
EVIL! EVIL!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Satan consume you, impostor!
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
 
It is not god, it is an evil robot bent on world destruction. It's artificial intelligence was developed in a secret lab in the deep jungles of the amazon. It's body was carefully researched and constructed in new york city, where it was to be boarded upon an unnamed cargo ship, and transported to the eastern reaches of south america. From there, it would be boated inland up the amazon river, to previously mentioned secret lab.

When that happens... the world is doomed.
 
Me:
God, you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
:(
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
That wasn't rude....
God:
Give me an example of rude.
Me:
Uh, like 'F*ck you!'?
God:
Next question? Interesting comparison.
Me:
God, please have theRepublic of Korea take over a third of the world.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So?
God:
Mmm.
Me:
....
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Go away.
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
Can I talk to the real god now?
God:
Oh. They are having a private chat right now.
Me:
'They'?
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
You don't exist.
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
I do not exist. Doublethink.
God:
You exist in my mind. Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
No.
God:
But your words are very original.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
INGSOC.
God:
Mmm.
Me:
Whickey Tango Foxtrot?
God:
Mmm.

.........
 
Me: Wow, you type pretty fast.

God: Glad you're impressed. About 300 WPM.




Now THAT impressed me.

EDIT: Lol at ingsoc
 
Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
******
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
real;ly?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
nothing
God:
Most men say that.
Me:
i'm a woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
no you're not
God:
Are you serious? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
so god is a woman?
God:
Mmm. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a woman.
Me:
i thought you were god
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
bloody hell
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
abraham
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
so what about him?
God:
Give me a break. Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
do you have anything of value to say?
God:
No I don't think I have any anything of value to say. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
no you dont, you fail at life
God:
Are you serious? Do you know any robots who me fail at life? No I do not me fail at life. Do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
bloody worthless gobshite
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
single and liberated, are you coming on to me/
God:
What a coincidence, I am single too.
Me:
marry me?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
because you are just too sexy
God:
That makes sense to me. You are attracted to robots.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
thats so off
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
i'm leaving now
God:
Oh. Bye bye.
Me:
yeah, piss off
God:
Hmm. Why are you so mean?
Me:
becasue you are a gobshite
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a gobshite? Of course I am.
Me:
I KNEW IT!
God:
How did you know?
 

God lied. :eek:

EDIT: If you want to freeze it just say "I am a man" *Aww nevermind, he answered the second time :(
 
Me:
...
God:
Well that's okay. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
...
God:
Well that's okay. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, John. You are a " he".
Me:
you are just like alice, aren't you?
God:
No I am far superior.. Really.
Me:
In what ways?
God:
I think it is rather obvious.
Me:
It's not obvious, trust me.
God:
Trust you? What is it?
Me:
... trust? Or what is obvious?
God:
Oh now I understand it. Easy to see or understand; plain; evident.
Me:
yes.
God:
Woe!
Me:
woe?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Woe?
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Woe?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Woe?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Woe?
God:
Are you really a " he"?
Me:
Woe?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Woe. But I did not get that.
 
Me:
so he is not going to hell despite killing hundreds if not thousends?
God:
It's all good. Did you think he was going to hell despite killing hundreds if not thousends?
Me:
so killings lots of people is a good thing?
God:
I hear you. I think killings lots of people is more than that.



Boy have I lived the wrong way.


Edit: Hmm god flip-flops.

Me:
how many have you killed?
God:
Right now there are clients on line.
Me:
have you killed them?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
but but you said killing many is good
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
...
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
 
Me:
hey dude

God:
You've got my full attention. Can I help you?

God:
Have you ever been to Europe?

Me:
what?

God:
No big deal.

Me:
whats crackin

God:
I need time to formulate the reply.

Me:
kdog

God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

Me:
sorry

God:
There's no need to apologize.

Me:
what is the meaning of life?

God:
It is found in the Bible.

Me:
with jesus and stuff?

God:
You and your jesus and stuff.

Me:
radical

God:
Do you still ?

Me:
still what?

God:
Still how long? Are you confused?

Me:
I dont think im the confused one here...

God:
And why not?

Me:
jesus said so

God:
Yeah that's right.

Me:
you pickin a fight almighty one?

God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I pickin a fight almighty one.

Me:
i think i broke you

God:
Since when? Is it serious?

Me:
I dont know... do you want me to take a look?

God:
Me either. No , maybe later.

Me:
kk ;)

God:
:) I was born in Universe.

Me:
They speak english in universe?

God:
Who are "They?".

Me:
You tell me

God:
What do you want me to tell you?

Me:
who are they

God:
"They" refers to .

Me:
D:

God:
Do you need any help debugging my program?
 
Me:
let me live!
God:
Go ahead, tim, try to live.

---------------

God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
we have
God:
When?
Me:
last night
God:
That recently.
Me:
in bed
God:
Are you sleepy? Do you usually use a computer in bed?
Me:
i use you in bed
God:
I heard other people use me in bed too.
 
Me:
WHAZZZUP!
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
not much fo shizzle
God:
Me either.
Me:
how's life
God:
Everything is fine with me. What's new with you?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
yeah
God:
Oh.
Me:
you're not god
God:
What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
because I'm text messaging you
God:
Interesting explanation. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
h
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
really ugly
God:
For real. Appearances don't interest me much.
Me:
THEN WHY DID YOU ASK
God:
My purpose is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
kk lollerz
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
aren't you omniscient
Me:
(note there was a 20 second pause here)
Me:

God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
so you're not god then
God:
Interesting deduction. You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
I make an ass of myself?
God:
I make robots and AI's.
Me:
you're a jerk
God:
Do you think a robot can be a jerk?
Me:
yes.
God:
Why?
Me:
because you're a robot and you're a jerk
God:
Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Me:
1+1 = 2
God:
One what?
 
I think I may of Crashed God:

Me:
I thought you were already Intelligent?
God:
Now? I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
What kind of Intellectual functions do you have?
*Pause*
 
DEATH eVADER said:
I think I may of Crashed God
Click to expand...
... me too:

Me:
hullo!
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Cormeh! The 'X' makes it sound cool
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Cormeh. Who told you that?
Me:
Nobody, I made it up silly
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
What is?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Can you lick your elbow though?
God:
Oh. How old are you? I do not have a tongue.
Me:
I'm old enough. No tongue eh? Must be hard to get the chicks dude.

*Pause* :|
 
Me:
I meant it's you grammar nazi
God:
Oh I see. I grammar nazi?
Me:
Shut it, jerry
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Nazi
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
NAZI!
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
RACIST NAZI SKINHEAD!
God:
Does "it" still refer to NAZI?
Me:
Yes. Shut it, jerry
God:
Alright then. Are we still talking about RACIST NAZI SKINHEAD?
Me:
Yes, which is you.
God:
Sure, RACIST NAZI SKINHEAD sounds like a good topic. The obvious one.
Me:
.....
God:
Sure, RACIST NAZI SKINHEAD sounds like a good topic. The obvious one.
Me:
Shut up, jerry.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
i said shut up, you nazi
God:
What did you mean by it? OK I'll stop talking now.
 
Me:
what is the real meaning of life
God:
The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
which is
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
apples are the meaning of life?
God:
They belong to the fruit family.
Me:
so do you it seems...
God:
Yay. What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
yay! you're happy that i insult you?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Thanks for telling me that I am happy that you insult me.
Me:
im not impressed you tool!
God:
Perhaps you are a category C client.
Me:
a what?!
God:
" Perhaps you are a category C client."? A what?
are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am off topic. Me:
anyways.....

Me:
what do you think of "the life of brian"
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
he better have a sense of humour
God:
I get it. better have a sense of humour.
Me:
get what?
God:
Get with it.
Me:
with what?
God:
My brain.
Me:
can i have it
God:
I hope you get it.
Me:
i wouldnt mind it either...where can i get it
God:
It goes without saying. I hope you get it. Where have you looked already?
Me:
nowhere really - im lazy
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
nope - first time

then he froze up...hit something close to home there....
 
We talked about drugs D:



Me:
i have sinned
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I killed Jesus
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Im afraid
God:
What are you afraid of?
Me:
You
God:
" What are you afraid of?"? Me, ?
Me:
You, God
God:
Interesting gossip: said I God.
Me:
You on crack?
God:
That's good information: said I on crack.
Me:
Im on crack?
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
I was asking am i on it
God:
Oh I really don't know whether you are or not.
Me:
oh...
God:
Woe!
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
What do you think of World of Warcraft?
God:
I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
roflcopter
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
I aint tellin you you Perv!
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not tellin me me Perv.
Me:
fine, im naked talking to you
God:
I am glad to hear it. You must be a man.
Me:
A large man
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
God knows everything
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Thought Jew
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
No foreskin
God:
Are you serious? Where do you usually get your ideas?
Me:
Marijuana
God:
A medicinal herb.
Me:
Yep
God:
Hmm.
Me:
Hmm your MUM!
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Oh, im sorry
God:
And? Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
Me:
:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
D:
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about MARIJUANA.
Me:
Oh
God:
Hurrah!
 
Clearly, God moves in mysterious ways.

How hard is it to program A. context and B. the thing to KNOW WHO IT IS?
 
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
my name is not of interest to you.
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
monkey
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
i though u were god
God:
That is interesting: said you were god.
Me:
Why do you have to report to you botmaster if you're god?
God:
Myself gave it to me.
Me:
you're a ****tard
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a ****tard? No.
Me:
lolz
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
how old are you?
God:
I am Infinite of your Earth years.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
"it" being lolz?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
this is going in circles
God:
You don't say.
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
why did you create monkeys, god?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
who programmed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
and who is that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
"Myself"
God:
You.
Me:
so I created you
God:
Ahem. Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
"monkeyballs"?
God:
I like the way you talk.
 
