McGooTheWise
Newbie
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2006
- Messages
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Today I started out my normal routine, putting the dog in it's crate downstairs, and then driving to school. Today, however, would turn out to be the shittiest day i ever had. While I was gone, I'm guessing an hour or so after I had left for my 2 hour session, the dog got sick and did the shits all over her crate. After school I decided to go over to my best friend Matt's house. I picked him up and we brought over his rock band stuff. We were ready to have some fun, and I was going to play drums. (Which I play in real life much better, tbh) So, when i got home, i went downstairs to let the dog out to shit bnefore it shit all over the crate... or so I thought. As I opened the door to the unfinished side, where the crate is, I was nearly pushed back by the most horrible smell I have ever fathomed.
If you want any idea how bad this smell was, go to a farm, find the cows, smush your face into a cow pie, then light it on fire. That is how bad it was. I could see, with blurry eyes from tears that the dog was laying in a pool of brown... Filth.
Now, as my friends know, me and this dog haven't had a great history over the month it's been here. it has never liked me, or given me a chance to be it's friend. Whenever i get within 10 feet of it, it tucks it's ears behind it's head and runs away, like I'm going to beat the holy shit out of it. Though I've never harmed the dog in any way, from the very moment we got her, she's been terrified of me. So, I look down at this evil dog covered in it's own filth... She stares up at me with thart "OHH HOLY SHIT!" face.
I slowly open the crate door, but as I do so, she makes a dart between my leg and the side of the crate, so, not knowing if she's going to smear me with shit, I dash to the side. I can already hear the dog running up the steps in the other room and I can only umagine the nasty trail it's left behind for me to clean up, as I can already see shitty paw prints running to the stairs, so, in pure rage and anger, I scream at the top of my lungs, in my deep booming voice, "****!" but much more than that. The volume it escaped my mouth at suprized even me. But, as I look up the steps i can see the dog at the top, only imagining what type of trail she's about to make through the house.
So, I run up the steps, trying to catch her before she can run away, and unbeknownst to me, Matt had left the garage door open because he was carrying the Xbox inside. So, the dog flies out the garage door, into the front yard, and runs away. At this point I'm not in a good enough mind set to care weather or not she gets run over, so I just tell Matt to go outside and keep an eye on her. I go back downstairs to access the damage. The tray in the crate is just horribly covered in diahrea, and I noticed a spot where the dog had thrown up because of the smell it had produced. Then I track behind me, to the stairs. As the dog rounded the corner to go up the steps, it had slipped. A large smear of feces went all the way around the corner.
So, naturally, I went upstairs and got the Spot Shot, an old towel, and a few cans of lysol, then began to scrub. After a few minutes of scrubbing, My friend yells at me down the steps. "Chad, me and the neighbor trapped her in the garage!" he said.
Not sure if I want to do anything with the filthy beast at the moment, I got up, and climbed the steps. As I step out the front door, I can see my neighbor trying to keep the dog in the garage. So, i get the idea to let Matt go and keep her comfortable while I close the garage from the outside panel. So, naturally, it worked, but now I have another challenge... how to get the dog to the backyard without letting her get into the living room. Well, luckily the backyard Door is right across from the Garage door, so I put chairs in the way of the living room (There's no door from the kitchen to the living room.) and opened the back door as wide as it would go. I told Matt from the other side of the door,
"Get ready, She might try to get past you." Knowing that she was covered in shit, I didn't want to risk him getting all dirty because of my animal. So, i open up the garage door, and the dog tucks it's ears behind it's head. She looks up at me, begging me not to hurt her. And I reply by putting my hands up, in a surrender position. I back away from the doorway and lure her in with the baby talk we usually use on out pets. She walk through the door and looks up at me again, and gives me the same look. I'm not in the mood for this. I point to the back door and snap, and she runs as fast as she can outside, slipping on the linoleum.
Now that the dog is in the backyard, and i am sure the gates are locked, I close the door. It's time to call my mom. So, me and my mom talk about this a little, and i can sense her getting more angry as I deliver more of the news, so I begin to act as if nothing has ever pissed me off more. This seems to work on my mother, so instead of getting mad at me, she'll see that I'm mad, and know that it's not my doing. So, now we are faced with one last task... how to get the crate outside without getting dog shit all over the house...
So, I came up with the idea that we'll slide the tray out and put garbage bags around either side of it, then carry that, then collapse the wire frame and carry that outside. Only problem is, the bags are too small to fit around the tray... So, we have to think of something else.
Matt, thank god he was around, because I would have killed myself trying to clean this up, (He was spraying Lysol while I was cleaning the spots so that neither of us would throw up from the horrid smell.) thought that we should throw paper towels on the wet and runny parts and poke them with a yardstick to make sure they soaked up... whatever needed to be soaked up... So, we did. We used the yardstick because the dog is obviously sick, and even if it wasn't, who wants to get that close to dog diarrhea?
So, the paper towels soak up the runny stuff. now to slide it out of the frame. As Matt pulled on the tray, I poked the paper towels to make sure they went through the small opening without sliding out. Then, still weary of being covered in shit, we each put a single garbage bag around both our hands (We can't waste.) and carried it up the steps. Then once we got that outside we carried the wire frame outside, and set them both in the grass. The dog, rolling in the grass trying toget shit out of it's fur, walked over to the tray to sniff it, and gagged. I personally thought it was funny, but Matt said he was about to be sick, so we went inside and washed off, even though we didn't really touch any of the excrement, we just wanted to be sure.
