Is Self-Harm Always Wrong?

[ship]

Man, some of you guys are so ****ing ignorant.

So I guess everyone who lived before 50 years ago never had this chemical imbalance and its something that just appeared out of the blue? Who controls your brain? I certainly hope you do.

ADD-how come that never existed till about 10 years ago? I guess you just cant go without the meds huh?

Many people have stated my opinion...you dont have it bad at all if your able to type that ****ing post. Your parents care...your just naiive. You can ****ing deal with it, I went through that phase once and then i was like "wait...WHAT THE ****?! I GOT ONE ****ING LIFE...WHY THE **** DO I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT STUPID SHIT...HELL WHY DO I CARE ABOUT EVEN THE BIG SHIT...DEAL...HAVE FUN CAUSE I AINT GONNA BE HERE LONG". I prolly phrased that terribly but I just realized to deal with it and just live life to its fullest instead of moaning about it.

Actually, these disorders never existed until recently - the past 20-30 years or so is when they've really crept into society. The earliest of these disorders to come about was PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) right after WWI, referred to as "shellshock" when they didn't know any better way to explain why veterans were suffering from such obscure symptoms. There's a difference between going through teenage angst and actually having a serious disorder. Do you think it's fun for me when I can't control the thoughts that go through my mind without having to punch a wall or scream real loud just to "snap out of it"?

I'm not wasting any more time on you. Please become more educated and respectful before you start trying to insult me and what I go through on a daily basis.

 

[Darkside55]

I'm going to start right off the bat in this post by saying I don't understand "depression," and I'm not a nice guy in these kinds of posts. Getting that out in the open before I begin.

Sim, someone on here needs to reach out and give you a good, hard slap, brother. At any point when you were writing that opening sentence to your post did you realize how stupid what you did is? "I cut myself because some girl wouldn't go out with me." WELL BOO-HOO. You mustered up the nerve, they laughed, you got wounded. Yeah, I can understand how that must've hurt; welcome to the human race. Sometimes you get shot down like that. You get sad about it, get angry about it, but that's when you muster up your resolve again. You DON'T go around saying, "Those girls laughed at me and I couldn't control the situation. But I can control this knife against my skin." Tell me that sounds reasonable to you, brother. Look at it objectively and tell me that sounds like it's actually solving anything.

And in the end, did you really have control over it? Sounds like it had more control over you, leading you to go from cutting all the way to trying to hang yourself, but stopping because you're a "pussy." Wake up Sim, you're not a pussy. Just like other people on here have said, you want to live. You just seem too thick, too woe is me, and too dependent on self-harm right now to realize it. You know how I can tell? Because you tell your friends not to tell anybody. You don't want to get help; you tell counselors what they want to hear rather than help them help you. That just means you want to sit around mopping and wallowing in the blackness and all that shit. Think about it...are you really in control of the situation? Because if you were, you could just STOP cutting yourself. You said it yourself..."sometimes I get urges to cut myself." That sounds more like addiction than control, doesn't it? Wasn't control the whole point of cutting?

I don't understand depression. Ship may have a legitimate problem with the chemical imbalance, but it sounds to me like you cut yourself because you got rejected by some <your choice of expletive here> girl. I'm not going to be one of the guys in this thread who tells his depression or anti-depression story (not in this post, but I will elaborate if someone wants) but there's been shit in my life most people on this forum, most people on the whole of the intarnet, couldn't even cope with. And you know, I never got depressed. Some things I never even felt sad about that I guess I probably should have. That's not to say I'm unfeeling...I've been sad, I've wanted to be alone; I think everyone goes through those bouts of introversion. But shit like "embracing the sorrows" or cutting yourself...it's laughable to me, and actually moreso than that it pisses me off. Makes me want to just shake you by the shoulders Sim and tell you to wake the *)#$#@ up, because you're not helping yourself.

In the way of actual advice, I'm going to point you in the direction of Morningstar's thread. I can't say it any better than this man:

You have to start by believing in yourself, because you are worth more than what you could ever imagine, trust me.

