Jade Raymond NEKKID!!!!11111

[CptStern]

ok, here's the story in a nutshell: ..SomethingAweful members linked to a site that had a comic featuring a cartoon jade raymond performing errr .. oral on multiple ..err people in the industry ..Ubisoft got wind of it and sent in the lawyers:

November 15, 2007
VIA EXPRESS MAIL AND EMAIL
Attn: Richard Kyanka
[email protected]
RE:
Infringement of ASSASSIN?S CREED Mark and Jade Raymond?s Personal, Privacy, and Publicity Rights

Dear Mr. Kyanka:

We are counsel to Ubisoft Entertainment S.A. (?Ubisoft?), publisher of the popular video game ASSASSIN?S CREED and employer of Ms. Jade Raymond (?Ms. Raymond?). Ubisoft is also the owner of the following U.S. trademark applications for the ASSASSIN?S CREED mark (the ?Mark?): Serial No. 78850944; Serial No. 78866696; and Serial No. 78850968. In consequence of Ubisoft?s extensive efforts and expenditures, substantial goodwill has been built up for Ubisoft and the products and services sold under the Mark, and the ASSASSIN?S CREED game is one of the most widely anticipated games of the year.

Ubisoft has recently learned that the extremely offensive pornographic image (the ?Image?) accessible at http://sabretooth.mirror.waffleimag...dd47ceb2a5.jpg, a copy of which is attached hereto, is being used on your website located at http://www.somethingawful.com and/or other related sites, including, but not limited to, http://forums.somethingawful.com (collectively, the ?Site?). Such Image and misuse of the ASSASSIN?S CREED mark constitute trademark infringement, dilution, and unfair competition in violation of common law trademark rights, the Lanham Act, 15 U.S.C. ??1125(a) and 1125(c), and state law.

Furthermore, the Image?s blatant, vile, and unauthorized misappropriation of Ms. Raymond?s name and likeness, and your conduct in using the Image on your Site, have caused immeasurable harm to Ms. Raymond?s reputation and career, and constitute an egregious infringement of Ms. Raymond?s personal rights and privacy rights. The Image and your conduct also constitute an egregious unauthorized commercial exploitation of Ms. Raymond?s rights of publicity in violation of, without limitation, her common law rights of publicity and California Civil Code ?3344, which provides in relevant part:

?Any person who knowingly uses another?s name, .., photograph, or likeness, in any manner, on or in products, merchandise, or goods, or for purposes of advertising or selling, or soliciting purchases of, products, merchandise, goods or services, without such person?s prior consent?shall be liable for any damages sustained by the person or persons injured as a result thereof.?

It is well established that a person who commercially exploits the name or likeness of someone without their consent is liable for all of the damages caused thereby. Additionally, the Image and your conduct in using the Image on the Site constitute unfair business practices and false advertising in violation of the California Business and Professions Code; intentional infliction of emotional distress; a violation of the Lanham Act, 15 U.S.C. ?1125(a); and harassment, which is a criminal offense.

Please also note that any failure to comply with applicable privacy laws may result in direct action against you by the Federal Trade Commission, in addition to other litigation.

Ubisoft hereby demands that you immediately: (1) permanently remove the Image from your Site, databases and servers and prevent any further uploading or display thereof; (2) permanently cease and desist all unauthorized use and hosting of images using the ASSASSIN?S CREED mark and Ms. Raymond?s name and/or likeness; (3) provide us with the name and contact information of the person who originally created and/or posted the Image; and (4) complete, execute, and return to me the enclosed Declaration by November 16, 2007 to confirm that you are complying with Ubisoft?s demand.

While Ubisoft hopes to resolve this matter quickly and without resort to further legal action, Ubisoft reserves all rights to seek appropriate legal relief, including attorneys? fees, injunctive relief, statutory damages, costs, and enhanced damages.

Sincerely,

David Anderson
for Nixon Peabody LLP

Dave Anderson
Nixon Peabody LLP

this was Lowtax's (owner of Somethingawful) response

Please let it be known that hereforth I have read the express mail and email sent thereforth by Famous Lawyer David Anderson of the Famous Lawyer Law Business of Nixon Peabody LLP, and furthermore a declaration shall be expressed on the part of Internet User Rich ?Lowtax? Kyanka that thatforth herethrough I have conducted rigorous tests implemented through a vigorous barrage of legal studies, and furthermore hitherthrough these rigorous tests have therefore proven Famous Lawyer David Anderson of the Famous Lawyer Law Business of Nixon Peabody LLP shall be recognized as a man of the fag persuasion.

Pursuant to the United Dairy Council

Rich ?Lowtax? Kyanka
Internet

lol

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2686438

 

[Beerdude26]

Famous Lawyer David Anderson of the Famous Lawyer Law Business of Nixon Peabody LLP shall be recognized as a man of the fag persuasion.

LOL genius

But thread is worthless without linx

 

[CptStern]

sobering part of Ubisoft's demands:

(3) provide us with the name and contact information of the person who originally created and/or posted the Image

wtf?

 

[Lucid]

Haha.

 

[TCfromBN]

He'll probably just make some random contact info.

haha

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Oh rofl.

 

[nutcrackr]

can't find the comic

 

[CptStern]

they took it down, that's what the laywer letter is for

 

[CptStern]

lol, here's what the guy who created the comic posted on his site:

Yes, apparently Ubi-Soft were none too pleased at the denizens of Something Awful posting my Assassin's Creed comic. Also, have a giggle at the AIDS ridden losers who post on SA harping on about moral authority. These ******s PAY to post on a forum. That says it all, really.

