Just got caught in the act

Ravioli

Ravioli

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Im 19 and a seriously chronic masturbator. I still live with my parents, and my mom has always walked in on me several times but never noticed. I am a professional so i can easily hide what im doing and play it off in a split second. However, today i was off-edge and she caught me in the act. I was completely shocked and turned my monitor off and hid my junk. I knew i couldnt get myself out of this one so i just laughed it off and admitted

me: "WHAT THE...uhm...im...im doing....you know...im watching...stuff"
mom: "what??"
me: "im...im watching..STUFF"
mom: "i dont...oh...you mean...oh
me: "yeah...."
mom: "ok well...il just go.."
me: "ok"

akwarrdddddd

Things seems to be fine now though, we just laughed it off i guess.


NEXT TIME ****ING KNOCK
 
I either:

A. Wait until no one is home
B. Do it in the bathroom
C. wait until 2:00AM when people are sleeping
 
But you see my friend, that is simply not possible for a chronic masturbator.
 
I guess I'm the only one in the world that has doors that can lock.

The only way I could get caught is if I forgot to lock the door, which has happened before but nothing ever happened.
 
Put a lock on the door.

or, maybe because of this awkward incident, your mom will knock first...


edit: damn it Veg beat me to it
 
Having a westside wank in your bed/bedroom is so old skool. Try something new. Like wanking in your moms closet with fishnet stockings over your head while hanging yourself with her leather g strings.
 
Ravioli said:
Im 19 and a seriously chronic masturbator.
Click to expand...
Hahaha, I stepped into this fuckin' thread without even mousing over the link to read the first sentence, but I KNEW it was gonna be quality.

I am a professional
Click to expand...
Oh, Ravioli. Good thread, man. Good thread.
 
You know, you can always not do it. Join a support group or something.


It can kill you, you know.
 
Darkside55 said:
Where's the fun in that?
Click to expand...

You know, you can always play this game, where you try and go as far as you can without jerking off. When you can't hold it anymore, you then have just




lost the game.
 
Baserape> said:
Having a westside wank in your bed/bedroom is so old skool. Try something new. Like wanking in your moms closet with fishnet stockings over your head while hanging yourself with her leather g strings.
Click to expand...
/jots down on notepad






Continue.
 
This is almost exactly how I got caught, the one and only time that I got caught in the act.

The computer was actually in the living room (closed all the curtains), and I was doin ma bizznezz at about 3 in the morning, when suddenly I hear feetsteps comming down the stairs (which are actually right next to the computer, offering the most amazing birds eye view of my junk ever).

Luckily the lights were all off, so I just told my mom "STOP!!!!"

I hear the footsteps pause for a few seconds, then I hear "Oh my god, are you wearing pants?"

Me "uhh... no"

Her "Holy cow there's a window right over there you know? I hope nobody saw you", then I hear her go back to her room.

So wait till early morning. It's only failed me that one time :p
 
Never been caught. I'm too slick.

Even if I was in a situation I couldn't hide it without looking awkward though, I'd just shamelessly admit to jerking off and tell them to GTFO until I was done as I don't give a damn about hiding my masculinity when it comes to that point. (no pun intended) Modesty is for squares. Every man does it no matter how much pussy they get and sometimes we just want to make love to ourselves.
 
haha noobs!

And you call your self pro's!
 
Ravioli said:
Im 19 and a seriously chronic masturbator. I still live with my parents, and my mom has always walked in on me several times but never noticed. I am a professional so i can easily hide what im doing and play it off in a split second. However, today i was off-edge and she cought me in the act. I was completely shocked and turned my monitor off and hid my junk. I knew i couldnt get myself out of this one so i just laughed it off and admitted

me: "WHAT THE...uhm...im...im doing....you know...im watching...stuff"
mom: "what??"
me: "im...im watching..STUFF"
mom: "i dont...oh...you mean...oh
me: "yeah...."
mom: "ok well...il just go.."
me: "ok"

akwarrdddddd

Things seems to be fine now though, we just laughed it off i guess.


NEXT TIME ****ING KNOCK
Click to expand...



If it makes you feel any better, and eases your mind... your mom masturbates too. She hasn't seen anything she doesn't already do.
 
Yeah next time you should ask your mom to get in on the act with you. She's seen it all before.
 
Yeah next time you should try to get caught by her.
 
Hhaha, Mom walked in the bathroom when I was only 10 years old. She had knocked but opened the door, "You all right in there?", expecting me to be in the shower. I suppose I was taking a long time. I had the shower running as cover, but I was sitting on the toilet stroking it, shaft completely lathered in soap. Mom walked in, looked at me D:, I looked at her D:, she walked back out.

Thinking back, I could just picture her walking into the living room to ask my brothers "Who taught him that? He's 10!". Truth is, I discovered it by accident when I had to piss really bad and kept squeezing my cock to hold it in.

From then on, it was after hours in bed for me. I'm still a little embarrassed about it. Never got caught again. Also, door locks are a fine invention.
 
Locks. And for the location that I can't use locks, there's the stair lights and general creaking of the steps.
 