I suppose one of the reasons I never got depressed is because, since an extremely young age, I've had an incredible sense of self. And if you're depressed you need to be able to look inside yourself and realize who you are, and drawn strength from that. People in this thread who're saying, "join a martial art," "do something constructive," "play sports"; yeah, they mean well, but in the end, you need to have confidence (what you said you lost, and what led to this series of events) within your self. Don't place your confidence in the fact that you're a blackbelt or a good runner. Don't go off and try to do these things looking for confidence, because that's not external. That's internal. Look inside yourself, and believe in YOURSELF, like Morningstar said.

And to other people in here:

Ship, sorry about your medical problem. Hope you get better or....something. I at least hope it becomes tolerable to you; I don't know if you can get rid of a chemical imbalance or what, so I'm not going to say something like "get well soon."

Spoiler

Suck on a muffler to balance the chemicals.

:cheers: J/K, mate.

Stuff about pop culture and wanting the human race to die, soul as black as a burnt turkey, etc.

Write a song about it, emo kid. You're not nearly as deep as you think.

 

[ship]

Ship, sorry about your medical problem. Hope you get better or....something. I at least hope it becomes tolerable to you; I don't know if you can get rid of a chemical imbalance or what, so I'm not going to say something like "get well soon."

Spoiler

Suck on a muffler to balance the chemicals.

:cheers: J/K, mate.

No worries, man.
I'm really actually doing really well. I might have made it seem like I still suffer from all my shit, but no. No longer. I've figured some stuff out and with help from my doctors, everything's looking up. I'll finally be going back to school next semester.

Spoiler

It was actually a sucking on a 20-volt battery that did it for me.

 

[Tr0n]

Just go ahead and kill yourself.

 

[15357]

Just go ahead and kill yourself.

and if he does, won't you be held responsible?

 

[Tr0n]

and if he does, won't you be held responsible?

Not really.

If I was...oh well.

/me shrugs

 

[>>FrEnZy<<]

This is what happens when you kill god with britney spears and free trade. The way I see it sim you have four choices.

1) You can keep on hating yourself and hating the world around you. You can continue resorting to your destructive behaviour. You might feel like your justifying something to yourself. You might feel like your significant, but your not. Your just another turd floating in the sewarge like me, and everybody else.

2)You can tell the world to get fuked. I mean you only live once, so fuk everyone else, go do whatever that gives you pleasure and do whatever it takes for you to get it. Whether that be buying a bmw, fuking a slut, or killing jews.

3) die.

or

4)Go outside and look around. Find someone you can help, even if its your parents or your fuked up neighbor, do something useful. Even if its mowing the lawn, or something utterly pointless and stupid, do it. Do it for yourself. Do it to be useful. Even though it may seem useless in the big picture, The world will become better for the people around you, and they might not see how pointless life is but don't go destroying that for them. Go earn money and buy choclates for the kids playing at the park, I dunno, just do something kind. Sure everything is gonna end, sure everything is pointless, but why live in utter angst and despair until that end? its pointless anyway so just be content with what you have. You have an eternity to be dead afterwards. And hey, you might get betrayed by some bitch or bastard, but thats their problem, not yours. If they choose to be like that then that's their stupid choice. You can't let those people get to you, because if you do, your only letting them win. Don't let them win over you, because they don't deserve to win. If your trying hard to be the best person you can be than to hell with the people who betray you, just ignore them, get them out of your way, don't let them stop you. Don't runaway man, dont give them that satisfaction. don't let yourself stand in your way. Your afraid of yourself and you shouldnt be. Because you can do what you set your mind to man. You'll be fuking surpirsed. Don't fear failure, fear the success of people who sholdnt be succeeding. Because the reality is people need you. It may be the fuked up neighbor next door without a lawn mower or the two thirds of the world starving everynight, but the reality is people need you, and you can help them if you try. even if it might be a tiny bit. a least you made it that much better. because in the end it wont matter anyway, so be happy with yourself, because you helped, because you were kind. Dont let hate overcome you. Hate will only turn you into one of them.


oh, and dont go too any goddamn shrinks. I know, I'm studying psychology. Normal people will help you much more than they ever will. Jesus, saying that low seratonin causes depression is like say low food intake causes starvation. You can't surgically insert some bulimic chic with a food tube and claim the goddamn problem to be solved. You gotta find the reason. whether that may be low seratonin levels or not eating. What the hell is the matter with you people?

 

[SupremePain]

Lifes a bitch, and then you die.

Get over it.