 

[OmegaX]

Look for it on Digg.com and check the comments. People post various mirrors for the image. I'm too lazy to look for them again.

 

[CptStern]

ya I've seen it, not that bad but dont want to post here in case they release the hounds err ..lawyers riding hounds

 

[jimbo118]

LOl thats awesome, great reply.

 

[Absinthe]

It's always beautiful when SA gets into alleged legal trouble.

 

[Irksome]

Your game feels so good!

 

[nurizeko]

The most delicious thing about all this, is that until today I never heard of Jade Raymond and her insignificant little developer house.

Oh and I was only barely aware of her game, mainly because, it looked shit, and that was just from the irritating ads alone.

I managed to see that comic though before it dissappeared.

So hats off to Jade, This was a triumph, huge success!.

I'll always remember you, your game, and your company now. But probably for the wrong reasons. And I still feel no desire to give money to you.

:bounce:

 

[Darkside55]

Those aren't all people in the industry...that one guy in the hat and glasses with the derp expression is a kid from a Halo 3 magazine ad. "The only thing better than beating Halo 3 on Legendary was telling my friends about it." His facial expression's become a semi-popular meme; his facial expression's been drawn onto other characters. There's even a TF2 one.

Also...I think...I think this is Scribblekid. I'm like 97% certain this is Scribblekid's art. Hunh. I knew he couldn't stop drawing porn, and what do you know, it isn't loli or his shitty Chugworth comic. This is actually kinda good.

I can't believe I'm saying something Scribblekid did is good.

 

[Unfocused]

they took it down, that's what the laywer letter is for

I didn't think they would comply after giving such a response.

 

[Jintor]

Yeah, that looks like Chugworth art to me. :/

 

[JFry]

She's hot. Thread title is misleading.

 

[Barnz]

http://www.jade-raymond.com the hell?

How come our beloved video game developer Gabe Newell (or Kim Swift) does not have a fan site?

 

[Krynn72]

Somebody has to have saved the comic elsewhere. I wanna see what all the ruckus is about.

 

[Jintor]

It's on the Chugworth site.

http://www.chugworth.com/?strip_id=390

Second comment, big link.

 

[Qonfused]

I lol'd pretty hard.

 

[lePobz]

Why do you act like its forbidden to post it ... theres no porn involved, its just a comic. Probably nsfw though.

Spoiler

It's not even that funny ... I guess that lass saw it herself and went off on one though. That's life. At least jack thompson is nowhere to be found.

 

[Darkside55]

At least jack thompson is nowhere to be found.

What do you think he'd say if he got a load of this?

 

[Bad^Hat]

Also...I think...I think this is Scribblekid.

Thank christ, I wasn't the only one who noticed. >_>

Anyway, I've got nothing personal against her (besides her inability to form basic sentences), but bitch was asking for it. I lol'd at this from another link on digg -

BEHOLD JADE RAYMO-- err, Ubisoft Montreal. Yeah, they're in there somewhere. Gee I bet morale is high in that office.

But whatever, my bitching has no moral basis anyway, considering I wouldn't have a bad thing to say about her if she actually did do that Maxim spread. Just kind of amusing to see Ubi's cutesy little figurehead knocked down a peg. Also, many lols from Lowtax's response.







Oh, and cartoon or not, that title is a lie. I may set the bar low, but I cannot get my fap on to nerd jizz. Stern fails to deliver! :frown:

 

[<RJMC>]

thats what happens when you are a good looking woman and work in a industry dominated by nerdy horny mans

and why just blowjobs? she would have used all her arsenal
I have a urge to make a comic like that but dont want ubisoft suing my ass
but I say we all should make more of that comic!

 

[Unfocused]

I don't really get what all the fuss with Raymond is about anyway. She's quite attractive IMHO, but not THAT attractive as many make her. It's just that she works in the industry that makes people go crazy.

 

[CyberPitz]

How can somebody take legal action against a comic? Are they able?

 

[Krynn72]

I guess if they see it as slander. I think only certain people are allowed to be slandered if they lead a public life (celebrities, president etc).

 

[Wanted Bob]

Not funny at all, though its probably going to far to take legal action. Its just really bad taste, and a poor sense of humour.

 

[99.vikram]

Despite Jade Raymond being INCREDIBLY HOT, I don't see why the comic author would be liable.

 

[Krynn72]

TBH I think the girl on G4 TV is much hotter.

 

[Stigmata]

TBH I think the girl on G4 TV is much hotter.

Morgan Webb? I dunno, I think Jade is far more attractive than Ms. Manjaw.

 

[Krynn72]

Have you seen the picture of her in the Princess Leia outfit? If you havent yet, then I can understand where you're coming from.


EDIT: Wait no, not Morgan, Olivia Munn.

 

[Stigmata]

Have you seen the picture of her in the Princess Leia outfit? If you havent yet, then I can understand where you're coming from.


EDIT: Wait no, not Morgan, Olivia Munn.

I still think Jade is hotter.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Have you seen the picture of her in the Princess Leia outfit? If you havent yet, then I can understand where you're coming from.


EDIT: Wait no, not Morgan, Olivia Munn.

God yes.

 

[Zephos]

Just watched a video interview with Jade Raymond.

Jesus ****ing christ, she sounds brain dead.

Still, would tap it.

 

[Jintor]

Yes, everyone always taps the brain dead.

Sigh.

 

[99.vikram]

Yes, everyone always taps the brain dead.

Sigh.

At your age you should be thinking with your penis. Shame on you. :frown: