Krynn72
The Freeman
- Joined
- May 16, 2004
- Messages
- 26,094
- Reaction score
- 926
Over the past several days, me and the biggest f*cking mosquito i have ever f*cking seen in my entire f*cking life have played a deadly game of hide and go seek. I first saw him bouncing his dumb face along the wall behind my computer monitors. And from then on, whenever I tried to find some sort of paper towel/napkin/unimportant piece of paper, I would be forced to look away for a second and grab something. In that instant he would have vanished. I would get up, stop everything I was doing and play the waiting game with him. But every time he was nowhere to be found. Several hours later he would pop by again and we would do the dance again. Today we had our final show down. He popped by again in his same place (wall behind my monitors) and I looked down for a split second to grab a napkin I got from taco bell, and of course, he was gone already. I got up and did the same thing I always do, waited for him to come out of his hiding place. This time he made the mistake of doing so. I saw him emerge from behind the curtain. I jumped at the opportunity and slammed my napkin gloved left fist to the wall he was bouncing on. MISSED! DAMN YOU UNCOORDINATED OFF HAND! The bastard didnt appreciate my attempt to smush him against my wall, and he burst right at my face with a startling speed that sent me reeling backwards swinging my hands frantically to protect my face. The showdown ended when I was forced to make a hasty retreat down the hall into my bedroom to recuperate.
I dropped my napkin for a thick wad of papers that made up my AT&T cellphone contract. This made for a more stable and larger weapon. I re-emerged from my room, moving slowly, examining every inch of my still unfamiliar home for my enemy. I came back into the living room, saw him sitting calmly on the wall above my bookcase. Thats when I noticed the bottle of febreze on my desk that I had brought out during our last encounter. Experience has taught me that insects have a hard time maneuvering when weighed down by odor eliminating sticky liquids. I used all the stealth training I had garnered from my lifetime of playing video games and past him and grabbed the spray bottle. DAMN HIM! He did the dissapearing thing again. I retreat back into the hallway to get a closed off view of the living room. I lean up against the wall and wait once more. What seem like hours go by before I catch a glimpse of him again. He comes back out from behind my desk and sticks himself above my monitors. I move forward slowly. Due to my monitors being right there, I decide to hold off on the febreeze. I swing and miss again. All cautions go out the door and I spray the ****er with as many squirts as I can. It phases him enough to call off his attack and retreat behind my couch. I cant see behind it without sticking my face right up against the crack, so I start depth-charging him with febreeze. After awhile I get suspicious of why he isnt coming back out, so I quickly pull the couch away from the wall.
Nothing. Hes disappeared again. The only place he could have gone would be the hallway. I carefully examine the walls as I step in. Then I see a faint darkness against my grey carpet. It must be him. One spray confirms this as he tries to escape the mist of doom, but I have him cornered. My precautionary move of closing all the doors to the other rooms paid off. I unleash squirts upon squirts of odor eliminator until he is weighed down to a point where he cant even move. Now its squish time. My AT&T contract does its work and smushes him into the gap between my carpet and the door frame of my room. Hes dead, and seeing as I couldnt get him to stick to the paper, he is now going to forever be a soggy, mangled corpse halfway shoved underneath my carpet.
TLDR Version: I saw a big bug and wasted half a bottle of febreeze and 30 minutes of my life in order to kill him. I succeeded and am now breathing in the fresh potpourri scent of victory.
I dropped my napkin for a thick wad of papers that made up my AT&T cellphone contract. This made for a more stable and larger weapon. I re-emerged from my room, moving slowly, examining every inch of my still unfamiliar home for my enemy. I came back into the living room, saw him sitting calmly on the wall above my bookcase. Thats when I noticed the bottle of febreze on my desk that I had brought out during our last encounter. Experience has taught me that insects have a hard time maneuvering when weighed down by odor eliminating sticky liquids. I used all the stealth training I had garnered from my lifetime of playing video games and past him and grabbed the spray bottle. DAMN HIM! He did the dissapearing thing again. I retreat back into the hallway to get a closed off view of the living room. I lean up against the wall and wait once more. What seem like hours go by before I catch a glimpse of him again. He comes back out from behind my desk and sticks himself above my monitors. I move forward slowly. Due to my monitors being right there, I decide to hold off on the febreeze. I swing and miss again. All cautions go out the door and I spray the ****er with as many squirts as I can. It phases him enough to call off his attack and retreat behind my couch. I cant see behind it without sticking my face right up against the crack, so I start depth-charging him with febreeze. After awhile I get suspicious of why he isnt coming back out, so I quickly pull the couch away from the wall.
Nothing. Hes disappeared again. The only place he could have gone would be the hallway. I carefully examine the walls as I step in. Then I see a faint darkness against my grey carpet. It must be him. One spray confirms this as he tries to escape the mist of doom, but I have him cornered. My precautionary move of closing all the doors to the other rooms paid off. I unleash squirts upon squirts of odor eliminator until he is weighed down to a point where he cant even move. Now its squish time. My AT&T contract does its work and smushes him into the gap between my carpet and the door frame of my room. Hes dead, and seeing as I couldnt get him to stick to the paper, he is now going to forever be a soggy, mangled corpse halfway shoved underneath my carpet.
TLDR Version: I saw a big bug and wasted half a bottle of febreeze and 30 minutes of my life in order to kill him. I succeeded and am now breathing in the fresh potpourri scent of victory.