 

[OCybrManO]

oh, and dont go too any goddamn shrinks. I know, I'm studying psychology. Normal people will help you much more than they ever will. Jesus, saying that low seratonin causes depression is like say low food intake causes starvation. You can't surgically insert some bulimic chic with a food tube and claim the goddamn problem to be solved. You gotta find the reason. whether that may be low seratonin levels or not eating. What the hell is the matter with you people?

I think you're grossly mistaken about what real psychologists and psychiatrists do for a living. If you honestly think that is their job you should stay as far away from that career as humanly possible. Their real job is to listen to the person, find the root of their problems, and help guide them into solving their own problems. That's why you have long sessions and lots of them. It takes a while to "find the reason" and then to get person to understand how to cope with their problem. They have the knowledge of "normal people" but they also have several years of college and grad school studying human behavior and probably years of experience in dealing with people that have the same problems you are going through. If the person is only a psychologist, they aren't even allowed to put you on medication. They must transfer you to someone that is qualified to write prescriptions (you need extra medical training to become a psychiatrist) if they think you might need it... and even then, a good psychiatrist only uses medication as a last resort if their therapy doesn't get you anywhere (or if your specific thoughts/behaviors are very dangerous and need a quick fix until the problem can be solved). If you do visit one and they immediately try to push pills at you or lecture you about how you're a bad person/mother/father/son/etc (ie: Dr. Phil) you should tell them to go **** themselves and find a different one.

 

[Tr0n]

You don't need a shrink...

I found out if you listen to yourself, your heart and mind you can find the problem.Sometimes you can even find it in your emotions...you just have to want too find it and listen.Then try to fix that problem.

 

[Chav]

Cutting yourself is for the weak only , that's what I say and I'll stick to it.
Shit happens in live, get over it!

 

[SimonomiS]

Thanks a lot guys :thumbs:, don't think I'll cut in the near future, lot of very true and inspiring posts.
Didn't expect sympathy from people, I'm older now I know what people are like, so I'll work on bettering myself.
:cheers:

 

[oldagerocker]

I know of a UK forum based around depression, dealing with it and its a pretty good community...they all try and help each other stop self-harming and are a good group of guys and girls. If you want somewhere to vent at times, it might help, im not sure but if you want to take a look just pm me.
Then again, it could make you worse.

 

[Shodan]

Don't be around depressed people.

Makes you even more so.

 

[oldagerocker]

True, but its always nice to know people feel the same and know what you're on about. Which i guess everyone does anyway, its just hard to talk about it, bring it up.

 

[Solaris]

I STRONGLY advise going to a counciller. Self harm cannot be good, it only escalates the problem. Its not that uncommon among teenagers, alot more than you suspect self harm. However that doesnt mean its no biggie.

I sincerlay hope you take my advice.

Good luck
Solaris

 

[Angry Lawyer]

Thanks a lot guys :thumbs:, don't think I'll cut in the near future, lot of very true and inspiring posts.
Didn't expect sympathy from people, I'm older now I know what people are like, so I'll work on bettering myself.
:cheers:

I've got scars. I know how it feels, and how it seems the easy way out. But those scars are there for good now. Kinda wish I didn't now, because it's not exactly the best conversation topic when someone notices.

-Angry Lawyer

 

[CptStern]

[Long Essay Mode]
Ok, a couple of years ago, I asked someone out, I was quite young, perhaps a bit too soft, and they laughed at me. That really dented my confidence, and I reacted badly to it, and I started cutting my hand with some keys, not a clue where I picked that up from.
And it helped. Needless to say it snowballed from there, I don't think at first I was depressed, but when I got dependant on self-harm, I think I did begin to get clinically depressed.
Anyway, it got worse, and worse, I started trying to hang myself (Too much of a wimp to actually let myself hang freely) cutting all over my body, legs, arms, chest, stomach, neck, anything I could basically.
Then I started even doing it in school, friends found out, but I'm not sure whether the fact they didn't tell anyone made them good friends or bad friends (In my book, it makes them good friends, someone asks you not to tell anyone, you don't tell anyone, simple as) and in one textiles lesson we were given scalpels...
Started slicing away at my wrist under the table, so called "friend" told the teacher, I got sent home, they went through my bag and found a knife, some lighter fluid (Sniffing, guess thats solvent abuse, but I wasn't heavily into it) and some other things, and I got excluded.
Fast forward though councelling (Hated, hated , hated it), prozac, parents got told, life got pretty shit, got sent to a "special" school, then sent to a "Young Peoples Centre" (Sugar coated name for "Child Mental Home") which again, was hell. I told them exactly what they wanted to hear, and they let me home after a couple of weeks.
So, back in school, lot of changes, lot of things happening, started relapsing at points, stopped before someone found out. I'm not allowed to be sent home alone by school because I'm still (this is the term they referred to me as in quite a few letters home during the self-harm) "A threat to himself and others." which really pissed me off, guess they have "my best intentions at heart.".