Now, tomorrow, I have to go outside and spray off that tray, and wash the dog, then mop the floor in the basement. That will be fun... And I also get to clean my room, so that is also cool. As I write this, my brother is downstairs, shampooing the carpet, and I can smell that same horrible smell, so I'm glad it's being released out of the carpet. I hope I never have to smell that again.
By the way, it's not as long as it seems. just read it, you lazy bastards.
If you want any idea how bad this smell was, go to a farm, find the cows, smush your face into a cow pie, then light it on fire. That is how bad it was. I could see, with blurry eyes from tears that the dog was laying in a pool of brown... Filth.
Now, as my friends know, me and this dog haven't had a great history over the month it's been here. it has never liked me, or given me a chance to be it's friend. Whenever i get within 10 feet of it, it tucks it's ears behind it's head and runs away, like I'm going to beat the holy shit out of it. Though I've never harmed the dog in any way, from the very moment we got her, she's been terrified of me. So, I look down at this evil dog covered in it's own filth... She stares up at me with thart "OHH HOLY SHIT!" face.
I slowly open the crate door, but as I do so, she makes a dart between my leg and the side of the crate, so, not knowing if she's going to smear me with shit, I dash to the side. I can already hear the dog running up the steps in the other room and I can only umagine the nasty trail it's left behind for me to clean up, as I can already see shitty paw prints running to the stairs, so, in pure rage and anger, I scream at the top of my lungs, in my deep booming voice, "****!" but much more than that. The volume it escaped my mouth at suprized even me. But, as I look up the steps i can see the dog at the top, only imagining what type of trail she's about to make through the house.
So, I run up the steps, trying to catch her before she can run away, and unbeknownst to me, Matt had left the garage door open because he was carrying the Xbox inside. So, the dog flies out the garage door, into the front yard, and runs away. At this point I'm not in a good enough mind set to care weather or not she gets run over, so I just tell Matt to go outside and keep an eye on her. I go back downstairs to access the damage. The tray in the crate is just horribly covered in diahrea, and I noticed a spot where the dog had thrown up because of the smell it had produced. Then I track behind me, to the stairs. As the dog rounded the corner to go up the steps, it had slipped. A large smear of feces went all the way around the corner.
So, naturally, I went upstairs and got the Spot Shot, an old towel, and a few cans of lysol, then began to scrub. After a few minutes of scrubbing, My friend yells at me down the steps. "Chad, me and the neighbor trapped her in the garage!" he said.
Not sure if I want to do anything with the filthy beast at the moment, I got up, and climbed the steps. As I step out the front door, I can see my neighbor trying to keep the dog in the garage. So, i get the idea to let Matt go and keep her comfortable while I close the garage from the outside panel. So, naturally, it worked, but now I have another challenge... how to get the dog to the backyard without letting her get into the living room. Well, luckily the backyard Door is right across from the Garage door, so I put chairs in the way of the living room (There's no door from the kitchen to the living room.) and opened the back door as wide as it would go. I told Matt from the other side of the door,
"Get ready, She might try to get past you." Knowing that she was covered in shit, I didn't want to risk him getting all dirty because of my animal. So, i open up the garage door, and the dog tucks it's ears behind it's head. She looks up at me, begging me not to hurt her. And I reply by putting my hands up, in a surrender position. I back away from the doorway and lure her in with the baby talk we usually use on out pets. She walk through the door and looks up at me again, and gives me the same look. I'm not in the mood for this. I point to the back door and snap, and she runs as fast as she can outside, slipping on the linoleum.
Now that the dog is in the backyard, and i am sure the gates are locked, I close the door. It's time to call my mom. So, me and my mom talk about this a little, and i can sense her getting more angry as I deliver more of the news, so I begin to act as if nothing has ever pissed me off more. This seems to work on my mother, so instead of getting mad at me, she'll see that I'm mad, and know that it's not my doing. So, now we are faced with one last task... how to get the crate outside without getting dog shit all over the house...
So, I came up with the idea that we'll slide the tray out and put garbage bags around either side of it, then carry that, then collapse the wire frame and carry that outside. Only problem is, the bags are too small to fit around the tray... So, we have to think of something else.
Matt, thank god he was around, because I would have killed myself trying to clean this up, (He was spraying Lysol while I was cleaning the spots so that neither of us would throw up from the horrid smell.) thought that we should throw paper towels on the wet and runny parts and poke them with a yardstick to make sure they soaked up... whatever needed to be soaked up... So, we did. We used the yardstick because the dog is obviously sick, and even if it wasn't, who wants to get that close to dog diarrhea?
So, the paper towels soak up the runny stuff. now to slide it out of the frame. As Matt pulled on the tray, I poked the paper towels to make sure they went through the small opening without sliding out. Then, still weary of being covered in shit, we each put a single garbage bag around both our hands (We can't waste.) and carried it up the steps. Then once we got that outside we carried the wire frame outside, and set them both in the grass. The dog, rolling in the grass trying toget shit out of it's fur, walked over to the tray to sniff it, and gagged. I personally thought it was funny, but Matt said he was about to be sick, so we went inside and washed off, even though we didn't really touch any of the excrement, we just wanted to be sure.
Now, tomorrow, I have to go outside and spray off that tray, and wash the dog, then mop the floor in the basement. That will be fun... And I also get to clean my room, so that is also cool. As I write this, my brother is downstairs, shampooing the carpet, and I can smell that same horrible smell, so I'm glad it's being released out of the carpet. I hope I never have to smell that again.
By the way, it's not as long as it seems. just read it, you lazy bastards.