TollBooth Willie said:
Were you viewing www.whalepenis.org at the time?
Click to expand...
cano.jpg



Vegeta897 said:
Yeah next time you should try to get caught by her.
Click to expand...

Is that some kind of odd wincest fetish?

I was actually fapping to some crude domination spanking videos :eek: Even though i turned the monitor off i could still hear the screams in my headphones as i stared into my mothers eyes. I think the shit gave me mental scars.
 
But wouldnt locks kind of give it away? I mean "oh thats odd, his door is locked, why on earth would he lock his door? oh...hes fapping" is the same as getting caught, sort of. Instead of having an awkward encounter as you are fapping, you will have an awkward encounter once you are done and walk out of the room.
 
Nope. You have some suspicious parents. Though there are times I open a locked door right away when they attempt entry so they wouldn't be the wiser. I had gotten used to locking my door no matter.
 
Ravioli said:
But wouldnt locks kind of give it away? I mean "oh thats odd, his door is locked, why on earth would he lock his door? oh...hes fapping" is the same as getting caught, sort of. Instead of having an awkward encounter as you are fapping, you will have an awkward encounter once you are done and walk out of the room.
Click to expand...

But then you bypass the element of surprise, which is the traumatic part.

Think about it, the only reason getting caught sucks is because everybody is surprised and embarrassed. Nobody actually gives a **** about you fapping.

So, if your door is locked, and somebody kinda figures out "oh lol, he's fapping". Then it ends there. They walk away, and you finish cumming into your favorite t-shirt. Life is well.

Also, while this may come as a surprise to the chronic-bater (such as yourself), not everybody thinks so much about touching their junk that they automatically jump to the conclusion that you're pleasuring yourself when they find your door is locked. Drugs maybe, but fapping is probably one of the last things. Hell, they'd probably suspect you of boning a man in there before they suspect you're masturbating.
 
Ravioli said:
Im 19 and a seriously chronic masturbator. I still live with my parents, and my mom has always walked in on me several times but never noticed. I am a professional so i can easily hide what im doing and play it off in a split second. However, today i was off-edge and she caught me in the act. I was completely shocked and turned my monitor off and hid my junk. I knew i couldnt get myself out of this one so i just laughed it off and admitted

me: "WHAT THE...uhm...im...im doing....you know...im watching...stuff"
mom: "what??"
me: "im...im watching..STUFF"
mom: "i dont...oh...you mean...oh
me: "yeah...."
mom: "ok well...il just go.."
me: "ok"

akwarrdddddd

Things seems to be fine now though, we just laughed it off i guess.


NEXT TIME ****ING KNOCK
Click to expand...


shoulda asked to help you out.
 
If you were really a pro you would have locked your room.Yes.Yes , that is right , you are reading my name right.

Tip:Use Google Chrome incognito mode :3
 
Ha! Talk to a real professional.

Not only have I NEVER been caught, I once on the car back from scotland, parents in the front seat, jerked off successfully without them noticing. Yes, I am awesome.
 
Shift said:
Ha! Talk to a real professional.

Not only have I NEVER been caught, I once on the car back from scotland, parents in the front seat, jerked off successfully without them noticing. Yes, I am awesome.
Click to expand...

I don't even want to comment on how sick , disturbing and ****ING SICK that is.When I'm in the bathroom doing my stuff and if i even here my mom's voice i go down.Seriously.Dude.
 
It was a motorway, all you could hear was the sound of an engine, and I was bored, what d'ya want from me!
 
Shift said:
Ha! Talk to a real professional.

Not only have I NEVER been caught, I once on the car back from scotland, parents in the front seat, jerked off successfully without them noticing. Yes, I am awesome.
Click to expand...

Hahah, that reminds me.

I must have been 11, on the way back from my Dad's house, in the back seat behind the driver, with a blanket; success.

Also, Mrs. Peacock, with a pipe wrench, in the library.
 
Shut the hell up you irritating prude. It's not like he was cumming on his mom's face. (probably)
 
VirusType2 said:
Hahah, that reminds me.

I must have been 11, on the way back from my Dad's house, in the back seat behind the driver, with a blanket; success.

Also, Mrs. Peacock, with a pipe wrench, in the library.
Click to expand...

Waikiki beach on a holiday.

bluewaikiki.jpg


I win.

I didn't wazz though, too weird
 
Wow. How did you manage to pull that one off?

(pun intended)
 
Skaadi said:
Wow. How did you manage to pull that one off?

(pun intended)
Click to expand...

Went into the water, floated a little bit away from shore.....

...wait don't you have tits? I shouldn't be telling you this D:
 
Yeah I don't really want to know, I can't just resist a pun. :p

Story should have ended with getting stung in the junk by a jellyfish though.
 
**** it, I've done it while driving; but yeah, too weird to execute 'final phase'. Also, got head while driving a few times, which is much cooler.

EDIT: I can't figure out how in the **** you could stroke your cock at the beach with that many people around. Then again, my cock is almost as big as I am; I can't assume it's the same for everyone.
 
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