Bullshit.

Now, present day, I hate my life. I really, really do hate my life. I'm too much of a wimp to kill myself, I'd probably fail like before (Hanging, overdosed on 32 paracetamol once, wouldn't recommend it), and it would affect too many people. I hate the fact that at my funeral people who didn't even know or like me would turn up and get sympathy from other people.
I digress, at times I really get the urge to cut again. I suppose it would be "right" to tell someone in authority, get some councelling again, but that didn't do shit. I haven't told my friends as they would tell someone without consulting me, and I'd be taken away or something again.
So, I tell a forum who can't do anything except influence me slightly towards what I should or shouldn't do.
Question: What if I could control my self-harm this time? What if no-one found out so there were no negative consequences? Its probably wrong to say it, but self-harm does help me with stress, unhappiness and self-loathing. Some people need crutches such as drugs or alcohol, both of which harm themselves.

Would it still be wrong to self-harm?
(I guess alot of people will say yes, but I'd like to see reasoning, and thanks if you take the time to read this, simply typing it has helped in a way.)

[/Long Essay Mode]

you need help, dont push away those that are trying to help. That said whatever it is your going through it may be temporary ..you may grow out of it by adulthood ...killing yourself is NOT the answer (just think how it would affect your family)...dude, you need professional help ..lying to the psychiatrist is only harming you in the long run



guys I cant stress this enough. Whatever you're going through in your teens will pass, you'll look back at that point in your life and wonder how you could have been that way. Trust me, lots of things change when you reach your mid-20's ..you'll discover yourself by then and all your past problems will seem trivial.

 

[OCybrManO]

Yes, but only because the new problems dwarf them... :O

 

[CptStern]

Yes, but only because the new problems dwarf them... :O

yes but by then you've developed coping skills

 

[Tr0n]

Hell I've already developed "coping" skills and I'm 17...

It's called "I don't give a damn".

 

[CptStern]

Hell I've already developed "coping" skills and I'm 17...

It's called "I don't give a damn".

that doesnt always work

serviceman: "sorry sir your basement is flooded it'll cost $4500 to fix it"


Tron: "I dont give a crap"

serviceman: ......"we have a special on inflatables if you'd like? ...I'll even throw in this bucket here at no cost to you"

 

[Tr0n]

Yea it doesn't...but in most situations it does.Like if you just got fired from a job or something...

 

[CptStern]

hehe I was kidding ..although you'd be lying if you said you didnt care about being fired ...unless the job was unbearable

 

[Tr0n]

Well I'm talking about not worrying...it's kinda like there's other fish in the sea.

Say I got fired...so what?There's a lot of better jobs out there to get.Why worry and go postal over it?

Sure I would be a little weezy over it...but hey I couldn't give a damn, because I might end up with a better job.You never know..

 

[short recoil]

Good attitude Tr0n, you will do well in life like that.
The only thing i worry about is my health.
Humans get too attached to silly little things, worry about the fact a certain colour of car has sold out or something stupid.

I keep myself distanced from human problems, keep myself happy and healthy and life is great.

 

[CptStern]

it'll become more important as you get better jobs

 

[short recoil]

it'll become more important as you get better jobs

Oh noes the precious money so i can buy a better car!

 

[CptStern]

Oh noes the precious money so i can buy a better car!

heh you'd be surprised how importent having a good paying job is. How will you save money for a house if you're on a fixed budget? How will you save for your retirement, your childrens education if you only have a mediocre job?

 

[short recoil]

heh you'd be surprised how importent having a good paying job is. How will you save money for a house if you're on a fixed budget? How will you save for your retirement, your childrens education if you only have a mediocre job?