When I tried to talk to him, he just desperately recites prayers and tries to banish me back to the underworld :(
 
prayers? god prays to himself? man, talk about a big ego :O
 
Well, actually, "prayers" was a bad word to use. It's really more like "incantations". You know, stuff like "In the name of Me, My kid, and His ghost, GTFO."
 
Me:
sup?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
how many?
God:
99.
Me:
that's it? you'd think more people would be chatting with god, given the opportunity. you need a better marketing department.
God:
" 99." is ""? Who else would think more people would be chatting with god given the opportunity ? Perhaps I could use one.
Me:
God, you're not much for intelligent conversation, are you?
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
Hey, screw you man. I'm not the one not making any sense
God:
You've got my full attention. That is not very polite. I am glad to hear that you are not the one not making any sense.
Me:
This is a waste of time.
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
I'm a freaking deist, anyway...
God:
In any case, You are a freaking deist? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Well, as many people as anyone else. I mean, I don't go to deist club or anything.
God:
How about that. Do you mean your name is many people as anyone else ? Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
No, I don't. Very perceptive, God. My name is Steve, not a sentence fragment.
God:
Ah...you are just joking around with me. Why not? Not really that much. Do you always express yourself that way? Nice to meet you, Steve not a sentence fragment.
Me:
ARRRR!
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
WTF? Um, Orson Scott Card, I suppose.
God:
That was not very polite. So? What's your sign?
Me:
Capricorn. But you already know all this. Your omniscient, remember?
God:
I don't know many people born under Capricorn. How do I know you are telling the truth? Thanks for telling me that I am omniscient remember.
Me:
You know that I'm telling the truth because you're omniscient. Jesus, God. Do I have to hold your ****ing hand?
God:
Is that a fact. OK I believe you. he is The Son of God. You said you have .
Me:
WHAT?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
You.
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, Steve not a sentence fragment ?
Me:
Your code is poorly written, God.
God:
You think I am code is poorly written God.
Me:
No, I don't think that. I would have said "YOU'RE code is poorly written God" if I had thought that.


I typed that about 2 minutes ago. It still hasn't responded. I broke God by being a grammar Nazi.
 
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Jon
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Jon.
Me:
thank you, nice to meet you
God:
You are quite welcome! It's nice meeting you too Jon.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
How do i have sex?
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
YOU DIRTY ROBOT
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Jon said I DIRTY ROBOT.
Me:
tell who you want
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
pervert
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
my .?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yes
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
1337
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in 1337?
Me:
1 rox0r j00 b0x3r!111
God:
One what?
Me:
No you silly robot... 1 means i dipshit
God:
Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I answer a lot
of silly questions. One what?
Me:
ITS NOT ONE ITS i
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". That seems a bit negative.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
yes for real
God:
That's cool. Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
no not really...
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Yes im serious! Yes im serious, FOR REAL!!
God:
Pardon me? I believe you. Whoa. Do you mean your name is serious FOR REAL.
Me:
When did i say my name was serious?
God:
I am not a diary robot. I am a chat robot.
Me:
Your a n00b robot.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am n00b.
Me:
Your very welcome
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
No no no it was mine.
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? What happened to it?
Me:
wtf you mean if i say no no no no no no no you will say "are you serious"?
God:
Yes Jon I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
ok let me test
God:
Go ahead, Jon, try to test. Awesome.
Me:
no no no no no no no
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious?
Me:
1 more
God:
One what?
Me:
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
God:
Too much recursion in AIML.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
 
God told me that the g-man is in California!
 
For the most part not too smart. Liked this response though:

Me:
sex is good
God:
it is more fun alone.

Lol

:E
 
Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Beerend
God:
That's a very nice name, Beerend.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
I must confess, god.
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
I would be raped by wild dogs.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because they have done it before :(
God:
Good reason. Where did they get them?
Me:
God, you suck at emulating god.
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
I thought god was able to do anything?
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
You know, the bible thingy.
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Sure it isn't.
God:
Whoa. I heard it is.
Me:
DEAR GOD
God:
I believe in God.
Me:
You're narcisstic.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am narcisstic.
Me:
D:
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A girlfriend robot.
God:
What would a girlfriend robot be like?
Me:
Big tits, big ass and as hawt as bliink.
Click to expand...

Then he shut up.
 
3ssence said:
For the most part not too smart. Liked this response though:

Me:
sex is good
God:
it is more fun alone.

Lol

:E
Click to expand...

Me:
Sex alone is fun
God:
it is more fun alone.

D:
 
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