Don't ever need to worry about childrens education.
Don't ever need to worry about housing anyone other than myself.
I need effectivley very little, of course other humans must have a new holiday house or a 5th car.

Hehe, life without human problems is so great.

 

[CptStern]

Don't ever need to worry about childrens education.
Don't ever need to worry about housing anyone other than myself.
I need effectivley very little, of course other humans must have a new holiday house or a 5th car.

Hehe, life without human problems is so great.

that's an over simplistic approach ..so in other words your content paying rent for the rest of your life? ..that's ok, renters payed for 3 years of my mortgage ..thankyouverymuch

oh and the 5th car and holiday house ...<shakes head> only professionals or family money can afford that ...I'm talking your average middle class lifestyle

 

[Tr0n]

Well ya'll shouldn't even be worrying about how you're gonna pay for a house and all that good shit.That's probally far off for ya'll (and me included)...

Don't dwell on the past...or worry about the future, because you will forget to enjoy the present.

 

[OCybrManO]

Don't dwell on the past...or worry about the future, because you will forget to enjoy the present.

PRESENT?! WHERE?! Did I miss one from Christmas or was it for my birthday?

 

[jondy]

Don't ever need to worry about childrens education.
Don't ever need to worry about housing anyone other than myself.
I need effectivley very little, of course other humans must have a new holiday house or a 5th car.

Hehe, life without human problems is so great.

'Humans'.

 

[short recoil]

*sighs* you really havn't got the point.
I distance myself from human problems, the trouble is i get dragged/forced back into it by other humans.

You keep on presuming things about me, "your childrens education" is an example.
Not many other humans understand my way of thinking, they wouldn't though, they are human.
I'm not your average guy.

This has gone way off topic now, mainly my fault but nevermind.

'Humans'.

That's what we are.
I always say humans instead of people for some reason.

 

[marksmanHL2 :)]

Thanks a lot guys :thumbs:, don't think I'll cut in the near future, lot of very true and inspiring posts.
Didn't expect sympathy from people, I'm older now I know what people are like, so I'll work on bettering myself.
:cheers:

Good to hear it.

 

[CptStern]

*sighs* you really havn't got the point.
I distance myself from human problems, the trouble is i get dragged/forced back into it by other humans.

You keep on presuming things about me, "your childrens education" is an example.
Not many other humans understand my way of thinking, they wouldn't though, they are human.
I'm not your average guy.

This has gone way off topic now, mainly my fault but nevermind.


That's what we are.
I always say humans instead of people for some reason.

I didnt want marriage or kids when I was in my twenties ...now I have both (I decided I wanted both by the time I was 32) ..you cant accurately predict where you will be in the future ...all you need is one little pinprick in your latex to change everything (which wasnt my motivating factor: planned parenthood)

 

[short recoil]

I didnt want marriage or kids when I was in my twenties ...now I have both (I decided I wanted both by the time I was 32) ..you cant accurately predict where you will be in the future ...all you need is one little pinprick in your latex to change everything (which wasnt my motivating factor: planned parenthood)

You are right, you can't accuratley predict where you will be in the future.
I am 19 now, some people may say this is quite young, many people say to me "you will change as you get older", they are right i will change but at the momment i do have quite a lot of maturity, i can say it dosn't look like i ever intend to have a girlfriend/wife, and moreso children.
Now i expect your reaction is to think i am immature, i can completely understand why.
You'd have to know me to understand me.

And as far as a pinprick in latex, well this will also never to happen to me since i won't ever have sex.

 

[CptStern]

You are right, you can't accuratley predict where you will be in the future.
I am 19 now, some people may say this is quite young, many people say to me "you will change as you get older", they are right i will change but at the momment i do have quite a lot of maturity, i can say it dosn't look like i ever intend to have a girlfriend/wife, and moreso children.
Now i expect your reaction is to think i am immature, i can completely understand why.
You'd have to know me to understand me.

I do understand ..but maturity doesnt mean you'll always make the right choices

And as far as a pinprick in latex, well this will also never to happen to me since i won't ever have sex.

ok unless you lost something as a result of a bizarre gardening accident I think that's that's a bit of a stretch

 

[Tr0n]

And as far as a pinprick in latex, well this will also never to happen to me since i won't ever have sex.

I'm gonna try and not laugh at that....

**** it...HAHAHAHAHA...*cough*